Winky sat sadly, thinking of her long lost romance. She missed his graying hair and electric blue eye, which always stared into her soul. But he had left her and now she didn't know if she would last through the week without his undying love.

***

Five days earlier…

Winky loved to bake cookies. Unfortunately, she hated making them by herself and none of the other house elves ever wanted to because they were busy doing other stuff. So she sadly set off to clean around Hogwarts when she came across a lovely, handsome man.

"Hey, you! Make me some cookies," the sexy beast growled in his sexy voice.

"Winky would be glad to be of service! What kind would you like, sir?" the house elf squeaked.

"Snickerdoodles," the man said seductively. He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Winky swooned and fluttered her eyelashes up at the hunk before her.

"Of course, sir, but Winky must ask for something in return," she squealed.

"Anything for you, my dear."

Winky stood on her tippy toes while the manly man leaned extremely far down to match her height. He had a dreamy look in his eyes as he brought her lips' virginity to an end. Her first kiss! She would have to tell Dobby about this later….

Peeves had horrible timing and chose to interrupt them. He promptly burst into song.

"Ohhhh the bus don't go to Hogwarts! You gots to take the train…"

Just as she finished reminiscing about her "Edward"- her one true love, the man she was destined to be with- she heard the clunk, clunk, clunk of his wooden leg. Her heart leaped at the chance to finally see her knight in shining armor.

The kitchen door burst open and Winky thrust her arms around his leg. Moody looked down quizzically at the feminine house elf attached to his femur. He scowled as he tried to figure out why the creature would desire to grope him down there.

"Ohhh master!" she swooned, now proceeding to climb up his leg in an attempt to snog him senseless.

"Er…" Moody growled, pulling out his wand in defense. "I don't own a house elf…"

"B-b-but s-sir! Winky thought our love was infinite! Only five days, two hours, 23 minutes, and three seconds ago we were about to…" the house elf trailed off, blushing.

"What? Five days ago I was stuck in the bottom of my own trunk!" Moody snarled.

Unfortunately, Winky was denied the pleasure of romance once again due to Voldemort strolling in casually and A.K.-ing them both in the face.