Finally, I am back with another AoKaga story! Is it celebration time? Eh, it'll depend on whether you'll like it another. I believe this is my third AoKaga story I've written, along with My Savior My Angel and I See You. It's been a while since I've written this pairing and I really hope you like this.
Like always, I based this illness off dementia, which is the act of losing one's memory, so if I've written anything that might offend you or not make sense, I apologize in advance.
Check out some of my new stories I've posted, Limelight and The Icelandic Word for Goodbye, which are both MidoTaka and are kind of sad. Hopefully, it'll catch your attention and like it, and there are obviously other stories that I've written that you can read as well if it appeals to you.
I have been very scarce on my updating lately, but that's because I've been having problems with writing, you know, having no motivation for it and whatnot, but hopefully after this, I'll get back to the series I've been putting on hold for a while. I think I might start with A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words but I have no clue. It'll depend on whether my mind will be up for it.
In any case, i hope you like this story and don't forget to review!
So, without further ado, here is the story!
NOTE
Dementia: a chronic or persistent disorder of the mental processes caused by brain disease or injury and marked by memory disorders, personality changes, and impaired reasoning.
While the story does mention this, the illness is only based off it, but if there is anything that might offend you later on, I apologize sincerely for it.
"What do you remember?" A navy haired man with tan skin, tone muscles, and a serious look asks to the man lying on the bed covered with white sheets. The man with blazing red hair and even brighter red eyes, currently sitting upright with his legs covered with the bed sheet, looks at the man located next to him with a blank look.
"Time frame?" The red-haired man says.
"Anything you remember."
"You're going to have to stay here for a long time then. Don't you have school tomorrow, Aomine?" The man laying on the bed asks and Aomine, the companion beside him, heaves a sigh of relief.
"So, we're still okay? Kagami, you still remember everything?" Aomine asks, his hand on his heart, silently willing it to beat slower for the sake of his mental health.
Kagami nods. "Well, everything I'm supposed to, at least. To be honest, I still don't know why I'm here. It was just a headache."
Aomine gives him a hard look and grabs the sheets next to Kagami's hand just limply there. "The doctors said it was more than that. Doctors are never wrong."
"You don't know that, Aomine. Doctors aren't perfect. Have some hope, will you?" Kagami replies with an angelic smile. Aomine bites the inside of his mouth to any retorting words from coming out. Kagami still believes he's okay. Aomine believes more realistically, more harshly.
"I'll have hope the moment the doctors tell us you're going to be okay." Aomine instead says, holding back the insult he was thinking of. "Tell me Kagami, what do you remember?"
"I can't keep giving you the same answer, Aomine. I wouldn't want to bore you to death." Kagami chuckles yet Aomine can't smile back.
"It's okay. You can tell me anything."
"Then give me a time frame. Which part of my life up to this moment do you want to hear?"
Aomine stays silent for a moment. Then, "tell me what you did yesterday, before and after I left."
Kagami takes a moment to think. "I remember that for breakfast, I had some nasty hospital food; it kind of looked like oatmeal I had in the States but it was murkier, with some chunks of pineapple for some reason. It didn't sit well with my stomach so I had to go to the bathroom and when I came back, I had a nurse tell me I had some visitors. It was Kuroko, who must have skipped first period to see me. I was going to scold him but he gave the look of, are you really the type of person to scold someone for this? and I couldn't say anything after that." He laughs wholeheartedly at the memory.
Aomine needs more. "What else? What did you do after I left?"
"I watched the NBAs on television. It was the finals and I remember having to keep my voice down because I was cheering too loudly and I was waking up the elderly next door to me. The nurse looked really pissed at me when she came into my room for the fifth time." Kagami begins to chuckle. "She even threatened to take the television away if I didn't keep quiet." He looks at Aomine expectedly. "Is that all you need?"
It is. It should be. Everything Kagami is saying, all the detail he is pouring for something as simple as a breakfast meal just to make Aomine's worry lessen, should be enough. It should be enough for Aomine to sigh in relief one more time, take his gripping hand off his chest, and give Kagami a smile that would make both of them hope.
But for some reason, Aomine can't stay calm. He looks at Kagami with unreadable eyes, though Kagami notes that it looks like Aomine is trying his hardest not to cry, and the navy haired man asks, "do you remember our conversation from yesterday?"
At that, Kagami's tranquil chuckles evolves into a heartfelt laugh. "Please, the only thing we did was scream insults at each other."
The carefree mood surrounding Kagami while he remembers the stupidity of their conversations makes the doubt in Aomine's gut dissipate. He finally smiles and Kagami makes sure to engrave that in his mind for future purposes.
"Good. You better not forget these conversations, Bakagami."
Forget. The one word Aomine dreads to hear, much less say. Kagami grows silent, the smile on his features slowly leaving and being replaced with solemnity.
"I won't forget." Kagami states, his hand reaching for Aomine's that had been placed tightly on his heart. Kagami gives him a long, hard look, silently begging him to have hope.
Hope. the other word Aomine hates to hear. It's like hope is telling him that he should give it up as soon as possible. That no matter how much hope one can have, it will never change the future. Suddenly, Aomine wants to leave.
"I'll come back tomorrow." Aomine says abruptly, desperately wanting to be alone.
Kagami grabs his wrist before he can move. "Don't. There's still some time before visiting hours are over."
Aomine doesn't look at the red head. He can feel those begging eyes drilling into his soul. "I have to go." He forces out.
"For what?" Kagami asks and to Aomine's ears, it sounds like a puppy's whine for attention.
"I just have to. Kagami, let me go."
Kagami doesn't let go. Instead, he grips harder and asks, "Do you not believe me when I say I'll be okay? I'm going to be okay, Aomine."
Aomine turns around to face Kagami, his anger coming to a boil. "You heard what the doctors said, you idiot. You're not going to be okay, no matter how much we hope for it. You're not going to be okay." Aomine emphasizes coldly and the hand gripping Aomine's wrist loosens to the point where Kagami's hand drops limply beside the bedrail.
Aomine regrets his words immediately when he hears a bullet piercing through glass and its shards falling to the ground. "Kagami, I —"
Blue eyes are met with a sun-shattering smile. Aomine doesn't understand. "There's still hope, though. Aomine. There's always hope. The doctors may have said that I might not have a chance but I still have hope that everything will be okay." Aomine bites his lip as Kagami puts his hand back to the bed, no longer limp. "I'll be okay."
Okay, okay, okay. It seems Kagami can only use those words; maybe he believes that that word is the only one that will calm Aomine's beating heart. Maybe he thinks that if he says it as much as he can, it will truly happen. Kagami's wrong, so heart wrenchingly wrong, but Aomine doesn't want to correct him and give the guy more despair than both of them want to admit. At this point, Aomine really just wants to leave.
"I'll come tomorrow." Aomine says gruffly and leaves before he can hear Kagami say anything that might break his heart.
Unfortunately, he can't escape the feeling today as well.
"You know, you could say it too sometimes, Aomine. Tell me everything will be okay." Kagami mutters under his breath but it's loud enough for Aomine to hear.
He feels the shattering of glass inside him yet again, and now he dreads to spend the entire night picking it up and mending it back together again.
It's been five days since Kagami was admitted to the hospital.
"What do you remember?" Aomine asks as he settles into his seat.
Kagami sighs but still replies, "time-frame?"
"Whatever you want to tell me. Is there a specific thing you remember?"
Kagami taps his chin for a few seconds, his face filled with thought. The amount of time it takes for Kagami to reply is long, making Aomine's heart beat a little bit faster. But then, just as Aomine is about to fear the worst, Kagami smiles with warmth that Aomine loves to see and feel. "I remember the first time we met." He says light-heartedly.
It's an unexpected answer coming from the red head. Aomine stares at him in confusion. "What?"
"I remember the first time we met. Man, you were such a dick back then." Kagami says with a laugh and stretches his arms to settle into a more comfortable position. Aomine continues to stare at Kagami and the red head pokes his cheek to get rid of the blank look.
"What? Did you think I was going to say something weird?" Kagami asks and Aomine shakes himself from the confusion.
