[Disclaimer] I've come to the conclusion that by now, you should I know I don't own Angel
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[A/N] Just another one of my fluffy fics. Really short, but the idea came to me and wouldn't go away... dont you hate when your brain does that? I used to have this fic up before, but I took it down and improved it a little :-) I hope you enjoy!
Perfect.
Just perfect.
How stupid could I be? Thinking of confessing my love to Cordelia. Thinking that maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way. That maybe we could over look the office romance, and maybe we could forget the whole curse thing. I scowl for a moment before sitting down in my 'brooding chair', as Cordy so eloquently puts it. Maybe I am destined to be alone. Maybe this is my punishment for being so horrible in the days long ago. I guess I'm supposed to walk around for the rest of my life alone. A small whine from the crib in to corner makes me smile. Maybe not completely alone. I smile as I think of the irony of this whole subject. If someone had told me 3 years ago that I would be brooding over Cordelia, I'd laugh. Well, actually, my scowl wouldn't be as intense for a few moments. Laughing wasn't something I did back then. Laughing wasn't something I haven't done until recently, actually.
I remember the day when I first saw her in L.A.... we kind of adopted each other. We were both alone, both of us searching for that little piece Sunnydale. Both of us had left after graduation. Trying for a new start. In Sunnydale, we were both part of the Scooby Group, but both outcasts. Outcasted from the outcasts. We were so different, but had so much in common. We needed each other more than we liked to admit, but time has it's way of pulling people together, and eventually I found myself enjoying the time I spent with Cordelia Chase. After Doyle died, it was so hard on us both. I think in that time frame, I realized more than ever, how dependant I was on these people. The death hit us pretty hard, but I leaned on her, and she leaned on me, and we turned out ok. Wes showed up, and we accepted him in with open arms. Another Scooby outcast, the ex watcher earned our trust and our friendship. Im proud to say I know him. He really is a true friend.
Well, here I am, with the closest thing to family I've had in a long time. The first girl I've loved since Buffy is downstairs. Not with me. Never with me.
I couldn't give her a good life. Not one she deserves. She deserves a normal life. A normal boyfriend. She deserves the stars, honestly. All the pain she went through because of me. The visions were killing her and because of me. She's half demon. She can never be normal again, because of me. How can I imagine even trying to give her a normal life. She deserves Groo. He's probably the closest thing to a normal life she'll have...aside from that whole he's as smart as a brick thing. Doesn't matter. Looks like the better man won.
No.
The only man won. I'm not a man at all. Just a monster, trapped in a man's body. Trying to be something I'm not. I don't know where they got the whole champion thing. I'm no champion. Im a demon who did some terrible things in the past, and now I have to make up for it. Wes is a champion. Cordy, a champion. Gunn and Fred and Lorne, are champions. Me?
I don't think so.
My thoughts...well, brooding, is interrupted by my door opening. I turned a see Cordelia standing in the doorway.
"Angel."
I look at her for a moment, then, after a beat: "Cordelia."
She moves towards me and stops a few feet in front of my chair. "Just wanted to see how you were doing."
"Great. I thought you were leaving, with Groo?"
"Yeah. I am. I just wanted to say goodbye...and, thanks."
"For?"
"Everything."
I smile at her, and she smiles back.
"How do I look?" She asks, spinning in a slow circle. I just smile at her. She looks beautiful, and she doesn't even know it. "Angel?"
"You look...perfect." I whisper with a forced smile, "Just perfect."