Konnichi wa, y'all! ^_^ Thanks for reading my fanfic! or at least clicking on the link...-_-() Well, I hope you choose to read the whole thing, and I hope you love it! Whatever your feelings, please send feedback to AuroraVash@aol.com.
Now, for the disclaimer. I hope you all know that I dun own any of these char's, 'cept mine. (Melloss) Nina belongs to Maddy, Emerald (Emmi) belongs to Ani, and Avalon (Lee) is Lee-Anne's.
Credits: This fanfic is ENTIRELY of my own creation. If it bears any resemblence to ANYTHING, it's pure accident. The only person I must thank here is Lee-chan for providing me with those oh so interesting questions for Knives. ~_^ Arigato! And, as always, merci beacoup to all of my friends, for they are my inspiration, my critics, and my BESTEEST BEST BUDDIES IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! I dun think I tell you that enough, so here I am, sending you a big I LOVE YOU! ^_^
One final note: I think the spacing on this story should be okay, but please excuse any errors. Text files really suck. Spelling errors are most likely typos, so, again, gomen. Now, let's get on with the story, shall we?
Pajama Party
Nina giggles to herself as she stuffs a final box into her overflowing closet. After an entire day of cleaning, her house is perfectly neat and tidy and all set for the impending doom-er, sleep-over...^_^()
On the guest list are the usual suspects-Avalon-chan, Emerald-chan, and Melloss-chan-and a few unexpected names...
"Oooh I can't wait until they get here!" Nina squeals and rubs her hands together.
Suddenly the doorbell rings. Nina jumps.
"Yes! My first guest is here!"
She runs to the front door and flings it open to reveal...Emmi, Mel, & Lee!
"HI!" they all shriek in unison. Clearly ecstatic about the plans for tonight, the Chans each carry a pillow, a sleeping bag, and a full backpack.
Nina ushers her visitors downstairs to the finished basement, where they all spread out their sleeping bags and dump their backpacks.
"So? You guys got the stuff?" Nina raises an eyebrow.
Mel, Lee, and Emmi exchange looks and then return their gazes to their friend.
"Of course we do!" they exclaim, breaking out in big smiles. The girls leap over to their backpacks and open them up just as another DING! Is heard.
All four females gasp as Nina breathes, "They're here..."
The Chans bound up the stairs, their host leading the way, and throw open the door. Standing on the front step are Vash, Knives, Legato, and Wolfwood. Nona of them are carrying anything, and they all scratch their heads in confusion.
"Hiiiiiii, guyyyyyysssss!" Lee greets them in a mischievous voice.
"Huh? Hey, Mel-chan, where are the donuts?" asks Vash. "You promised me all the donuts I could eat!"
"Emmi-chan, you informed me of a trap for the demon cat, Kuroneko-sama, which requires my help. Let's exorcise that damn cat!" Wolfwood holds out a cross and a Bible. (Mel recoils, and starts to melt until Nick gets the idea and puts them back in his pocket.)
Nina-san offered me hot dogs and cheesecake. Now, I'm hungry... Legato mindspeaks.
"And Avalon-san lured me here by telling me her geraniums are in full bloom!" Knives adds.
They stand in silence for a moment, watching the girls smiling brightly, as realization dawns on them.
"It's a trick!" Knives accuses, backing away.
Yes, it seems we've been duped.
Just as Knives, Wolfy, and Vash turn to run and Legato taps into his psycho, I mean psychic powers, each Chan whips out a skillet and whams each male over the head.
THUD!
THUD!
THUD!
THUD!
"Oh goody! Time to start the pajama party!" Mel bubbles, grabbing Vash's arm and dragging him downstairs, followed by her bishounen-toting friends.
*~-*-~*
"Coral? Or Flamingo Pink?"
"Hmm...Well, he's sort of an autumn, so..."
"An autumn? What's that mean?"
"...I don't know..."
"Oh look! He's awake!"
The Chans gather around Vash to watch him wake. Coming to, the outlaw finds that he is tied to a chair in Nina's basement. His usual red trench coat has been replaced by a leopard-skin muumuu. He blushes as he realizes what they'd done to change his clothes.
Groggily, Vash asks, "What's going on? Why am I tied to a chair? Why does my head hurt? Why am I wearing a muumuu?! Why are you holding lipstick?!"
"You ask too many questions!" Nina smirks.
The girls snicker as Vash looks around wildly and stops when he sees the other guys.
Wolfwood, Knives, and Legato are still unconscious, piled up in a corner, tied hand-to-foot.
Vash's eyes augment until they're roughly the size of large saucers. His scream is muffled as Lee gags him, still smiling sweetly.
"So," Mel continues. "Coral or Flamingo Pink?" She holds up two bottles of nail polish.
Emmi considers for a moment then points to the darker bottle. Mel proceeds to paint Vash's fingernails, yes, even on the robotic arm. Lee grabs a matching shade and begins the gunman's pedicure.
Nina continues unpacking the backpacks. She stacks hair spray, blush, lipstick, a curling iron, a hair dryer, and every other beauty care product imaginable on a table.
Emmi exclaims, "I'll start on Nicky-chan's hair!" She takes a box full of shampoo, curlers, a hair dryer, etc., as she scoops up her beloved priest and pulls him into a nearby bathroom.
When Mel finishes Vash's manicure, she puts away the polish, trading it for eye shadow.
"Now close your eyes and try not to move. Wouldn't want to poke you in the eye, now would we?" she warns, holding up the little make-up wand.
Vash marvels at his misfortune: he's been bound, gagged, and being given a make-over by people who know even less about make-up then him! With that, he passes out.
"Well, at least you won't poke him in the eye," Nina offers, preparing Legato for a change of clothes.
*~-*-~*
Now it's Wolfwood's turn to stir and awaken. He looks around and discovers that he's tied up and sitting an a (closed) toilet in Nina's bathroom.
