Hey everyone!

This is a really lighthearted and childish story that i came up with when i had nothing else to do. It might be a little corny but it was fun to write.

This is not epilogue compliant and takes place after the war.

The song is I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred and i dont own it. I only own the plot so dont sew me!

The winter that had whitened the picturesque scenery was leaving, and with it past rivalries and old beliefs. Only the sun knew what the spring carried with it… and he was happy to say that it was something good.

"MAAAAAAAAAALFOY!!! Why on earth did you use up all of my bloody shampoo?" Hermione screamed from the top of the staircase that descended to their common room.

"umm…I felt like it?"

"that is not good enough! You knew that was my last bottle of muggle shampoo. You know how hard it is for me to get more!"

"Yes, and your point is?"

"Arggghhhh" Hermione knew this called for revenge…and she was talented at thinking up ways of getting it.

She was so teasable… anything would drive her nuts and infuriate the life out of her. And he, being the true Slytherin he was, used it to his advantage. And to tell the truth, that muggle shampoo made his hair shinier and softer than any other wizzard shampoo… not that he cared about that stuff, he was a manly, manly man…but still Malfoys were known for their beautiful pale blonde hair.

_____

"MAAAAAAAALFOOOY!! Where on earth is my school tie?? Have you seen it." She hurriedly asked. She was late for class.

"Uhh, yes. As a matter of fact, I have seen it."

"and where is it?" She asked hands on her hips, foot tapping against the stone floor.

"hmm, let me think," he said as he tapped his index finger to his lip and looked up at the ceiling.

"Malfoy! Where is it?" Hermione said through her clenched teeth.

Malfoy proceeded to lay down on the couch, head on the armrest, still looking up.

Just to see what was so magnificent about the ceiling, Hermione decided to look up. What she saw made her shake with anger. Glued on the surface of the twenty feet high ceiling was her yellow and red tie.

"I am going to fucking murder you unless you get that tie down from there and hand it to me."

"Watch me shake!" he said, clearly enjoying the scene he had created.

Hermione took out her wand and pointed it at him, she meant business. "Fine okay, okay, you kill-joy."

With a flick of his wand, the tie flew to his hand as if it were a magnet to metal. 'this isn't over yet.' He thought as he quickly planned his next move.

"Come and get it." He stated as he put it on the crotch of his pants.

"AARHG YOU MAKE ME SICK!!! THIS MEANS WAR!"

"Oh, okay, but make sure you don't enlist Scarhead on your army… I heard he's too busy shagging the weasel…wouldn't want to take time away from his duty."

Hermione didn't think it worthy to answer so she just stomped out of the room. She was now five minutes late to class and without a tie which was a guaranteed detention. 'oh well' she thought, 'it will finally give me time to come up with the revenge I desperately want.'

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEERRRR!! Why is my hair pink!!"

"you have a disease. I think its called pinkonia." She said holding her laughter; his hair was bright magenta.

"You bloody well know that I don't have a disease, what did you do to my shampoo?"

"Me?? Nothing." Hermione replied feigning ignorance.

"Fine so you didn't do anything, my lovely Her-may-ohhw-knee, would you mind telling me what I can do to get it off?"

"hmmm…. I have an idea."

"what?"

"You have to dance... today during dinner.... in front of everybody…."

"HA! You bloody well know that won't happen"

"Did I tell you that the pink hair is permanent unless I charm it away?"

"WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO LIVE THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE WITH PINK HAIR?!"

"uh, yep! Unless you give the school a show tonight."

"Okay fine!" he said as he stomped up the stairs to his room. "just keep in mind, that this isn't over yet."

"Wasn't planning on it" she replied, turning the page of her book. "oh and by the way, I pick the song."

"You are a cruel, heartless, witch"

"I know," she said cheerfully. "See you tonight."

It just so happened that that evening was the night in which that the Hogwarts, the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was being evaluated and ranked among the magical schools of the world. "This shall be fun!" she said as she rubbed her hands together. She wasn't sorted into Slytherin just for the fact that she was muggleborn.

The time for dinner had arrived, and Hermione was extremely happy. She spent about fifteen minutes talking to her friends, who were clueless as to what was going to happen soon. After she finished her meal, she said

"I'll be back in a second. you don't know what is coming your way!" Her three friends looked at her with confusion. she smiled, winked and started making her way over to the pink haired boy.

"It's your time to shine!! Break a leg!"

"What? It isn't enough with me dancing in front of the school, you want me to break a leg?"

