Needy doesn't know why, but she likes watching Jennifer. Its not a sexual thing -- though if pressed to admit, Needy would admit to finding her best friend attractive -- but more of a jealousy thing. Jennifer is everything that Needy wishes she could be: pretty, popular, well-liked by boys. Jennifer knows what she wants out of life and will quite probably get it because that is the way of the world, to give everything to the pretty and popular girls and save nothing for the rest.
Needy doesn't mind, though, because Jennifer is her friend and she knows that Jennifer will take care of her. They've always taken care of each other, as long as they've known each other. Starting way back in kindergarten when that little brat Jamie Wyncourt stole Needy's cookies at snack time. That had ended with Jennifer in the principal's office, crying her pretty little eyes out because she was getting in trouble and all she'd been trying to do was help someone.
Jennifer's good at that, actually, at getting her way. Always has been and always will be. Needy figures it's another one of those constants of the universe. Sucks for everybody else, but it works for Jennifer. Clearly the solution is to get next to Jennifer, to always be in her life, because if Jennifer ever gets tired of her and tosses her aside then where will Needy be besides outside in the cold looking in?
Needy sighs, propping her elbows on her knees and resting her chin in her hands as she watches Needy and the other girls go through some flag routine that looks entirely too complicated to remember but which they make look easy and effortless. She envies them that, that unconscious grace and beauty. Oh, she's not a completely ugly klutz or anything like that, but these girls make it different. They make life different.
She scans the group when they take a break, her eyes quickly finding Jennifer. How could she not find her? Jennifer's the one still standing in the middle of the group, smiling and laughing and holding court. She tosses her head, flipping her ponytail back over her shoulder with the grace that Needy's long come to identify as uniquely Jennifer's. She catches Needy's gaze and smiles, and for a moment Needy feels like she's actually welcome. A part of the group. That of course fades as soon as Jennifer turns her attention away, but still, it was nice for the moment it lasted.
Needy watches as Jennifer hands her flag off to another girl and heads towards the bleachers. "Hey," her friend calls, climbing up towards her.
"Hey." Needy smiles. "You look awesome out there."
"I always do, don't I?" Jennifer counters, tugging the ponytail holder out and running her fingers through her hair.
Needy just nods slightly before ducking her head. As much as she envies Jennifer her confidence, she doesn't know how to deal with it when it's so up close and personal like that. Needy figures that means it's a good thing she herself is so, well, needy and insecure. She wouldn't know how to be even remotely close to that confident. Sometimes she wishes she could try, but that's what she's got Jennifer for. To be confident for her.
"Hey, a bunch of us are hanging out after practice," Jennifer says. "Gonna go grab a pizza or something like that. You wanna come with?"
That's one thing Needy hates about her best friend, the way Jennifer always tries to include her. She hates it as much as she loves it, because she knows she can never really accept Jennifer's invitations because of what it'll do to Jennifer in the long run. Hell, if she accepts, Jennifer will be getting the cold shoulder by the end of the night and a social pariah by lunchtime tomorrow. The flag girls may tolerate Jennifer being friends with someone as completely uncool as Needy, but even they have their bitchy limits. Needy has no desire to push them and ruin Jen's life.
"No, thanks, I've got homework I still gotta finish," Needy says with a quick shake of her head. "Snag me a slice or two if there's any left after the hogs get through with it." She knows the appetites those girls have after they've been practicing for a couple hours.
Jennifer snorts. "Oh, you're so mean!" she says, laughing. "But I know what you mean. Don't worry, I'll make sure to save you something. Or else I'll get you one of those ridiculously decadent brownies the place has."
"Ooh, even better!" Needy says, allowing herself to feel genuinely happy. "Bring me two? You still owe me for that time last week when I wrote your English essay for you."
"I said I'd pay you back, didn't I?" Jennifer makes a face. "By the way, you know me so well. Nice solid B material. They never would've believed it was me if you'd done it better."
"I know how to write like you," Needy says, stung. She knows Jennifer adores her, but sometimes Jennifer can still be a bitch. "I've been doing it since like fourth grade, you know."
Jennifer tilts her head, looking at Needy. "Oh, you know what I mean," she says, rolling her eyes. "You're just better than I am at that stuff. I'm just saying that if you'd written like you, they'd have known it was really you and not me. But you know how to write like me, so they believed it."
Needy gives Jennifer a small smile. "I'm glad I could help."
Jennifer's about to say something else when one of the girls on the squad yells for her. "Well," she says, rising from her perch. "Gotta go, Needs. Catch you later?"
Needy nods. "And remember," she calls after Jennifer. "Two brownies!"
Jennifer just waves her hand in the air, acknowledging Needy as she hops down and goes back to the squad, taking her flag back from the girl that had been holding it for her.
Needy watches her friend and sighs. Maybe someday she'll be like Jennifer.
Maybe.
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DISCLAIMER: Jennifer's Body belongs to all the people responsible for creating it and most definitely NOT me. Am not profiting whatsoever.