This is written for tat1312's "Flamenco Challenge" in HPFC. It is based on the flamenco song by Vicente Amigo, "Autorretrato" which means self-portait.
Here's the lyrics tat translated for this:
Once upon a time, a paper boat lost
Once upon a time, an injured cardboard man
Once upon a time, a beach without a sea, without children
Once upon a time, I look in the mirror sinking
Bitter is the thorn stuck in my soul
Unforgettable are the memories that are killing me…
Read and review, you know the concept;)
Self- portrait
What do you see when you look in the mirror? What do you see behind the wrinkles and the blue eyes? Can you see yourself? Or have you been so used to lies that you see only the face you've shown to everyone else?
Narcissa Malfoy was haunted. Haunted by her past, haunted by words that woke fears and memories and mistakes deep within her.
It wasn't like she didn't have regrets.
She did. She knew that she was cruel, indifferent and arrogant. But there wasn't anything else she could do, was there? We are what we are born to become. And her family and up-bringing gave her no choice.
She wasn't Andromeda, brave and oblivious, to make her revolution and follow her heart. She couldn't bear the thought of never speaking to her parents again, of losing her family. Neither was she Bellatrix, fearless and devoted. She was scared and obedient.
It wasn't like she hadn't asked for forgiveness.
Not from everybody, of course. A Black is too proud to do so. She had apologized to the only person alive that mattered for her: Andromeda. Apology not accepted.
Andromeda may have chosen a different path, but she was as proud as the rest of them. She had been offended. Not only by her ignorance but also by her actions. She had judged her and blamed her like everybody else had. Not even her own flesh and blood could understand her.
She had to realize that there was only one family for her now: Lucius and Draco. Bellatrix was gone and the Blacks were desolate. She was the last of her generation. And she may looks strong to a stranger, but she was broken.
Her actions, judged by many. They judged her for taking the Dark Lord's side, for covering for the Death eaters. And at the very end, they judged her betraying him to save her son's life.
Above all, her sister. The worst judge, the one who made the most painful criticisms. Her words still hurt her, although she pretends she doesn't care. They haunt her, they torture her.
But she doesn't mind. She has done what she had to, for her family. Her sister, her husband, her son. Whatever she had to do, she's done it. She had her motives, and for her, they were good motives, they were enough.
However, she knows it wasn't right. What she did. What they did. Their beliefs, their actions, her covering, pushing her son into this. She may have had reasons, but that didn't help in making amends with her actions, the thorn is stuck in her soul and it hurts. The memories are unforgettable and Andromeda's words burn like fire.
She will be haunted. But that's alright. She's old now… Second chances are for those who have their lives in front of them. She's lived hers.