"No one sees the commander." James said, without looking up from his magazine.

"I'm here on orders from Admiral Hackett," replied the ensign.

"Let me see." the ensign handed over the orders; James cast a quick glance over them. "Have fun in there," he said with a smirk, before returning to his magazine.

The ensign was shocked by the state of the room. It was a mess.

There were clothes everywhere, along with dirty dishes. The man shook his head, wondering how anyone could live in these conditions. He heard yelling from the bathroom.

"Anger management? Are you serious? First a shrink, now..." Shepard stopped when she saw the man standing in her room.

"Who are you?"

"I'm...just an ensign. Hackett sent me to deliver these to you," he handed over a set of dress blues. "He said you need to wear them tomorrow."

"You new?"

"Yeah, sure, I'm new."

"Here's some advice: don't bother trying to save a galaxy. They're usually ungrateful afterwards. Dismissed."

The ensign left, shaking his head.

He returned to his quarters.

Kaidan was walking the halls of the detention facility. He knew he couldn't see her, but being in the same building brought some comfort. Horizon had left so much unsaid, and he wanted to fix it. He bumped into a worried looking ensign, making him drop something. Kaidan picked it up; dress blues.

"Sorry, major."

"It's ok. Why the worried face?"

"These are for Commander Shepard. Hackett sent me. Word is Shepard's... Not completely sane."

"I find that hard to believe. I'll take them for you, if you want."

"That'd be... Great. Thank you sir."

Kaidan took the clothes off the ensign.

Not completely sane? She's never been completely sane. Kaidan thought to himself with a small laugh. He rounded a corner, and saw no one in the corridor. He quickly removed the major bars from his shirt, and, after borrowing a hat from storage, he made his way to Shepard's room,

Upon leaving Shepard's room, Kaidan pulled his hat a little lower, to stop anyone from seeing his red eyes. He wasn't afraid to admit he was hurt; he just didn't want to talk to anyone at that moment.

"See you had a good time" James yelled to Kaidan leaving form, with a smile on his face.

"Smartass" Kaidan muttered to himself. He made his way quickly out of the facility, without being seen. He returned to his flat.

Not completely sane... Bout right, Kaidan thought as he entered his flat.

He threw the hat at a wall, and collapsed onto his bed.

She didn't even look at me.

And it broke his heart. Again.

I don't know what I was thinking, did I expect anything else? Did I expect her to talk to me?

Kaidan wasn't completely sure what he expected to happen. Somewhere in his head, he thought that if she had seen him, then maybe they could talk, maybe everything could be sorted out.

Grow up alenko; she doesn't want a thing to do with you. She's changed.

Kaidan hated that voice in his head, the one that hated Shepard. But, he knew that it was probably right.

Sighing, he proceeded to have a shower, thoughts never far from the woman who still had his heart.

"I don't see why I need anger management, admiral!" Shepard was pacing the room, in front of admiral Hackett.

"it's the suggestion of your psychiatrist, and taking it up would look good in front of the panel, commander," saviour of the universe she may well be, Hackett thought, but she's still an alliance soldier.

"What's it matter if I look good to the pencil pushers? This is only happening to keep the Batarians quiet!" Shepard's voice, which had been growing in volume since the conversation began, was beginning to be audible to James outside. "And I've been stripped of my rank, remember?"

"Well, Shepard, do you really want to stay in this room for the rest of your life?" Hackett had adopted a diplomatic voice, one that Shepard really hated.

"Of course not!"

"So play nice for a bit, and maybe you'll be let out on good behaviour?" while he couldn't officially approve of Shepard at this point, personally, Hackett had no problem with Shepard, or her actions. He only hoped that this was conveyed in his conversation.

Unfortunately, it was not.

"Play nice? No. I've done nothing wrong, so I'm not gonna act like a whining pyjack and lay down like a scapegoat!"

Hackett sighed. "Very well. I see that this conversation is getting me nowhere. I have other places to be." Hackett got up from his chair, and went to the door, and knocked. (For the door could only be opened from the outside.) "Shepard?"

"What?"

"Please wear your blues." and Hackett walked out.

Shepard collapsed onto the couch, and let out a frustrated scream.

(James did not react to this; Shepard routinely made loud noises, only to annoy him.)

"All I've ever done was try to help people? Why am I punished?" Shepard looked at the dress blues. Yuck. She had never enjoyed wearing them.

Thinking back to the delivery boy, she thought she had recognized him.

Wishful thinking. It wasn't Kaidan. It was an ensign. All wrong. Kaidan wouldn't go that far to see me. He hasn't tried to see me yet; why would he now?

Thinking of Kaidan made her upset. She thought she had gotten over him back on the Normandy. After horizon, she knew there was no hope of a reconciliation.

And yet you still love him.

Shut up. I don't.

Yes you do.

No, I don't.

Deny it all you want. I know you; and you still love him.

Shepard hated herself; ever since the psychiatrist started talking to her, she had developed a horrible inner voice, one that always questioned her. However, Shepard knew the voice was right.

I do still love him.