A/N: It's been a couple weeks so here is a new FFVII oneshot. It's happy and then it's sad. It's heart warming and a tear jerker. Hey, what can I say? It's a little bit of everything wrapped into one, but it's more sad than anything. Once the idea was in my head, it wouldn't let go; I hope that helps you understand.
Standard Disclaimer FFVII. Background music-"Something I Can Never Have" by Nine Inch Nails (sorrow filled but amazing in every way)
"Echoes of Existence"
By MakoRain
Cloud was running, running, always running after that dark haired bright eyed beauty. Her long raven tresses teased his fingertips as he reached out to touch her, just evading his grasp.
It was when she slowed down and turned around that he had the chance to catch her and tackle her to the ground as he had when they were kids playing tag but this time, he stood frozen in place. He took in every curve of her mouth and plane of her face before it could be lost to him.
And it would be lost to him, somehow he always knew that, even as this fact became less and less distinct. Tifa was something he could never have and yet he dreamed of her always, washing ashore and getting his feet wet in the sight and the taste and the sound of her.
He knew he was dreaming for once. It was hard to tell and he was amazed at the minute detail that had tipped him off-Tifa's ribbon wasn't at the end of her hair. Such a small detail and yet so monumental.
It was then that he knew he had to wake up. He had to wake up or he'd never want to leave this place, it was such a shame. This place where he held her in his arms, so close, so warm, so alive with him.
Cloud gasped and forced a mouthful of air into his lungs, almost choking on the ever present green substance that glowed all around him, cradling him in his glass prison. He fought opening his eyes, the constant presence of mako an unwelcomed reminder of what his life had become.
Being experimented on might not have been so bad if it hadn't been for professor Hojo. He did what he always did best: torture.
"Ah, it seems young Cloud is dreaming."
"Dreaming?"
"Yes, something pleasant by the looks of things." Hojo tapped the monitor that bleep bleeped the lines of activity for Cloud's heartbeat, breathing rate and brain waves to provide his audience evidence.
"He shouldn't be able to."
Sephiroth uncrossed his arms from across his chest to let them sway at his sides, making his way towards Cloud's mako tube. The boy fought the urge to flinch as the man peered in at him, still unaware that Cloud was more conscious than not.
"Don't worry, It'll be my pleasure in taking those sweet dreams away from you as well, little SOLDIER."
Sephiroth's smile was cruel when Cloud finally did open his eyes, lifting his heavy lids to the leering man. Before he could reply, his captors' attentions were diverted to the other lone test tube experiment in the lab.
"Would you just leave off the kid, Seph? Or do you keep talking just to torture us with the constant sound of your grating voice?" Zack managed his trade mark smirk, the effect getting a little lost in all that mako wavering around him.
His outburst had the desired effect in getting Sephiroth to take his attention off of Cloud but also left only one other alternative. He'd take being Sephiroth's emotional punching bag again and again over Cloud. Zack could handle it.
"Now now, Zack. Don't get jealous because I'm giving my attention to young Cloud."
"I'm not. I still know he's prettier than you."
Cloud gave him a look out of the corner of his eye while Sephiroth waved Zack's humor away, somewhat accustomed to it by now.
"Don't think that I have forgotten about my precious SOLDIER First Class. At only seventeen that's quite an accomplishment."
"What can I say, I followed in the footsteps of the best. Too bad he went and got all crazy." Zack could see that twitch in Sephiroth's brow that meant he was fighting for control.
Good. Zack was getting to him before he could get to Zack this time. That was a rare but good sign.
"You will respect your superior, SOLDIER, First Class or not. I still outrank you."
This time Zack gave into a laugh, snorting a bubble in his mako tank. "Outrank me? You're no longer part of SOLDIER, or did you not hear there's a psych evaluation requirement? Guess what buddy, you failed. When you burned Nibelheim to the ground, you gave up your rank in SOLDIER. You no longer have a place here."
Sephiroth's feigned calm cracked into an albeit small but sly grin nonetheless. There was a lot to be said and yet hidden in that smile and his words only teased at the meaning.
"I may no longer be part of the fine establishment of SOLDIER," Sephiroth said, words dripping with disdain for a cause he once fought so hard for. "But I still outrank you in strength, whit, and what matters most, knowledge. Not only of the mind but of what's to come."
His gaze grew heavenly and his eyes glazed over for the slightest instant but it was still enough to put Zack and Cloud on edge.
"You're not only a manipulative bastard but psychic, too?" Zack asked in an offhanded manner, trying hard to show he didn't care in the slightest even as his curiosity peaked.
"I don't need to be psychic to know what happens next for it will be at my hand, on Mother's command I will do anything."
Okay then. Before, Cloud thought his not so long ago idol was a bit disturbed but now he knew he'd totally gone off the deep end of insanity.