At that moment, Emmi returns, carrying an armful of clothes and a box of make-up. She's also dragging a computer chair behind her.
Looking up, she notices her hostage staring at her fearfully as if the mascara she holds is actually a gun.
"Oh, hello!" She smiles. "I didn't know you were conscious!"
"Wh-what the hell are you doing?" Wolfwood stutters.
"Duh, haven't you figured it out?" Emmi receives a blank look from the priest. As an explanation, she exclaims, "Make-overs!" and dumps the clothes all over the floor.
She places the box on the counter and rummages around in it.
"Damn, not here...Well, I have to go find what I'm looking for. But first..." She yanks the man from the toilet and reties him to the computer chair before leaving.
Moments later, Emerald returns. The only thing the audience can see is the horrified Nicholas, eyes wide as plates, looking up at his captor, whose shadow is falling across his face. Then, like in cheesy horror movies, you see shadows on the wall, recognizable as Nick and Emmi.
Emmi's shadow lifts its left hand, holding an indistinguishable object.
"No...No, not that! Anything but that! Please? Emmi, please! Emmi-channnnnnn!"
Then the shadow lifts its right arm, which is holding the distinct shape of a skillet.
"Please, god, help me!!"
THUD!
*~-*-~*
When Legato comes to, he's still in the corner with Knives. The girls haven't come to him yet. He takes the opportunity to ignore the throbbing in his head and look around.
In the middle of the room, Vash is strapped down to a chair. Legato does a doubletake. (We interrupt "Pajama Party" to bring you this shameless promotion! Read my other Trigun fic, Doubletake! Look for it on ff.n or Email me! Now back to your regularly scheduled fanfiction. Have a nice day! ^_^)
Oh my...Is he wearing make-up? And what is that fool doing in a muumuu?!
The poor outlaw is still dressed in the leopard-skin muumuu, and by now his make-up job is complete, although Lee and Mel are touching up his nails. To top everything off, the girls have tied a scarf around his head, reminiscent of those of '50's housewives. Despite the circumstances, Legato is forced to smother a (evil!) laugh.
He turns his head and spots Wolfwood in the bathroom. His black hair is all in pink curlers, his face is covered in dark make-up, and Emmi is wrestling with his pants, which just won't come off! Again, he stifles laughter.
Well, there's Mel, Lee, and Emmi. That's 3...Now where's the 4th?
"Right here!"
Nina pops up in Legato's face and before he can react, she knocks him out again with a-you guessed it-skillet.
"Hee hee hee," she chuckles. "Now it's your turn, Legato-chan. What do you think, Chans? Cowboy, mailman, or pirate?"
*~-*-~*
"Drink up, me hardies!"
The first thing Knives hears when he regains consciousness is Mel doing a really bad pirate impersonation. Groaning quietly, he thinks that this little Mazoku is an awful alarm clock.
Mel's joke is greeted by giggles by the other girls. Then Lee's voice is heard:
"Where do pirates go for a drink?"
In unison, Nina, Emmi, and Mel reply, "A baaaaarrrrr!"
Knives ignores the corny jokes and waits for his vision to stop being so damn blurry! When he can see again, he wishes he couldn't.
Legato, still unconscious, has been dressed in a pirate outfit...only a whole lot skimpier. Cut-off hotpants, and a red & white striped tank top 4 sizes too small. The collar has been torn, exposing the psycho's chest and making him (according to Lee-chan) pecular.
Knives' right-hand man wears an eye patch over one eye, and the other has been thickly coated in mascara, eye shadow, etc. His lips are dark red and his cheeks are lightly powdered with blush.
Bare feet and a hook over his left hand complete the ensemble, and now it's Knives' turn to smother a (evil!) laugh.
Careful not to draw attention to himself, Millions Knives searches the basement for the other men he arrived with.
Afore mentioned, uh, men are in the opposite corner of the room. From what Knives could see, Vash and Wolfwood are dressed in a muumuu and a dominatrix outfit, respectively. (Vash has already been described so I won't bore you with the details. ~_^) Wolfwood's ebony hair is curled and tossed loosely around his head. His make-up is heavy and dark. Nick is dreesed in a tiny, leather number, similar to that of Christina Aguilera in the Lady Marmalade video, except it's all black.
The duo has been positioned (by the Chan's magic) to look like they're doing...obscene things. Vash is playing the part of the repressed housewife, cowering on the ground below Nick. The priest (I feel it necessary to emphasize the fact that he claims to be a priest!) is standing, legs spread, one arm on his hip, looking down at the muumuu-clad gunman. To top it all off, he holds a whip, frozen at mid-crack, and Emmi is taking pictures of them. After a moment, Mel and Nina join her and begin to rearrange their limp bodies.
Knives gasps in horror. Surely, this is what they're planning to do to him and Legato! His face shows melodramatic fear, but then he reconsiders. Looking back at the man with blue hair, he decides it's not such a bad thing, after all. But no one and ever know he's willing! It would ruin his reputation. So Knives pretends to be unconscious.
The Chans approach him and he quickly closes his eyes and makes his body limp. Although he can't see the girls, he assumes they've stopped in front of him. Then someone-Nina?-speaks:
"So, girls, how should we coordinate him with the pirate motif?"
"Hmmm...Hey, I know!" Lee exclaims.
"Nani?" the others chorus.
"Hand me those sea shells over there...and some string..."
Huh? Sea shells? Wha- Knives' thoughts are interrupted by two pairs of hands roughly pulling him to his feet and supporting him in a standing position.
More hands start unbuttoning his shirt, and still more unzip his pants.
Once he is undressed completely, there is a pause. Then a snort.
"He's so..."
"Small!"
"Tiny!"
"Microscopic!"
"He's definitely no 12 by 3, like Vash!"
Mad giggling as Knives tries his hardest not to blush and/or kill someone.
