The Ties That Bind Us
When you grow up on the East side of town, you find out who really has your back at a pretty young age. You find out who's gonna come when the cards are all laid out on the table and who's gonna be a chicken shit and high tail it outta there. If you're lucky, your folks raised you to fight for what you believed in. If your ma was like ours, you got lucky enough to have a whole gang of brother's backing you up when it's time to prove yourself.
My mother was very close to Martha Curtis for as long as I could remember. My brother, Josiah, and I grew up playing with the Curtis boys. Josiah and Darry were the same age, both smart and super athletic. They were always out in the yard throwing a ball around while our moms sat on the porch drinking tea and chatting about what was going on in life.
I was a year older than Sodapop and though we weren't always close, because at one point girls and boys just didn't get along, as we got older, we found friendship between us, along with Steve Randle. And golly, was Steve Randle the complete opposite of the happy go lucky Sodapop.
My first kiss was when I was twelve and Soda and me were tired of waiting for the right person to come along. Glory, did our mothers chew us out when they found us kissin' in Soda's backyard. My ma gave me a wicked lickin' for that decision. Maybe that's why I stopped caring if guys looked at me funny when I walked around dressed in a leather jacket and baggy jeans, my dark hair cut short and slicked back with grease. Maybe that's why I never brought a guy home. I didn't have time for guys. I was too busy bein' one of 'em.
I remember when Ponyboy was born, my folks had Darry and Soda stay over while Martha and Mr. Curtis got settled with their latest addition. Eleven years later, when my sister Rosemary was born, me and Josiah stayed with the Curtis's while our folks got settled.
The friendship between us grew as we did, getting stronger and stronger each year. While being the only girl amongst a whole gang of boys was hard at times, it made me tough. It made me different from all the other girls in our neighborhood. It made me tough and smart and quick. And it made me careful. Because I was constantly being reminded that I had not one, but two older brothers who would knock someone flat for tryin' anything with me.
"It is with great sadness," the minister said, his hands crossed in front of him.
Tears welled in my eyes as I held my baby sister in my arms, my mother and father sobbing at my side. The cemetery was filled with people dressed in black. It seemed like the entire neighborhood had come out to see my brother off, though in reality, it was mostly classmates and our gang and their folks.
"A young soul taken far too soon."
"Roxy, why's ma and pa sad?" Rosemary asked innocently. She was only 2. She couldn't understand the tragedy that was surrounding her.
"Josie went to heaven," I told her, trying my best to hold back tears. I had to be strong. For my folks, for my sister, I had to be strong. "God needed another angel."
"But Josie come home, right?" she asked me, turning to look me in the eyes.
"No baby, Josie went home to heaven," I said again, my voice hitching. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Darry giving me a knowing look. We had just been through this a week prior. I had stood beside him and his family as they laid their parents to rest.
"Like Mart'a and Mr. 'Urtis?" Rosemary asked, her innocence so pure in a moment so dark.
"Yes, baby, like Darry's parents," I said softly. I kissed her golden locks before passing her to my mother, who took her in shaking hands.
"If anyone from Josiah's family would like to speak," the minister said, nodding in our direction. I took a deep breath and nodded to my parents. We had prepared ourselves for this already.
I made my way to the front of the crowd, trying my best to keep my hands from shaking while I turned to the crowd of people staring at me with sad, sorry eyes.
"Josiah was and always will be an amazing big brother," I started, my voice shaking as I spoke. "He was strong, and brave, and smart. But he was too brave for his own good sometimes. He was too stubborn, too careless. If you were to ask our friends, they would say he was always laughing, no matter what life threw at him. But Josiah Adam Davis was only truly happy when he was testing fate, testing his limits, beating the odds. Josiah went out doing what he loved most. He loved the danger that came with rodeo. He loved the thrill. He sought it out. And he would want us to remember him for his wild spirit. He would want us to remember him as the young, wild child he was. So don't cry for my brother. He went out the way he wanted to. He went out following his dream. And while god took him home far too soon, he got to go out with a smile plastered to his face."
I took a deep breath and placed my hand on my brother's coffin. "You wild dog, you," I said with a sad smile, the tears falling freely from my eyes. "Watch over ma and pa."
The rest of the funeral went by in a haze. I drove my parents home before taking Rosemary over to the church, where the minister had insisted on holding the wake, since my folks weren't up for the unnecessary attention. Since I was sixteen and old enough to 'handle it on my own' as my father put it, I was the one left dealing with all the people who kept saying how sorry they were or how lucky we were that we had our folks.
