A/N: I wrote this as a belated gift for Ewa (white-little-devil). Thank you Franzi (soligblomma) for checking it for me!
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Regina places her hands carefully on the lid of the open chest, applying pressure to the hard wood to finally close it. It doesn't work.
She sighs, a heavy uncontrolled release of air, because she tried to pack everything in the last moment and now she regrets it. She's exhausted, spent most of her morning in a riding lesson with Daniel until her mother shouted that they were leaving in an hour. Cora went inside the house again, but Regina kept riding and talking with her boyfriend, because she's leaving with her family for two weeks and even a few hours away from him sound like torture. She wanted to spend as much time with him as she could before the family vacation that she dreads. Not that she fears anything dangerous or devastating will happen during their time away, but her mother has been very insistent on finding a husband for Regina lately and the young woman has a feeling she'll meet several "options" during their stay at their summer residence.
Her mother shouted her name again when Regina was about to make her horse jump over a hurdle. Regina held the reigns tightly in her hands and maneuvered them accordingly, getting Rocinante to a halt right after all four of his horseshoes touched the ground. Pleased with herself, she gave Daniel a tiny smile while getting off the horse, and passed him the reigns, making sure her mother had already gotten back inside and couldn't see the loving look her secret boyfriend answered her with.
Regina packed her things in a rush, and here she is now, riding outfit abandoned at the edge of her bed, corset half tied, and hair disheveled in an attempt to loosen her braid and make her hair look like her mother likes it. Her skin is sweaty all over, making the clean fabric of her inner skirt damp every time she moves her legs. Grunts are leaving her throat as she tries to squeeze summer dresses – too fancy for her taste – and more corsets than she would use if her mother wasn't there to nag her about looking like "a proper lady". She scoffs as she realizes how un-ladylike she must look right now and she hopes no one enters her bedroom until she's ready.
She straightens up and considers her options. She could leave some of the clothes behind, which would result in her mother being frustrated with her. She could keep trying to close the chest, but she would have to find a way to do it quickly, because she can already hear Daniel and one of the servants adjusting the reigns to the family-sized carriage.
There's only one way to do it. She moves to the door and peeks her head out. She doesn't see anyone in the hallway. She closes the door as quietly as she can and walks to the open chest. She turns her back to it, takes a deep breath and situates herself gently on the lid of the chest. Her body weight presses the lid down and her fingers clutch its delicate designs. She reaches under her knees, pushing the lock of the chest in place.
Her breath of relief is cut short when her mother enters the room without notice. Regina jumps at the sound of the door opening and as her heart beats fast she wonders if she'll ever stop having the same reaction to every sudden noise.
"What are you doing?" Cora asks, looking at her suspiciously.
"I just finished packing," Regina says, smiling sheepishly at her mother.
"You can unpack. You won't leave with us," her mother says, and it takes Regina a moment to realize what her words mean.
"Why?" Regina asks, a confused frown appearing on her face as panic unsettles her stomach.
"An animal healer is going to arrive the day after tomorrow to examine our two oldest horses. A horse trader is going to be in the nearest town in a week from now and that's the perfect opportunity to renew our trusty steeds. You are to stay here and supervise the examination and the trade," Cora says.
Regina blinks a few times, her mother's words sounding distant as she can hear her frantic heartbeat pounding in her ears.
"Mother, are you sure you want me to do that?" Regina asks, trying to hide the apprehension in her voice.
"Absolutely," her mother replies confidently. You've been trained for years to become a queen, Regina. It's time that you proved you're capable of it. Tending to your favorite animals and being in charge of the trade will be the beginning of it."
There's finality in Cora's tone and Regina can only reply positively. She knows better than to deny her mother's wishes and her mind slowly becomes occupied by the fact that if she stays she can have time alone with Daniel, something she didn't think would happen at all for the next few weeks.
The carriage is ready and Regina says goodbye to her parents at the doorstep.
"Do not disappoint me," her mother tells her before she disappears behind the curtain of the coach.
Regina exchanges one last smile with her father and then they're gone, leaving her with a sinking feeling of uncertainty and fear growing in her chest.
