Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own Teen Titans. Although I was gonna go as Starfire for Halloween..........

Author's Notes: Yes. My first Teen Titan's fanfiction. First off, I want to WARN you all that this will NOT be a pretty fic, and there may be some out of character-ness with the characters. I don't really write happy-go-lucky stories, sorry. I have some plans for this story, though. Yes, it is a Starfire and Robin story. I'm not so sure about how and or if I'm going to place other couples in here or not; I may, I might not, we'll just see. It depends on how this whole thing goes. Please leave me feedback.

Blade of Secrets

Chapter 1- Razor Sharp Secrets

Starfire moved around restlessly within her blankets; sleep was evading her once again, and she didnt' like it one bit. The dark shades that shadowed her room were a testament to something that would have usually been given as a 'Raven' behavior, not one that would be associated with Starfire. She hid this darker side of herself quite well from the others; they never knew her from before, therefore they never knew the real Starfire from before. This secret of hers was actually a habit by now, and she found it somewhat ironic that no one ever asked about why she wore such long, metallic gloves. She supposed it was for the same reason that no one asked why Robin always wore a mask, or why Raven was never seen without her cloak. It had been a part of her, and they had accepted it. Of course, none of them realized that they were only there to mask a part of her life that she wanted to remain secret, and it did as she polluted the air with her bubbly and overly optimistic personality-- the facade she had learned to build for herself.

Reaching over cautiously to the drawer of her nightstand, she pulled out a small, insignificant razorblade. It bore a few rustic shaded stains, but nothing that she couldn't hide from the rest of the titans. Starfire knew what she was doing was wrong, but it was almost a basic necessity to her now, a habit that had formed a long time ago on Tamaran. It had helped her cope with so much before, from the way Blackfire had mistreated her when they were younger, to the tragedy of Terra's sacrifice. She had learned to rely on this bad habit to keep her optimism welcoming and unhindered for the rest of her friends. It was her way of protecting the ones she loved why sheltering herself and being as selfish as she possibily could be.

She drew the small blade across her coarsely scarred skin, not wincing at the pain that shot throughout her body. It really was only a numb feeling that triggered the nerves in her brain and she had learned to ignore it. Starfire was a smart, strong girl, but she felt so alienated from the rest of the group when it came to her emotions; the only time she could really allow them to show was in battle, when she needed them to use her powers. Otherwise, she was just the bubbly optimist who was attempting to keep the peace between everyone and make them smile. She loved being who she was, but that didn't mean she was incapable of feeling vunerable and insecure. She had, for a while, forgotten all about her best friend that now lay embedded in her flesh, but after the entire incident with Terra, she had once again come to retreat back to it for salvation and forgivness in her failure of helping her friend.

The Titans alarm suddenly sounded off, causing her to shoot up in bed, dragging the razor deeper into and further across her skin. She winced that time; the cut was at least a quarter inch deep and 2 inches long now, and that meant it was going to bleed for a while. She pulled her protective gloves on first and stored the blade away into the drawer once again as she continued to change. Starfire ran out of her room to join the rest of her friends as they prepared to fight their first foe of the morning. Robin was standing in wait for her, his arms crossed as he glanced around the living room.

"Who is the enemy we must do battle with today, Robin?" she questioned him. "And where are the others?"

"I told them to go on ahead; you were taking a while and I figured they could battle Plasmus without us for a little while." he responded. "Are you ready to go?"

She nodded. "Where are we going?"

"You're going to have to fly me there, Star, he's at the park."

Without even thinking, she nodded and proceeded to lift Robin into the air. Pain shot through her arm, but she forced herself to ignore it and bite her lip. The blood was circulating out of her arm at an increased rate and would start to leak from her gloves, so she had to get them to the park fast. Robin was sure to notice if there was blood falling from her arm. Starfire zigzagged repeatedly through the buildings, looking for a shortcut to the park. They rounded above the top of one building, only to find themselves within the aim of some disgusting purple goo. Angling them downward, Starfire managed to miss the attack and land them safely on the ground. Palsmus was dividing himself at all directions, desperately trying to protect himself from his ultimate downfall by the Titans. She needed an excuse for the blood that was beginning to bleed through her glove, so Starfire blotted in for attack, intent on allowing one of Plasmus's unaimed shots to hit her so she could use that as the excuse for her wound. She dodged most of the purple goo, her starbolts attacking him at the same time to make everything appear normal.

"Star, look out!" came Cyborg's unmistakable voice.

She looked to her side, noticing the great amount of goo that was aimed toward her; even if she hadn' t of wanted it to hit her, she wouldn't have been able to dodge it quick enough. Her entire body was engulfed in the substance and she went flying to the ground, roughly hitting a park bench at an odd angle. Her excuse was made truthful now, meaning she could continue to fight without a care in the world. Beast Boy desperately dug her out, and she shot off, blasting her starblots excessively until Plasmus fell backward into a pond. Starfire continued to shoot at him until the voices of her fellow Titans got a hold of her. Finally she allowed herself to land upon the ground and stare at the defeated enemy lying, asleep, in the pond.