"No, I just didn't expect that to be your answer." Aomine says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, and Kagami smiles once more.
"But yeah, I remember when we first met. You were a jackass who thought so much better than yourself. You even challenged me to a one-on-one even though I was injured."
"Midorima did a number on you, didn't he?" Aomine contributes, remembering the faithful day where Kagami and Aomine first met.
The red head nods. "There was only so much of myself I could exceed. Midorima, that bastard, just kept going, so I needed to as well. He had that look, you know? The look of I'm going to beat you no matter what. Who wouldn't get fired up from that?"
"But you were an idiot and ended up barely being able to walk." Aomine points out but Kagami merely shrugs.
"It was for the team. For them, I would do anything." He replies and suddenly winces, his right eye twitching and his hands clenching from the pain. Aomine stands in panic.
"Kagami, are you okay?" Aomine asks quickly and because of the sudden pain, Kagami can't say a word. But the moment soon passes and he smiles tiredly at Aomine.
"I'm fine. Don't worry." Kagami reassures but the tone of his voice says differently. It almost sounds drained.
Aomine wants to elaborate but the look in Kagami's eyes refrains him from speaking about it any further. Instead, he asks the red head a confirmation question. A question that will tell him if Kagami has begun to forget everything they've made together. "What else do you remember from that day?"
Kagami stays quiet for a second. Then, "Well, I was completely ambushed by your skill. You told me that my light wasn't bright enough to be partners with Kuroko. I hated you so much back then. I wanted to beat you so badly but even then, I knew that even if my legs weren't injured, in terms of skill, I was lacking so much."
"Wait, did I really say that?" Aomine stops Kagami and gives him a surprised, almost hurt look. Kagami sees a lost puppy wanting support from its master.
He laughs. "You don't remember? Damn, maybe it should be you lying here."
"Kagami," Aomine warns, his voice serious enough to make Kagami's smiling features leave his face, "this isn't a joke. Stop trying to make this into one."
Kagami sighs and while the smile returns to his features, Aomine sees a ping of sadness. "I never said I was, Aomine."
The blue head decides to get back to the topic before his heart can't bear it anymore. "So, did I really say that?"
"Obviously." Kagami starts once more. "You told me, while you were running past me to make another stupid basket, that my light would never surpass yours and I wasn't good enough for Kuroko. I was frustrated out of my mind after you left me completely defeated. It was to the point where I thought to myself, if I were just bit stronger. I myself was a cocky bastard before I met you, so I never thought my strength was lacking. But after meeting you, I knew I had to change."
"Sorry." Aomine says quietly but Kagami smacks him on the head, making Aomine jump out of his stupor. "What the hell, Kagami? What was that for?" He yells as he rubs the back of his head.
Kagami harrumphs. "Ahomine, why the hell are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong. Actually, it was because of your words that I could improve in the first place. There's nothing to apologize for."
"I was still a jackass." Aomine points out.
"Maybe. But when are you never?" Kagami retorts and chuckles when Aomine pretends to be offended by his words.
The man lying on the bed gets more comfortable, his back sliding and his head falling deeper into the pillows. He looks at the person next to him from the corner of his eye and smiles when he sees Aomine looking at him directly. "But yeah, I remember that moment so clearly. It sparked so many incident after meeting you. It's like you were the catalyst to everything good that happened in my life. I got to meet Kuroko, I got to be in such an amazing basketball team, and I got to improve so much."
For some reason, Aomine can hear the unsaid words, before I got this illness. It leaves his fists clenched and shaking.
"And you know what the best part is about meeting you?" Kagami's voice pierces through Aomine's anger. He looks at the red head with curiosity and he sees Kagami's angelic smile.
"What?" Aomine asks, his voice barely audible.
Kagami puts his hand on top of Aomine's clenched fists, as if he knew from the beginning that Aomine heard those unsaid words.
"I got to meet you."
And when Aomine figures out the implied meaning, he closes his eyes, hugs Kagami tightly, and forces himself to run away.
"What do you remember?"
Kagami opens his heavy eyes to see Aomine already there, in his normal seat, looking at him expectedly. His head hurts so much.
Instead of voicing the pain, however, he replies, "time-frame?"
Aomine, knowing Kagami's eyes so well, just like the back of his own hand, and his voice even more so, sees and hears the pain Kagami is desperately wanting to hide.
There it is. The first sign. Aomine's heart begins beating so loudly, he's afraid Kagami and the rest of the patients in the ward can hear it.
"Do you remember what happened before you got admitted?" Aomine asks cautiously, silently begging Kagami to give him a straightforward answer. Maybe even a detailed one if both of them get greedy.
Kagami closes his eyes as another sharp dagger pierces through his brain. He can't help but grab his head from the jabs and his hand clenches, as if he wants to crush his own skull. Aomine moves quickly, removing Kagami's hand and replacing it with his own. He begins massaging the sides of Kagami's forehead and they stay like that for a few minutes until Kagami finally stops him and tells him to sit down again.
"Thanks. I'm okay now."
Okay. There's that word again. The word Aomine hates to hear from Kagami's mouth.
"Are you sure?" Aomine asks carefully and Kagami nods with a fatigued smile. His eyes are tired, his eye bags more prominent than before, as if he hadn't slept for some time now, and it almost looks like Kagami is losing some weight now. There's more than worry and doubt coursing through Aomine's mind; now, there's anguish and even agony for what the future might contain.
"Should I call a nurse?" Aomine asks, just in case they have anything to help him.
Kagami closes his eyes. "They gave me some painkillers a few minutes before you came. It'll be okay now. Don't worry about me." Kagami's voice has begun to crack, his voice getting hoarser, almost like he's losing his voice.
Aomine doesn't take that advice at all. The two stay quiet for a moment, an awkward atmosphere filling the room. Then, Aomine breaks it by going back to his previous question.
"So, can you remember what happened?"
Kagami winces one more time, which makes Aomine freeze, but then he sighs. "It's not a memory I want to remember."
"Please. It's for both our sakes. We both need to know if it's begun." Aomine pleads, silently hating himself for even mentioning Kagami's illness, and Kagami places his hand on top of Aomine's.
"Don't worry. It hasn't. Not yet, at least." Kagami says before sighing once more. "I remember we were playing our regular one-on-one, and you were kicking my ass as always." Kagami smacks Aomine's head when he sees him make a triumphant smile.
"What? Can't a guy show off once in a while?" Aomine says innocently and Kagami smacks him one more time.
"Shut up, Ahomine. I got a few shots in."
"Yeah, sure, if you count 12 to 64 a few shots in." When Kagami sticks his tongue out, Aomine feels like he's walking in heaven.
"It counts. It completely counts. I could've gotten a bit more shots in if it weren't for…" Kagami trails off and Aomine suddenly regrets asking such a question in the first place because the red head beside him looks like he wants to cry.
He places his hand beside Kagami's and Kagami moves his to place it on top of Aomine's callused, tanned hand. " You don't have to recount it, Kagami. It's obvious you remember." Aomine expresses with sorrow.
"Sorry, Aomine." Kagami replies with an equal amount of sadness.
"It's fine. How about you tell me something else? Like, how you met Tetsu?" Aomine changes the topic and for that, Kagami gives him a grateful smile.
"I didn't know him until we went into our gym. Coach was calling out everyone's name, checking their bodies for their stats and whatnot, and we all thought I was the last one. Then, she called out Kuroko's name and everyone screamed when they all saw him standing right in front of the coach, even though everyone swore he wasn't there before."
Aomine chuckles. "That sounds so much like him, Tetsu, that bastard."
Kagami laughs with him. "Since I was a returnee, I didn't know anything about the Generation of Miracles so I was confused out of my mind. My only thought was, how the hell did the guy just suddenly appear out of nowhere?"
"Tetsu used to do that to us as well, back in middle school. Always scared the crap out of me. First time I met him, I thought he was a ghost haunting one of our gyms."
"Well, that perk hasn't changed at all. Just a few days ago, before you visited, he—" Kagami suddenly cuts himself off, and Aomine looks at him confusedly.
