"What have I done?" Anakin lamented; pure shock and disbelief coursed through his body. Falling to his knees in despair, he let his lightsaber, now extinguished, roll out of his hand onto the deep red carpet.
The body of Sheev Palpatine, his long-time mentor and friend-or so he thought- lay before him, crumpled against the edge of the broken windowsill of his illustrious office.
"You did the right thing, Skywalker." Master Windu insisted, his own purple blade just now being put away.
Anakin paid him no mind. The events of the last sixty seconds were storming in his brain at a parsec a second as pure adrenaline and horror wreaked havoc on his mind and body. It was a split-second call. Upon returning to the Chancellor's office, Anakin first saw the bodies of his former Jedi strewn about the ground with large lightsaber wounds visible on their body. As his fear and anger peaked, he dashed into the main room, only to find Master Windu and the Chancellor himself locked in saber combat.
It was the strangest thing, seeing old Palpatine move so unnaturally... The Force obviously augmented his strength and speed, but it was the tenacity and savage rage behind his strikes that disarmed Anakin so completely. Before he could will his body to move, Windu had cornered the Chancellor and disarmed him.
"You can't kill him!" Anakin cried, such a whirlwind of emotion had only allowed him to think of this statement. This Sith lord had to answer for his crimes, for his treachery... 'How stupid of me to have trusted him!' he thought.
"He's too dangerous to be left alive!" Windu cried, never shifting his gaze- or his lightsaber- from the cornered demon in front of him.
"He must stand trial!" Anakin returned, desperate for the power that Palpatine had offered him. His heart immediately ached for Padme. 'I will not let anything happen to her!' his heart cried. Anger and fiery heat began to course through his veins.
Before Anakin or Windu could continue their argument, the Chancellor, not as neutralized as Anakin had believed, struck out with an unnatural lightning attack, meant to kill the unsuspecting Mace Windu. The Jedi Master, however, quickly intercepted the attack with his lightsaber. Anakin had never seen such use of the Force - such malice incarnate.
It was apparently too much for the Sith lord, as it began to deflect upon him, disfiguring his body as he twisted inhumanly in agony. Such a horrible sight shook Anakin to his core. He had seen many atrocities in his time as a General, but this was something completely unheard of!
With the acrid smell of burnt flesh and smoke emanating from his body, the Chancellor slumped back, seemingly in defeat. A gut wrenching silence ensued.
"The time of the Sith is over," Windu proclaimed, gesturing with his blade as he spoke. Anakin could only watch in stunned silence. Never in his life had he been so dumbfounded, so useless. The Force was his ally, his strength, but at this moment it was only a blindfold. He could feel Palpatine's unbridled fury - a thing he had not thought possible from the mild mannered old man. It swirled around him and blared into Anakin's soul through the Force.
From his Jedi master, he felt almost nothing. It was something beyond anger, beyond revenge or any of the other emotions Anakin felt in his heart.
It was judgment. As Windu raised his blade to end the disarmed man's life, Anakin couldn't believe his eyes. Instantly, he thought of his wife, of his haunting premonitions, of his desperate need for Padme to be safe. Windu had barely begun to swing his blade when Anakin, in his maelstrom of emotion, sensed something; a warning from the Force. The wretched Palpatine's fury telegraphed his movement to send another blast of lightning toward the Jedi, who was halfway through his strike against the Sith. Of its own volition, Anakin's arm drew his blade with a cry of rage, though he had no knowledge of where he was striking. He, in that strange and inexplicable moment suspended in time, was a conduit of the Force. His wife, his expected child, were gone from his mind. In fact, he wasn't even sure his eyes were open as he swung his lightsaber in an upward arc.
A familiar sound of cauterized flesh, and a sickening silence in the instance after. Someone was dead. Anakin slowly opened his eyes, and beheld the unmoving body of the Chancellor before him. Mace Windu simply put out his blade, and responded to words Anakin didn't realize he had spoken.