I can't let a little thing like that (no pun intended! ^_^) get in the way! This could be the best night of my life! Especially if the girls leave us down here afterward...
At the thought of being alone with and unconscious Legato, Knives' imagination gets carried away, and he, er, finds his pants a little tighter. That is, he would if he were wearing any. D'you get the picture? ~_^
"Hey, did you see that?" Lee asks.
"Huh? See what?" Nina scratches her head.
"It moved!" Lee declares.
"What mo-OH!" Mel cries.
Emmi shrieks and Nina cheers and high-fives Mel. Lee doubles over and covers her mouth with her hand in an effort to not laugh hysterically.
"Now the question is: is he turned on by four young women stripping him down?" Mel starts.
"Or is it the thought of being buck-naked with Legato-chan?!" Nina finishes.
"Why don't we ask him?" Lee suggests. She walks closer to him and leans her face in right up next to his. "So, Knivs-chan?"
Emmi follows suit and asks, "Which is it?"
Mel joins them and whispers, "What turns you on?"
"What gets you going?" Lee clarifies.
"What pushes all the right buttons?" Emmi inquires.
"What makes you hot?" Mel adds.
"In other words..." Emmi says.
Nina pushes the girls aside to ask, flat-out, "Gay or straight?"
They all snicker and wait for an answer.
Oh, crap. What to do, what to do! Wait! You're still unconscious. I mean, pretend to be still unconscious. Stick with it! Try not to blush! But it's a losing battle, as Knives' face has already turned crimson and beyond.
"Come on, Knives-chan. We already know you're awake. You can't hide anything from us." Emmi pokes his chest. Knives doesn't flinch, relying on sheer willpower to keep himself from ruining the wonderful opportunity in front of him.
"Hm, he's trying awfully hard to feign unconsciousness. Knives-chan, it's okay. You can tell me," Mel coaxes. She runs her finger (and very long fingernail) along Knives' cheek and down his chest, trying to elicit a response.
Nina could have sworn she heard a faint whimper, but otherwise nothing. So she shrugs it off and asks, "Well, what should we do?"
"Leave it to me!" Lee pushes the Chans aside, rolling up her sleeve.
A second later, Knives' eyes are WIDE open. He whimpers again, loudly this time, and squeezes his eyes shut while the girls laugh.
Giving up the whole unconscious bit, he says through gritted teeth, "Please...get...your...hand...off...my...DICK!"
This sends Emmi, Nina, and Mel further into hysterics.
"Make me," Lee states, barely able to keep her composure.
Knives' eyes shoot open and he tries to lift his arm, only to find he's still tied up. (Duh)
"Damn you..." he mutters.
"Why don't you answer the question?" Nina suggests.
"Uhhnnn...what question?"
"Don't play dumb with me," Lee hisses, twisting her arm and his...yeah...
"AHHH! STOP! NO MORE!" Knives screams, feeling himself teetering on the edge.
"Then answer the question."
"All right...*sigh* Legato...I've fallen in love-or at least lust-with that gorgeous man in the hotpants..." he confesses.
"YES! Yaoi! Real, live yaoi!" Nina shouts and does the happy yaoi dance with Mel. Emmi excuses herself and goes to the bathroom to throw up.
Lee doesn't do anything.
Knives opens one eye to look at her.
"Aren't...aren't you gonna let go?"
"You-you *sniff* don't find me-us attractive?" Lee asks indignantly, tightening her grip.
"NO! You're total babes! It's just that..."
"Just that what? Are you trying to say that you're...gay?"
Knives hesitates then nods his head.
Abruptly, Lee releases his manhood and seemingly has a sudden mood swing.
"OK! That's even better! YAOI! YAOI! YAOI!"
She joins Mel and Nina in doing the happy yaoi dance.
Once released, Knives relaxes and sag his body against the wall. Unfortunately, this doesn't help his, er, other problem, and he gets real impatient.
"So, you know, Now could you leave and let me, uh, take care of this?" he requests, jerking his head in the direction of...ahem...
Yaoi-addicts stop dancing and look at each other, considering. Emmi returns from the restroom just in time to hear the questions.
"Depends. What exactly does 'taking care of this' entail?" Mel questions slyly.
"Uh, well, you know..." Knives blushes again, looking at Legato then back at his crotch.
Emmi figures out what he means and starts to feel sick again.
"You mean you wanna have sex with Legato?! COOL!" Nina pumps her fist in the air as Mel and Lee high-five each other.
Knives keeps getting redder all the time.
The girls calm down and think for a moment. Lee calls a huddles, and, after a few minutes of whispered discussion, they break apart.
"Okay, but on one condition," Mel informs him.
Knives gulps and fills with dread.
"W-what is it?" he asks nervously.
"To let us watch, of course!" Nina declares brightly.
Emmi feels her breakfast coming back up and runs to the bathroom again. Knives wishes he had that freedom, but forces the bile back down.
"No way! I won't agree to that!" he shouts.
"Then you'll be suffering for quite a while," Lee reminds him.
He remains resolute and shakes his head.
Nina shrugs and they move towards the stairs. But before she starts climbing, she turns around and leaps back to Legato.
"Hee hee hee, a little present for you!" she chortles as she strips down the unconscious man and places him in a very seductive pose right in front of Knives. With a final twang! of Knives' manhood, Nina is satisfied, and she and the giggling Chans, rejoined by the recovered Emmi, start back up the stairs.
"Awwwwww waaaaaaiiiiiittttttt!" knives groans, feeling the pressure building up.
The Chans turn around and look at him innocently.
"I...I...Well, if...I mean...You...all right! Just untie me QUICK!" he relents.
Nina and Lee hurry over to remove his restraints and Mel drags Emmi away from the bathroom.
"We're gonna turn you someday, Emmi-chan. Don't try to run away!" she scolds, holding her by the collar.