"That's so weird." Kagami mutters to himself.
Aomine gets a gut wrenching feeling. "What is?" When the red head doesn't reply, his hand squeezes Kagami's. "Kagami, what's so weird? Answer me."
"No, it's nothing. Just that… I can't seem to remember what he did."
Aomine stands in panic. "Kagami!" He shouts and takes hold of Kagami's shoulders. They face each other and both look so panicked.
"Kagami, no, please tell me you're joking. You're joking, right?" Aomine pleads and Kagami has to peel Aomine's hands from him. He puts a solemn, indifferent face, but Aomine can see just how terrified he is.
"Aomine, stop panicking. I'm okay. Look, it was a few days ago, and there's been so much happening, okay? Normal people forget all the time, there's no such thing as a perfect memory. Aomine, it was just a few days ago." Kagami tries to reassure the navy haired man beside him but Aomine can't take that for an answer. He refuses to.
"That means nothing." Aomine spits out. "You could still remember how we met and that was months ago. Why can't you remember a few days?" He tries to put his hands back to Kagami's shoulders and for a few minutes, the two wrestle.
Then, "I remember! I remember now!" Kagami screams and Aomine stops jostling him. They're face to face, looking at each other deeply, and Aomine waits for his answer.
"He came to give me homework. But when he came in, I was singing."
Aomine chokes on his spit, not expecting that kind of response at all. "Singing? You were singing?" He asks twice, unable to believe his ears. Kagami flushes from embarrassment.
"What of it? It's not uncommon for people to sing." Kagami immediately retorts.
"Yeah, okay, whatever." Aomine replies but his tone makes it more teasing "What else?"
"He was already settled into his seat when I finished the song I was singing. I think it was Can Do, or maybe The Other Self, I don't remember that much." Before Aomine can freak out again, Kagami holds his hand up to stop him. "But, I do remember that as soon as I finished the song, I saw teal hair and I almost jumped two feet. He had a blank face on him but I could tell he was trying his best not to laugh."
Aomine swallows the worry down. Instead, he laughs as truthfully as possible. He's sure Kagami hasn't noticed it. "Damn, Tetsu has persistence. I would bark in laughter until my stomach would hurt."
Kagami hits him on the head. "Shut up, Ahomine. I didn't know Kuroko was there, ok? I didn't expect him to come so early. When I finally saw him, he just greeted me and gave me the homework. I glared at him but he pretended not to notice and then we just talked."
"What did you talk about?" Aomine presses.
Kagami grows silent for a few seconds. Then, "it's a secret."
"A secret?" Aomine barks in disbelief and skepticism. "What do you mean a secret? Were you talking about me or something? Tell me!"
"I'm not telling you something that was specifically for only me and Kuroko, Ahomine." Kagami glares. "Respect some of my privacy, will you? I'm not going to tell you everything about my life just because I may or may not lose my memories. So just leave it."
Aomine glares back with as much intensity. He stands up. "Fine. I overstayed my visit." He walks away from the man laying on the bed. He stops right at the front of door and turns his neck slightly. "I'll come back tomorrow." And with that, the navy haired man leaves.
Kagami heaves a sigh of relief but his hands won't stop shaking under the bed sheets. He doesn't know what he would've done had he told Aomine the truth; that he just can't remember what the conversation was about.
"You liar." Aomine barks as he barges into the room. Kagami startles awake, his tired eyes blinking a several times before finally acknowledging Aomine in the room.
"What?" He asks, confused by the sudden statement.
Aomine glares at him, not even bothering to sit down. "I talked to Tetsu yesterday after leaving the room."
Kagami still looks at him with uncomprehending eyes. "And?"
"What you two talked about. It wasn't even remotely interesting to make it into a secret. Why the hell did you lie to me?" Aomine shouts in anger but that emotion alone isn't enough to rouse Kagami's memory.
"Aomine, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't act as if you don't know, jackass." Aomine goes, his mind too preoccupied to understand the situation. "I asked you yesterday what you and Tetsu talked about before, and you told me it was secret, which is why you couldn't tell me. I talked to Tetsu and he told me that the only thing you talked about was basketball. Who in the world thinks that is remotely worthy enough to be a secret, huh? Do you just not trust me enough?"
"Aomine." Kagami says in a weird voice that Aomine's never heard before. The anger in his veins lessen and he finally looks directly into Kagami's eyes. His breath stops short when he sees the same look Kagami had yesterday, when for a single moment, he just couldn't remember.
"Kagami?" Aomine says hesitantly.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I never talked to Kuroko." Kagami says matter-of-factly, and Aomine's heart stops beating for a few seconds.
"K-Kagami, what do you mean?" Aomine stutters. "You're the one who told me you talked to him yesterday, before I had visited."
Kagami shakes his head. "I never talked to anyone before you. I think you got the date wrong."
Aomine imitates Kagami's action. "No, Tetsu even told me. He said that he went to your room before I did, and you guys talked about basketball, how Seirin was doing." When Kagami doesn't get rid of the blank stare, Aomine grabs the helm of Kagami's shirt and starts shaking him vigorously.
"Kagami, you have to remember!"
The red head, in a heap of panic, roughly slaps Aomine's hands to make them let go. Aomine looks at his stinging hands and then at Kagami, who is taking deep breaths.
"Kagami, please try to remember. It can't start now. Please, just try." Aomine begs with his voice slowly cracking and Kagami looks at him desperately, to tell him silently that he is trying, trying so hard to remember, but he just can't.
A few moments of silence pass as Aomine frightfully awaits Kagami's answer.
And when he finally replies, "I don't remember, I'm sorry," Aomine slumps in his seat and buries his head into his hands. He feels Kagami patting him on the back, and for a second Aomine thinks, why the hell are you comforting me?
Aomine lifts his head to meet Kagami's soft eyes but he can see the terror. It's well hidden and to a normal passerby, they would see Kagami as a man who was just having a normal day, but to Aomine, one of the most important people in Kagami's life, he knows. He can see it.
He stops Kagami's hand and that hand goes limp next to him. Kagami sighs as he turns his neck upright, so that his eyes meet the ceiling again.
"So, it's finally starting." Kagami states as he closes his eyes in defeat and it feels as if Aomine's world is crashing. He looks at the red head but with those tired, closed eyes, he can't see the desperate anger coursing through Aomine.
"Don't say it." Aomine states stubbornly, fury practically emitting through those few words.
"You can't avoid something that's so plainly in our view, Aomine. We need to accept it." Kagami replies, not at all fazed by the blue head's tone.
Aomine shakes his head vigorously. "No, no we don't. Maybe it was just an insignificant story that you didn't feel the need to remember. It has to be something like that."
"Aomine…"
"No, don't say it, Kagami. Don't you dare say it. Everything, everything will be okay. That's what you told me, isn't it? What happened to that mentality, huh? What happened to your words? Are you such a coward that you just immediately give up because of such small, insignificant signs?" Aomine says with a determination he only had in basketball courts, and Kagami's mouth shuts for a few moments.
Then, he sighs and places his hand on top of Aomine's, just like always. "You're right. Everything will be okay. We just have to have hope, right?"
The only response Aomine can give is a nod. Kagami notices how Aomine still won't say the word hope and he starts rubbing his eyes from weariness.
"Just… Just give me the question. Start over. Ask me." Kagami finally says after the two soak in the quiet room.
Aomine understands and he complies. "What do you remember?"
"Time frame?"
Aomine hesitates. "Tell me… Tell me what happened before you were hospitalized." Kagami doesn't expect that response and snaps his head to him, his eyes wide.
"But—"
"Please, Kagami. It's one of the more important things that happened to you recently. If you can't remember something as trivial as Kuroko's conversation, then maybe you can remember big things, like what happened. Can you tell me?"
Kagami looks at Aomine to see if he's kidding, and when he doesn't, he sighs but nods. "Fine, that much I can still remember."
Aomine heaves a sigh of relief. He awaits Kagami's voice to fill the silent room.
"We were playing our one-on-one like always, and you were kicking my ass."
