Subj: "Carmine and His Lenses"
Date: 10/3/99 12:01:06 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: MicheMach
To: MicheMach
"Carmine and His Lenses"
This story takes place in Milwaukee. Everybody knows that Carmine is a part time boxer. And unfortunately, everyone also knows the bad stuff that happens to boxers (not the shorts! The guys who are boxers), like because of knockouts bad memory, sometimes really badly bruised faces (now that didn't happen to Carmine), or bad eyesight. Well, that stuff almost never happened to Carmine (except in that ep "The Dance Studio" and maybe a few others) but now let's see what happens when one of those things does happen to him: Bad eyesight, aka he needs glasses. Oooh, this is gonna be good.
(in Laverne and Shirley's apartment, the girls watching Heckle & Jeckle. Carmine was supposed to pick Shirley up an hour ago for a date so now she's pacing around)
Laverne: Shirl, he's alright, both of you can't get mugged in the same week. By the way, it's great you got over it so quick.
Shirley: I'm not over it! Far from it. I'm going steady with Carmine because I love him and because he can punch anyone's lights out!
Laverne: Well that's different. Maybe his car broke down.
Shirley: Laverne, the gym is two blocks away.
Laverne: He's just a little late. Just sit down and watch Heckle and Jeckle.
Shirley: I can't, my dress will get wrinkled.
(Laverne puts on a big grin, raises her eyebrow, and turns around to look at Shirley.)
Laverne: So, a nothing special date, huh? Just a regular date, huh? You're wearing a can't-get-wrinkled dress!
Shirley: Oh be quiet.
(Carmine knocks his knock on the door and Shirley runs into the bedroom)
Laverne: Shirl, you're actin' like you're in high school again!
(she opens the door and there's Carmine in his brown suit)
Carmine: Hey Laverne, where's Shirl?
Laverne: Remember your first date in high school?
Carmine: Yeah...
Laverne: She's doing that again.
Carmine: Oh well.
Laverne: Shirl, Carmine's here! Get over here.
(she walks out in her has-to-stay-wrinklefree dress and puts her arms around Carmine)
Carmine: Sorry I'm late. But I see it's worth it.
Shirley: So why were you late?
Carmine: I had to get an eye exam.
Laverne: What's wrong with your eyes Carmine?
Carmine: I just gotta wear glasses sometimes, no big deal.
Shirley: You sure? I could drive tonight if you want.
Carmine: I'm just a little nearsighted, not blind.
Laverne: Alright, c'mon, get outta here, remember that cop I was tellin' you about, Robert? He's comin' over tonight.
Shirley: Well why don't you two come with us? Double date!
Laverne: Nah.... besides, um, we're just gonna watch tv, talk.....
Shirley: Okay, bye Laverne! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
Carmine: Then she might as well not go on a date.
(at the movie theatre, Shirley and Carmine are making out in the back [what else do you do at a movie theatre with a guy? watch the movie? ha!] Suddenly, Shirley hears her name being called. It's some of the Angora Debs from high school!)
Lindsey: Hey Shirl! Shirl!
Everyone in theatre: Shhh!
Lindsey: Alright!
(after the movie, Lindsey, Haley, Stephanie, and Jessica all come up to Shirley and it's a mini reunion. All their boyfriends are a few feet away waiting for this to be over.)
Haley: So you're still going out with Carmine, huh Shirl?
Shirley:Oh, no, we just got back together tonight.
Jessica: I feel like such a heel now. We ruined your back-together date!
Shirley: No you didn't, don't worry about it! Where are you all going after this?
Stephanie: Just to the Pizza Bowl then back to our houses.
Lindsey: Why don't you and Carmine come with us? The more the merrier.
Shirley: I guess he wouldn't mind. Sure, why not?
Stephanie: Great! Let's go everyone!
Shirley: Oh, I think everyone fits into Carmine's car. Let's drive because it is kind of late.
Haley: Oh yeah, we heard what happened.
(all 10 people [5 couples] stuff into Carmine's car. He slips on his glasses and starts up the car.
Jessica: Carmine, you need glasses to drive? I've never seen you with glasses before!
Lindsey: Turn around so we can see you!
Stephanie: Wow, you look real smart.
Haley: Yeah. (Haley smacks her boyfriend playfully) Why don't you get a pair of glasses like that?
Guy: 'Cause I don't need 'em, Hal.
Shirley: Ladies, these are prescribed glasses, he needs them to drive.
Guy#2: Doctors are always saying stuff like that. I betcha he can drive just as good without them.
Carmine: Well I ain't gonna try it, okay?
Stephanie: But you never know. You might not need them. C'mon, just drive to the Pizza Bowl without them.
(he reluctantly starts driving to the Pizza Bowl, short stopping, taking red lights.... like how Laverne drives! Byt the time they get there, there's one though racing through everyone's mind: He needs those glasses.)