"It's great to know you have such devotion to your mother, Seph. I didn't know you had it in you."
"It is a far greater devotion than you have ever had and will ever have again, Zack the puppy. It goes deeper than the love you hold for your Ancient or the devotion she carries for her beloved Planet." Sephiroth all but spat the words at him and when no retort came, Cloud knew something was wrong.
Zack went completely still, as rigged as could be in his suspended state. There were very few things that could make him angry and Sephiroth had tried to exploit each and every one thus far: the destruction of innocents, the abuse of children, and the love of his life.
This last one he only now dared to explore and it gave Cloud an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Since Aerith-"
"Don't say her name! You're not allowed to say her name."
It was the first slip Zack had made but by then the damage was already done. Forcefully, he shut his mouth, intending to keep it that way to discourage Sephiroth advancing in this direction but to no avail. It was too late, the silver haired man was a sadist in every meaning of the word and knew he'd found something to take the proud Zack Fair down a few notches.
Sephiroth only smiled wider and Cloud's gut twisted painfully at the glee he saw on the cruel man's face from making his friend suffer.
"Since she's willing to die for such a noble cause, why don't I just help her along?"
He drew his sword thoughtfully, pulling his gaze away from gauging Zack's reaction to appreciate the quality craftsmanship of the Masamune, so light and yet strong in his hand, an extension of Sephiroth's cruel identity.
"I could simply end it all with one slice through that delicate flesh and bone, let her fall to the ground soft as a snowflake tinged red in a pool of her own blood."
Cloud could only watch Zack's face in horror as he tried to hide what Sephiroth's words did to him. The image unfolded in Zack's mind, of his precious Aerith falling to her knees with Sephiroth's sword piercing through and he gave a strangled cry as he clutched his head.
Sephiroth chuckled and Cloud couldn't stay silent any longer.
"Sephiroth, what are you doing to him?!"
His mane of silver hair turned with the movement of tearing his eyes away from Zack's torture to acknowledge that Cloud was still in the room. That was a small step on his part.
"The power of persuasion is very strong, young Strife. Now be a good boy and wait your turn."
"Wha-"
"Shhhh."
And that was that as with a turn of his head, Cloud no longer existed in the eyes of Sephiroth. Only the existence of Zack writhing in mental agony mattered until even that grew boring and stopped with a simple thought.
It left Zack breathing heavily, from struggling to hold back his rage or fear was anyone's guess.
"Now wasn't that an eye opener?"
"You're a monster."
Sephiroth was torn between being offended and/or overjoyed at the name. "Resorting to name calling is so childish, Zack Fair. My how the mighty have fallen."
Sephiroth's mild pacing ended when he pushed his face right up to the glass of Zack's confinement, making his next words loud and clear.
"I'm really going to enjoy taking her and your last shred of joy in this world away from you, you know that?"
"Stop it!"
Both men looked his way in surprise at Cloud's outburst, expecting it to be from the dark haired man instead. Sephiroth glared at the fair haired boy before giving up on his fun with Zack and moving onto his next target.
That was a dumb thing to do. Cloud and Zack both shared the thought as they watched Sephiroth move to stand in front of Cloud's tube, a look of impatience upon his face.
"I told you to wait your turn, young Cloud. Good boys get treats."
At these words, Sephiroth touched his finger to the glass in front of Cloud and suddenly Cloud could see what he thought was a random flash of images. Focusing on them showed his hometown of Nibelheim standing in all its glory.... changing into his mother standing outside of their house calling for him to come inside... Mom?... ending abruptly with the face of a girl a few years younger than him, waving with that secret smile she held just for Cloud.
Tifa.
"And bad boys, well bad boys get what they deserve." Sephiroth's voice broke through the last hazy glimpse of Tifa and catapulted his mind into something dark and frightening, somewhere he didn't want to go.
Suddenly he was back in Nibelheim as it burned to the ground, flames and heat and smoke everywhere he turned...his mother was no longer standing with him but he was standing over her grave, fingers tracing the date of her death...and then there was Tifa again, slumped over as he had found her in the reactor but something was wrong.
There was so much blood, they're shouldn't have been that much blood if she was alive...
"NO!" The word was ripped from Cloud's mouth, his hand over his chest to calm his racing heart. "That's not true, Tifa's not...I saved her...I saved her!" He sounded as if he were trying to convince himself as well as Sephiroth as he banged his fists against the glass in blind anger.
"You stabbed me through with my own fucking sword, Cloud! Did you think I wasn't going to do anything about that?!"
Sephiroth placed his hand over where Cloud's fist remained and Cloud was sucked in before he could pull away. He was back in the mako reactor, watching as Sephiroth crawled out of the shadows of the depths he had fallen and stopped in front of Cloud's young love.