"What was our score?" Aomine cuts in, hopefully waiting the same answer as before. But when Kagami doesn't give it, his heart plummets.
"I don't remember." Kagami whispers in despair and Aomine bites the inside of his cheek.
He passes it off as an insignificant thing. "It's ok. That's not the important part. Sorry for interrupting. Keep going."
Kagami peeks at Aomine and sees the eagerness to hear the answer. "And just as I was about to jump for another dump shot, my head started to hurt. It got so bad and intense that I tripped over my own foot and I just couldn't get up. I don't remember what happened during the headache," Aomine takes a sharp intake of breath, "because everything was just so blurry. It was like a hundred knives were piercing through my skull or maybe even a bullet going through it? I don't really know how to describe it, but it was horrible. It was like my body couldn't move."
Kagami stops for a second, shivering on the bed, and Aomine awkwardly pats him on the back. He hates seeing Kagami hurting so much, and it's obvious the memory is too painful for both of them, but he can't help but feel a bit relieved at the amount of detail Kagami is giving him. It somewhat makes it better for Aomine to endure.
"I think I passed out a few minutes later, am I right?" Kagami asks and Aomine nods.
"You were wriggling on the cement for a few minutes before finally stopping. You weren't moving and I was terrified out of my mind. I thought you…"
"It felt that way, too, to be honest."
"But I had called the ambulance just when it had started so they came a few seconds after you stopped moving. They told me you were still breathing and that you just passed out."
Kagami nods, comprehending what had happened. "And yeah, when I woke up, I was in the hospital, in my room, and you were next to me."
Aomine's eyes narrow and Kagami notes it. "Is there something wrong?" He asks, and Aomine jumps slightly.
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine. I just remembered that I had to do something. I'll come back tomorrow." Aomine says as he quickly packs his things and starts for the doorway.
"Wait, Aomine, why are you in such a hurry?" Kagami asks, the hurt tone stopping Aomine right in front of the door. "Was it something I said?"
Aomine shakes his head, though he doesn't turn his head around to see Kagami. "No, it's nothing you said. I just have to go and meet Satsuki. I'll be back tomorrow. Bye, Kagami." And leaves without another explanation.
What Kagami doesn't know is that his words were spot on. Aomine can't tell him that the moment Kagami woke up, Aomine was outside the room, screaming at one of the doctors to tell him, maybe even lie to him, that everything was going to be okay.
"What do you remember?"
"Time-frame?"
"When you were admitted. Can you tell me what happened?"
Kagami makes a face that Aomine knows so well. "Why are you trying to torture yourself? We all know what happened when I got admitted."
Aomine grips his hand on his chest. "I don't care about myself. Just tell me what you remember."
"I remember everything that happened. Can't you give me another time frame? Aomine, I know it'll only hurt you." Kagami replies, trying his hardest to avoid answering the question.
Aomine grows slightly angry. "I already told you I don't care about myself. I just need to know. Tell me. Please."
That last word, the word please, melts Kagami's mouth. He sighs as he starts rubbing his eye, obviously exhausted. "I remember the ruckus you made after I got admitted."
Aomine closes his eyes tightly, trying to separate the image from the narrative. He tries to only focus on Kagami's words but the scenery, the background, the noise and the screaming all vividly come back to him.
"Oh, and Aomine. I found out why you left so early last time." Kagami adds and Aomine looks at him in confusion.
"What?"
"When you left early yesterday, I asked you if it was because of something I said. And you said no." The memory dawns on Aomine.
"I—" Aomine tries to excuse but Kagami stops him.
"It's fine. It doesn't make a difference now. I remember that you weren't next to me when I woke up. You were actually screaming at the doctors while I got locked up in this room. I wanted to run to you and tell you to shut the hell up, that you were disturbing all the other patients, but hell, I wanted to scream as well."
"He's going to be ok, isn't he?" Aomine shouted to the nearest doctor he could see. The doctor put his hands in front of him, to warn Aomine not to come closer.
"I'm sorry, we don't know that yet. We still haven't gotten the results. Sir, please calm down." The doctor tried to say.
Aomine didn't hear what he wanted to hear. He rushed up to the doctor, who was frightened out of his mind. "Tell me he'll be okay!" He screamed.
"I'm sorry, I don't know!"
"Tell me!"
"… They wouldn't let me out until they got the results from the PET scan. They wouldn't let me out until you calmed down. And then the results came in, and now I'm here." Kagami finishes and looks at Aomine cautiously. At the tightly gripped hand, Kagami looks at it pitifully and quietly puts his hand on top of Aomine's. He puts his hand on top of Aomine's heart.
"See, I told you it would hurt you." Kagami says in a whisper, squeezing Aomine's hand.
Aomine takes a deep breath as he tries to will the memory away. He shakes Kagami's hand off him. "I'm fine. I just… I just need a moment." He says as he stands from his seat.
Kagami looks after him, his eyes trailing up and down Aomine's tone back. His eyes narrow for a second, detecting a sudden change. "Aomine, are you playing basketball lately?"
Aomine freezes. Without looking at the red head, Aomine replies, "how did you know?"
"So you're not?" Kagami says and Aomine bites his lip.
"I haven't had time lately." Aomine reluctantly replies.
Kagami has a look of horror as Aomine turns around to meet his eyes. "Aomine, why?"
"What do you mean, why? I just don't have a lot of time lately."
"Is it because of me?" Kagami asks quietly and Aomine doesn't have the heart to say no. He stays silent and that's enough of an answer for Kagami to bury his head in his hands.
"Aomine, I'm not your whole world."
"You might as well be." Aomine grits his teeth as Kagami shakes his head, still not lifting it from his hands. He looks so devastated in that position that Aomine doesn't want to know what his eyes are going to portray.
When Kagami says nothing in return, Aomine continues. "Kagami, you are the only person who was able to bring me out of that pit of nothingness. Basketball is my entire existence and you gave that back to me. How can I not think of you that way?"
"That doesn't mean you can just waste your life like that, Aomine. You should start playing again. I'm not going anywhere any time soon, you know?" Kagami reasons.
"You don't know that." Aomine replies harshly.
Kagami finally lifts his head and Aomine sees his trembling red eyes. "What do you mean?"
Aomine doesn't want to say it. He refuses to say it. But with those trembling eyes, those eyes that still cling onto a hope that might be for nothing, he has to. "Your mind might leave you one day. And I can't just accept the fact that I might be there to help you when that happens."
"Aomine…" Kagami trails off, looking like he wants to say something but not knowing for sure how to say it. Aomine turns around, unable to look at Kagami's face.
"I need to know you're okay everyday. Until you can finally leave this place, I have to come everyday. You don't know know what'll happen." Aomine says, clutching his hand harder to his heart. Kagami stays silent, closing his eyes.
"I'll be okay."
"I'm sorry. There's a big chance that he has dementia. It's in its early stages, thank goodness, but we don't know what will happen." The doctor who had taken Kagami in explained to both of the students.
Aomine and Kagami were silent as they processed the news.
"When will it start? I can still remember everything." Kagami said after a few minutes. He sounded so calm, Aomine wondered for a second whether Kagami was truly surprised by this, but when he saw Kagami's eyes, he could see so clearly that they were trembling.
"It will depend. Some take about a few weeks, some a few months. Others start the moment the headaches go away. We just have to see."
"So, I'm just going to stay here until I start to forget?"
"Or when we can see your brain positively changing back to normal. It's not common, very rare if I have to be blunt, but it could happen. Don't lose hope."
Kagami grew quiet and Aomine wanted to punch the doctor, to tell him to look at the PET scan images one more and tell both of them that he had miscalculated.
Instead, Kagami spoke again. "So, if I have hope, I'll be okay?"
This time, the doctor couldn't give him an answer. The desperate look in Kagami was enough to make Aomine stand up and slam his hand on the desk. The doctor jumped from the sudden action.
"Tell him, doctor. Will he be okay?" Aomine asked with a glare. When the doctor said nothing, Aomine shook his head, his eyes closing to will the tears away, and his hands reached for the doctor's clothing. He began shaking him. "Will he be okay?" He asked once more. "Please, tell him, doctor. Will he be okay? Will everything be okay?"