"You're lucky to have a strong family behind you," one of the older church ladies said as she handed me the millionth casserole we received. "Your mom and dad must be crushed. First your mom loses her closest friend, now her son, glory bless her soul."
"It's been a rough couple weeks," I said with a nod. I was tired of being reminded of just how awful the week had been.
"Wanna beat it outta here?" Dallas Winston, one of Josiah's old rodeo buddies and a friend of the gang, ask when he saw me trying to escape the crowd.
"Can't," I said sourly. "Too many people are passin' my sister around."
"I'll handle that," Soda said. Somehow, despite everything he and his family had been through in the past week, he was still trying to keep that happy go lucky attitude alive.
"Can you and Darry keep her in eyesight for a minute or two for me?" I asked. I needed to get outside and clear my head.
"Sure thing, Roxanne, want me to try an' get her outta here too? Take her back to our place? Let these old birds talk 'emselves out?"
"Sounds like a mighty fine plan," I nodded. "Can I borrow Steve? Dally here ain't got wheels and while I love admiring the pretty leaves, I'm not feelin' a hike and a half today," I added. Dally didn't have Buck's T-Bird with him and I didn't have my folks car, seeing as I rode back with Darry when I dropped off the car. My ol' man said something about needing it after he got my ma calmed down.
Soda nudged Steve who shoved his hands in his pockets and led the way outside. I shot a sad smile to Soda who hurried off to free my sister from the overly touchy hands of the older women. Once I made it outside, I lit and weed and leaned against the hood of Steve's car.
"It's funny how people only notice you once you're dead," Dally said, a faraway look in his eyes. While Darry was once Josiah's closest friend, I knew in the recent weeks, my brother had grown close to Dally and often found himself in trouble with him. "Your brother, he always tried to do good, ya dig? He wasn't like the rest of us. He actually wanted to fight the system."
"How's that any different than the rest of us?" I asked. Josiah, Josie as we knew him, was a wild child right till the end. He didn't care about the fuzz or the consequences. He was like our ol' man in that way. He wanted to free himself from the city life and just ride horses.
"Josie knew what he was doin'. I don't get how that damn bronc rolled on him. He shoulda been able to handle it," Dally said, shaking his head. "He coulda won, ya know? He always had it in him."
"I was there, Dallas," I said. I always watched my brother ride. My love for horses came from tagging along with him to the rodeo. I never stuck around after because Josie loved to get blitz afterwards and that just wasn't my thing, but I always showed up to see him ride. "The saddle wasn't tight enough and the bronc went nuts. I don't reckon anyone could have been safe ridin' that one," I added. "Didn't help none that he got himself under his hooves." I couldn't shake the image from my mind. I screamed when the hooves landed on my brother's skull. Roll, damnit, roll! Don't let 'im kick you! I had thought. But it happened too fast. One second he was tryin' to get up, the next, there was blood all over the arena. A pool of blood. In the minutes it took for me to push through the crowd, I was seein' the paramedics pulling the sheet over his face.
"Roxanne?" Steve nudged me, shaking me from my thoughts. "C'mon, let's go get your sister and get you home."
Steve Randle wasn't the caring type. Unless he thought of you as family. Then he was as protective as the rest. I saw Two-Bit giving us a wave as we pulled out of the parking lot. He was trying to put casseroles in Darry's truck. I rolled down Steve's window and waved him over. I could see Soda bouncing Rosemary in his lap in the cab of Darry's truck. She was smiling brightly up at him, too young, too innocent to fully understand what had happened. All she knew was that one of her big brothers was taking extra time to make her feel loved.
"Tell Darry he can have whatever he wants of 'em," I called. "My folks hate casserole."
"I reckon Darry does too at this point," Two-Bit said with a shake of his head.
"It saves him havin' to buy food. My folks will just throw it away," I said. "My pa, he's tired of people feelin' sorry for us already. Said he'd rather it all be over and done."
"Mighty fine guy, huh?" Two-Bit snickered. It was no secret that my ol' man wasn't exactly the kind one. Maybe that's why my ma always went over to see Martha. Maybe that's why she always wanted us to stay close to the boys growing up. Maybe somehow, she knew we would need that kind of stubbornness and tuffness when we got older.
Or maybe, just maybe, she somehow knew, that one day, we would need to rely on our roots to keep us grounded when the world came crashin' down around us.
A/N : I decided to scrap my other fic as it was getting to be too frustrating to write. Instead, I decided to take a totally different approach. Feedback is always appreciated and I can't wait to see what direction this one takes. My main goal is to balance the relation to the gang and the 'distance' so it doesn't seem too unrealistic! Here's to giving it another go!