"Your bleeding." Raven stated in her monotone voice, taking a hold of Starfire's arm. "It's bleeding pretty badly."

"You are right, friend Raven!" Starfire stated. "But it does not hurt that badly. I think I'll just 'medicate' it when we return home! Are we done here now, friends, and are you all alright?"

Beastboy popped up next to her, looking at the bloodied glove as well. "Are you sure you don't want Raven to look at that Star?"

She smiled. "I am positive I am not injured to horrendously."

Cyborg nodded. "I think we should get back then, so you can bandage that thing up."

The group walked away, Raven and Beastboy preparing to hoist Cyborg into the air. Starfire held her arm lightly, looking upward at the moon and thinking silently to herself over all the things that could have gone wrong with this situation. She was so close to getting caught, so close to losing their trust and their belief in her. That was the one drawback that had always scared her when it came to this; no one could know that she had a problem like this. Finally gaining enough calm within herself to head back home, she turned her gaze forward, only to find Robin standing there.

"Starfire, when we get back to the tower, can I talk you about something?" he asked her, a serious tone infiltrating his voice. "It's kind of important."

"Of course Robin, but what do we need to discuss so urgently?" she questioned.

"I'll tell you when we get back. It's not that far back, so lets walk. Your arm is injured and you shouldn't carry me back."

By the time they came back to the tower, the usual activity was occuring-- Raven sitting in a chair reading a book, Beastboy in the kitchen concoting some new tofu meal, and Cyborg flipping through the channels on the oversized TV. Before Starfire could give them her cheerful 'we have returned friends' greeting, Robin had taken a tight hold of her wrist and dragged her to her room, setting her down gently upon her bed as he retreated into the adjoined bathroom to get iodine and bandages. She shifted uncomfortably, noticing almost immediately a slight bloodstain on her sheets. Nervously she covered the spot with some of her pillows, not wanting Robin to become suspicious. He had said they had to talk about something important. Starfire wasn't stupid, he had noticed something during the battle and he wanted to question her about it. What she was mostly worried about was her ability to respond to his interregation.

Robin appeared from the room, and settled himself next to her. He took a hold of Starfire's arm, and tugged lightly on the glove that hide Starfire's wound. She pulled away suddenly, taking her arm out of his grasp.

"It needs to be cleaned."

"I do not wish to burden you with that task, I can do it myself. Thank you for your cocern though." Starfire responded.

He grasped her wrist tightly, pulling the glove down to reveal the scarred skin she kept hidden, and a large cut. Much to her surprise, Robin didn't question her right off the bat, he just continued to clean her wound gentely and thoroughly. She kept a cautious eye on his movements, not sure yet of what he was going to ask or what he was going to say. Robin was, after all, her best friend, the one that she secretly loved, the one that she would do anything for, and vice versa. He obviously had a lot to say, and she knew he was trying to think of how to say it.

"Star, where did you get this cut?"

She blinked; that was unexpected. "During the battle, where else would it have come from?"

Robin stopped his bandging job to look up at her. "Starfire, tell me the truth. You were hurt before we even left the Tower; I could tell you were favoring this arm. What happened?"

"Nothing, it was just a little sore." she lied again, not liking where this was going.

He tied the bandage, then allowed Starfire's arm to lie next to her. "This isn't the first time you've come out of a battle this way. I've noticed it quite a few times, so you'd be better off telling me the truth. Where did the rest of these scars come from?"

"Robin, I do not believe it is all that important." Starfire responded. "I have nothing to hide from you."

He stood up, heading for her door. "I think you do, but I won't force you tell me. You'll tell me when you feel like you need to. But if I think your in danger, I will figure out what's going on, no matter if you want me to or not."

Robin walked out of the room, heading for his own. Everything was obvious to him; he had always paid more attention to Starfire, for obvious reason-- he loved her, quite a bit at that. Her moods were easily for him to keep track of, and even the slightest twitch could alert him to a disturbance. He knew she was hiding something from him and the rest of the titans, and he also knew it wasn't good. Today only proved that; Starfire couldn't lie, especially when one fact rang true.

'If Plasmus really was the reason why she was injured, her glove would have been torn where she was cut.'

Author's Notes: Wow. The first chapter to my first Teen Titans fan fiction. I know, I know, this seems COMPLETELY out of character for Starfire. But you have to agree, someone can't always be THAT happy, can they? Flame me if you want, I know this is a sensitive subject to hit on, but I myself happen to know people who HAVE gone through this kind of stuff, and it's not fun. I just hope I can keep this going and not all the sudden just STOP. Please do leave me feedback, to let me know how I'm doing with the characters and everthing else. The more feedback I get (with ideas, I'm always welcome to that) the more likely I am to update.

Love and hugs--

Crystal Renee