"I'm sorry. I don't know."
"Everything will be okay, Aomine. Have some hope, will you?"
Aomine snaps back into reality. He looks at Kagami, who is waiting for an answer. He still has the same desperate eyes from back then, when the doctor would not, for the sake of his life, tell both of them that Kagami would be okay.
Aomine shakes his head. "I can't. I can't, Kagami."
Kagami's eyes drop. "It's understandable. I'm sorry we can't do anything."
"We—" Aomine's phone suddenly rings and he impatiently opens it to see Kise's name flashing. He clicks the end button and turns off his phone entirely.
"You should've answered that." Kagami reprimands but Aomine shrugs. "Who was it?"
"Kise. Probably to babble about you again." Aomine says, waving his hand carelessly. When Kagami doesn't say anything back, not even to rebuke him, he looks at the red head peculiarly. Aomine sees a face he had never seen before. A face that strongly resembles a face that wants to remember.
"Who's that?" Kagami asks in pure curiosity and Aomine's eyes widen significantly before the door opens and a nurse tells him it's time to leave.
This time, when Aomine comes in, he has his phone in his hand, gripped and ready to use.
Instead of the normal question, he flips his phone and goes to his photo gallery. Kagami looks at him curiously.
"Aren't you going to ask me what I remember?" Kagami asks as Aomine searches through his phone. Aomine doesn't reply at the moment, but once he finds the picture he has been meaning to show Kagami, he looks at the red head with determined eyes.
"I am. But this time, I'm not asking you what you remember, but who." Aomine explains as he hands the phone to Kagami. Kagami takes it with confusion in his eyes but looks at the picture and makes a face.
"Why are you showing me Kuroko?" Kagami asks and Aomine heaves a sigh of relief.
"Good, you still remember him. What's you relationship with him?"
The realization dawns on Kagami as he throws the phone to the corner of the bed. Aomine looks at him wildly. "What you do that for? That's my only phone, you know!" Aomine berates but Kagami isn't listening.
He glares at the navy haired man next to him. "You're even more violent than I expected."
"What? What do you mean violent?" Aomine questions in an astonished voice.
"You just want to rub it in my face, don't you?" Kagami starts to say, his movements becoming uneven and beast-like, like he can't control anything in his body right now. "You just want to confirm whether I'm okay or not."
"Obviously. It's already started, Kagami. We need to confirm this even further. You can't just forget the people around you!" Aomine says exasperatedly. "And what the hell are you saying by my rubbing it in your face? What am I rubbing?"
Kagami's eyes narrow even further. "I don't need a constant reminder, Aomine. I don't need you to rub it in my face that we're losing more hope every day. Stop it."
"We can't just let this happen without knowing where we are! We need to know!"
"Maybe I don't want to know. Did you ever think of that? Did you ever think that maybe, just fucking maybe, I just want to spend the rest of my days making as many new memories I can before they all just disappear?"
"They're not going to disappear!" Aomine screams desperately.
"Maybe they fucking will! When were you ever the person to have hope, huh?" Kagami screams back with equal passion. At the word hope, Aomine stops short. Kagami's voice also lessens. "You've never once told me you had hope. Why the sudden change?"
Aomine stays silent while he bites the inside of his cheek. Kagami sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. It's gotten significantly longer. "Look, even I know at this point that there might not be much left for me. That there's not going to be much hope. But you, of all people, don't need to rub it in my face that that hope is gone. I don't need a constant reminder of that, ok? So will you please just stop trying to confirm this and let it go?"
"I can't." Aomine whispers so low that Kagami has to perk his ears up.
"What?"
"I said I can't." Aomine says, loud enough this time. He looks at Kagami, unable to shy away from his begging eyes. "I can't do that."
"Why not? Why are you so desperate to know whether I'm losing everything? I thought that much was obvious from the moment the doctor told us what I had."
Aomine can't say the word. He still can't say that it's because he now has hope solely because of his selfish desperation. Instead, he goes, "it's for my peace of mentality." He looks at Kagami deeply, begging him silently for him to see how much pain this is causing the blue head. "You can't expect me to just sit here, pretend nothing's happening when clearly you can't even remember one of the most important people in your life. I can't deal with that, Kagami."
"Aomine—" Kagami starts to say but Aomine cuts him off with a raised hand.
"I know it's selfish of me when it's clearly obvious that you hate it, but I can't live with the fact that you're forgetting everything and I don't know to limit to that. What if—" Aomine cuts himself off. Kagami takes his hand and squeezes it.
"Aomine…"
The navy haired man takes a deep breath. "What if you forget me?"
The two fall silent as the words that Aomine just spit out settle into their minds. There it is. Aomine's worst fear at his current state. The constant fear that one day, Kagami will forget him and everything they did together. Aomine can't live with that; he can't live knowing that one day, Kagami will forget him.
Kagami breaks the silence first. "Aomine, I won't forget you." He says confidently but dread is still pooling Aomine's gut. "Will you please trust me?"
Aomine takes a deep breath. "Then earn that trust by giving me answers. Tell me your relationship with Tetsu."
It takes a moment for Kagami to answer, but what Aomine doesn't know is that the reason why Kagami took so long in answering is because he had forgotten for a moment that Aomine's nickname for Kuroko is Tetsu. His hands subtly tremble but it's not noticeable enough for Aomine to see. "He's my basketball partner. My best friend. We go to the same school and he's the only person other than you who's been visiting me for a long period of time."
The dread in Aomine's gut slowly begins to dissipate as he lets go of Kagami's hand and fetches for the phone again. He searches through the gallery and this time, the picture he gives Kagami is an ever so familiar green-headed man.
Kagami stares at it for a moment. Then, "Midorima. Midorima Shintarou."
"What's your relationship with him?"
"We're basketball rivals, aren't we? He's in Shuutoku and we beat him in Inter High and tied in the Winter Cup."
Aomine's heart begins to unravel from its tight knot. It's going ok. He takes another picture. This time, Kagami takes a longer time to answer. His face distorts, his eyebrows furrowed, as he tries to identify the man in the picture.
"M- Mur—" Kagami tries to say but he can't quite get it. The knot starts tightening again.
"Come on, Kagami. You know him."
"Mur- M- Murasakibara." Kagami then blurts out and Aomine cheers mentally.
"Yeah, Murasakibara Atsushi. What's your relationship with him?"
Kagami's eyebrows furrow again. "It's related to basketball, isn't it? Everyone in my life is related to basketball, or else I wouldn't remember."
"Right, but do you remember when you faced him?"
"W-Winter Cup?" Kagami's eyes sparkle as he finally remembers. "Yeah, it was in the Winter Cup. His team is known to have the best defense. There were countless of times when their team won with the other team not being able to score anything, making it zero to who knows how many Murasakibara's team scored."
"Yeah, but you beat him, remember?"
Kagami smiles fondly at the memory. "I remember that my brother and I made up afterwards. Tatsuya, my brother, he's in the same school as Murasakibara, isn't he? Yosen High? "
Aomine shrugs. "Don't know him. Is he the one who covers one of his eyes and has a mole on the other?"
Kagami nods. "Yeah, that's him."
"Ok, you're doing great, Kagami. Let's go for another." He soon finds a picture of Akashi.
"How about this one?" Aomine asks and Kagami looks at the red haired, heterochromic man.
"… He's the one with the scissors, right?" Kagami says after a moment's silence.
"Yeah. You met him in the beginning of the Winter Cup, right?"
Kagami scratches his head. "I think so, maybe."
Aomine's breath quickens. "Do you remember his name?"
Kagami bites his lip in concentration, truly doing his best to try and remember. Aomine waits, and waits, and waits, but Kagami won't respond as quickly as he wants him to.
"Something with an A but other than that, I can't remember."
"Kagami…"
"I'm sorry. I just don't remember."
Aomine sighs shakily. "It's ok. You were never that close to him anyways. His name is Akashi Seijuurou and he was the Generation of Miracles captain."