Knives, glad to be free, rushes over to the object of his affection. He reaches Legato's body, but he pauses. How exactly should I go through with this...?
The Chans have huddled up again. They face Knives again, and Nina speaks for them:
"Uh, Knives-chan? Having a little trouble there?"
The blonde feels his cheeks become hot, but he says nothing.
"Don't tell me you're a virgin!" Lee mocks shock. (Ooh, I sound like Dr. Seuss! _)
He flushes again, but this time protests. "I've had sex before!...Just not with a guy..."
"Well then, that makes five of us-" Lee is interrupted by Mel.
"Hey! I told you me 'n Vash have gone all the way!" Mel cries.
The others roll their eyes and just say, "Suuuuure..."
"Ask him if you don't believe me!"
"Uh, Mel? He's unconscious..." Nina informs her.
"Oh yeah...Well, when he wakes up!"
"Yeah, anyway, as I was saying...We may be inexperienced, but we have read plenty of yaoi fics," Lee tells him.
"Not me! I don't read porn!" Emmi pipes up.
"What about Playing With Your Food?" Nina remembers. (We interrupt this fanfic to bring you another Shameless Plug! Read "Playing With Your Food," a yaoi fic written by Mel-chan! Find it on fanfiction.net. We now return to your regularly scheduled fanfiction.)
"...That was an exception...'Cause Mel-chan wrote it. And 'cause Nina-chan was reading it out loud, so I couldn't really avoid it..."
"What-EVER! Let's just get to the point! We can help you," Lee says, turning back to Knives.
"Uh...okay..." Knives agrees, realizing he has few options.
"Oh goody!" Mel whips out a clipboard and pen. "We just need to ask you a few questions."
They gather around Mel and look at the paper.
"Well you don't have to ask him some of these; we already know he answers," Lee observes.
They start going down the list.
"Yes...No...One...Yes...Hmmm." Mel looks at the suffering Knives, considering the question. She snorts. "No."
"I think we should ask him these," Emmi says, pointing to the clipboard.
"All right. So, Knives...Lace or leather?" Lee inquires.
"Huh?" Bewildered, Knives sputters and finally decides, "Leather, I guess..."
"Vanilla or chocolate?"
"As in ice cream? Or-"
"Skip that one. Boxers or briefs?"
"Now I don't think that's any of your business!" Knives declares, blushing profusely and squirming uncomfortably.
The Chans share a "look" and proclaim, "Briefs, definitely."
Knives, refusing to admit to wearing tighy-whities, protests, " Hey now, I never said-"
"Paper or plastic?" Lee ignores him.
"Um, I...Uh, well...Paper?"
"Up or down?"
"Er..." Sighing resignedly, Knives decides to give up and just anser the best he can. "I suppose down..."
"Black or white?"
"Black."
"Top or bottom?"
"Top."
"Cream or sugar?"
"Sugar."
"Ham or eggs?"
"Eggs."
"Satin or silk?"
"Silk."
"Fast or slow?"
"How about a nice moderate tempo? Knives is getting really impatient and he tries to hurry the girls.
"Are we almost done here?"
"Yeah, just a second," Nina replies.
"One last question," Emmi explains.
"Cowboy, mailman, or pirate?" Lee queries.
Knives sweatdrops. "Look, what does any of this have to do with the issue at hand?"
"Well, nothing exactly..." Mel admits.
Knives facefaults this time.
"We were just curious!" Nina defends, smiling widely.
The blonde turns red with both rage and humiliation.
"W-what? NANI?!" he screams.
"Heh heh heh," the Chans giggle nervously.
His anger builds up, steam is emitted from his ears, he grits his teeth and clenches his fists.
A vein in his forehead throbs as Knives blows his load all over Legato's naked torso.
"..."
"..."
Fists unclench, steam dissipates, and teeth part as Knives stares down at the pile of white, sticky fluid in front of him, open-mouthed.
The Chans are also in awe. The clipboard and pen fall from Mel's grasp and clatter to the floor.
"Wow..." Nina whispers.
"I didn't even know you could do that!" Emmi whimpers.
"Uh...I...Uhhhhh...Oh crap..." Knives stammers.
Unfortunately for him, it's now time for Vash to come around again.
Left in a very...compromising position from the pictures, the first thing the outlaw sees is Wolfwood's leather-clad bulge of a crotch.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he scream and leaps up and away from the priest. Not until he is huddled up in the corner of the basement does Vash take a look at the scene in the center of the room.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he screams again. "What the hell are you doing, Knives?!"
Knives stares blankly at his brother, then looks down at his limp manhood and the small mess on his servant's stomach. He looks back at Vash, then at the girls.
Opting for the easy way out, Knives picks up the Chans' skillet and knocks himself out.
THUD!
"..."
"Um, would you girls mind telling me what the hell is going on here?" Vash pleads, not taking his eyes off the two naked bodies sprawled on top of each other.
"…No…" the Chans mumble.
Taking one last look at his twin, Vash chooses to take the easy way out, too.
THUD!
"…"
Nina, Lee, Emmi, and Mel look at each other.
"Well...that was...interesting..." Nina comments.
"Yes, interesting..." Lee echoes.
"At least there was no gay sex!" Emmi, ever so optimistic, offers.
"We WILL turn you! Eventually..." Mel informs her friends, who merely shakes her head.
"So what should we do now?" Lee asks.
Pause.
"What else?" Emmi shouts.
"Take pictures!" they all cry and pull out the camera.
Mel is the photographer this time, while the others think up more hentai positions. Lee continues her job on Knives with the sea shells and Nina puts Legato's clothes back on after a while.
In a few minutes, Mel pauses from her picture-taking and sighs in a satisfied manner.
"Well, this was a GREAT sleep-over, Nina-chan! Domo arigato!"
The other Chans take a break from their work, too.
