Note: Just a little something I thought of last night, and pieced it together real quick, thanks for trying it, and reading.
"My lords, my lords. Here is what I say to these two kings..." Started the Greatjon, walking to the center of the hall, twisting around slowly as he viewed the court of lords. He spit to the floor, spit to the Iron Throne. The hall gave a round of applause and a few laughs, Robb however listened intently to the large man in front of him. "Renly Baratheon is nothing to me, nor Stannis neither. Why should they rule over me and mine, from some flowery seat in the south? What do they know of the wall, or the Wolfswood. Even their gods are wrong!" He spat to the south, smiling afterward. The hall gave more laughs and cheers.
"Why shouldn't we rule ourselves again? It was the dragons we bowed to, and now the dragons are dead." He said, drawing his sword from it's scabbard, a shinging sound coming from the metal on metal reaction. "There sits the only king I mean to bend my knew to." He said, turning around and kneeling to Robb, his sword pointed at the Lord of the North. "The King in the North!" He yelled, waiting for a reaction from any of the councils participants. Robb's face remained humbled, as he stood from his chair next to his dining table.
"I'll have peace on those terms. They can keep their red castle, and their iron chair too." Another Northern lord roared to the audience, also drawing his sword, and kneeling to Robb. "The King in the North." He stated, and gave a nod to his King.
Theon stood to his feet, gaining Robb's attention. "Am I your brother? Now and always?" He asked, resting a hand on his sword.
"Now and always." Robb confirmed, a smile graced Theon's lips with Robb's words.
"My sword is yours, in victory and defeat." He said, kneeling in between the other two lords. "From this day, until my last day."
"The King in the North!" Jon Umber bellowed, a cold breath flying from his mouth. "The King in the North!" The rest of the lords cheered in unison. They dropped to their knees, and drew their swords all the same, throwing their drinks down to be the first on the ground. "The King in the North, The King in the North!" They continued, a smile made of mostly shock forming on Robb's lips. He turned to see his mother, who gave him a loving smile back, accepting his coronation as king.
It was an admirable thing of them all to do, make Robb king, and Robb loved it, at first. At the beginning of battles, and at the end, and every time in between they cheered it. He swelled with pride every time they mentioned it, until now. It got to the point where Robb almost regretted becoming king, for the soul reason of not wanting to hear his lords yell the same thing over and over.
A morning had begun with Robb taking a walk through his camps, having small chats with soldiers and lords alike. He made his way to a lake, and a man leaning a hand against the tree as a stream flowed from under him. "Soldier, let's not relieve ourselves this close to the lake, okay." Robb demanded more than asked. The man-at-arms turned to see his king, quickly hidding his parts with his hands.
"Sorry my king, I just had to go really bad." He apologized, buttoning his pants up.
"It's okay, lets not let it happen aga-" Robb was interupted by a chorus of cheering.
"The King in the North!" Jon Umber and a host of thousands of soldiers stood behind him with their swords at the ready. "The King in the North!" They roared together, shaking their weapons at the lone man by the tree. "The King in the North!" They yelled once more, and charged them man-at-arms. He took flight, kicking the dirt and grass up behind him as he ran for help.
"Wait! Stop!" Robb yelled to his soldiers, earning their attention immediately. "Leave him alone, he didn't do anything worthy of a killing." Robb protested, frowning to his men.
Their eyes met the floor, and they dispersed reluctantly. "The King in the North..." They groaned, trudging away through the muddy ground. Robb rolled his eyes to them, and left for his tent.
Back at his tent, at the hour of night, he had Talisa waiting on his bed, clothed in a green dress trimmed with white. "Robb, I'm waiting." She tempted him, kicking her legs freely at the edge of the bed.
"I can see that." He said, walking slowly up to her side, and sitting next to her on the bed. "And you will wait no longer." He teased, taking his hand up to her shoulder, sliding part of her dress off.
"The king in the North." He heard the words whispered from outside his tent.
"Did you hear something?" He asked his wife, the Queen.
"Nope." She said quickly, placing her hands on his chest, rubbing them over his muscled body.
He shrugged, and continued undressing his wife. He let another arm of her dress fall. He heard the same whisper again. "The King in the North." It had a hint of a familiar voice in it.
"There! Did you hear it!" Robb yelled, bolting up from the bed, and looking around in his tent.
"No, I didn't hear a thing, now come back to bed." She demanded, patting a spot on their brown furred bed.
"I could have sworn I heard something." He said cautiously, squinting his eyes around the tent. She patted the bed again, looking impatient. "Fine." He gave in, and took his seat next to her.
She grabbed the sides of his bearded face, kissing him lightly on the lips. He returned the chaste kiss, and closed his eyes as she did. He thought he heard movement besides his or his wife's in the tent, but he paid no mind to it, and instead focused on the feel of his wife's lips. They parted their kiss, smiling at each other, and opening up their eyes. "The King in the North!" Jon Umber roared with several other lords inside the tent with him. The sound scared Robb, he hopped back to the edge of the bed, and his eyes opened wide.
"What are you doing in my tent?" He asked, covering his shirtless body with a cover.
"The King in the North!" Jon Umber answered, yelling blindly with the rest of his host. "The King in the North!" They followed in his yell.
"Get out now!" Robb yelled, pointing a finger to the tent's opening.
They gave a puppy dog look again, and trotted out of the tent. "The King in the North..." They said in a sad tone as they exited.
"Damn, they never leave me alone." Robb groaned, folding his arms over his chest.
Robb had taken the next morning to have a bath in the washing lake. The lake was abandoned of any other users, so only the king could attend to it. Robb gave a small smile, and slowly submerged himself in the lake, sighing with relief as the cool water calmed him. Robb traced his hands over his body, giving himself a thorough washing, and smiling to himself as he let the peace sink in. The birds chirping their songs around the trees. The full-leaved trees giving a large amount of shade to the location. And the water calmly rocked from left to right in the water, making small peaceful waves.
"Peace at last." Robb hummed to himself, closed his eyes and let the cool water fill his warm and stressed self.
"Blub blub blub blub blub." He heard the water let bubbles escape the surface, popping at the top of the lake. He eyed it for a second, wondering what could have made the bubbled, but he paid no mind to it. "Blub blub blub blub blub!" More bubbles surfaced all around him, almost shaking the ground around the water. He opened his eyes, fearing a sea monster to rise from the small lake he stood in. But all that rose was a Greatjon, naked and cheering the same motto. "The King in the North! The King in the North!" More lords surfaced around him, also bearing no clothes.
Their hair soaked and sticking to their faces, drops of water shooting from their lips as they screamed. "The King in the North!" Robb examined the Greatjon's chest, seeing the small gray hairs cut to a design. The design engraved in hairs on his chest was letters, it read, "I Love TKITN." Robb's face lost any expression, and he simply walked past them and made his way back to the camp, wrapping a fur around his body.
Robb was at his war table, discussing plans for a siege of Casterly Rock. He traced his hands around the map as he described the battle plan. "Okay, we could make our way around the Crag and come down from-"
"The King in the North!" Umber interrupted him, slamming a fist on the war table.
"That's all good and well my lord, but we need a plan." Robb protested, shaking his head to the large man.
"The... King... in... the... North." Jon slowly said to his king, squinting his eyes at him, trying to get his five worded point across.
"I don't get it, you're as bad as Hodor now." Robb threw his arms in the air, and started pacing the length of the war table.
"The King in the North!" More soldiers cheered, their eyes smiling and mouths open.
"That's it! The next time someone says that, they're getting beheaded! You all understand me?" Robb screamed, stomping a foot on the ground and slamming his hands on the table. "Yes?" He asked, looking between his overly-loyal followers. They all gave single nods and slowly departed the room. "And how is it you guys come out of nowhere, you guys are all pretty sneaky, I'll give you that." Robb complimented them, earning a few smiles. A man opened his mouth, as if he'd yell the chant, but Robb eyed him a death stare and shook his head. The man backed off and left the tent.
At the feast for Edmure and Roslin, Robb twisted a silver utensil in his hands, playing with it as he waited for the feast to end. His soldiers haven't uttered the words since he last told them to keep quiet, and he regretted it. He didn't know how good it made him feel until it was gone, and he frowned as he remembered the good times. He chuckled to himself, thinking of Jon Umber and how he was always there to save the day with a chant, but Jon wasn't at this feast, he was in a room down the hall, eating separately.
Lord Walder clapped his hands to the room, gaining silence. "My King, I owe you a gift, since I haven't shown you the hospitality you deserve." He said, chuckling lightly, and eying Robb's wife who sat alone at a dinner table.
A son of Walder Frey walked up behind Talisa, a knife in his hands, Robb reached out to her but wouldn't have made it in time. Thankfully someone else did. Jon Umber dropped from the ceiling, cracking the stone under him with a large thud. He stared menacingly at the Frey and gripped his throat with a single hand, and rose him several feet in the air. "The King in the North!" Umber yelled, and a stream of yellow liquid trailed down the Frey's leg and out of his pants. Umber squeezed the Frey's neck like it was a grape, popping a red and chunky fleshy blood. The Frey's head now decapitated, rolled around on the floor.
Talisa looked to Jon Umber, who gave her a small smile and then looked to Walder. "The King in the North!" He yelled, shaking his arms violently. His voice alerted the rest of Robb's men to their swords, they got up and started slicing anyone who was a Frey, or wore the Frey banner. The doors blasted open, the hinges breaking and wood panels flying in the air. Robb's wolf and several Northmen pooled into the hall, biting and slicing at their enemies.
Robb still wasn't sure what was happening, but he knew it was treachery. He turned his attention to Walder Frey, seeing him cower and shriveling in his chair. Robb stood next to the Greatjon, and uttered a phrase. "The King in the North." Robb said, drawing his sword, along Jon Umber, who smiled at Robb's words.
"The King in the North!" Umber cheered, charging Frey with Robb at his side. They lunged their swords at the Lord Frey, piercing him in his traitors chest.
Robb heard a yell come from Catelyn. "Robb!" She wailed, pointing at Roose Bolton who ran for cover.
Robb stepped toward him, but was cut off by Umber, who place a hand on Robb's chest. "The King in the North." Umber said, taking leaps that spanned several meters, and taking to the air when he was close enough. He tackled Roose to the floor, and raised his hands high in the air. Roose hesitated, covering his face in fear and shame. Several musicians took crossbows from a hidden location and raised them to Robb's head from above. Umber noticed and made use of Roose's living body.
Umber took Bolton by the shoulders and flung him to the ledge above Walder's dining table, smashing into the band. The Greatjon walked to the supports under the ledge as a massacre of Freys ensued around him, and smashed them both with his hands. The wooden walkway came crumbling down, timbers cracking and creaking as it fell, the occupants landed in front of Umber's feet. "The King... In the North." He said to them, as they looked up in fear. He pulled a greatsword from the ground, laying next to a dead Frey. He cocked it to the right and over his head as if it was a club, and with a single swipe sliced through the last of the traitors.
Talisa, Catelyn, and a new guest walked up to Robb and Umber with a grungy looking man behind her. Arya tread around and past the dead enemies and looked up to Robb. "Robb!" She screamed, tears pouring from her eyes as she jumped up to him. He grabbed onto her and gave the same reaction, lightly crying and laughing to her.
"It's good to see you too Arya." Talisa wrapped her arm around Robb's, and planted a kiss on his cheek. Arya narrowed her eyebrows for a second, but then understood who the woman was.
"I suppose you're my sister now." Arya grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. "I guess you'll do." She said, turning to her mother to give her the same hug.
"You must be..." A strong, tall, and scarred man said to Robb. Robb noticed him to be the Hound, and realized he must be why Arya made it here safely.
"The King in the North." Jon Umber answered, wiping blood from his hands. And with that, Robb was finally glad to hear the words, the words that saved his life, his family. Robb embraced his most loyal bannerman in a strong armed hug, smiling to the old man. Robb would never doubt it again, he was truly the King in the North.
Note: So please, tell me how you liked it or not, and if you thought it was funny or not.