"Akashi Seijuuro…" Kagami echoes and Aomine nods.
"Yeah. He goes to Rakuzan and you guys beat him and his team in the finals. It may have been the first time Akashi lost to anything. You changed him for the better."
"I did?" Kagami asks hesitantly and Aomine nods vigorously.
"You did. You and Tetsu. You helped all of us."
Kagami smiles softly at the news. "Well then, I'm glad I was such a good impact for you guys."
"Okay, I just have one more person to show you." Aomine says and he searches. The picture lands on gold hair and a bright smile. Kise. Kise Ryouta. The same person Kagami couldn't remember before.
With shaky hands, he hands the phone to Kagami, desperately hoping that he can remember now. Kagami takes it with unsuspecting hands and looks at the photo for a long time. A second later, he gives the phone back to Aomine and shakes his head.
"I don't remember."
Aomine looks at Kagami with pleading eyes. "You have to remember, Kagami. It's Kise. Kise Ryouta? You know, part time model, part time student? You must have seen him on magazine covers or something, right?"
"I don't read magazines, Aomine." Kagami says pointedly.
"That's not the point!" Aomine shouts. "Kise Ryouta. The first Generation of Miracle you fought against and won. He's in Kaijou High, he's ability is to perfectly copy others, and he's one of the most bubbly, annoyingly happy people you will ever meet. Kagami, you have to remember!"
Kagami glares, his stare so intense even the oblivious Aomine Daiki feels the fire, and he stops his rant.
"I don't remember." Kagami stresses. "And I'd fucking appreciate it if you would stop rubbing it in my face that I don't remember."
"Kagami, I—"
"I think it'd be best if you left for today, Aomine." Kagami says dismissively as he closes his eyes and practically refuses to look at Aomine in the eye. The navy haired man feels a heart wrenching pain in his chest but complies.
"I'll come by again, ok? With Tetsu next time." Aomine says but Kagami doesn't reply. After he leaves, Kagami can't help but whisper, "Who's Tetsu?"
"Midorima Shintarou." Aomine says. Kuroko, with his blank eyes, silently scrutinizes Kagami, the man laying on the bed with barely any thought running through his mind.
"Green hair with glasses." Kagami answers right after. He even looks proud of himself for the fast timing.
Aomine isn't satisfied. "Anything else you want to add to his description?"
"Like what?" Kagami asks with an eyebrow raised.
"Maybe the school he goes to or what he specializes in when it comes to basketball?" Kuroko pitches in, hoping Kagami can answer such simplistic questions. He and Midorima were never on good terms, both Aomine and Kuroko knew, but that didn't mean that the two didn't know anything about each other. Kuroko would even argue that out of all the Generation of Miracles except for Aomine, Kagami knew Midorima the best.
Kagami shakes his head, much to the dismay of the two visitors. "I don't know. I know the school starts with an S, and I know he's freakishly good at basketball, just like everybody else I've bet, but that's all I know. You never gave me any other kind of information about him."
Before Aomine can protest that the two had plenty of time to share information with each other, Kuroko changes to the next person. "It is okay. We will leave Midorima-kun at that. What about Murasakibara-kun? Murasakibara Atsushi?"
"T-tall? He's tall, right? Like, freakishly tall?" Kagami stutters, his forehead slowly beading with sweat from the intense focus.
"I mean, yeah, that's his defining characteristic, but there were other things you said about him." Aomine says. "Which school does he go to?"
"You think I know that kind of shit?" Kagami scoffs, offended that Aomine would remotely think that he would know that. The problem is, Kagami should.
"Okay, we will go with a different phrasing. Where does your brother go to?" Kuroko asks.
Kagami looks at Kuroko weirdly. "I had a brother?"
"Kagami!" Aomine shouts in shock.
"What? What did I do? I'm an only child!" Kagami responds back in a panic. "What did I say wrong?"
"Kagami-kun, do you remember Himuro-san?"
"Tatsuya? Yeah, of course I do. He was one of my only friends back in the States. Why are you suddenly bringing him up?"
"Kagami-kun, you always referred Himuro-san as your brother." Kuroko explains and Kagami gives him a blank look.
"What are you talking about? I never once thought of Tatsuya as a brother."
Aomine shakes his head hard and later has to support the weight of his skull with his hands. He's so dizzy but it's better than dealing with this head on. "Fine, whatever. You don't remember Murasakibara. What about Akashi then? Akashi Seijuurou?"
"That's a fancy name." Kagami notes. "Who's he?"
Kuroko and Aomine look at each other with terrified looks. For once, Kuroko sheds his regular poker face to show Aomine his anxiety and fear.
Aomine takes a deep breath to calm himself. "Kagami, we recently just talked about him. He has red hair, just like you, and he has heterochromia. I showed you a picture a few days back, didn't I?" Aomine explains and it takes a moment for Kagami to process his words before recognition flashes in his eyes.
"Right, you came with your phone a few days ago, didn't you?"
"Yeah, and I asked you to describe each person. And I showed you Akashi. What did I tell you about him?"
"Aomine, I don't know." Kagami answers in defeat. Aomine feels like ripping his hair out. Kuroko places a hand on Aomine's back and the name Kise Ryouta die on his lips before they can even open.
'Do we not ask him about Kise?' Aomine communicates silently with Kuroko and the teal-haired student shakes his head.
'If he barely remember Midorima-kun, he will surely not be able to remember Kise-kun. We have to let it go.' Kuroko responds back, equally as silent. Aomine growls in annoyance but he complies anyways.
The anger, however, doesn't dissipate. "Goddammit, Tetsu. What do we do?" Aomine says while running his hand through his hair.
Kuroko stays still. "I don't know, Aomine-kun. What is there left to do?"
"I don't know, Tetsu. I just don't know."
Kuroko begins to stand. "I think I will talk to one of the doctors. Surely there must be something we can do." He looks back at Kagami, who is blankly staring at the TV in front of him. "He is losing them too quickly."
Aomine nods in agreement, though anyone can see just how much that angers him. When Kuroko leaves, Aomine sits back down on his normal chair and Kagami places his hand on top of Aomine's, just like a routine.
"Kagami, what's wrong?" Aomine asks because it's been a while since he's seen the red head so reticent and quiet.
"Aomine." Kagami says in a low voice. He can feel Kagami's hand trembling slightly. "Who was that?" He asks and Aomine's sure a bullet just pierced his chest.
His eyes widen. No. No, no, no. "Kagami, you're kidding, right? You have to be kidding. It's Tetsu!"
"No, Aomine, that's not what I mean. I just— No matter how hard I try, I don't remember a Tetsu. You keep referring him as Tetsu, but I just can't figure out who that is."
"Kagami, you're not making any sense."
Kagami looks at Aomine with wide eyes. "No, I just— I… Who is Tetsu?"
Aomine abruptly stands from his seat. "Kagami, you're not doing this to me. You were just talking to him!"
"Who is Tetsu, Aomine?" Kagami begs. "Who the fuck is Tetsu?"
"Your best friend! He's your fucking best friend, Bakagami! Why are you doing this to me?" Aomine's voice cracks and Kuroko rushes into the room, his eyes wild and anxious.
"Aomine-kun, what's wrong?"
Aomine crouches down, unable to show his face. "Tetsu, I— He—"
Kuroko gets the gist of it. He walks over to Kagami, who is now looking at the teal haired student with limited awe. "Kagami-kun, what happened?"
Kagami continues to stare, stare for such a long time that even Kuroko himself feels uncomfortable. Then, he buries his head into the sheets. "I don't know. I don't know." He stammers, muttering to himself mostly but audible enough for both visitors.
"Kagami-kun," Kuroko continues to push, "what do you remember?"
Kagami won't lift his head. Aomine takes that time to get his composure back. He places a hand on Kuroko's shoulder and looks away when Kuroko slightly turns back and stares at him. Aomine could never get used to those probing eyes.
"Aomine-kun, why won't he look at me?" Kuroko asks, his voice still a monotone but Aomine can tell the other hidden emotions packed in those few words.
