What can I say about the 100th episode?? One of the best things I have ever seen, if you still haven't seen it yet, it is an absolute must, because it has got to be one of the best we have seen come through in a while. Just the pure raw emotions and everything in between were just absolutely fantastic. Congratulations must go to the cast and crew, because it was just outstanding.
Anyway, in saying that the ending was heartbreaking and I think that, from what I have read from spoilers, it will partially be resolved in the season finale. This is how I think the season finale should play out. If you don't want to be spoiled at all don't read on, if you are reading, please review and let me know what you think :D
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones…if I did we wouldn't be going thorough all of this :D
He was leaving. For a year, to the place that brought him more pain and horror than any other. And I was the reason.
I can still remember the day when we confessed all to Sweets. When we told him of the day we kissed and almost ended up in bed together after consuming too much tequila. Sweets had pushed him, pushed him to act on his feelings and pushed him to tell me. When he did tell me, I had to push back and push away; there was no way I could let him be with me.
I had to do what I told him, I had to protect him from me. I was no good at relationships or love and I could never be what he wanted, what he needed. After he had kissed me outside I knew that I had to push him away, he needed someone to love him in 30 or 40 or 50 years, and it was clear that I could not be that person.
He said he had to move on, to find that person, the one who could be with him, they way he needed. I wanted to be that person, god, how much I wanted to be her, but deep down I knew that I couldn't change and I would only end up hurting him more and that was something I couldn't bear. I know I was pushing it by asking him to remain partners, but I needed to be with him somehow, if not the way I wanted, at least to have a small piece of him to hold on to.
It was when he met Dr Bryar, when I first felt the full impact of my decision. He had told me he had to move on and find someone, but it still hurt incredibly to know that I wasn't that person anymore. She was exactly who he needed, she was beautiful, smart, and wanted what he wanted. She was a perfect fit, I knew she would make him happy. I only wanted him to be happy, but why did it have to hurt so much.
That was why I decided to go on the dig. To create space between us and give him the space he would need to get on with his life and the space I would need to move on and try to compartmentalise as best as I could. I was so determined to go, to leave and eventually come back with a clear head. It was a few days later that he told me he was leaving, that he was going to help with army training for a year.
I knew I didn't want him to go, because then once he left, when he came back, there would be no chance. But, I had already given up my chance, I gave it up and he was trying to move on and make things better, that was up until yesterday, when the last person I expected came and talked to me.
*******
"Hey, Dr. B Can I talk to you for a second?" Dr. Hodgins asked knocking on my office door.
"Umm ok," I answered gesturing for him to enter.
"Ok, I am going to get straight to the point. Remember when we were stuck in that car, when we were running out of air and I told you that I was in love with Angela. I know that when I came out if I hadn't told her that when I came out, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. Yes, things went askew for a while, but look at us now, we are back together and stronger as ever. I don't want you to regret anything, if you have the chance to be happy," he said.
"What are you saying?"
"I am saying, don't go on the dig. Go and stop Booth, this is your last chance. You love him, you have always loved him, I have known that since the car, you can't let this pass you by because you are scared. Life is full of regrets, don't make him one of them," he said before leaving the room quietly.
I was shocked that he had come to me like that, I would have expected Angela, Sweets, heck even Cam would have put her two cents worth in, but he usually stayed out of things and let things flow. I knew he was right, I had to stop Booth and tell him how I feel.
**********
That is how I had come to be inside a cab driving to the airport, trying to get the driver to go faster. I know that I am cutting it fine, hw will need to go through customs and all that so he would need to be through early. I can see the airport up ahead and urge the driver to speed it up for the last leg. As soon as the driver stops I leap out of the car chucking whatever cash I have handy and slammed the door shut.
Once I got into the airport, I realised I had no idea where to look. I knew that I couldn't go any further than the initial gate and I would have to have to search the airport for customs and hope he hadn't gone through yet. I rushed through the hallways, hoping that I wasn't too late, to at least say goodbye.
When I finally found what I presumed to be the customs entrance, there was a huge line. I quickly scanned the line and searched for his face, I must not have been looking hard enough, because I couldn't have sworn he wasn't there and then when I turned around to leave I heard his voice.
"Bones." I turned towards the voice like my life depended on it and searched for where it was coming from. Then I finally saw him, he was standing in the middle of the line surrounded by many. When he saw me turn around he seemed to walk a little closer towards me so, I walked over to him before I lost my courage and backed out of what had brought me there in the first place.
"Bones, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on your dig?" he asked when we were in earshot of each other.
"Umm, can I talk to you? I will be quick, and then you can get back into the line," I told him. He was hesitant at first but then agreed and followed me a few metres away from the line of people.
"What's this about?" he asked, almost nervously.
"I am not going on the dig. I changed my mind, I have realised that life shouldn't be about regrets and I shouldn't let good things go," I told him looking up at him.
"What are you talking about Bones?"
"I love you, Booth. I don't want you to leave, because I know if you do then that means you will move on and you will get the thirty, or forty or fifty years with someone else and I will be stuck here, wondering what it would have been like if it had been me. You said we should change the outcome, I want to change the outcome," I told him, I could feel tears beginning to form in my eyes. I was terrified that he would be the one to reject me this time, tell me I was too late, that he had already moved on.
"Bones, I love you too," He said, before I could say anything he kissed me firmly like he had that night. I felt tears falling down my cheeks and I knew they wouldn't stop. After a moment we both had pulled back and he spoke again. "Listen, I have committed to go to this training, but I have only said definitely for a month, I need to keep my word and do my duty. You go on your dig for a month and I will go do my thing, then when we come back, we will sort through all of this, ok."
I knew this way would work; I need time to go through things before being in a relationship with him. I nodded in response and he simply hugged me. This simple gesture made me feel safe, loved and the happiest I had in a long time. He quickly kissed me again and told me that he loved me and said he needed to go to so he would be on time. He said he would call me as often as he could and he couldn't wait to see me again.
Reluctantly I let go of him as he lined back up and waited to go through the gates. When he was at the front of the line he turned around and waved at me before he was ushered through. As I saw the last glimpse, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I leisurely turned and began to make my way out of the airport, feeling lighter and lucky that I had finally taken someone's advice and it hadn't backfired.