They didn't even seem to notice him.
"Oh common, she's obviously into Clin-" drawled Bucky from his seat on the counter.
"No way!" Sam interrupted him, waving a wooden spoon through the air for emphasis. " I've told you - Clint's already in a relationship."
"Fine," continued Bucky, "how about Banner?"
"That never lifted off. Why can't you just accept that she-"
"Stevie then."
"ME! She likes me! I swear, the look she gave me one time…" Sam trailed of dreamily.
Bucky rolled his eyes. "just because a woman looks at you, birdbrain-"
"You weren't there, terminator!" Sam shot back. "why are you so sure she couldn't find me attractive? Your just jealo-"
"WHAT?!" exclaimed Bucky in disbelief. "Me, jealous? What of? I am WAY better looking than you!"
"Excuse me?!" screeched Sam in outrage.
Steve thought now was about the right time for an intervention, before Sam brought the spoon down sharply on Bucky's head. He cleared his throat.
"Hey guys." He said cautiously.
Sam immediately span around. "Stevie, tell your psycho friend that I'm far more charming, handsome and sophisticated than he can even dream of being."
Bucky waved a cheerful greeting from his perch. "Hey Stevie! Good day?"
Steve sighed wearily. "It was before I came home. What is this even about?"
"Sam thinks Nat fancies him." supplied Bucky helpfully, hopping off the counter to give Steve a hug. "I'm just trying to show him he is wrong so he won't make an idiot of himself."
Sam looked at Steve expectantly for support. "Erm…" said Steve, running his hand awkwardly through his hair. He hadn't been paying much attention to Nat's love life recently. "I suppose she might…?" he said with a little shrug. In truth, he thought it quite unlikely, but didn't want to upset Sam.
"Thank you!" cried Sam triumphantly. "she's always flirting with me, you know." He added with a grin.
Bucky snorted derisively. "She flirts with EVERYONE." He scoffed. "She even winked at ME yesterday, and asked if I had any plans for the weekend."
"WHAT?!" yelped Sam. "no way, your just making that up!"
"Nope!" replied Bucky, popping the p.
As Sam prepared to run at Bucky with a nearby carving knife, Steve said "guys, why don't you just ask her who she finds more attractive?"
They both blinked at him in astonishment. "Are you insane?" asked Sam in a hushed voice.
"Well, just ask her out then." said Steve defensively, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"Yes, he is insane." said Bucky to Sam decisively, who nodded in agreement.
"Very well, then." began Steve sensibly. "How about this? Tomorrow, we go out shopping with the others. Whoever is on best terms with her by the end of the day wins. I guarantee it will be neither of you."
"Your on." said Bucky, narrowing his eyes at Sam. "that'll wipe the smug smile off his face."
"I look forward to it." Sam told Steve after a brief death-glare at Bucky.
"Great!" said Steve, flopping down on the couch in front of the TV "Now sit down and shut up – Mary Berry will be on soon."