This is a made-up timeline of Drake Merwin! It is dedicated Caris L. Clearwater!! Cause they asked and they're COOL LIKE THAT!! 8D Hope you enjoy! YAY EXCLAMATION POINTS!

Perfectly Perfect

My family is perfect. My mom stays at home, cleans the house, makes dinner, attends PTO meetings and leads the bake sales, and even watches over the kid: me. She's the perfect mom. My dad is a cop, he leads a community night-watch group to stop burglaries, he's the coach of the junior basket ball team, the mini soccer league, and the midget football team. He's the perfect dad. I have perfect aunts and uncles with perfect children with perfect grandparents and perfect relatives. Then I was born. I'm a pioneer. I'm a new, fresh start to the Merwin line. I'm sadistic.

When I was three, I started a fire. In my bathroom trash can. I found a lighter in my parents' room, just on the top of their bedside table. I had burned myself a couple times, stupid, stupid me. But I kept at it. Then I started the fire. It was cool. I lit a piece of toilet paper and chucked it into the can. The flames went up and up. I leaned in too close and singed my eyebrows. My mom came in when the smoke alarm went off and called the police and fire department. She put out the fire before they even showed up. Cause she's the perfect mom. I'm sadistic.

At the age of five, I got into my first fight. It was with this fat kid in my kindergarten class. He took my pudding pop and I wanted it. I slammed my fist right into his gut. He cried. But hey, he took my pudding pop. Plus, it was fun to watch him cry on the ground. So much cooler than watching him just plain cry. I kicked him seven times. Then seven times more. The teacher tried to pick me up to stop me, but I bit her. She bled and called the principal and my mom and dad. The fat kid was given a popsicle and went home early. His parents transferred him to another school the next week. My mom scolded me. My dad punished me. I didn't get deserts for a week. Cause they're the perfect parents. I'm sadistic.

And when I was seven, I went hunting. My dad took me out. I got to use a gun. I shot things. A lot of things. It was deer-hunting season. The guy at the range told me and my dad that we could only shoot bucks, and not does. We went out, wearing cool hunting gear and wielding my dad's work guns. I liked playing with them. Safety. Deadly. Safety. Deadly. Bang bang bang. My dad didn't shoot anything. I shot seven animals. Two rabbits, one bird, one buck, three does. Dad told me I couldn't go hunting until I learned to 'control' a gun. He said we'd try next year. Cause he's the perfect dad. I'm sadistic.

When I was eight, I cut my babysitter with scissors. She was really annoying. She had blonde hair, was a cheerleader, used her cell phone way too much, and had a really. Really. High. Voice. Like a chipmunk. My parents went out to a movie and dinner and left me alone with her. She gave me paper, markers, glue, and a pair of scissors to do some crafts. Then she turned on her cell phone. She called her friends. Over. And over. And over. Giggling. Squealing. Shrieking. Just talking. I picked up the scissors and tried to cut her hair. Then she started bleeding. I laughed. She screamed. She called my mom and dad and they came home early. So did the babysitter. My mom scolded me. My dad punished me. No TV for two weeks. Cause my parents are perfect. I'm sadistic.

And when I was nine, I smacked my mom. In the face. She wanted me to go clean my room. I was playing my video games when she walked in and stared yelling at me. I told her to go away. She told me not to use that tone with her. I wasn't using a tone. I just wanted her to go away. She started to take away my controller. I slapped her across the face, grabbing my controller and pushing her away. My mom hit the TV in the back of the head. She dropped to the ground. She did not move. My dad came in because he heard the tussle from downstairs. I was playing video games, my mom was unconscious. My dad took my mom to their bedroom, where she finally woke up after a half an hour. My mom scolded me. My dad punished me. No video games for a month. They get a brochure in the mail for some sort of school. Cause my parents are perfect. I'm sadistic.

At the age of ten, I used a bat and swung what could've been a homerun. In a girl's face. She was a smart-ass. Always raised her hand to answer every question, aced every test, studied all the time, and apparently had a crush on me. Girls are gross. She came to me on the playground, blushing, and told me I looked cute. Not a good thing to say to me when I was about to go up to bat. I swung at her head. Once, twice, thrice… Too many to count. Not too hard considering her big brain and ego swelled it up. She got two black eyes and a bloody nose. Oh, and two teeth got knocked out. I kept one. They called the nurse and ambulance. The girl got stitches. I got expelled. My mom scolded me. My dad punished me. I was grounded for two months. Somehow that brochure became more and more interesting to my parents. Cause my parents are perfect. I'm sadistic.

When I was twelve, I shot a kid. Right in the leg. He was annoying, but hey, who wasn't? But this kid was specifically annoying. He came over every day. Every freakin day. Bugging me. There were no other kids on the street other than us, so he thought that it justified 'hanging out'. I hated that kid. Then the day came that he wanted to use my dad's gun. He just wanted to hold it. I smirked. "Just for a minute." I said, leading him to the garage. He waited at the door as I opened the case, pulling the gun out. I clicked the safety. Deadly. I turned back to him. He was stark white. He said he didn't want to hold it anymore.

Then I shot him. He bled all over the floor, screaming his head off. I laughed. His legs spazzed as though there was an electric current going through it. He panicked and began to press down on the wound, howling. Tears streamed down his face. Tears streamed down my own. From laughing so hard. Finally, if this kid died, I would have gotten rid of him forever. Why didn't I do this earlier? The door to the garage swung open and there stood my mom. She screamed. I smiled.

"What is WRONG with you?!" Cause my mom is perfect.

I'm sadistic.

The police came, the ambulance came, and so did everyone on the street to watch. The kid got carted away, wrapped all in gauze and medical tape. He was still crying.

I was handcuffed by a cop, who read me my rights. I knew my rights. That kid was annoying. And it was funny as hell to see him bleed and cry. My dad walked over to me as I was put into the cop car. "How could you?" He had hissed. "I kept that gun locked away and you in order. How could you shot a kid?" Cause my dad is perfect.

"I raised you better than this!" My mom shrieked. "Why would you betray your father and I like this?!" Cause my mom was perfect.

I smiled. "I'm sadistic."

Miss Rouge Apple~ Wow this was a short one... I apologize for the length, but I'm pretty proud of it! ^^ Hope you all enjoyed it! Especially Caris! If this did not meet your needs, please inform me, and I might be able to fix it! Thank you all for reading and I hope you have a fan-tabulous day! :D

Please review if you might! C: