Steve has been desperately trying to make life easier for Bucky since he found him.
The person Steve found four months ago isn't quite Bucky. But he isn't quite The Winter Soldier anymore either. He's somewhere in between. Broken and torn between two worlds.
Steve can see it in his eyes. He knows James remembers who he used to be, and he sees how desperately he wants to be good again.
But Bucky is good. If Steve could just show him that. Deep down, Bucky has always been good. It was him being good that got him that got him in this mess in the first place. He was just following orders when he boarded that train with Steve, just as he was following orders when he was brain washed.
Which is why Steve found himself talking to Natasha about this. Natasha knew better than anyone what Bucky must be going through.
They met in a local café. Natasha released her fiery hair from a pony tail and let it flow down her shoulders and back. "So what exactly do you think I can help you with?"
Steve sighed, resting his head on his hand and hunching over the small coffee table that almost made him look ridiculously large.
"I don't exactly know Nat….I just figured, you would know better than I would ya know?" He let out another sigh. "It's just, he's trying so hard, but it's just not working for him. He answers yes and no questions, and does what I ask him, like help around with chores to keep him busy, write in his diaries to hold on to his memories….. But he's just not opening up to me. And maybe he can't." Steve sat back up now, pushing on the table to set his back firmly in the curved back rest that came up midway to his spine. "Maybe I just have to accept the fact that this is who he is now, but he's my friend, and I lov-…. I care about him Nat….you understand that don't you?"
Natasha rested a hand on one of Steve's balled up fists. Steve quickly became aware he was clenching his fists and relaxed at the touch.
"Of course I know Steve. Have you ever thought maybe you BOTH have to meet each other half way?" Her eyes stared directly into Steve's but they were soft and caring.
Steve was glad he had Natasha by his side in all of this.
"What do you mean?" Steve cocked his head slightly and gave his signature confused look that became oh so familiar to Natasha when Steve didn't understand a current reference or inside joke.
"Well…" She took a long pause as she decided what she was going to say to her friend. "You have to promise this stays between us Rogers." Natasha pointed a finger in his face, her expression turning stern.
Steve gulped and leaned in closer, as if she was about to tell her how to crack the code that would get his best friend back. "I promise."
She folded both hands in front of her and continued speaking calmly, although Steve could swear she had a blush on her face. "When I first got out of my…training…" She began. "When Clint found me… and brought me to this side of the fight. I found it….difficult to blend in you might say." She shifted in her seat, there was definitely a blush forming now. "Taking orders is all I ever knew. And when I had free will again, it was overwhelming. I didn't know what to do with it all." She paused, studying Steve's face carefully before continuing. "Steve, I know you aren't exactly caught up with everything so I'm just going to be blunt about it… Are you at all familiar with dominant and submissive culture?"
Steve blinked. "I uh….I've heard about it. From that new movie that came out and on the internet. But, Bucky and I aren't….we aren't like tha-."
"I know." She interrupted. "But that stupid movie doesn't do justice to what the culture is actually like. It doesn't have to be a sexual relationship, Steve. It's just…. It helped me through a hard time in my life. Clint being my dominant was what got me through everything. And we were never sexual, or even romantic. He just kept me in check and took care of me. Maybe that's what Bucky needs. Someone to take care of him while he can't take care of himself yet." She paused to let Steve's mind catch up. "Listen, Bucky has been taking orders and doing what he's told for many years now. And he's hasn't had to do anything for himself. HYDRA did it for him. They cleaned him, dressed him, and even trained him. It's not easy to switch from that to…. Doing everything yourself. You're already such a caring person Steve, you would make a good Dom."
Steve's head was spinning. He leaned back again to try to regain himself. I would make a wonderful what? He thought to himself.
"So… you and Sam… Is he your Dom now? Er… romantically this time?"
Natasha gave him a wryly smile while she pulled her mug close to her lips and looked at him through her eyelashes. "You really think I still need a Dom Rogers?" She sipped at her drink. "I am a dominant now. Sam loves it. And he's a good boy."
Steve choked, and his eyes became wide at what his friend just revealed to him about his other (close) friend.
"Sam… takes orders?!" He sputtered.
Natasha calmly placed her mug back on the table after finishing her sip. "I don't know why you're so surprised Steve. He is a soldier, he's good at taking orders. And bringing dom/sub lifestyle into a romantic relationship can really spice things up. You know, in case you and Bucky ever do decide to confess your undying love and loyalty to each other." She was teasing him now. The whole group of Avenger's teased Steve and Bucky, but Steve didn't care. He has his best friend back and that was enough for him.
"Yeah right…" Steve shook his head at the mocking jab he just received and then switched to a more serious tone again. "But, I don't know how to be a… 'Dom'." Steve struggled.
Natasha stroked some whipped cream off the side of Steve's face that he wasn't aware was there and met his eyes. "I can help you. I'll teach you all I know. About dominants and submissives. Although something tells me that Bucky is going to take right to this. I really think this will help him Steve, or else I wouldn't have brought it up. You know that right?"
"I know." Steve said shortly and finished his coffee. "Well, I better start doing some research on my own for now, Sam will be waiting for you. I hope you two have a nice date Nat." Steve cut Natasha off while rising from his seat before she could say anything. "And I won't tell anyone. I promise."
Natasha smiled as he left the café. "I'll text you!" She hollered after him.