"Aw, thanks, Mel-chan!"
Before returning to their mischief, they laugh manically in unison.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (evil laugh)"
~OWARI~
Now, for the disclaimer. I hope you all know that I dun own any of these char's, 'cept mine. (Melloss) Nina belongs to Maddy, Emerald (Emmi) belongs to Ani, and Avalon (Lee) is Lee-Anne's.
Credits: This fanfic is ENTIRELY of my own creation. If it bears any resemblence to ANYTHING, it's pure accident. The only person I must thank here is Lee-chan for providing me with those oh so interesting questions for Knives. ~_^ Arigato! And, as always, merci beacoup to all of my friends, for they are my inspiration, my critics, and my BESTEEST BEST BUDDIES IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! I dun think I tell you that enough, so here I am, sending you a big I LOVE YOU! ^_^
One final note: I think the spacing on this story should be okay, but please excuse any errors. Text files really suck. Spelling errors are most likely typos, so, again, gomen. Now, let's get on with the story, shall we?
Pajama Party
Nina giggles to herself as she stuffs a final box into her overflowing closet. After an entire day of cleaning, her house is perfectly neat and tidy and all set for the impending doom-er, sleep-over...^_^()
On the guest list are the usual suspects-Avalon-chan, Emerald-chan, and Melloss-chan-and a few unexpected names...
"Oooh I can't wait until they get here!" Nina squeals and rubs her hands together.
Suddenly the doorbell rings. Nina jumps.
"Yes! My first guest is here!"
She runs to the front door and flings it open to reveal...Emmi, Mel, & Lee!
"HI!" they all shriek in unison. Clearly ecstatic about the plans for tonight, the Chans each carry a pillow, a sleeping bag, and a full backpack.
Nina ushers her visitors downstairs to the finished basement, where they all spread out their sleeping bags and dump their backpacks.
"So? You guys got the stuff?" Nina raises an eyebrow.
Mel, Lee, and Emmi exchange looks and then return their gazes to their friend.
"Of course we do!" they exclaim, breaking out in big smiles. The girls leap over to their backpacks and open them up just as another DING! Is heard.
All four females gasp as Nina breathes, "They're here..."
The Chans bound up the stairs, their host leading the way, and throw open the door. Standing on the front step are Vash, Knives, Legato, and Wolfwood. Nona of them are carrying anything, and they all scratch their heads in confusion.
"Hiiiiiii, guyyyyyysssss!" Lee greets them in a mischievous voice.
"Huh? Hey, Mel-chan, where are the donuts?" asks Vash. "You promised me all the donuts I could eat!"
"Emmi-chan, you informed me of a trap for the demon cat, Kuroneko-sama, which requires my help. Let's exorcise that damn cat!" Wolfwood holds out a cross and a Bible. (Mel recoils, and starts to melt until Nick gets the idea and puts them back in his pocket.)
Nina-san offered me hot dogs and cheesecake. Now, I'm hungry... Legato mindspeaks.
"And Avalon-san lured me here by telling me her geraniums are in full bloom!" Knives adds.
They stand in silence for a moment, watching the girls smiling brightly, as realization dawns on them.
"It's a trick!" Knives accuses, backing away.
Yes, it seems we've been duped.
Just as Knives, Wolfy, and Vash turn to run and Legato taps into his psycho, I mean psychic powers, each Chan whips out a skillet and whams each male over the head.
THUD!
THUD!
THUD!
THUD!
"Oh goody! Time to start the pajama party!" Mel bubbles, grabbing Vash's arm and dragging him downstairs, followed by her bishounen-toting friends.
*~-*-~*
"Coral? Or Flamingo Pink?"
"Hmm...Well, he's sort of an autumn, so..."
"An autumn? What's that mean?"
"...I don't know..."
"Oh look! He's awake!"
The Chans gather around Vash to watch him wake. Coming to, the outlaw finds that he is tied to a chair in Nina's basement. His usual red trench coat has been replaced by a leopard-skin muumuu. He blushes as he realizes what they'd done to change his clothes.
Groggily, Vash asks, "What's going on? Why am I tied to a chair? Why does my head hurt? Why am I wearing a muumuu?! Why are you holding lipstick?!"
"You ask too many questions!" Nina smirks.
The girls snicker as Vash looks around wildly and stops when he sees the other guys.
Wolfwood, Knives, and Legato are still unconscious, piled up in a corner, tied hand-to-foot.
Vash's eyes augment until they're roughly the size of large saucers. His scream is muffled as Lee gags him, still smiling sweetly.
"So," Mel continues. "Coral or Flamingo Pink?" She holds up two bottles of nail polish.
Emmi considers for a moment then points to the darker bottle. Mel proceeds to paint Vash's fingernails, yes, even on the robotic arm. Lee grabs a matching shade and begins the gunman's pedicure.
Nina continues unpacking the backpacks. She stacks hair spray, blush, lipstick, a curling iron, a hair dryer, and every other beauty care product imaginable on a table.
Emmi exclaims, "I'll start on Nicky-chan's hair!" She takes a box full of shampoo, curlers, a hair dryer, etc., as she scoops up her beloved priest and pulls him into a nearby bathroom.
When Mel finishes Vash's manicure, she puts away the polish, trading it for eye shadow.
"Now close your eyes and try not to move. Wouldn't want to poke you in the eye, now would we?" she warns, holding up the little make-up wand.
Vash marvels at his misfortune: he's been bound, gagged, and being given a make-over by people who know even less about make-up then him! With that, he passes out.
"Well, at least you won't poke him in the eye," Nina offers, preparing Legato for a change of clothes.
*~-*-~*
Now it's Wolfwood's turn to stir and awaken. He looks around and discovers that he's tied up and sitting an a (closed) toilet in Nina's bathroom.
At that moment, Emmi returns, carrying an armful of clothes and a box of make-up. She's also dragging a computer chair behind her.
