It all started one day in Petropolis at T.U.F.F. HQ where the Chief was in the process of hiring a new agent named Joe.
Chief: "...and it says here on your resume that you're good with gunnery skills?" Joe: "Sure do." *hears buzzing noise* "See that mosquito on the other side of this floor?" *camera zooms towards bug* Chief: "What's your point?" *Joe shoots the bug and the bug has disappeared* Joe: "Does that answer your question?" Chief: "That was amazing! What else can you do?" Joe: "I can make a battlecruiser out of rhubarb!" The Chief just looks at him wierd.
Chief: "Okay...it says here you also have a bulletproof skull?" Joe: "It comes handy...sometimes. Then again, so does having a tank." The Chief just stares at him. "What! It's how I go from place to place. See?" They both look out the window to see a M551 Sheridan tank. Chief: "It says here you are known to be crazy..."
Joe: "Don't ask. You're better off not knowing." He smiles awkwardly. Chief: "Well everything else is in order. You've got the job!" Joe: "Yay! What do ya want me to do? Fight bad guys? Blow stuff up? Invade Canada? Blow up bad guys while invading Canada!..."
Chief: "I want you to go get the donuts." Joe's smile suddenly disappeared but he kept his cool.
Joe: (sarcastically) "Yay..." (to himself) "That would explain the early morning interview." He gets to the bakery and orders a few donuts. Meanwhile, in the D.O.O.M. van, Snaptrap and his gang were spying on the rookie. Ollie: "Um...boss? Don't you think it's a crazy idea to steal donuts? From a T.U.F.F. agent?"
Larry: "Especially with that tank in the parking lot?"
Snaptrap: "Don't worry boys. This'll be easier than stealing candy fom a baby. Ooh! Someone remind me to do that tomorrow!"
Anyway, Joe gets the donuts and D.O.O.M. carries out the plan. One of them taps on Joe's shoulder, and when Joe isn't looking someone else takes the donuts. Joe then realizes that the donuts are missing. Joe: "What the-?" He sees the donuts being stolen by Snaptrap. "Get back here ya smelly rat!" While Snaptrap and his men drive off in the D.O.O.M. van while Joe pursues.
Snaptrap: *laughs manaically* "It's so fun stealing donuts from other people! Especially from rookie T.U.F.F. Agents!" Then Larry looks behind them. Larry: "*panics* "Snaptrap, you might wanna look at this...!"
Snaptrap: "Put a sock in it, Larry! This is why I ignore you!"
Ollie: "You might want to listen for once!" Snaptrap: "Why? What could be behind us that's so-" *adjusts rearview mirror and sees a tank* "Step on it Fransisco!" He steps on it but one of the tires blows. Joe doesn't stop and D.O.O.M. escapes the van before Joe runs over it.
Joe then gets out of the tank to fight them in order to save the donuts. Meanwhile, our two other T.U.F.F. agents, Kitty and Dudley were driving along on their way to work when Dudley sees the fight and sees that Joe is winning.
Dudley: "Kitty, stop the car!" Kitty stops and sees the fight too. "Look at that awesome fight!"
Kitty: "Dudley! That guy needs our help!" They both bring out thier blasters and try to help. Unfortunately a poorly timed shot hits Joe. He turns around and he thinks they're trying to help D.O.O.M. Joe: "Looks like I got some reinforcements to deal with. Well then..." *He grabs a bazooka from nowhere...* "TASTE THIS!" *...and destroys the T.U.F.F.-mobile. (Don't worry it'll get fixed.) Dudley: "Dude! Whose side are you on!" Joe wasn't listening as he grabbed his machinegun and fires at the two. They get behind the nearest wall. Kitty: "Alright Dudley. Let's show this guy what we're made of." Dudley: "Right Kitty!" When they reappear, they see Joe releasing a smoke screen. and he disappears. "Kitty, did you see that!"
While all that was going on, D.O.O.M. was foolishly still there watching the action.
Snaptrap: "This is so good! I've always wondered what happens when T.U.F.F. agents hit each other, instead of us."
Ollie: "More popcorn, boss?"
Snaptrap: "It had better be unsalted!" Larry: "I liked that smokescreen! It makes you think he's disappeared." Then they see that Joe has clearly disappeared. Snaptrap: "Oh come on! I wanted to see him finish them!" Then Joe manages to sneak up from behind as the tank's shadow scares Snaptrap. Joe: (on mic) "Alright, pal, give me one good reason not to turn you into a pile of ashes." Snaptrap: "Okay, okay, here, you can have your donuts back! Just calm down!" Joe pops up from inside. Joe: "That's what I thought." He grabs the donuts and manages to call the Chief. Chief: "There'd better be a good reason for you being late with those donuts! Joe: "Sorry 'bout that. A rat and his gang tried to steal them and THEN a tan cat and a white dog tried to stop me as well. But I managed to take care of them." Chief: "You imbecile!" Joe: "What did I do?"
Chief: "Those were two of my best agents, Agents Puppy and Katswell!" Joe: "They were?" He realizes the mistake. "Oops." *laughs nervously* "I'll...go get them. I kinda destroyed their car as well." Chief: "Well, hurry up then!"