It had instantly hit him. The fear. The anger. The nagging and insurmountable worry. All into one word: Padme. How could he save her now?
The dread instantly filled him, and he didn't doubt Jedi on the neighboring planets could sense it his emotion broadcast through the Force. How could he save Padme now?
Just what had he done?
"We must hurry, Skywalker." Windu grunted as he marched away from the horrible scene. His face was as emotionless as ever- something that irritated Anakin to no end. Sensing the young Jedi had not moved, Windu stopped and turned around, though Anakin was motionless. He was still on his knees, tears of frustration and confusion now crossing his cheeks.
"Anakin! We must report to the Council. I will need your testimonial." Windu added sternly. Anakin, however, still didn't budge. Palpatine's body lay before him, cleaved open by his lightsaber. Disfigured by Mace's defense against his Force lightning.
"Anakin! we must-"
"I heard you the first time," Anakin interrupted, with an edge of anger in his voice. Windu could feel the conflict within him. But the boy was a General of the Republic, he'd fought battles and seen worse than one evil man's death countless times. Why was he so shaken?
"Skywalker, I urge you to set this aside for now. We must report to Master Yoda and the Council and handle this appropriately." Windu continued, moving closer to the young man. Despite the boy's shock, the galaxy's fate hung in the balance. Why was he being so immature?
"I murdered him."
It was a statement of cold clarity. Windu could not think of a reply as the boy rose to his feet, an eerie calm taking his face. He turned towards the Jedi Master and continued,
"He was my friend and I-"
"The man you thought you knew was false. This man was a Sith Lord!" Windu began to raise his voice; was reason such a foreign concept to this boy?
"He was a traitor and a manipulator, Anakin! He has lied to us, to you, and to the entire galaxy for decades! Who knows what could have happened if his charade was allowed to continue," Mace reasoned, though Anakin seemed despondent.
"Murder is not the Jedi way!" Anakin cried, consumed by emotion. His cerulean eyes met Windu's hardened brown ones.
"Calm down." Windu insisted. "You did what had to be done," he repeated. "You have brought-"
"Don't you dare quote that sham of a prophecy to me! Not now!" Anakin interrupted again, sensing his Master's intent. Since he was just a boy, he had heard the other Jedi always whisper about the 'Chosen One'. How sick it made him to hear these words now! How could he bring balance to anything when he just murdered his oldest friend and damned his wife to die? He was powerless. He was no savior.
"Anakin, unless you want to see this galaxy torn apart by the ramifications of this man's actions, you will come with me now!" windu barked, his patience now lost.
"This is a very delicate situation we're in, and it must be handled properly. I sense that his true identity will be more than just a shock to the people of the Republic." Windu sighed. "I need your help, Anakin. I told you that you would have my trust, and your actions today have earned that. Please, help me bring peace back to the galaxy."
Anakin shifted his feet, doubt crossing his face. An hour ago, these words would have filled him with joy, but now they were only empty. Knowing the truth of Windu's words, the young man let out a lofty sigh and waved his hands in defeat.
"Fine. I will stand before the council with you." he finally said.
"Good. We must go now." Windu replied as he turned on his heel and left.
Anakin followed him somewhat reluctantly, taking a moment to spot Padme's apartment among the skyline. The same thought flashed in his mind:
What have I done?
"Disturbing, this development is." Master Yoda stated grimly. All around him, his fellow Jedi masters were experiencing the broad spectrum of disbelief and shock. Obi Wan simply studied Anakin's face with worry, his hand stroking his beard as he often did.
"It begs the question of what must be done next." Windu inserted, and the atmosphere seemed to become even heavier.
The masters all seemed to defer to Yoda, and had declined to offer suggestions until he spoke.
"The truth, we must reveal to all." he began. "Panic, the people will, when they learn of Palpatine's death. Context, we must provide."
"It would be disastrous if people got the impression that he was murdered by the Jedi without cause. We must have some kind of evidence of his Sith identity," Obi Wan said. Anakin had not thought that far ahead. How would they find proof if he had kept such a secret from everyone for so long?