Looking up, she notices her hostage staring at her fearfully as if the mascara she holds is actually a gun.
"Oh, hello!" She smiles. "I didn't know you were conscious!"
"Wh-what the hell are you doing?" Wolfwood stutters.
"Duh, haven't you figured it out?" Emmi receives a blank look from the priest. As an explanation, she exclaims, "Make-overs!" and dumps the clothes all over the floor.
She places the box on the counter and rummages around in it.
"Damn, not here...Well, I have to go find what I'm looking for. But first..." She yanks the man from the toilet and reties him to the computer chair before leaving.
Moments later, Emerald returns. The only thing the audience can see is the horrified Nicholas, eyes wide as plates, looking up at his captor, whose shadow is falling across his face. Then, like in cheesy horror movies, you see shadows on the wall, recognizable as Nick and Emmi.
Emmi's shadow lifts its left hand, holding an indistinguishable object.
"No...No, not that! Anything but that! Please? Emmi, please! Emmi-channnnnnn!"
Then the shadow lifts its right arm, which is holding the distinct shape of a skillet.
"Please, god, help me!!"
THUD!
*~-*-~*
When Legato comes to, he's still in the corner with Knives. The girls haven't come to him yet. He takes the opportunity to ignore the throbbing in his head and look around.
In the middle of the room, Vash is strapped down to a chair. Legato does a doubletake. (We interrupt "Pajama Party" to bring you this shameless promotion! Read my other Trigun fic, Doubletake! Look for it on ff.n or Email me! Now back to your regularly scheduled fanfiction. Have a nice day! ^_^)
Oh my...Is he wearing make-up? And what is that fool doing in a muumuu?!
The poor outlaw is still dressed in the leopard-skin muumuu, and by now his make-up job is complete, although Lee and Mel are touching up his nails. To top everything off, the girls have tied a scarf around his head, reminiscent of those of '50's housewives. Despite the circumstances, Legato is forced to smother a (evil!) laugh.
He turns his head and spots Wolfwood in the bathroom. His black hair is all in pink curlers, his face is covered in dark make-up, and Emmi is wrestling with his pants, which just won't come off! Again, he stifles laughter.
Well, there's Mel, Lee, and Emmi. That's 3...Now where's the 4th?
"Right here!"
Nina pops up in Legato's face and before he can react, she knocks him out again with a-you guessed it-skillet.
"Hee hee hee," she chuckles. "Now it's your turn, Legato-chan. What do you think, Chans? Cowboy, mailman, or pirate?"
*~-*-~*
"Drink up, me hardies!"
The first thing Knives hears when he regains consciousness is Mel doing a really bad pirate impersonation. Groaning quietly, he thinks that this little Mazoku is an awful alarm clock.
Mel's joke is greeted by giggles by the other girls. Then Lee's voice is heard:
"Where do pirates go for a drink?"
In unison, Nina, Emmi, and Mel reply, "A baaaaarrrrr!"
Knives ignores the corny jokes and waits for his vision to stop being so damn blurry! When he can see again, he wishes he couldn't.
Legato, still unconscious, has been dressed in a pirate outfit...only a whole lot skimpier. Cut-off hotpants, and a red & white striped tank top 4 sizes too small. The collar has been torn, exposing the psycho's chest and making him (according to Lee-chan) pecular.
Knives' right-hand man wears an eye patch over one eye, and the other has been thickly coated in mascara, eye shadow, etc. His lips are dark red and his cheeks are lightly powdered with blush.
Bare feet and a hook over his left hand complete the ensemble, and now it's Knives' turn to smother a (evil!) laugh.
Careful not to draw attention to himself, Millions Knives searches the basement for the other men he arrived with.
Afore mentioned, uh, men are in the opposite corner of the room. From what Knives could see, Vash and Wolfwood are dressed in a muumuu and a dominatrix outfit, respectively. (Vash has already been described so I won't bore you with the details. ~_^) Wolfwood's ebony hair is curled and tossed loosely around his head. His make-up is heavy and dark. Nick is dreesed in a tiny, leather number, similar to that of Christina Aguilera in the Lady Marmalade video, except it's all black.
The duo has been positioned (by the Chan's magic) to look like they're doing...obscene things. Vash is playing the part of the repressed housewife, cowering on the ground below Nick. The priest (I feel it necessary to emphasize the fact that he claims to be a priest!) is standing, legs spread, one arm on his hip, looking down at the muumuu-clad gunman. To top it all off, he holds a whip, frozen at mid-crack, and Emmi is taking pictures of them. After a moment, Mel and Nina join her and begin to rearrange their limp bodies.
Knives gasps in horror. Surely, this is what they're planning to do to him and Legato! His face shows melodramatic fear, but then he reconsiders. Looking back at the man with blue hair, he decides it's not such a bad thing, after all. But no one and ever know he's willing! It would ruin his reputation. So Knives pretends to be unconscious.
The Chans approach him and he quickly closes his eyes and makes his body limp. Although he can't see the girls, he assumes they've stopped in front of him. Then someone-Nina?-speaks:
"So, girls, how should we coordinate him with the pirate motif?"
"Hmmm...Hey, I know!" Lee exclaims.
"Nani?" the others chorus.
"Hand me those sea shells over there...and some string..."
Huh? Sea shells? Wha- Knives' thoughts are interrupted by two pairs of hands roughly pulling him to his feet and supporting him in a standing position.
More hands start unbuttoning his shirt, and still more unzip his pants.
Once he is undressed completely, there is a pause. Then a snort.
"He's so..."
"Small!"
"Tiny!"
"Microscopic!"
"He's definitely no 12 by 3, like Vash!"
Mad giggling as Knives tries his hardest not to blush and/or kill someone.
I can't let a little thing like that (no pun intended! ^_^) get in the way! This could be the best night of my life! Especially if the girls leave us down here afterward...
