Bar Secrets
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Only this one shot which I wrote forever ago and forgot entirely about.
I wish I could say I regret the day which I decided to become a medic. I wish I could say, that given the choice, knowing what I know now, that I would choose differently. I really wish that I could believe, that given the chance, I would walk out of Tsunade's office without having ever asked her to train me. But that would be a bold faced lie.
We medics are cursed, did you know that? Time and time again proves we will do the impossible. Women will send us Christmas cards, thanking us for pulling their husbands back from beyond the very brink of death. We witness grown, war hardened men, cry when we tell them that, yes, their girl is going to pull through. Some of us will pull miracles out of thin air, as we heal with no chakra left within our bodies. None of that matters when you learn that you have become the curse's latest victim.
I'd call it karma, but medics are generally good people. Sure, there will be some power hungry bastards within our field that will act against the norm. However, those whom chose the medical profession, heal and save lives. That alone should count as positive karma in my opinion. I guess that it doesn't. or isn't enough.
You see, our curse insures that we will always be there, trying and failing to save that one person whom we love above all others.
Tsunade had reached Dan as the last threads of life seeped out of him. She was too late, but continued to pour her chakra into his still and rain drenched body. With only the tears in her eyes and her newly formed phobia to remember him by.
Shizune lost Genma. He had taken a kunai in the back. A kunai which had been meant for her. Later, at the bar, I learned that he stabbed her in the heart with his own dying words, "I did it because I knew you could save me." Too bad Shizune was too emotional and battle wary to get her chakra to respond correctly.
I failed to save Kakashi. I had fallen close to where he laid. Which was lucky because I wouldn't have been able to move my body anywhere in the state I was in. I had no chakra left, but I poured something raw and similar chakra into his body. My efforts didn't matter. The Sharingan, the stupid legacy which so many had attributed to Kakashi's brilliance as a Shinobi, had been his down fall. The eye, which had save us all countless times, rejected this chakra like source which I had managed to produce. Pushed it straight out of his body amongst the blood.
They were three remarkable men and many times, when we share a few bottles, we talk about the curse. The three of us know the curse is real. This is why Tsunade wont let herself fall in love with Jiraiya. Why Shizune shies away from any man whom even tries to speak with her casually. As for me, I pretend Naruto is an idiot and send him off with Hinata.
We have lost more then those three men, many more. But for each life we lose, there are a hundred we save. I would have liked to regret loving Kakashi, but without loving him, I'd never be as good of a medic as I am. I never would have saved the lives I have.
I don't regret it, but it sure as hell sucks a whole lot.