~Say 'Goodbye'~
Edward packed his suitcase hurriedly, throwing things into his bag with no regard to their delicacy. They were leaving, he and Al. Returning to Rizenbul to live with Auntie and Winry. They were finally escaping the military and its demands. He was abandoning this dump for good. Edward sank down onto the mattress and sat with his head in his hands.
Who am I fooling...?
Truthfully, he did not want to leave. The brothers had spent years coming and going, knowing that they would always be able to return to headquarters. Despite himself, he knew he considered Central their home now, and regarded the others in the Unit with a certain fondness similar to the affection he felt for his brother and Winry. And Roy…
Edward had tried to deny his feelings for years, only to discover that he had fallen for the man much harder than he'd thought. Edward felt tears beginning in his eyes and, straightening, brushed them away angrily. He'd be damned if that bastard was going to get any tears out of him. He'd carried the brunt of his un-reciprocated affection for years, and would continue to bear it. However, Ed knew he would regret it if he left without confessing his feelings. He was a slave to that tiny spark of hope as long as it existed.
Edward groaned and dropped his head into his hands a second time. The sorrow he had repressed covered him like a blanket and in this one, vulnerable moment, the boy allowed himself to think of everyone and everything he was leaving behind, but especially of the man who had—ever so gradually—crept his way into the darkest corners of Edward's heart.
That was how Alphonse found his brother, hunched over, with his head in his hands. As he had suspected, this departure was costing Edward more than he would admit.
"Are you all right, Brother?" Edward jumped at the sound and stood, immediately turning his back on the younger boy.
"I'm fine, Al." Edward scrubbed a discrete hand over his face to remove all traces of tears. The motion did not go unnoticed by Alphonse. He frowned, easily guessing why his brother had been crying. Only one man had ever managed to bring so many of his brother's true emotions to the surface.
"We can stay if you want, Brother." Al spoke quietly, and Edward was happy to hear the clear human tone, not the empty echo of the armour. Edward turned to look at him, a false smile on his face.
"Who ever said anything about staying?" Edward bent to pick up his shirt and pull it over his head; Alphonse remained sceptically silent. He sighed, knowing his brother could easily read his face. "This is not our home, Al. We belong in Rizenbul."
"Hmm." Al hummed thoughtfully. "It will be great to see Auntie and Winry again." At the girl's name, Edward smirked.
"Particularly Winry, right?" Alphonse blushed.
"Brother!" He hissed, embarrassed. Edward laughed, but the smile did not reach his eyes. He had been trying to distract himself, but the attempt was futile. Sobering quickly, he surveyed the room one last time.
"I'll miss them." Edward froze at Al's words. "They all helped us so much in our search. Especially the Colonel. He kept your secret safe from everyone so that we could go on our way unimpeded." Edward snorted.
"Yeah, so he could have influence over two powerful alchemists." The boy's expression was unforgiving. "I'm sick of being his dog to call. That is one man I will not miss." Edward sounded as though he was trying to convince himself more than his brother and Alphonse saw right through the lie. But, if Edward was determined to do this…
Edward snapped his suitcase shut and made his way to the door, turning to look at his brother. "Come on, Al." He slung the suitcase over his shoulder. "It's time we went home."
That's not what your face says. Al smartly bit back the retort and followed his brother out the door.
* * * * * * * * *
"Major Elric is here to see you, Sir."
Edward entered, pulling the door closed behind him and Riza turned to Al.
"Is he planning on saying anything?" She asked. Al let out a tired breath.
"I don't know, but I doubt it. I think he's trying to make it through this farewell with the least amount of pain possible." Riza gave a quiet sigh of exasperation.
"So will Roy, no doubt." She huffed. "They are both idiots."
For once, Alphonse agreed with her.
* * * * * * * * *
Roy looked up at the sound of the door closing to see Edward stride purposefully into the room. The boy had a suitcase in his hand and had thrown his red cloak over the clothes he had worn in Germany. Edward came to a halt at Mustang's desk, looking for all the world as though he were about to begin another journey.