At the thought of being alone with and unconscious Legato, Knives' imagination gets carried away, and he, er, finds his pants a little tighter. That is, he would if he were wearing any. D'you get the picture? ~_^
"Hey, did you see that?" Lee asks.
"Huh? See what?" Nina scratches her head.
"It moved!" Lee declares.
"What mo-OH!" Mel cries.
Emmi shrieks and Nina cheers and high-fives Mel. Lee doubles over and covers her mouth with her hand in an effort to not laugh hysterically.
"Now the question is: is he turned on by four young women stripping him down?" Mel starts.
"Or is it the thought of being buck-naked with Legato-chan?!" Nina finishes.
"Why don't we ask him?" Lee suggests. She walks closer to him and leans her face in right up next to his. "So, Knivs-chan?"
Emmi follows suit and asks, "Which is it?"
Mel joins them and whispers, "What turns you on?"
"What gets you going?" Lee clarifies.
"What pushes all the right buttons?" Emmi inquires.
"What makes you hot?" Mel adds.
"In other words..." Emmi says.
Nina pushes the girls aside to ask, flat-out, "Gay or straight?"
They all snicker and wait for an answer.
Oh, crap. What to do, what to do! Wait! You're still unconscious. I mean, pretend to be still unconscious. Stick with it! Try not to blush! But it's a losing battle, as Knives' face has already turned crimson and beyond.
"Come on, Knives-chan. We already know you're awake. You can't hide anything from us." Emmi pokes his chest. Knives doesn't flinch, relying on sheer willpower to keep himself from ruining the wonderful opportunity in front of him.
"Hm, he's trying awfully hard to feign unconsciousness. Knives-chan, it's okay. You can tell me," Mel coaxes. She runs her finger (and very long fingernail) along Knives' cheek and down his chest, trying to elicit a response.
Nina could have sworn she heard a faint whimper, but otherwise nothing. So she shrugs it off and asks, "Well, what should we do?"
"Leave it to me!" Lee pushes the Chans aside, rolling up her sleeve.
A second later, Knives' eyes are WIDE open. He whimpers again, loudly this time, and squeezes his eyes shut while the girls laugh.
Giving up the whole unconscious bit, he says through gritted teeth, "Please...get...your...hand...off...my...DICK!"
This sends Emmi, Nina, and Mel further into hysterics.
"Make me," Lee states, barely able to keep her composure.
Knives' eyes shoot open and he tries to lift his arm, only to find he's still tied up. (Duh)
"Damn you..." he mutters.
"Why don't you answer the question?" Nina suggests.
"Uhhnnn...what question?"
"Don't play dumb with me," Lee hisses, twisting her arm and his...yeah...
"AHHH! STOP! NO MORE!" Knives screams, feeling himself teetering on the edge.
"Then answer the question."
"All right...*sigh* Legato...I've fallen in love-or at least lust-with that gorgeous man in the hotpants..." he confesses.
"YES! Yaoi! Real, live yaoi!" Nina shouts and does the happy yaoi dance with Mel. Emmi excuses herself and goes to the bathroom to throw up.
Lee doesn't do anything.
Knives opens one eye to look at her.
"Aren't...aren't you gonna let go?"
"You-you *sniff* don't find me-us attractive?" Lee asks indignantly, tightening her grip.
"NO! You're total babes! It's just that..."
"Just that what? Are you trying to say that you're...gay?"
Knives hesitates then nods his head.
Abruptly, Lee releases his manhood and seemingly has a sudden mood swing.
"OK! That's even better! YAOI! YAOI! YAOI!"
She joins Mel and Nina in doing the happy yaoi dance.
Once released, Knives relaxes and sag his body against the wall. Unfortunately, this doesn't help his, er, other problem, and he gets real impatient.
"So, you know, Now could you leave and let me, uh, take care of this?" he requests, jerking his head in the direction of...ahem...
Yaoi-addicts stop dancing and look at each other, considering. Emmi returns from the restroom just in time to hear the questions.
"Depends. What exactly does 'taking care of this' entail?" Mel questions slyly.
"Uh, well, you know..." Knives blushes again, looking at Legato then back at his crotch.
Emmi figures out what he means and starts to feel sick again.
"You mean you wanna have sex with Legato?! COOL!" Nina pumps her fist in the air as Mel and Lee high-five each other.
Knives keeps getting redder all the time.
The girls calm down and think for a moment. Lee calls a huddles, and, after a few minutes of whispered discussion, they break apart.
"Okay, but on one condition," Mel informs him.
Knives gulps and fills with dread.
"W-what is it?" he asks nervously.
"To let us watch, of course!" Nina declares brightly.
Emmi feels her breakfast coming back up and runs to the bathroom again. Knives wishes he had that freedom, but forces the bile back down.
"No way! I won't agree to that!" he shouts.
"Then you'll be suffering for quite a while," Lee reminds him.
He remains resolute and shakes his head.
Nina shrugs and they move towards the stairs. But before she starts climbing, she turns around and leaps back to Legato.
"Hee hee hee, a little present for you!" she chortles as she strips down the unconscious man and places him in a very seductive pose right in front of Knives. With a final twang! of Knives' manhood, Nina is satisfied, and she and the giggling Chans, rejoined by the recovered Emmi, start back up the stairs.
"Awwwwww waaaaaaiiiiiittttttt!" knives groans, feeling the pressure building up.
The Chans turn around and look at him innocently.
"I...I...Well, if...I mean...You...all right! Just untie me QUICK!" he relents.
Nina and Lee hurry over to remove his restraints and Mel drags Emmi away from the bathroom.
"We're gonna turn you someday, Emmi-chan. Don't try to run away!" she scolds, holding her by the collar.
Knives, glad to be free, rushes over to the object of his affection. He reaches Legato's body, but he pauses. How exactly should I go through with this...?