Date: 10/3/99 12:01:06 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: MicheMach
To: MicheMach
"Carmine and His Lenses"
This story takes place in Milwaukee. Everybody knows that Carmine is a part time boxer. And unfortunately, everyone also knows the bad stuff that happens to boxers (not the shorts! The guys who are boxers), like because of knockouts bad memory, sometimes really badly bruised faces (now that didn't happen to Carmine), or bad eyesight. Well, that stuff almost never happened to Carmine (except in that ep "The Dance Studio" and maybe a few others) but now let's see what happens when one of those things does happen to him: Bad eyesight, aka he needs glasses. Oooh, this is gonna be good.
(in Laverne and Shirley's apartment, the girls watching Heckle & Jeckle. Carmine was supposed to pick Shirley up an hour ago for a date so now she's pacing around)
Laverne: Shirl, he's alright, both of you can't get mugged in the same week. By the way, it's great you got over it so quick.
Shirley: I'm not over it! Far from it. I'm going steady with Carmine because I love him and because he can punch anyone's lights out!
Laverne: Well that's different. Maybe his car broke down.
Shirley: Laverne, the gym is two blocks away.
Laverne: He's just a little late. Just sit down and watch Heckle and Jeckle.
Shirley: I can't, my dress will get wrinkled.
(Laverne puts on a big grin, raises her eyebrow, and turns around to look at Shirley.)
Laverne: So, a nothing special date, huh? Just a regular date, huh? You're wearing a can't-get-wrinkled dress!
Shirley: Oh be quiet.
(Carmine knocks his knock on the door and Shirley runs into the bedroom)
Laverne: Shirl, you're actin' like you're in high school again!
(she opens the door and there's Carmine in his brown suit)
Carmine: Hey Laverne, where's Shirl?
Laverne: Remember your first date in high school?
Carmine: Yeah...
Laverne: She's doing that again.
Carmine: Oh well.
Laverne: Shirl, Carmine's here! Get over here.
(she walks out in her has-to-stay-wrinklefree dress and puts her arms around Carmine)
Carmine: Sorry I'm late. But I see it's worth it.
Shirley: So why were you late?
Carmine: I had to get an eye exam.
Laverne: What's wrong with your eyes Carmine?
Carmine: I just gotta wear glasses sometimes, no big deal.
Shirley: You sure? I could drive tonight if you want.
Carmine: I'm just a little nearsighted, not blind.
Laverne: Alright, c'mon, get outta here, remember that cop I was tellin' you about, Robert? He's comin' over tonight.
Shirley: Well why don't you two come with us? Double date!
Laverne: Nah.... besides, um, we're just gonna watch tv, talk.....
Shirley: Okay, bye Laverne! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
Carmine: Then she might as well not go on a date.
(at the movie theatre, Shirley and Carmine are making out in the back [what else do you do at a movie theatre with a guy? watch the movie? ha!] Suddenly, Shirley hears her name being called. It's some of the Angora Debs from high school!)
Lindsey: Hey Shirl! Shirl!
Everyone in theatre: Shhh!
Lindsey: Alright!
(after the movie, Lindsey, Haley, Stephanie, and Jessica all come up to Shirley and it's a mini reunion. All their boyfriends are a few feet away waiting for this to be over.)
Haley: So you're still going out with Carmine, huh Shirl?
Shirley:Oh, no, we just got back together tonight.
Jessica: I feel like such a heel now. We ruined your back-together date!
Shirley: No you didn't, don't worry about it! Where are you all going after this?
Stephanie: Just to the Pizza Bowl then back to our houses.
Lindsey: Why don't you and Carmine come with us? The more the merrier.
Shirley: I guess he wouldn't mind. Sure, why not?
Stephanie: Great! Let's go everyone!
Shirley: Oh, I think everyone fits into Carmine's car. Let's drive because it is kind of late.
Haley: Oh yeah, we heard what happened.
(all 10 people [5 couples] stuff into Carmine's car. He slips on his glasses and starts up the car.
Jessica: Carmine, you need glasses to drive? I've never seen you with glasses before!
Lindsey: Turn around so we can see you!
Stephanie: Wow, you look real smart.
Haley: Yeah. (Haley smacks her boyfriend playfully) Why don't you get a pair of glasses like that?
Guy: 'Cause I don't need 'em, Hal.
Shirley: Ladies, these are prescribed glasses, he needs them to drive.
Guy#2: Doctors are always saying stuff like that. I betcha he can drive just as good without them.
Carmine: Well I ain't gonna try it, okay?
Stephanie: But you never know. You might not need them. C'mon, just drive to the Pizza Bowl without them.
(he reluctantly starts driving to the Pizza Bowl, short stopping, taking red lights.... like how Laverne drives! Byt the time they get there, there's one though racing through everyone's mind: He needs those glasses.)