"What proof would we need? We would barely need proof of his Sith ties; his hunger for power and more time in office was evident enough to me from the beginning!" Master Mundi inserted, earning a few nods from other masters. Anakin, however, was not pleased.
"That's without mentioning that it would reflect badly on the Jedi when it became known that a Sith lord was running the Republic right under our noses," Windu added.
"A Sith lord manipulated an entire government, and you're worrying about how it will make us look bad!?" Anakin blurted with no small amount of ire.
"Failed, we have, hmm." Yoda said. "But correct, Master Windu is. Perhaps best, it is, that some details be omitted from the official report to the public. For the sake of the people"
Another silence ensued. Anakin looked around the council chamber, unable to believe what he was hearing. The masters simply averted their gaze in acceptance.
"For the sake of the people? It's for the sake of the people that we exist! But we failed. The galaxy put their faith in the Jedi, and we failed them all! How could we lie to the galaxy and pretend this isn't our fault?" Anakin demanded. None of the Masters seemed willing to respond; guilt and shame was evident on their faces.
"Clouded all, the Dark Side has. Fooled us all, Palpatine did. It is-"
"No." Anakin interrupted. Now his fellow Jedi looked up - nobody ever interrupted Master Yoda.
"No. It is too convenient to just blame the Dark Side. We've been too caught up in our... no, your ways, to have seen it! We are supposed to oppose the Sith and protect the beings of our galaxy. Now a Sith lord undermines and manipulates us, and you would only sweep it under the rug? Unbelievable!" Anakin continued as he rose to his feet.
"You forget yourself, Knight Skywalker." Mace Windu interjected, with emphasis on the honorific. Frustration laced his face, and tensions rose from all in the room.
"No. The Jedi have forgotten themselves. We are lost. You are all lost." Anakin seethed.
"Anakin-" Obi-Wan could only begin his attempt at placation, but Anakin's temper had given out.
"No, Obi-Wan! I can't take this any longer! What is this entire war for if our enemy has been pulling our strings? He had us all under his thumb, and you are all calm! This is outrageous, and you should all be as upset as I am!" he now locked eyes with his former master.
"Obi-Wan, you taught me that the Jedi are to protect those in need, and to be stewards of truth and justice in the galaxy. Are you really going to go along with this farce!?"
"Control your emotions, Skywalker" Windu barked, but the young man was inconsolable.
"As a Jedi should? You were awfully supportive when ignored the code and murdered a man today and saved your neck. A man who should have had a trial and paid for his actions."
"That is different-"
"No it isn't! You are all hypocrites!" Anakin cried, now pacing around the room. Hot anger and disbelief threatened to send flames from his eyes. The masters were all visibly offended, but Anakin provided no room to talk.
"I was a fool for wanting to sit on a council of such blind bureaucrats. I've no need to be here. You can clean up your own mess; I want nothing to do with this Order." He spat, turning on his heel to exit.
"Wait, Anakin! Where are you going?" Obi-Wan cried, finally rising from his seat to follow his friend. Anakin only half turned his head, and without stopping, replied:
"I'm going home to my wife."
Though he couldn't see or hear them as the door shut behind him, Anakin could feel their reactions through the Force. Indignation, shock, contempt, and worst of all,
heartbreak. He could feel Obi-Wan's sadness, his shock - and his revelation of just who Anakin's wife must be. It hurt to leave his friend and master in such a way, but Anakin could no longer stand for their dogma. There was no amount of guilt after revealing his transgression of attachment; of his breaking of their precious outdated code. Was his whole life spent in the service of someone else's design? Were the Jedi any less manipulative than Palpatine?
His entire world was swirling down a black hole, and at the center of it was one person, his everything: Padme. Terror now coursed through his veins. What if Palpatine was right, and only he could save her? He couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't. An image of the plaguing dream flashed behind his eyes.