He still refuses to look at him. "I'm sorry, Tetsu. Kagami, he… He doesn't remember you." And just like that, the glass shatters and Kuroko, without even a goodbye, leaves the room. Aomine gets ready to run after him, to tell him he's so sorry for what's happening, but Kagami stops him with a simple name call.
He looks back at Kagami with wild eyes. "What is it, Kagami?"
Kagami, with a look of complete and utter despair, tells him, "tell him I'm sorry for not being able to remember. Please, come back soon and tell me all about him. I— I don't want to forget anymore. I don't want to keep thinking that everything will be okay."
When Aomine walks closer to Kagami, to calm him down, he sees the tears marring both the sheets and his cheeks. Before Aomine can think, he's already wrapped his arms around Kagami in a gut-wrenching hug.
"He— He must have been someone important, right? He must have helped me, just like you did." Kagami says with a quiet but still hoarse, cracking voice, burying his head on Aomine's shoulder. There's a wet patch growing but Aomine ignores it.
"Yeah, he did. Tetsu was such an important person in your life." Aomine replies, his eyes closed tightly and doing his best not to focus on the hiccups Kagami is making.
"Then, why? Why can't I remember him? Why can't I remember such a precious memory like him?" Kagami wails and the only thing Aomine can do is hug him tighter.
"Kagami, it's going to be okay. Everything will be okay."
It's barely a whisper, so small and quiet that Aomine, the person closest to Kagami at the moment and forevermore, almost misses.
"No, it won't. Nothing will be okay anymore."
"What do you remember?"
"I don't know."
Aomine sighs. "Kagami, that's not your typical answer."
Kagami refuses to look at the man beside him. "What was my typical answer, then?"
"Are you even trying?"
Kagami grabs the sheets beside him in a fit of anger. "Of course I am, you fucker," he spits out, "but I can't help that I'm fucking losing everything important in my life. I'm sorry I don't remember what my typical answer was for whatever you asked me, but I don't fucking remember, no matter how hard I try. So will you please tell me what my answer would have been, so I can at least pretend that I'm doing okay?"
"Time-frame." Aomine says without much retort. He's just so tired. Kuroko refuses to come with him anymore and he hasn't told any of the others about Kagami's condition. At this point, he wonders if telling them will even make a difference anymore. "You always asked about the time-frame because my question was too broad."
Kagami lets go of the bed sheets and runs a hand through his hair impatiently. "Fine, give me a time frame. Let's see if I can get this one."
"Kagami, will you please stop making this into a joke?" Aomine says tiredly.
"I never was." Kagami responds stubbornly.
Aomine lets it go, just like all the anger he's been accumulating for the past few months. He decides to open up his fragile heart one more time, in the hope, hope, that Kagami will at least remember everything about him.
"Do you remember the day I confessed to you?"
Kagami whips his head to the navy haired man and his eyes grow wide. "Why are you suddenly bringing that up?"
"Well, you did ask for a time-frame. There it is."
"Aomine…" Kagami starts but before another word can come out of his mouth, Aomine covers it with his hand. Kagami feels, can even see just how scared Aomine is right now.
"Don't you dare tell me you can't remember something as crucial as this. Don't you dare, Kagami. I'm not as strong as you think I am." Aomine says in a low voice and both can detect how close he is to crying.
Kagami sighs, wanting to cry as well. "Not fair, Aomine, not fair at all." He says with a small laugh. "You're supposed to the undefeatable, aren't you? You're supposed to be strongest person I've ever met."
"Kagami, this is more dear to me than you will ever imagine. So please, for the love of God, please answer me." Aomine begs, practically kneeling beside him, taking Kagami's hand and holding it tightly, close to his heart. Kagami can feel the rapidly pulsing rhythm of Aomine's heart and he knows just how much pain the navy haired man is feeling. It matches his own.
"It was a change of pace for once." Kagami starts and Aomine lifts his head and looks up to see Kagami's shining red eyes, glistening in the sunlight.
Hope. Aomine is beginning to have hope.
"Instead of having our usual one-on-one basketball match, you asked if we could just hang out at Maji Burger's and that you would be buying. I was shocked, not by the fact that you were the one who proposed not to play basketball but by the fact that you were acting really considerate."
"Hey!" Aomine interrupts unintentionally. "What do you mean 'acting considerate'? What do you take me for, Bakagami?"
Kagami chuckles. "You're not one to be considerate, Aomine."
Said person harrumphs. "Fine."
"I was curious to see what you were brewing. Maybe you were doing this because you wanted to break things off, or maybe it was your way of saying that you were getting bored with me. I was terrified."
"But I never did, did I? Break things off, I mean." Aomine says and Kagami smiles.
"No, I guess you never did, seeing as though you're the only one who visits me anymore."
Aomine gapes. "Has no one else come by?"
Kagami shrugs. "I mean, some have come in, but they were complete strangers. One just wouldn't stop crying and I felt so uncomfortable trying to comfort a man I had never met before."
Aomine hesitates. "Do you remember anything from that man?"
"Just that he had really peculiar eyes. It was almost like they were golden or something. I mean, I've seen a lot of blonds but I've never once seen a person with golden eyes."
Kise. That's why Aomine got that call a few days back, with Kise babbling so much that Aomine couldn't understand a single word he said. Like the jackass he was, he merely ended the call, foreboding as much but never really taking it into consideration.
"And there was also a person with light blue hair. He reminded me of someone but I could never wrap my finger around it."
Tetsu. "Did you guys talk about anything?"
"Well, he asked me the same question you did just now, but other than that, no. We barely talked at all. He told me we knew each other really well, so I had to apologize for not being able to remember. Do you know who it was, Aomine?"
Aomine feels too tired to explain. What was the point? Kagami would just forget. He shakes his head and lies right to Kagami's face. "No, don't think I do."
Kagami sighs. "Figures, I didn't give you much of a description anyways. I just thought, you know, maybe those people who have been visiting me may have been connected to me in some way and I just can't remember anymore."
"Kagami, stop. We should go back to the story. Tell me more about what happened." Aomine says with a hand stopping Kagami from going further. Kagami looks at him with unreadable eyes but complies.
"Where was I?"
"When we got to Maji Burger's and you were having really weird doubts about me."
"When I was…" Kagami trails off but recognition flashes in his eyes. "Right, that part. Well, when you came back, I was feeling really nervous and I thought for sure you would break these meetings with me because, I don't know, I was too weak?"
"That's bullshit." Aomine can't help but say. Kagami laughs.
"Yeah, well, it was also bullshit at the time to see you so nice and compassionate."
"I'm offended you think so lowly of me."
"Hey, I don't think like that anymore." Kagami touches Aomine's cheek and smiles like an angel. "Thank you for coming every day."
Aomine returns the touch by nuzzling his cheek further into Kagami's hand. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
The two relish in each other's touches and for the first time in what seems like forever, since the day Kagami was hospitalized and observed due to his condition, Aomine leans in and kisses Kagami softly. It's not passionate, not like in the old days when the two were fighting to be the dominant one. It's more amicable and definitely more loving, caring even. It's a kiss to assure to each other that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay. Each caress, each stroke, each feeling the two give out are for two purposes: assurance and hope. Hope that this is just a phase; hope that Kagami will soon be up and running; hope that Kagami will be okay.
When their lips depart, both Kagami and Aomine are breathless. Their foreheads touch and the two look at each other deeply, each drowning in the other's eyes. Kagami smiles as he takes in the touch and smell of Aomine Daiki, and Aomine himself does the same.
Hope. It's fruitless, but Aomine and his small, fragile heart hopelessly decide that this moment may just enough to change the future.
"Finish the story for me, Aomine." Kagami whispers and the intimacy of the whole thing makes Aomine completely forget the position Kagami is in. He forgets the dire situation of Kagami's mind and instead, restarts the story as if nothing were ever wrong.
"I was sweating so much while I got our food. You had a mountain of hamburgers like always and I just had a milkshake at hand. You started stuffing yourself and I was just waiting for the right moment to tell , you noticed my having nothing and threw one of the hamburgers at me and told me that it was weird of me to suddenly ask this out of the blue."
