"Hellooooo there!"
Hijikata winced. When he sounded that cheerful, that bastard was definitely up to no good. He increased his walking speed by just a bit, hoping that Gintoki was calling out to someone else. He wasn't.
"Oogushi-kuuuun, why're you ignoring me? Don't do that, it makes me saaaaaad." Gintoki caught up with Hijikata and slung an arm around his shoulder.
"Stop calling me Oogushi! And why are you stinking drunk so early in the morning?!"
"Eheheheh do you want to know whyyyyy?" Gintoki moved his face closer Hijikata's. "I'll tell you, but it's a se-e-kre-et so don't tell anyone else, k?"
"I don't care!" Hijikata shoved Gintoki's face away. "And don't get so close."
Gintoki pouted. Or at least, what passed as a pout with him. "That's cold, Hijikata-kuuuun. After all the trouble I went to for you too."
"I never asked you to do anything for me! Leave me alone. Whatever you did, it can't be any good." Hijikata started. "You didn't use my driver's license to rent another load of AVs did you?! The last time you did that I had to pay your overdue fees! You still owe me for that, you bastard!"
"Aww but you watched them too didn't you? It's only right that you paid."
"I always return my videos on time!"
"But we're such good friends, what're a few fees here and there?"
"It was twenty four thousand five hundred and seventy six yen." Hijikata said through gritted teeth.
"… Was it?" Gintoki had the grace to look slightly sheepish.
"Yes."
"Ah… Hahahahaha. Wellllll. I've got three hundred yen on me if you want."
Hijikata clenched his jaw. There was no point getting all worked up over this stupid drunk. He was still on his rounds, still working, still in uniform. He couldn't let himself be caught on TV beating up another drunk. Kondo-san had warned (begged) him not to contribute any further to the Shinsengumi's bad rep, and he really couldn't disobey (resist) when his commander used that tone (teary face).
"I. Don't. Want. Three. Hundred. Yen. And we're not friends. Now get lost before I slice you up."
Gintoki squinted, suddenly a lot more sober than he seemed before. "Are you jealous?"
"The hell?!"
"Aha! You are!"
"What?!"
"But don't worry, Hijikata-kun, I was just drinking with Tatsuma. Do you know him? He's the head of some huge company even though he's an idiot. He's got a reeaaaally annoying laugh. He hadn't come back to Edo for a while, so we were catching up. He's planning on marrying Oryou from Snack Smile, you know her right? So don't worry, I wasn't cheating on you." Gintoki had one of his idiotic grins on his face.
Hijikata looked like he was being strangled. He could hardly get the words out for his anger. "We are not a fucking couple. I don't fucking care who you were out drinking with last night and most of all I don't fucking care why you're drunk in the morning so just get out of my face now."
Both of them had stopped walking a while back, and had somehow managed to find a spot by the road side to conduct their hissy fight. Gintoki removed his arm from Hijikata's shoulder, and straightened up. He stuck his left hand into his kimono and right pinky up his nose. His left hand moved around, searching for something, and finally came out with a small package.
"Just wanted to give you that." He pushed it into Hijikata's reluctant hands and walked off, giving him a small wave over his shoulder.
Hijikata looked at the package. It was terribly wrapped in what looked like reused Christmas wrapping paper, a garish combination of green and shiny red stripes with a hideous purple ribbon. He didn't want to think where Gintoki had found the materials.
"What the hell." Hijikata muttered. He'd unwrap it, but only because the wrapping paper was so ugly it was embarrassing. He didn't particularly care what was inside, of course, only it would be a bit of a waste to throw it away without seeing what it was. And the wrapping paper was ugly. He'd throw that away; what was inside might actually be usable or presentable. Not that he was expecting anything good from the Yorozuya though, of course not. He just wanted to throw the wrapper away. Yeah.
He undid the ribbon and pulled the paper apart. Underneath the awful paper rested a surprisingly tasteful green scarf. He touched it. It was… Not quite as soft as the red scarf had been, and this was obviously store bought, but it was a very nice scarf all the same. An odd knot developed somewhere in the vicinity of Hijikata's chest. He swallowed. Then he swallowed again.
"Idiot." He muttered. "Who gives scarves as presents with summer around the corner?" He shoved the whole package into his pocket, wrapping paper and all, and continued on his rounds.