She knows she should be grateful that she'll get to spend time with her boyfriend, but handling an adult situation? One she's never handled before on her own? That's something new to her. Something she's not sure she's ready to experience.
"How's my favorite lady doing?"
Having been lost in her thoughts, Regina squeals as she hears Daniel's voice behind her. She turns to look at him and smiles when their eyes lock.
"I didn't mean to scare you," Daniel says with a gentle tone that makes her melt.
"It's alright," Regina answers.
"Are you alright?" Daniel – her sweet Daniel – asks, and the affection she feels for him suddenly overwhelms her. They've already spent so much time together, even if it was mostly riding horses, that he knows her quite well. It dawns on her that he might know her better than her own mother does.
"No, I'm not alright," Regina says, letting an imperceptible sigh escape her lips and looking down, focusing in expressing her thoughts. "My mother wanted me to stay here to be in charge of the horse trade… I'm afraid I'll disappoint her. And I almost want to disappoint her, because that will make her think I need additional education and I could steal some time to escape a life I've never wanted to have," Regina finishes softly, and looks up into Daniel's eyes only to find admiration and trust.
A warm smile adorns Daniel's face, and Regina can't help but smile at him in return.
"Your mother informed me that the animal healer will be here in two days, so how about we go for a ride now? It will help you relax. And you can prepare for everything tomorrow," Daniel says.
"That sounds nice," Regina says, her smile widening at the thought of an entire evening with him.
She goes to her bedroom to change into one of her riding outfits again. She freezes when she enters; her sweaty riding outfit is still on her bed and she left several garments on the floor when she hurriedly prepared her chest.
Regina takes her time to sort everything out. She tries excessively to make her bed look presentable, changing the sheets and the covers to remove the smell of sweat and the damp stain her outfit has left, and straightening the pillow cases. She stands beside her bed, checking it for any imperfections, and she frowns as she wonders why she has to make sure her bed is tidy and fresh while she could be spending all this time with her boyfriend instead. Her eyes widen and a blush covers her cheeks when Daniel comes to her mind.
Daniel.
Her affectionate, grown up, handsome boyfriend. They usually exchange a few chaste kisses and gentle touches when they're away from the house, during breaks from riding, or when Regina manages to sneak into the stables for a few minutes, but they haven't done anything else physical. Regina's heart flutters at the thought of being intimate with the man she loves. They've been together for half a year now and her breath catches in her throat when she thinks about the consequences they would have to deal with if her mother or anyone else found out that she did something like that with the stable boy.
Maybe they should wait.
Regina chooses another riding outfit – brown trousers and a thin dark blue coat. She wraps a beige scarf around her neck, mostly to cover her exposed skin since she's wearing nothing but a sleeveless top, a tiny piece of garment, underneath her riding coat. The summer weather is warm and comfortable, so she doesn't need to wear a lot of layers. Besides, if anything were to happen with Daniel… She begins thinking about it, but forces herself to stop. Nothing will happen tonight.
Their horse riding session is indeed relaxing. Regina feels more carefree than she has felt for a long time. She brought a picnic blanket and a few pieces of pie with her, and she finds herself sitting on the blanket beside Daniel, enjoying his company and the accidental brushes of his arm against hers.
The sun is low on the sky and even though they're not far from the house, they have to get going. Regina tells that to Daniel as she sits on her heels, ready to stand.
Daniel's hand reaches for hers and pulls her gently back down. Regina looks stunned for a second until she lets herself relax. She turns her head to look at him and their eyes lock, blue piercing into brown. Her hand is still wrapped in his, and his fingers are drawing lazy circles against the skin of her palm. The position of her body changed when she sat down again, and now her knee is digging firmly into Daniel's thigh. For a moment she is concerned about hurting him, but he doesn't seem to mind.
Daniel brings his other hand up to her face and strokes her cheek. He is looking at her so intensely that Regina has to look down self-consciously, the familiar blush returning to color her face.
Daniel chuckles and Regina frowns.
"What?"
"You look cute, that's all," he says, and she tries to look annoyed, but all she manages is to unsuccessfully hide her grin as she bites her lower lip.