"I seem to remember you asking me once what I would do after we got our bodies back." Edward began. "Al has been restored and I'm as close as I'll ever be to human. We don't need to search any longer." Edward paused and looked up at Roy. He smiled when he realized that he came up to his superior's nose.
I've grown in more ways than one. Perhaps now...
"And have you decided?" Roy could not help feeling anxious when Edward nodded. He didn't want Edward to leave Central. "Well?" He prompted. Please...
"I'm leaving." Edward spoke quietly, his voice hinting at some emotion Roy couldn't place.
The man did not know what to say. He could hardly confess his feelings and beg Edward not to leave.
"I'm here to ask your permission for one final act, then I'll be out of your hair for good." Roy's heart sunk. It was the last thing he'd ever wanted. Edward was leaving. The prodigy would return to his home in Rizenbul and Roy would never see him again, unless he purposefully sought him out. Dammit. Why did the boy mean so much to him? And when had he begun seeing Edward as more than a simple subordinate? He sighed aloud, forgetting Edward was waiting for a response. No one said life was fair. Unable and unwilling to try to cope with these raw feelings, Mustang pushed them aside and recovered his controlled, detached persona. He met Edward's eyes.
"All right, Fullmetal; I suppose you have earned yourself a favour. Just be sure this 'act' doesn't cause me more paperwork; I won't be able to threaten you later." Edward's laugh was dry and forced. Expression grim, Edward answered:
"I don't think you'll have to worry about that, Colonel." Roy noticed for the first time that Edward looked uncomfortable, and his smile was tinged with sadness. Roy suspected that his leaving was hurting the youth more than he would let him see. But, why would that be? Unable to stop himself, Roy stood and walked around his desk so he stood directly in front of the boy.
"Would you answer such a personal question if I asked?"
"Ask, and find out." Edward stepped a little closer, and Roy could see him visibly push his discomfort aside.
"What is there left for you to do? What final task must you accomplish?" Roy's expression became stern suddenly. "You do understand," He met Edward's gaze. "I will allow no one to be hurt." He saw a shadow flit across Edward's face at the warning. Roy's eyes narrowed. "What aren't you telling me, Fullmetal?"
Edward closed his eyes briefly to collect himself. When they opened, Roy recognized the familiar look of burning determination. Edward smirked hit shit-eating grin. "I wouldn't worry, Colonel," Edward stepped in closer and Roy fought the automatic instinct to back away. "Besides," Edward tugged on the man's lapel, drawing him closer, "Only you and I will ever know." The alchemist raised himself on his toes and captured Roy's lips in a tender kiss. He pulled away quickly—too quickly for his shocked superior to respond. Edward turned his back to Roy so he didn't have to see the man's disgusted expression.
"Sorry, Colonel." Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out his watch. He studied it for a moment before tossing behind him. "Here." Roy caught the timepiece and recognized the act for what it was. Edward had resigned.
"Well, I'll be going now." Edward raised a casual hand in farewell.
I only wanted my body back so that you would see me the way I want you to, but it's time I bowed out gracefully. This broken body has nothing worth offering.
Edward made a hasty retreat to the door.
He never reached it.
Strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him close, catching the boy by surprise and causing him to drop his suitcase.
"Idiot." Roy's voice was soft and did not match the insult. "You think I would let you go after the stunt you just pulled?" Edward felt heat rise in his face. "I don't believe you really want to leave, Edward." The boy turned in his arms to meet Roy's eyes and Edward saw an emotion in those depths that he had never thought he would see. Love. "Would you stay if I asked?" Roy brought his hand up to cup Edward's cheek and bent his down to nuzzle the boy's neck. "Would you stay...for me?" He whispered, causing Edward to shiver at the tenderness he offered. Edward tipped his head back and relaxed for a moment, enjoying the feel of the man's lips on his skin. But...he had to be sure.