Of their own accord, his legs took him away through the temple, and he was only partially aware of fastening the seatbelt in his star fighter as his mind stormed. R2 blipped something to him, but nothing would break his reverie. He was headed to his world, his love, for she was the only thing in this whole damn galaxy that made him feel whole. Unencumbered. He had to get to Padme. He had to beg for her forgiveness for being too weak to save her.
Such thoughts boiled in his mind as he flew the few miles to his wife's apartment. After everything, he needed to just feel her in his arms.
It was just like the beginning of the war. In the year or so after the battle on Geonosis, after the wedding, Anakin remembered clearly going to his home on furlough and simply collapsing into Padme's arms. She would simply whisper soothing nothings to him as he attempted to hold the tears for his lost comrades and friends as he struggled to recount the horrors he had seen. She would hold him as he wordlessly clung to her like a child as he loathed himself for his weakness, for his display of vulnerability. He could sleep next to her and eat a meal with her before having to ship off and again become the Hero With No Fear.
That was four years ago. He hadn't had such a break after the reality of the war had crushed his ability to weep. But Padme held him nonetheless upon each return. He hadn't cried after Satine's death, he hadn't said anything when Ahsoka left the Order. And still she held him and loved him, whispering her encouragement and consolations. Even when he couldn't stop his padawan from leaving. What a fool he'd been to turn a blind eye to the Order's incompetence! For all of her shortcomings, Ahsoka was a wise kid, and he should have taken the hint then. Was that when he began losing faith in the Jedi?
And now, he had failed to acquire the power to save her and foil his premonition. Would she still be so calm and loving? They had been married for four years, and he was still surprised by her undying devotion.
As if she knew of his struggle, his beautiful wife was already standing by the apartment's landing deck. Anakin hurriedly unbuckled the seatbelt and leaped out of the ship, allowing R2 to perform the shutdown procedures.
"Anakin, what's wrong?" Padme asked, her face laced with concern. the young Jedi pulled her into a deep embrace, feeling their child kick in her womb as he did so.
"A lot," he sighed. resting his hands on her waist, he stared into her chestnut brown eyes.
"Ani, you're giving me that look again," she chided, "please, talk to me."
"I'm sorry, love. Just... come inside. I'll explain. Just let me hold you for a minute first."
Of course Padme obliged him, but a stabbing worry invaded the back her mind. Ever since a few months ago, her husband had been acting awfully... odd. He had seemed more and more distant, and the intermittent visits from the war front had allowed her no time to discover the cause.
Eager to help her husband, Padme grabbed his hand and ambled towards the couch. He seemed to be in a haze - one didn't need to be Force sensitive to know that he was disturbed by something. Ever the patient politician, she sat beside him, hands intertwined with his, and allowed him to speak when he was ready. Of course he was reticent, but he always confided in Padme when she didn't push him.
The words he spoke, however, were beyond the last she ever expected to hear.
"A Sith lord!? I don't... I don't know what to say." she choked. Somehow part of her could believe it, but such a wild revelation refused to compute in her mind.
"I killed him, Padme. I... he was about to kill Master Windu, and I reacted. It was like my body acted on its own! I didn't want to, but it all happened so fast..." Anakin's eyes now went to the floor, and suddenly Padme saw the nineteen year old Anakin she began to fall in love with; so full of passion and impatience, so encumbered by impulsive action. He was capable of such depth of emotion, she wondered how he bore it all.
"Anakin, if what say is true then you did the right thing! Don't feel guilty for doing your duty as a Jedi. To be honest with you, I'm not completely surprised to hear this. Palpatine has been... acting suspicious lately. I couldn't say I guessed such a... drastic development, but his intentions were anything but pure."
The young man met his wife's eyes again, but could only sigh. The issue was much too complicated to discuss every word - his attachment to the revealed Sith, his guilt for murdering a father figure, but Padme understood these things. Instead of wasting words, he moved on to the next weight on his heart.
"The Jedi want to cover it up." he said simply.
Padme now reacted, disbelief covering her features.