"hmm…yea sure. I'll give you half a minute before the music starts"

Hermione made her way back, sat down; her friends looked at her more confused than ever. "oh you'll see." She said as she flicked her wand and music started playing from the walls of the old castle.

I'm too sexy for my love love's going to leave me

As the organ started to play Draco knew it was his cue to start the most embarrassing moment of his life, so he got up slowly, knowing he would regret this. As the man with the weird voice started singing the next phrase he got an idea...

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan

Dancing wildly on purpose and with a smirk on his face, Draco started making his way towards Gryffindor table. He had read in one of those muggle magazines that they sold at King's cross, that women enjoyed a thing called male stickers. That it consisted of males dancing in a sexy way while taking off their clothes.

Well, he wasn't going to go that far (unless she asked to and in private, of course) but he would show the little prude virginal Gryffindor what he could do…and get his revenge at the same time. 'I'm too smart, I deserve an award' he thought as he walked the last steps towards Hermione. Her face was red, her eyes full of tears and she was trying to cover her laughter with one hand.

And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

He was now dancing against her, grinding and shaking his crotch against her back, and trying to do everything to get a reaction out of her friends. She was red, but it wasn't because she was holding back laughter. He grabbed her chair and spun it around so that her legs faced the space between the house tables. Draco proceeded to give her a very awkward lap dance…after all, he wasn't experienced in that area.

The whole hall was now looking at them… there was some wolf whistling and clapping going along with the song. It was definitely an entertaining and unusual thing to witness. One of the events only to be seen once in a lifetime. The professors were too stunned to do anything and didn't know how to react seeing as there were people from the Ministry of Magic recording their every disciplinary move.

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song

Draco stood up, dusted the imaginary dirt off of his shoulders and smirked his evil yet totally sexy smirk. "So you liked the performance?"

"We sure did," yelled Seamus, "mind giving us an encore?"

"SHUT UP GRYFFINDORK!"

Hermione was still red as a beet, and extremely turned on, something that wasn't among her plans.

"So, Granger, I asked you a question. It's impolite to not answer" He whispered in her ear, sending chills down her back.

"Y-yes, I liked it."

"Yea, I knew you would. Now care to take the charm off?"

"We'll talk about it later" said Hermione gaining back her composure.

"Oh don't you dare." He forcefully grabbed her by the arm and made her stand up.

"Sorry idiots, I'm going to have to steal her for a moment. You can go to your rooms and jerk off to my little show. Goodnight." With that, he dumbfounded her two best friends and took their silence as an invitation to leave with Hermione in tow.

As soon as they got out of the great hall, he pushed her against the wall and demanded, "Take the pink off of my hair right this moment or you will curse the day you were born."

"Hm, interesting proposition, but I'm going to have to decline it. You see, in order to get back your hair color, you had to give everyone a performance. I'm afraid that your little show was only meant for me." She replied keeping her calm.

"Oh you little…little…little witch you are going to pay, I am not dancing again! Turn my hair back or I will not regret using my magic on you." He said as he took out his wand.

Hermione saw that coming and had an escape plan. She looked at the wall behind Draco, put on a really surprised face and yelled "ohhh no, Peeves what have you done!!" when Draco turned around to see what was going on she ran as fast as she could towards the stairs.

He was trailing behind her, just a few steps behind, mumbling obscenities, most of them about Hermione's mother. Hermione wasn't as fast as Draco but was going up three steps at once.

She was getting tired and there were still a couple of flights left to go. Giving up, Hermione discretely swished her wand and turned his hair back to normal. Of course, there weren't any mirrors around so Draco didn't notice it and continued chasing after her.

Hermione had finally arrived at their common room with two seconds advantage and whispered the password. The painting took too long to move open so Draco, still running, tackled her against the half open picture and they both fell into the Head's common room.

They were now laying on the floor, Draco on top of her, holding himself up with his elbows.

"I'm not letting you go until you change my hair back to its normal color!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and conjured a small mirror from her room and gave it to him.

He saw his blonde hair and breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks."

"Can you get off now?"

"Noup. I have another question" He said looking into her eyes, a swirling mix of green and brown.

"What?"

"Do you really think I'm too sexy for my shirt?" he asked, mischief in his eyes.

"MMMaybe" she replied teasingly.

"Oh, okay. I need a yes or no though." He said, his face getting closer

"Yes."

He then chuckled and proceeded to kiss her softly on the lips. This was the kiss that started everything.

The end.