I never expected to find myself here. Lying sprawled on my floor, the tile frigid against my heated skin. A stark contrast from the cool crimson liquid running thin across my wrist. I finally understand what Lissa had meant. The feeling was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Pain followed by blissful release, comparable to that experienced as a result of a vampire's bite. Lissa. My sister. My best friend. I was supposed to be the strong one. I smirk at life's cruel irony. I suppose our roles have been reversed. My foggy mind weak as my essence cascades unceremoniously onto the clinical white tile, I slowly encompass the reason I am in this situation. "Love fades. Mine has."
Flashback:
My heart wrenched, sharp pain blossomed from within my chest. My vision faded. Everything was black. I could sense the darkness threatening to consume my being. Irrational anger flooded my core. I bolted from the prison, tearing across Court grounds with my head hung low, voluminous chocolate locks masking the extent of my sorrow as it manifests on my flushed cheeks. I sprinted towards my bedroom. Upon entering, I slam the door and scream. A broken wail echoes throughout the room. I could feel the rage pulsing through my veins, taking control of my body. I was on autopilot. I sprinted into my adjoining bathroom, locking the door behind me. Before I could process my actions I swiped the razor from my shelf and smashed to plastic concealing the blades and removed them. Taking one in my hand, I fondly regarded my salvation then slashed my wrist. Big cuts little cuts, deep cuts, shallow cuts. I lost track of how many. My blind rage rendering me incapable of halting the vicious attack on my once unmarred and tan skin.
The last remaining bits of adrenaline vanished as I soaked in the magnitude of what I had done. I was ghostly pale now. Resembling the nearly translucent shade of death the strigoi bear. Death. A spark of fear ignited from within. Did I want to die? No. Absolutely not, right? A sardonic laugh escaped my plump lips, blue-tinged from blood loss. Maybe I was better off dead. What really was left for me? There was no chance in hell that I would ever be Lissa's guardian. Lissa had Christian and Dimitri made it perfectly clear that the minuscule piece of his heart that cared for me had long since shriveled up. Adrian would find another girl who could give him her whole heart, not just a piece like I could. My tears had long since dried, replaced by a hollow numbness. The darkness began to fade, leaving a dull ache throughout my body. I peered down at my blood soaked blouse and black skinny jeans. The realization dawned on me. I was going to die here. A knock sounded on the , are you in there?" Lissa's voice
Rose, are you in there?" Lissa's voice angelic in my demonic haze. She was always the light. Beautiful, radiant, fair, kind and loved by all who accompanied her. However, in this dark moment, the sound resonated dull, a faint hum in the background. I could faintly decipher the sound of the bathroom door as it caved in, relenting under the pressure of the kicking. My vision faded as I was whisked into muscular arms. The last thing I would ever experience in this world was the smell of Dimitri's aftershave.