Orange Lightning
In which one naughty ottsel gives us an up-close and in-depth look into the very private life of one called "Daxter, Not The Sidekick."
A/N: Fanfiction was running reeeallly slowly and I wasn't able to make some crucial revisions before this went live the first time. I took down the story and revised it again. My apologies to those first reviewers, Red Hawk K'sani and Rik (and anyone else who got tricked into reviewing a story that wasn't there!).
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Okay, sweetheart, there're just two things you gotta know–
ONE, we don't WANNA join your stupid "racing team..."
and TWO, you just lost a date– with Orange Lightning.
Let's go, Jak...
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Yeah, that's me, alright. Kickin' butt and breakin' hearts. I gotta stand up for myself– gotta reputation to keep you know– and being only two feet tall doesn't make it any easier...
You see, I wasn't always like this. Whoooaa no, sister, I'm gonna set the record straight.
You see, me and my buddy Jak (I'm sure you've heard of him– tall, dark, and gruesome, recently recovered from shock therapy) were sent on this SUICIDE mission for Old Log Head one day.
Of course, back then I was not quite as furry and short as I am today. Oh yeah, baby, we're talking the complete package– chiseled features, rock-hard abs, a smile to die for... Even Jak's girl Keira was hangin' all over me, begging for a date with yours truly...
I didn't let it all go to my head, though. Heck no. Even as the record-holding champion for the A-GraV course on Dead Man's Gorge, I still found the time to teach old Jak everything I knew (you see, he got those Metal Head pounding skillz from me).
But anyway, back to my daring adventure. So Old Greenie was just beggin' me to check out his little place called "Misty Island" and who was I to refuse? So I kissed goodbye to all my adoring fans as me and Jak (of course I let my best friend tag along) set out for the adventure of our lives.
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5 hours later...
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...So after saving Jak's life for the fifth time, we were surrounded by eighty of the most gruesome Lurkers you ever saw (and trust me, back then they weren't the cuddly, fuzzy pets they are today– they were worse than Metal Heads with poisonous fangs at least five feet long). I had Jak's back and he had mine... Well, sort of...
I was just about to pull off my Super Death of the Flying Black Dragon Alpha X move and make those Lurkers extinct when Jak had the brilliant idea of chucking a piece of stupid explosive Precursor junk at the nearest monster....
The explosion was the end of me. It sent me flying back into the muckiest, murkiest vat of Dark Eco you've EVER seen. Oooh, the pain! You could never have lived though it. It burned me from the inside out.
I fought it, though. When I finally managed to escape its evil dark clutches, I was transformed...
Yep, after the torture, I was still standin'. It may have made me the toughest ottsel on the block, but I still got the moves, baby...
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a date with a blonde bombshell just itchin' for my attention. I can't keep my adoring fans waiting... ;)
Your Hero,
Orange Lightning
(a.k.a. Daxter: The Man, The Legend, The Ottsel)
A/N: Maybe not the most inspired work– written in about ten minutes just because I wanted the excuse to write something with the title "Orange Lightning." Review if you have some suggestions for what would make it more "Daxter-like" and humorous.
P