The Chans have huddled up again. They face Knives again, and Nina speaks for them:
"Uh, Knives-chan? Having a little trouble there?"
The blonde feels his cheeks become hot, but he says nothing.
"Don't tell me you're a virgin!" Lee mocks shock. (Ooh, I sound like Dr. Seuss! _)
He flushes again, but this time protests. "I've had sex before!...Just not with a guy..."
"Well then, that makes five of us-" Lee is interrupted by Mel.
"Hey! I told you me 'n Vash have gone all the way!" Mel cries.
The others roll their eyes and just say, "Suuuuure..."
"Ask him if you don't believe me!"
"Uh, Mel? He's unconscious..." Nina informs her.
"Oh yeah...Well, when he wakes up!"
"Yeah, anyway, as I was saying...We may be inexperienced, but we have read plenty of yaoi fics," Lee tells him.
"Not me! I don't read porn!" Emmi pipes up.
"What about Playing With Your Food?" Nina remembers. (We interrupt this fanfic to bring you another Shameless Plug! Read "Playing With Your Food," a yaoi fic written by Mel-chan! Find it on fanfiction.net. We now return to your regularly scheduled fanfiction.)
"...That was an exception...'Cause Mel-chan wrote it. And 'cause Nina-chan was reading it out loud, so I couldn't really avoid it..."
"What-EVER! Let's just get to the point! We can help you," Lee says, turning back to Knives.
"Uh...okay..." Knives agrees, realizing he has few options.
"Oh goody!" Mel whips out a clipboard and pen. "We just need to ask you a few questions."
They gather around Mel and look at the paper.
"Well you don't have to ask him some of these; we already know he answers," Lee observes.
They start going down the list.
"Yes...No...One...Yes...Hmmm." Mel looks at the suffering Knives, considering the question. She snorts. "No."
"I think we should ask him these," Emmi says, pointing to the clipboard.
"All right. So, Knives...Lace or leather?" Lee inquires.
"Huh?" Bewildered, Knives sputters and finally decides, "Leather, I guess..."
"Vanilla or chocolate?"
"As in ice cream? Or-"
"Skip that one. Boxers or briefs?"
"Now I don't think that's any of your business!" Knives declares, blushing profusely and squirming uncomfortably.
The Chans share a "look" and proclaim, "Briefs, definitely."
Knives, refusing to admit to wearing tighy-whities, protests, " Hey now, I never said-"
"Paper or plastic?" Lee ignores him.
"Um, I...Uh, well...Paper?"
"Up or down?"
"Er..." Sighing resignedly, Knives decides to give up and just anser the best he can. "I suppose down..."
"Black or white?"
"Black."
"Top or bottom?"
"Top."
"Cream or sugar?"
"Sugar."
"Ham or eggs?"
"Eggs."
"Satin or silk?"
"Silk."
"Fast or slow?"
"How about a nice moderate tempo? Knives is getting really impatient and he tries to hurry the girls.
"Are we almost done here?"
"Yeah, just a second," Nina replies.
"One last question," Emmi explains.
"Cowboy, mailman, or pirate?" Lee queries.
Knives sweatdrops. "Look, what does any of this have to do with the issue at hand?"
"Well, nothing exactly..." Mel admits.
Knives facefaults this time.
"We were just curious!" Nina defends, smiling widely.
The blonde turns red with both rage and humiliation.
"W-what? NANI?!" he screams.
"Heh heh heh," the Chans giggle nervously.
His anger builds up, steam is emitted from his ears, he grits his teeth and clenches his fists.
A vein in his forehead throbs as Knives blows his load all over Legato's naked torso.
"..."
"..."
Fists unclench, steam dissipates, and teeth part as Knives stares down at the pile of white, sticky fluid in front of him, open-mouthed.
The Chans are also in awe. The clipboard and pen fall from Mel's grasp and clatter to the floor.
"Wow..." Nina whispers.
"I didn't even know you could do that!" Emmi whimpers.
"Uh...I...Uhhhhh...Oh crap..." Knives stammers.
Unfortunately for him, it's now time for Vash to come around again.
Left in a very...compromising position from the pictures, the first thing the outlaw sees is Wolfwood's leather-clad bulge of a crotch.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he scream and leaps up and away from the priest. Not until he is huddled up in the corner of the basement does Vash take a look at the scene in the center of the room.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he screams again. "What the hell are you doing, Knives?!"
Knives stares blankly at his brother, then looks down at his limp manhood and the small mess on his servant's stomach. He looks back at Vash, then at the girls.
Opting for the easy way out, Knives picks up the Chans' skillet and knocks himself out.
THUD!
"..."
"Um, would you girls mind telling me what the hell is going on here?" Vash pleads, not taking his eyes off the two naked bodies sprawled on top of each other.
"…No…" the Chans mumble.
Taking one last look at his twin, Vash chooses to take the easy way out, too.
THUD!
"…"
Nina, Lee, Emmi, and Mel look at each other.
"Well...that was...interesting..." Nina comments.
"Yes, interesting..." Lee echoes.
"At least there was no gay sex!" Emmi, ever so optimistic, offers.
"We WILL turn you! Eventually..." Mel informs her friends, who merely shakes her head.
"So what should we do now?" Lee asks.
Pause.
"What else?" Emmi shouts.
"Take pictures!" they all cry and pull out the camera.
Mel is the photographer this time, while the others think up more hentai positions. Lee continues her job on Knives with the sea shells and Nina puts Legato's clothes back on after a while.
In a few minutes, Mel pauses from her picture-taking and sighs in a satisfied manner.
"Well, this was a GREAT sleep-over, Nina-chan! Domo arigato!"
The other Chans take a break from their work, too.
"Aw, thanks, Mel-chan!"
Before returning to their mischief, they laugh manically in unison.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (evil laugh)"
~OWARI~