"… So, in conclusion, you will all become one with Russia, da?"

Several nations, even a few who were not listening, shivered. Russia, the current speaker, smiled sweetly at the others. He paid special attention, of course, to a certain hamburger eating blond, who continued to ignore him for said hamburger. Russia almost frowned at that, but then gained his smile back.

"Oh, Alfred~"

"No."

Russia pouted. France, sitting across from America, wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing America to throw the rest of his burger at him. The Frenchman laughed.

"Mon Dieu, Alfred! Save the violence for the bed, non?" He smirked as America's face gained a bright red hue. Twirling a rose that appeared out of nowhere, France gave a sigh. "Ah~ But those days are over. C'est la vie…" An eavesdropping England scowled.

"What?" America and France flinched at the British man's exclamation. France sweat dropped.

"Ah… Je regrette." He mumbled sheepishly. England glared at him. Behind him, America pointed and laughed until England turned on him.

"Shut it, you git!" America wisely shut it. Instead, he grabbed another hamburger, (please, you think he'd waste his last one on France?), sulkily sat back in his chair, and started eating. Meanwhile, England continued lecturing France, who proceeded to ignore him and grope his behind.

"You bloody frog!" America idly wondered if it was healthy to get that red in the face. Probably not.

After a while of watching England and France fight, which was always funny, he turned to look around. He had the strangest feeling that someone was staring at him…

Right. At. Him.

It was kind of freaking him out. I mean, what if it was Russia? Dear God, please let it not be him. That creepy commie bastard had the weirdest tendency to stalk people who interested him, and he was undeniably good at it. America had no desire whatsoever to be another notch in that Russians bedpost. So to speak. Hopefully.

Dear God, please let it not be him.

"Oh, Alfred~"

Shit!

Faster than if England suddenly came up to him and declared him Britons' colony once again and then tried to get him to eat his cooking, America shot out of his seat and out the door. Russia blinked. He pouted. And then he smiled a slightly cruel, childish smile.

"Kolkolkolkolkol…"

xXxXxXxX

England glared at France. The Frenchman, despite being bruised and a tad bloody in the face from when the British man had punched him after a practically imitate grope, grinned.

"Calm down, Arthur." He shivered at the way his name rolled off the other's tongue. "No need to be so violent." England scoffed.

"I beg to differ, Francis." He spat the French's name. France sighed. "Oui, oui. I suppose I did deserve that one. But in the face?" He whined.

"You groped my groin!" Arthur grit out. Francis nodded. "But in the face?" Was repeated, and Arthur shook his head in disbelief.

"It made me want to hit you." He deadpanned while France pouted. "Harsh," He said. England just sighed, "You're exasperating, you know that?"

"Oui, oui."

There was quiet for a few minutes, of which Arthur closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat. Tiredly, he noticed how America had yet to make a comment in a while and concluded he had left. Or fallen asleep. Either or. All the noise from the other nations, which had faded as his and France argument got louder, returned to Arthur's ears and left him half-annoyed and half-pleased. It was nice to hear something different from the usual jabber of Alfred or teasing of France.

And then he felt a hand go up his shirt.

"Francis!"

xXxXxXxX

Left alone, Canada sweat dropped. "What was that about, eh?" He asked Kumojirou.

"Who?" Canada sighed.

"I'm Matthew!" The bear just tilted his head to the side questionably. Canada decided he would ignore the bear for now and proceeded to look around. Earlier, he had been staring at America, trying to work up the nerve to talk to him when Russia intervened. Now his plans of spending some time with his brother were ruined and he did not feel like dealing with Francis or Arthur right now. At least when he hung out with America, the other remembered him until he left. If Canada could get his attention, that is. He sighed again.

Why must he be so invisible?

Lost in his thoughts, Canada didn't notice the presence looming over him until he was grabbed around the waist. The Canadian let out a squeal and dropped Kumojirou, who proceeded to lie were he had fallen and rock back and forth on his butt.

"Matvey~" Prussia cackled, picking him up slightly and swinging him around. "I've captured you. You're vital regions are mine!" Matthew blushed.

"Gi-Gilbert. What are you doing here?" He asked, confused. As Prussia wasn't an official country anymore, the blond couldn't think of a reason for him to be here. Unless…

"I decided to bless this boring meeting with my awesome self!" Gilbert said, sounding pleased. "So, you crashed the World Meeting?" Canada asked. Prussia sweat dropped.

"Matvey~ I've come to take you away from this unawesome place."

"But I-"

"To the pancakes!" Gilbert declared. He pointedly ignored any protests Matthew made and flung him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Then he scooped up the forgotten polar bear. And with that, he left for the other's house.

"Kesesesesese~"

xXxXxXxX

Authoress note: I'm so happy! ^^ I almost couldn't think of a way to put Canada in but then I thought Gilbert and it practically wrote itself. Anyway, this is just kind of a random fic I decided I'm going to do whenever I have the incentive. It's my first crack at the Dysfunctional Family (better know as America, Canada, England, and France).

There are no decisive pairings in this story. It's basically a mix of a bunch of them centered on the four nations. Later, the story will focus more on the DF's relationship with each other.

Anyways, here are some parings that will be shown, mentioned, or implied:

FrancexEngland, FrancexCanada, FrancexAmerica, PrussiaxCanada, PrussiaxAmerica, PrussiaxFrance, RussiaxAmerica, RussiaxCanada, EnglandxAmerica, EnglandxCanada, EnglandxJapan, AmericaxJapan, AmericaxLithuania, AmericaxCanada, JapanxCanada

Not all relationships will be romantically involved. Not all will be recuperated.

This fic is currently rated T, but may be bumped up for later content. Pairing suggestions are taken, but they must revolve around France, England, America, or Canada. I'm also thinking of doing and Asian family version of this, but that will be later (if ever). Tell me what you think (of this fic and the possible Asian one). I apologize for the long authoress note.

I do not own Hetalia. Please review.

Yours Truly,

Broken