Joe: "I will." He hangs up and starts to talk to himself. "Well, that could've gone better." He closes the hatch just as it starts to rain. Then he hears banging from the underside. He opens a secret door and I'll let you guess who pops up. Joe: "Do I need to explain myself?" Kitty: "We're good." Dudley: "Is he gonna share those donuts?" Joe couldn't help but chuckle. Anyway, they manage to fit and Joe drives straight back to T.U.F.F. They apologize for the poorly timed hit and Joe apologized for his aggressiveness. Whey they reach T.U.F.F., the Chief is there looking angry. Joe: "Uh...I...got the donuts." *nervous grin* The Chief's attitude changed in an instant. Chief: " Yay!" He grabs a donut thus leaving Joe confused but relieved. (with mouthful) "Good work, Agent Nutcase! Now go get yourself aquainted with the rest of the angents pronto!"
Joe: "Fine by me." He was just about to leave then he remembered sonmething."Oh by the way, you might want to hold onto this." He hands over a list that has a bunch of family related terms on it.
Chief: "What's this?" Joe: It's a complete list of words you should never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever times ten to the 17th power ever EVER say while I'm around. They will make me either angry or go insane. Or both." He leaves the Chief on a semisadistic noe. The Chief accidentally lets go of the paper due to a slight breeze. Anyways...Joe joined Kitty and Dudley in the snack room. Joe: "Are you guys mad at me? Cause that would totally make..."
Kitty: "No worries dude."
Joe: "Sorry. I'm not good with introductions." *awkward pause* "So. You're names are...?" Kitty: "I'm Kitty Katswell and this is my partner, Dudley Puppy." Joe: "Nice to see ya. They call me, Joe. And by 'they', I mean myself and cousin Suzie." *awkward silence* "You know what would be nice? A tour of this place." So they explored the rest of T.U.F.F., Joe meets the other agents, 'n stuff. Just then... Chief: "Attention, agents Nutcase, Katswell, and Puppy! Report to my office immediately!" Then as if by magic...
Joe: "Like this?"
Chief: "What the-How'd you get in here?" Joe: "Well, you told me to show up immediately, so I did. And just to let you know you still have the intercom on." The Chief catches himself still standing on the intercom button so he jumps off just as the others showed up.
Dudley: "What's the emergency?"
Chief: "I just got intel that an explosives store was robbed recently. Unfortunately the only clue I have is within this photo." He shows a picture of the building destroyed with the guy we saw earlier walking casually. Joe looks at the guy in the picture with concern.
Joe: (thinking) "Why does that guy look so familiar?" He keeps staring at the picture and notices the guy seems to be smirking. Kitty: "We'll investigate." And with that they all left. That night, Joe was heading home after he had dropped off Kitty and Dudley at their respective places as we finally get a glimpse of Joe's place. We see a normal house with a side view of a common garage to one side. But when he actually parks his tank, we see the other side has a house that looks more like an above ground bunker. Let's get to the point already. He knocks on the front door and someone pops out. Suzie: "Like, where have you been?"
Joe: "Sorry, Cousin Suzie. I was at work today."
Suzie: "So, like, I see the job search went well."
Joe: "Considering all things...I'd say so." Suzie: "Like, what KIND of things?"
Joe: "Uh...nothin'." Suzie could tell that Joe was lying. "Okay, I MAY have destroyed two vehicles today...and it's possible that one of them belonged to my coworkers." Suzie: "Now that, like, sounds more like it." Joe goes inside and does a check of his stuff. An hour or two later...
Joe: *yawns* "I'm going to bed. Good night..." *yawns* "...Suzie." Suzie: "Like..." *yawns* "...whatever." Joe seals the wall that separates the two halves and gets ready for bed.
With Joe now ready for bed, he sets his alarm clock and then falls asleep. As the hours pass, he begins to have nightmares. The nightmare begins with a much younger (say 7) Joe playing in the front yard. Then the house explodes behind him. Joe sees the carnage and then he hears mysterious voices: One man and one woman. Man: "Why couldn't you save us Joey?"
Joe: "Bu...Daddy..."
Woman: "Why didn't you save us?"
Joe: "Mommy?" They keep repeating themselves until we fade back into reality, where Joe is tossing and turning in agony. When he's awakened, he jumps up in fright and grabs hold of a horizontal pipe and shivers in fear. He sees that it was only Suzie. Joe: "Hi...don't mind me...I'm just...clinging onto a pipe." Anyone who knew anything could see that his lie wasn't working. Suzie: "Do I need to ask?"
Joe: "*sighs* "Can it wait 'til morning?" Suzie pulls the blinds up revealing that it is morning. "Ah! Evil sunshine!" He is blinded and falls off the pipe, onto the floor. "Ouch!
Suzie: "Like, shouldn't you be at work right now?" Joe looked at the clock and realized he was going to be late. He dashed into the bathroom and within five seconds was ready to go as he sped off in his tank towards T.U.F.F.