In the next moment Daniel's mouth is on hers, pecking her upper lip a few times, and then sucking on it. Regina moves her lips against his slowly, a small gasp getting drowned in her throat as he brushes the opening between her lips with his tongue and seeks entrance. That's new. Regina opens her mouth slightly, willingly letting him lead the light kiss and make it more heated. Daniel's tongue swirls against hers and she's just enjoying the feel of him for a few seconds, wondering if she should move her own tongue as well. She decides to try, and it's probably the right thing to do, because Daniel lets out a grunt of approval the moment her tongue begins dancing around his.
Soon they break the kiss in need of air. Only then does Regina realize that she has been craning her neck in a weird angle and now it's a bit sore, but she doesn't care. Their faces remain close as they're panting, trying to control their breathing.
"We really need to go," Regina says, her reluctance evident in her voice.
When they finally reach the house the sun is almost kissing the horizon, sending lovely colors to the Earth and making everything look magical.
Regina goes into the house as Daniel takes care of the horses. Their separation isn't for long because Regina has invited him into her bedroom and he gladly accepted.
That's why he ends up climbing through her window late at night when all the servants are sound asleep.
Regina is sitting on her bed, waiting for him. She giggles as Daniel stumbles on his feet, and teases him about managing to climb all the way up, but almost falling when he got inside the room. He gives her the sweetest of smiles, not ashamed at all by his clumsiness. His eyes rake over her body, drinking her in, and she feels a rush of excitement along with a dose of fear.
Regina has gotten rid of her riding outfit and replaced it with a long lacy nightgown over her tiny top. Daniel is still dressed simply, brown trousers and a plain white shirt, but he's clean and fresh, his unique scent that Regina loves so much invading her senses.
Regina stands up and each of them takes a few steps until they're close enough for an embrace. Regina sighs against Daniel's chest and relishes the feeling of having him all to herself when no one else is there to interrupt them. Thoughts of her mother and the responsibilities she has to take the next few days vanish from her head and all she can feel is him, his strong body, the light touch of his fingertips on her back, the small kisses he leaves on her hairline…
Daniel shifts a little, still holding her, and Regina realizes something hard was pressing on her thigh before he moved to leave some space between their bodies. Regina thinks her gasp is audible, but she doesn't have time to feel embarrassed, because she's wondering how her skin would feel if it was flush against his, and before she knows it, she is unwrapping her arms from around his neck and pulling at his shirt. She takes the garment out of his trousers, and Daniel hisses at the contact of her cool knuckles against his stomach. He doesn't let her continue touching him. He takes her wrists in his hands and massaging them gently, he keeps them away from his body.
"Regina, what are you doing?" he asks her after a few seconds of silence.
"I thought…" Regina begins, suddenly feeling a knot at the back of her throat and not knowing how to say what she wants to say. "Don't you want me?" she asks unsurely.
Daniel gives her a smile which she finds infuriating and endearing at the same time.
"Of course I want you. But not tonight, not like this. I want to cherish you, Regina, and that won't happen in a stolen night. We'll make it happen when the time is right, when we can tell the world that I'm yours and you're mine."
Regina looks at him skeptically. She knows he's right. Those exact thoughts stopped her earlier, but when she has him in front of her it's different. She finds it hard to control herself and that terrifies her.
"Okay," she ends up whispering.
"We'll have other chances, countless of them," Daniel says, and his words are a warm reassurance to Regina, but they can't shake the uneasy feeling she has in her heart when she thinks about their impossible future.
That night they both sleep on Regina's bed. Daniel doesn't loosen his hold on her until the break of dawn and Regina wakes up with a content smile on her face after the most peaceful sleep she remembers ever having.
Months go by, the seasons change, but they never get another chance.
And as Regina lies on a cold bed – the feel of the sheets as foreign on her skin as the body of the man who just got off of her, leaving her with legs open and numb – with warm blood oozing from within her, mixing with a thick white liquid she has never seen before, she wishes for the tears to stop, the pain to go away, and her sweet Daniel to come back and hold her.