"Think for a moment…about what you're implying." Edward guided Roy's face back to his so they could make eye contact. "As much as I want this, I know I can offer you nothing of worth." Edward spoke carefully, his expression guarded. "There are many women so much more worthy of your affections than I." Edward pulled away, mind determined. Roy opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced by a look. "You waste your time with me." His voice was firm. "Besides," Edward continued. "You have your reputation to think about. What would the General do if he knew you were screwing—" Roy cut the boy off with a kiss. It was gentle and reassuring. Roy waited for the boy to relax before he spoke again.
"That is all irrelevant." Roy snaked his arms around Edward's waist. "Such problems are easily dealt with." Edward let out a quiet breath.
"My excuses may be feeble, but you cannot change fact. My arm and leg are metal, Colonel. Do you really want this," Edward held a steel fist up to the light. "...in your bed?" Edward did not give Roy a chance to answer. "No. How could you?" Edward freed himself from Roy's grasp and turned away to leave. The man's hand encircled his wrist, keeping him there. Mustang was not about to let him go. For the first time, Roy understood just how much the loss of his limbs had affected the boy. He did not see the mechanical things as a hindrance, but Edward still rejected them completely, as if they somehow made him less human. The boy had never accepted the limbs as part of himself, and continued to think them foreign. To Roy, however, they were a symbol of all they had been through—all they had learned in the past years. The limbs were simply a part of Edward—something that made him unique. In his eyes, Edward had always been beautiful, and it was time the boy knew it.
"Edward. Look at me." Edward yanked his wrist free and turned to face Roy. "You don't see yourself very clearly." Roy moved in and held out his hand to Edward, giving him the choice whether or not to take it. The boy hesitantly placed his hand in Roy's and the man gripped it firmly, pulling him close once more. "You have metal limbs, that is true. But, these arms…" Roy ran his hands down both skin and automail. "Are still Edward's." He interlocked their fingers. "These hands…" Roy lifted their hands together and placed a gentle kiss on Edward's skin. "Are yours, too. Just as these lips…" Roy freed one of his hands and traced the boy's lips softly. Edward blushed, his heart pounding. "Are yours." Roy leaned in and kissed Edward lovingly. "And just as this," he mumbled against the boy's lips, splaying his hand across Edward's chest. "…is your heart." Edward broke the kiss and bowed his head to conceal the raw emotions flooding through his body as uncertainty and hope clashed with his overwhelming love and a trace of lust. Knowing the boy would need further affirmation of his feelings, Roy rest his forehead on Edward's and spoke the truth as he knew it.
"To me, you are beautiful, Edward." Roy let go of Edward's hand to cup his cheek once more. Edward looked up to meet his eyes and Roy was surprised to see tears there. Smiling affectionately, Roy leaned down and kissed the boy's forehead. "I don't do things like this half-assed, Edward." He wiped a tear away before it fell. "I ask again: Will you stay?" Edward moved forward suddenly and pressed his lips against his superior's. Roy closed his eyes in happy contentment and returned the kiss, pulling the boy down with him to sink into the office couch. Edward knelt over him, his arms wrapped around Roy's neck, and softly traced the man's bottom lip before darting his tongue inside to taste his mouth. Roy wrapped his arms around Edward's waist and held him close. Soon enough, Ed broke away and hugged Roy tightly, burying his head in the man's shoulder. Roy reached up behind the boy and freed Ed's hair from the band that held it, burying his hand in the golden tresses as they cascaded down the boy's back.
They held each other close, neither wanting to move. Eventually, Edward pulled away. "I'll stay…" He whispered, his cheeks tinted pink with embarrassment. "…for you." Roy reached up and tugged Edward's head down again so he could lick his ear. Edward started and jumped back, blushing madly. Roy smirked at the reaction and reached for Edward again, his expression softening when the boy relaxed against him. He buried his face in Edward's neck and spoke quietly; his breath ghosting over the boy's flushed skin.
"Thank God¹.
END
¹Here, I heard Roy respond with 'Yokatta' (JP), which means something along the lines of 'Thank God' or 'Good'. I just thought you all should know. I often hear them speaking in Japanese, so I just wanted to let all you educated people know exactly what I heard because, in my opinion, Japanese sometimes gives it a different feel. :)
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