Ogre's Apprentice
By Fumalunga
Donald was nervous. As he trekked through the dark swamp, his golden hair acted as the perfect guide for him. It shone brightly, and it illuminated his path before him. Each squelch through the swamp made him feel more and more like those he despised. Walking through mud, possibly on a river bank…the wrong side of a river bank that they weren't supposed to be on. He scratched his face with a mud covered hand. Great, now he looked even more like a Mexican.
His scowl deepened as caught sight of his place of stay. There was no wall! He had come to this swamp because he had heard of a master wall builder. One who, as it is fabled, wanted to build a ten foot wall around his entire property. He sloughed through the mud another ten meters and knocked lightly on the door.
"Who could it be a' this time o' night?" said an angry Scottish-for-some-reason-I-mean-are-they-making-a-statement-about-scotts voice from inside.
The door swung forward in one massive arc, smacking Donald in the head and making his golden hair, the source of his power, fall away. It was swallowed in seconds by the deep, Mexican-smelling mud. Donald turned and prepared to have an angry verbal joust with the fuck-tard, only to come face to face with the pants-less ogre.
He leaned nonchalantly in the doorway with his respectable candle hanging out. The "wick" conspicuously dripping as though he had been…doing something. He had a Brittany Spears belly shirt on with no pants. He chewed gum and ate an apple…all the things that they do in movies to make you seem like a a-hole.
Donald swallowed his "you're fired" and took a step back. This was his master? When he had signed up to leave the presidential race and his tv show he hadn't suspected it was a bad idea. He also didn't think it was a bad idea when he paid for a cannon that fired diamonds that exploded into rare albino babies. He was more startled than that gorilla in Cincy when this big, green, naked black baby fell into his pen.
"You must be mah apprentice!" The Ogre smirked. This was gonna be fun.