The foolish girl had tried to stop him earlier but he had simply pushed her aside. Now, she would pay for her beloved hero's foolish actions. In a gleam of silver, Sephiroth pulled out the sword that still struck through his body to lift over his head and bring down in a rush and a scream.
Cloud closed his eyes but couldn't hide from the sound of steel cutting through flesh and bone. A single tear slipped down his cheek but was lost to the mako that had a constant hold over him. He squeezed his eyes shut tight to make sure no more came, for if they did now he didn't know if the tears would ever stop.
"You're lying." Cloud choked the words out over the lump that had formed in his throat and he swallowed hard, trying to force it away with the images that still haunted his mind.
"Hardly. I gut her like a fish, your precious Tifa." He sneered, enjoying being able to tell Cloud just how he had killed her and loving the pain it brought. With it also came a sense of logic and reasoning that froze the tormented blonds' blood in his veins.
"You think you can push me into the reactor and get off scot free? You left me there to die, Cloud! That hurt the most. A SOLDIER doesn't leave a fallen comrade behind."
This minor tangent let Cloud know Sephiroth hadn't seen his complete weakness or he wouldn't have broke the connection, ending this session of torture when he stepped away from the glass to accuse him from a distance. He could feel Zack's eyes on him and knew that he saw Cloud break. That could have been the only reason Zack had jumped in when he did.
"I wouldn't call this scot free, exactly." Zack said, tapping on his glass tube to prove his point but Sephiroth just shrugged.
Instead Hojo stepped in, explaining their capture and imprisonment away easily. "A simple price to pay in the name of science."
As if to demonstrate, Hojo flipped a switch that sent a large shock through the mako tubes and consequently through their bodies, making Cloud and Zack jolt like marionettes with no free will of their own. The tremors lasted minutes after Hojo had turned the device off and Zack shook them off first, in enough control to grind his teeth with his words.
"Once I get out of here, you better run and hide little man since I'm coming after you first."
Hojo chuckled merrily, clapping his hands at the threat. "Funny, since that'll never happen. You're my lab rats to run along the mazes I create and to find the pieces of cheese I leave out for you."
Zack looked at the crazed scientist as if he had grown a second head that was speaking Latin. Clearly, it was a requirement for everyone to be crazy here.
This distraction didn't last for long and in no time Sephiroth's mako enhanced glare was once again locked on Cloud. It seemed he found the young blond a far better toy than the older dark haired model.
Of course, Zack still had the hope that he would be able to escape and stop Sephiroth's future from happening. Cloud was not so lucky.
"This existence or lack there of is pleasant compared to what I did to her, Cloud. She screamed for you but you never came back. Tifa died alone and unloved because you weren't there to save her. Your name on her lips with her last breath was as heavenly as any lover's, Cloud. It was all for you."
The boy was shaking ever so slightly, withholding rage or about to cry was unsure. Sephiroth was delighted to say the least, twisting the proverbial knife into the poor boy's bleeding heart.
He paused, a serene smile on his face. "I still remember the taste of her tears echoing her voice, so sweet."
"You bastard!"
Sephiroth blinked at Cloud's outburst and feigned concern for his young prisoner. "My my, I haven't gone and upset you now have I?" He chuckled before turning a serious glare back onto his toy.
"Don't blame me, Cloud. You made me kill her and I took little joy in the matter." The look in his eyes said the exact opposite but Cloud couldn't fight anymore, all of his hope had been drained out of him with that last mental blow. "Your death is on her hands."
When there was no sound of protest from Cloud, Sephiroth simply continued, loving every moment he could have to break the young man's dwindling spirit. He would have kept the girl alive and killed her in front of him if he had known it would do this to him just to hear about it.
Oh well. Sephiroth still enjoyed this torture nonetheless.
"You're no hero and you will never be, I will make sure of that, Strife. I will make you live up to your name, starting with taking all that you cherish most. Since that seems to be accomplished already, I'll have to settle with making you relive that pain again and again until you go insane or die from the mako poisoning, whichever happens first."
Finally, Sephiroth turned away from the two and headed towards the stairs, signaling Hojo to follow him out of the basement lab. Cloud sagged in the relief of not having to see his wicked face or Tifa's death no longer in his presence.
"Have a good night, boys."
As soon as the lights went out, Zack and Cloud were plunged into darkness from all but their mako encasements.
That glowing green turned into images that swirled to life, echoing Tifa's voice through the ringing in Cloud's ears. Everywhere he looked, she was all he could see; a fading reminder of who he used to be and what he used to live for. This kept scraping through and making sleep the last thing he ever wanted again, not after the taint of Sephiroth's words ruined even that smallest escape for him.
He'd give anything to return to the dreams of almost catching Tifa, of holding her close, so close he could hear her heart beat. She used to make this existence go away. Now, all he could hear were her screams. She was slowly taking him apart.
No, not again...make it all go away.
Sadly,as it was meant to be.
The End.