Rubinia, my beautiful friend, this is for you. Enjoy, my love. -huggles-
Oh, and all the others here on FF that may read this, I hope you do to!
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"But why can't you love someone other then yourself?" Ryou screamed, tears breaking free and tiny hands curling into frustrated balls.
"You know I can't answer that, hikari."
"And you know, that isn't true!"
"Then what is true? About me? What is, really? You can't say you know me. No one does. Not even myself." The whitehaired thief said, talking care not to look at the food in front of him. He hated food. He hated to eat. To chew. Everything that had something to do with food, he despiced.
Ryou sighed, dramatically. "I do know you. You're anorectic, insane, sadistic and above all, very self-destructive. It's a wonder you've survived this long. I mean, ten suicide atempts? Why do you wish for death so strongly, my yami?" Ryou placed his hand on one of Bakuras, locking eyes with him.
Bakura looked away and made a face. "I am not anorectic."
"…You're looking like a stick of walking bones, so what should I call it when you're not eating?" He tried to say, when suddenly Bakura slowly walked away from the dining table.
"Leave me. I need some time alone. Go out and walk the dog or something."
"We don't have a dog, Bakura…" Ryou looked at him with eyes that would make a normal person burst into tears of regret, but oh no, not the almighty Tomb Robber and Egyptian Thief, no way in hell.
Bakura snarled deeply, only to wobble a little where he stood.
"Y-You okay…?" Ryou came to his rescue, quickly supporting the thin, fragile and scarred body.
"Yeah. I said, leave me, Ryou. I can't stand beeing around you tonight."
"Well, tonight is the night that you have to. I'm not leaving you alone, seeing those foggy eyes of yours. You were planning to cut yourself as soon as I had left, right…?" The shorter of the two sighed, looking awfully sad.
"N-No… I was only planning to… to go to sleep, that's all." Bakura lied through gritted teeth of pain.
"Liar."
"Fuck you, Ryou."
Ryou laughed dryly. "If this would've been the first time I meet you, I'd be hurt by those words. But I'm not, so what is a broken yami to do?" He patted his darkness on the head and walked with him upstairs to put the sickly thin one into bed.
"Do as you said you would do, sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
"Meaning; you'll be here watching me all night."
"Exactly."
Bakura snorted and rolled over to buiry his head into the pillow. All he could think of was causing himself pain, but Ryou stood in the way for that. As always. Damnit.
It didn't take long for him to drift into a sleepless slumber, so Ryou took the opportunity to crawl down beside him, giving his yami all the warmth he could offer. He made a face of pure worry, as he heard the breathing of his other half. Barely audible and very shallow. Ryou guessed it was because he didn't eat much. He didn't eat at all, only drank alcohol or energy drinks to keep himself as alert as possible. That didn't work, ofcourse, it only made him even more self-destructive.
Ryou feared for Bakuras life.
He'd atempted suicide almost eleven times. The more resent one was trying to cut open his wrists by smashing a window. Luckily, Ryou had find Bakura, just in time to see him run towards it. He'd screamed at Ryou to walk away, to leave him to his own misery, to leave him to die. But Ryou and Bakura (even though it didn't seem like it) had a very strong bound, and beeing without each other for more then a few hours made them both go totally nuttie.
"Ryou? You awake?"
Ryous eyes quickly shot open, searching through the dark to be able to see the outlines of Bakuras barely visible body.
"I'm awake… What's wrong?"
"I'm scared. Scared of myself." Bakura whispered, curling into Ryous loving embrace and crying as soft as a wounded child.
"I-Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Ryou hugged him tightly.
"Uhm… Can't we… make love? Like before… When everyone was happy…" Bakura looked up, sorrow and a flash of hope in his eyes.
Now Ryou began to wonder, if Bakura really was sick… He'd never asked anything like that before, and him taking on the role as the Uke was a very, very rare thing. Ryou gulped, but nodded, despite the weak feeling of beeing taken advantage of. But Bakura would never hurt him, not during sex. Well, if Ryou wanted him to, he would, but this time, Ryou wasn't so keen on beeing sliced in again.
Bakuras face lit up and he gave in completely under Ryous creamy, white hands.
Ryou wondered again, for the last time, even though Bakura looked sick to the world… Did the steel-hearted egyptian still love him?
And as he bent down to kiss him, seeing the beautiful smile on his lips, Ryou knew that... atleast a bit of love was behind that tough exterior of his... beloved yami...