"That was when the moment was right, right?"
Aomine nods, still unable to see the uncertainty of it all. "And like water overflowing from its container, I blurted out that I liked you. I liked you a lot."
Kagami closes his eyes, enjoying the hands covering his cheeks; Aomine's hands. He hums a bit, making sure that Aomine can't see the despair coursing through his body. Why can't he remember?
"And you actually choked on your food, can you believe that?" Aomine laughs heartily and Kagami follows suit.
It's then that Aomine feels the coldness seeping through Kagami's hands that are covering Aomine's cheeks. The laugh also sounds off, and Aomine looks at Kagami's closed eyes to see that his eyelids are slightly trembling.
Fuck, he thinks. I fucked up. "Kagami." He says as assertively as possible but Kagami won't open his eyes. "Kagami." Aomine says one more time.
"What?" Kagami replies in a hoarse voice. "What do you want from me, Aomine?"
"Do you— Do you not remember?" Aomine stutters and with the silence accompanying it soon afterwards, Aomine detaches himself from the man he loves and walks to the opposite side of the room, the opposite to Kagami.
"I'm sorry, Aomine." Kagami says, his voice shaking and cracking. "I just can't remember. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Aomine can't breath in the sunlight. Thankfully, gray, stormy clouds cover it and his nose detects rain about to fall. His balance fails him for a second, but that second is enough for him to fall to the ground. He grabs his head to stop the dizziness and takes deep, huge breaths to calm himself down.
He needs to do something. He needs to stop this before Kagami forgets everything.
Everything. Is he being selfish for even thinking that Kagami's everything is Aomine himself?
"Kagami—"
"Finish it." Kagami cuts in before Aomine can finish his sentence. Aomine turns around to see Kagami gripping the sheets so tightly, his fists are as white as the bed sheets. "Finish the story and help me remember."
"Kagami…" Aomine says in despair but there's determination in Kagami's eyes that Aomine can't say no to.
"Y-You choked on the hamburgers and you asked me to repeat myself. I did and you didn't give me an answer for a few seconds. I was in agony because I just took a huge risk by telling you. Every horrible possibility was going through my head while you were quiet, and when you finally did say something, I was shaking so much that I'm pretty sure some people could've mistaken it for a seizure."
"What did I tell you?"
Aomine cracks a small smile at the memory. "You told me that I had a good eye for these kinds of things, and you call me a cocky bastard."
Kagami laughs and it's contagious enough to make Aomine chuckle for a bit as well.
"Is that when we started dating?"
Aomine shakes his head. "No, it took much longer than that. We didn't start dating until about a week after I confessed to you because you were too much of a scaredy cat to date someone as amazing as me."
"I call bullshit to that. Stop changing the story, Aomine."
"Do you remember the rest?" Aomine asks, hope glistening over the stormy night.
Sadly, Kagami shakes his head. "No, but I know that I would never be like that. Aomine, stop testing me. It's over."
Anger that should be boiling Aomine's blood doesn't even show; instead, Aomine feels more and more dread as it looks like even Kagami is losing the one thing he had been rattling since the beginning: hope.
Kagami is beginning to lose hope.
"Don't say that." Aomine says in a quiet voice. Kagami strains to hear.
"What?"
"Don't say that, Kagami. Don't say that as if you've lost hope. You, of all people."
Kagami turns his head away from Aomine. "Says the person who never even believed in it from the first place."
Aomine takes his hand and places it on top of Kagami's. Kagami whips his head back because for the longest time, it had always been Kagami to do that. He looks at Aomine curiously and Aomine squeezes his hand.
"Well, I have hope now, Kagami, so you should, too."
"Aomine, I—"
"Don't you dare tell me that you've lost it, not when we're at the pinnacle of medical research. There's always hope, Kagami."
"Heh, you sound just like me."
"You were always the one to keep moving forward even when the obstacle in front of you seemed insurmountable. Remember when you went against me and won?" Aomine asks, the question seemingly innocent at first glance.
"I won against you?" Kagami asks back and Aomine's fragile, small heart grows even weaker.
Before he can't take the pain anymore, Aomine blurts out the news he's been avoiding to say the entire session. "I'm not going to be able to see you for a week."
Kagami's eyes widen. "What? Is there something wrong?"
Aomine shakes his head to dispel Kagami's worry. "No, nothing's wrong. I talked to someone a few days ago if there was any way we could help you. His name is Akashi, do you remember him?"
When Kagami shakes his head, Aomine can only sigh. "Well, he's this super genius who knows a lot of things and has a lot of connection with people. I asked him if there was anything I could do for you and he told me that there's a research facility in Hokkaido that's been trying to push the medical field even further, to the point of almost finding cures for tumors and cancers."
"So you're going to Hokkaido?" Kagami asks, getting the gist of it.
Aomine nods tiredly. "Yeah. Akashi told me that I should visit them and tell them about the current situation. He told me that they might have something to help you."
"So, you're going to go?"
"What choice do I have? Of course I have to. Akashi could have gone himself but he's swamped with work, as well as the others. I'm the only person qualified, anyways."
"But what if they don't have what you're looking for? What if it becomes a dead end?"
Aomine looks directly into Kagami's eyes. "Kagami, there is a slight chance that whatever those people are doing in Hokkaido, they might help you with your illness. You might be cured. I can't just pass that up."
"Don't go." Kagami pleads and Aomine stops in his steps. "Please, don't go."
"Kagami, wh—"
"Don't go, don't go, don't go!" Kagami shouts, sounding just like a child. Aomine rushes to him, trying to calm him down.
Kagami pushes him away and buries himself inside the sheets. "Don't go, Aomine. Please."
It breaks his heart. "I have to."
"Don't go."
"I'm sorry. I'll come as soon as I can."
"Don't go."
"Kagami, please don't make this harder than it has to be."
"You don't have to go. You can always wait."
"With how much you've forgotten in such little time, I don't think I have time for that. It'll only be a week, maybe even faster. Please, Kagami. I'm doing this all for you."
"Please don't go."
"Why are you against my leaving?"
"Because—!" Kagami stops at the last second, but Aomine already knows what he's about to say.
"You'll remember me." Aomine says simply, determinedly. When Kagami doesn't respond, Aomine slowly places his hand against Kagami's cheeks, forcing the red head to look at him. They're both crying. "Kagami, tell me you'll remember me."
Another tear falls on Aomine's hand. It's cold, just like his hand. "I-I'll remember you, Aomine Daiki. I'll do my best to remember."
Aomine isn't satisfied. But Kagami's words are all he has now. Their foreheads clink together and for a moment, there is nothing around them. It's just them and their passion, their love.
"Everything will be okay. Have some hope, will you?" Aomine says and with a single nod, the approval of his lover, Aomine kisses him and leaves the room, leaving Kagami Taiga alone for a single week.
"I'm sorry, Kagami. The people in Hokkaido had nothing. It was all a dead end, just like you predicted. No matter what they did, it never worked. I'm so sorry I left you Kagami. I won't ever do it again."
"…"
"Kagami?"
"… I'm sorry, I don't know who you are."
How was it? Good, bad, meh? Tell me in the reviews!
For some reason, my brain is hardwired to write angst and only angst, especially when it comes to AoKaga (I blame it on my best friend whose OTP is AoKaga). It's even more heart breaking when you realize how wrong the title is for this story.
I don't really have much to say but I loved writing this story. The idea of Kagami losing his memories and ultimately Aomine himself was always on my mind for several months, but I never really had the motivation for writing it.
Fun fact: I had originally begun to write this a several weeks ago but I abandoned it completely and started anew because I thought the mood was too cheerful. I like the way this turned out but I'd like to hear your opinion as well, so go ahead :)
Once again, I'd appreciate it if you'd check out my new stories, Limelight and The Icelandic Word for Goodbye because these two I worked so hard on and I'd be really happy if they got some more love. But all in all, it's your choice and I don't blame you if they sound a bit dull.
Thanks for reading and please await my next update!
Peace,
FlyAndDontLookBack