"Cover it up? How would they do that? What do you mean?"
"They intend to hide his identity as a Sith lord. They feel that it would cause the people to panic and lose faith in the war and the Republic. They refuse to let the people know a Sith manipulated the galaxy's protectors, so they would hide that fact and pretend it never existed!" Anakin's voice rose as he spoke, and Padme held his hand tighter.
"I can't believe that..." she breathed in defeat.
"It's true! I was there in the council chamber when they-"
"Darling, I'm not saying you aren't telling the truth. I just... I can't believe the Jedi would lie to the whole Republic! That doesn't seem like them.."
The two only looked at each other in silence. Anakin wasn't lying. He was a terrible liar, not that he ever blatantly did so to her. This only left the gravity of the situation to seep in.
"What about Obi-Wan? I can't imagine he would go along with such a cover up," Padme questioned, but her husband's change in demeanor made he wish she hadn't.
"He certainly didn't speak against it," he spat, leaving the couch to pace as he did when angry.
"They all made me an outsider. I told them they were wrong for wanting to cover this up, and all I got was their usual condescension! If they are such great Masters, why am I the only one advocating the truth!?"
"Honey, I didn't-"
"And Master Windu! I saved his life today, Padme, and he looked down his nose and tried to order me around like a padawan!" Anakin fumed. "It was his idea to cover this all up! He didn't even thank me for accidentally saving his life!"
At that last sentence, Anakin spun to face Padme with wide eyes.
"Accidentally? What do you mean, Ani?" she questioned, walking to meet her husband in an embrace. Such pain on his face... she wished she could just make it all go away.
"I... I don't know." he diverted his eyes. He could never face Padme when he felt guilty.
But guilt never enabled him to lie to her, either.
"When... when I swung my lightsaber, i think I meant to hit Master Windu."
"And... why would you do that?"
Anakin now faced her, and intense and hungry stare set in his eyes, one that begged to be understood.
"The Chancellor could have saved you. He told me that if the Jedi killed him, I couldn't-"
"This again, Ani? I told you I'm fine. The doctors have said I'm in perfect health, and-"
"No, Padme! You haven't had these dreams before! I won't lose you like I lost my mother!"
A long stare. So that was it. He had been acting weird ever since he began having those dreams, and no matter what she said, he always seemed to be less than convinced. Always worried. What could she say, when she watched him bury the mother he had dreamt he'd lose?
"Ani, I know you're worried. But if he really was a Sith lord, then I wouldn't want to be saved by his power. I don't want you too deep in something you can't control! I would die before I let you enslave yourself to darkness for me!" Padme replied, her voice rising for some unacknowledged reason. Was she worried he would be right too? Either way, she had seen Anakin's foray into the darkness. She had witnessed his despair after killing those sand people. If dying meant he would never have to feel that way again, she would choose death without question. The intensity of his stare now reminded her of that fateful day on Tattooine. She didn't like it.
"Don't say that, Padme. I don't know what I'd do without you," his voice now began to crack. She knew he hated to cry, but the man needed it. So many things had happened to him in the last five years, and even more in the last five hours. Even she couldn't believe today's developments. But as the last vestiges of sunlight fell below the horizon, Padme resolved to leave those immense burdens for tomorrow. Tonight, she would be there for her husband. It was so great to feel him against her, even if he was so distraught.
"Ani, he could have been lying. He could have been manipulating you for who knows how long." she breathed into his neck.
"It was the only hope..." he lamented.
"No. I'm sorry, but I don't believe it, Ani. I'm more than healthy, and I just don't... feel like anything will happen to me or this baby." her hand led his to her enlarged belly. "Call it mother's intuition. It's under the umbrella of Force sense." she added matter-of-factly.
"Have faith, darling. In me. Won't you stand with me, for our child's sake?"
The tiniest of smiles pulled on Anakin's lips. He wasn't fully convinced, but Padme prided herself on knowing how to tame her firebrand of a husband.
"Anything. Anything for you, my love."