If I Knew Then

Flack sat at the bar, drinking one beer after another. It shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't hurt this much still. It's been three years since Angel's death, yet here he was, falling off the wagon again. In the years since her death, he never drank, but tonight was different. Tonight, he froze and watched his partner almost get shot. He never froze before. It wasn't like him. But for some reason, it was different tonight. Her red hair fell out of the ponytail it was in as she ducked just in time, her gun coming up and shooting the assailant. All he could do was watched, his hands frozen to his gun. He wasn't in love with her, he couldn't be. He took another swing of his beer and sighed.

Detective Emma Davis walked into the bar, later than planned. After the warehouse attack, she went to the hospital to get her newly sprained wrist bandaged up. She was planning on meeting up with everyone from CSI for a drink to celebrate the case closing. As she looked around, no one was to be found. Being from Upstate New York and the chief's daughter, she never usually took the time to visit the city until last year when her dad got sick. Ever since then, she kept getting lost in this big city. It drove her partner nuts. Flack was an arrogant cop, but a damn good one. And really gorgeous to look at. But he's damaged. His heart is one big scar. As she was heading to the door to leave, she spotted him sitting at the bar.

He felt someone sit next to him, but he didn't look at her. He knew who it was. The raspberry scent from her hair filled his nose and he stiffened up. Her royal highness , the princess. Why is she here? He looked over at her, seeing her green eyes shine at the bartender, grabbing what looked like a water from him. As she looked at him, he couldn't meet her eyes.

"Let me take you home." He shook his head and finished his sixth beer. She stood up next to him and touched his arm.

"No more Don." As soon as the words left her mouth, he felt the guilt rushing over him. He stood up, wobbling a bit. He felt her wrap one arm around his back, to keep him steady. He towered over her petite frame, but she was strong. She managed to walk him back to his apartment, making him sit down on his bed. She walked out, grabbing the bottle of aspirin and a glass of water to put on his nightstand. As she walked back into his bedroom, he was nowhere to be found. She could hear him in the bathroom, so she waited by the door until he finished.

He looked at her with clearer eyes, seeing her walk over with a washcloth and wiping off his face.

"Princess..." She put her finger on his lips, making him shut up. She started taking off his shirt, throwing it into the laundry basket with the washcloth. Emma looked at his chest in awe, seeing the scars from the bombing that almost took Flack's life. Her hands slowly traced the scars, looking up at him. She slowly got him to stand up and lay back down in his bed. He passed out, leaving her to debate leaving him alone. She finally fell asleep on his couch, waking up on occasion to check on him.

He woke up slowly, feeling the dull pain in his head from drinking so much. As he sat up, he noticed the water and aspirin by his bed. He looked down and saw that he was undressed and dressed in his pajamas. He took the aspirin and walked out into his living room, seeing her laying on his couch, asleep. The image tugged at his heart and he began to realize that it was time for him to move on. Leaning down, he covered her with a blanket and went back into his bed. Takes every breath, leaves every scar. If I knew then what I knew now, I'd fall in love.

Two days later, Flack was trying to get the courage to ask Emma out. Ever since that night, he was seeing her in a different light. She no longer looked like a spoiled brat, but more of a beautiful, caring woman. But this wall he had around his heart was stopping him. He knew he loved her, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her or even ask her to dinner. She was in his head and he couldn't get her out of it.

Emma knew something was off. Flack wasn't talking to her, which was bothering her a bit. He just stared and if he did say something, he would stutter. She figured he was trying to thank her and apologize, so she just accepted it. He wasn't an emotional man, nor was he good at apologizing to someone he hated. But she was afraid that if he kept this up, she would have to drag him to rehab or shoot him. She walked over to her desk, grabbing her car keys, leaving the station for the night. The warm, spring night wrapped around her as she looked up at the sky. She felt him stand next to her, his eyes on her.

"Princess?"

"You decided that you wanted to talk to me now?" Her eyes met his icy blue ones and she slowly softened.

"I'm sorry about that, Em." His gaze shifted towards the ground and she moved a little bit closer to him. He looked at her again and saw her smiling at her.

"How about we go back to my place and talk about this Don?" He just nodded and followed her to her condo. As he looked in the mirror before getting out of his car, he was starting to see himself in the reflection again. She opened the door and let him in, taking off her heels, making their height differences even more pronounce. She sat down on her couch, watching him pace in front of her.

"Don, just tell me."

"You annoy me so much, but the other day, when you took care of me made me realize something- love and hate are the same emotions, the same words, just spoken differently. I spent so much time telling myself I couldn't fall in love with my partner again that I wasn't seeing how much it was hurting me and you." She leaned forward, looking at him in awe.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yes." Emma's face went through a series of multiple expressions before smiling at him, walking right up to him.

"Me too." He moved some hair out of her face and leaned down to kiss her. No longer am I afraid of the fall down, I guess I'm ready to love again.