A/N: I've had this sitting on my laptop for a while and I finally decided to finish it. I hope you enjoy the direction it went in and the perspective – I went outside my usual range for this one. It's more of an 'in the future, Titans are all grown up a bit now' kind of timeframe. Please favorite and review. I hope to gain some new readers as well as some old, friendly faces back. I know it's been a while though, so we'll see how this goes. Thanks again, everyone.
It's lengthier than anything I've written in a while, but I promise it's worth the read. Also, please go to my channel to see the wedding dress, hair style, and venue.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or the song Wedding Dress by J. Reyez and Tommy C.
WEDDING DRESS
Richard straightened his bow tie in the mirror and stared at his reflection while the rest of the men laughed and joked about him care freely, celebration and anticipation in the air. Glasses were being raised all around, friendship was strong, and in a mere ten minutes the most important wedding for them all thus far was about to take place. Richard's jaw clenched, locking in place at the thought. Nobody took notice.
"Yo, c'mon dude!" Garfield called after a little while, slapping his companion on the back and stepping beside him, eyeteeth gleaming as he smiled. Richard met his gaze in the mirror, "We're heading out there now, wedding's gonna start soon."
Victor came behind the two and rested a hand on each shoulder, chuckling as he gave them a squeeze and peered down at them. "I ain't waiting for either of y'all, I've got a big job today, so hurry! Anything goes wrong and I already promised to kick whosever butt is responsible. Got it?"
"Yeah, go ahead, I'll be out in a sec," Richard assured them both, his eyes lightening up in the slightest. He was pleased when this was enough for them. With that, Victor stalked out of the room, straightening his suit jacket as he went. Garfield wasn't far behind him, giving one final pat on Richard's back before saluting him.
"See yah out there," With that he stepped away as well, meeting his girlfriend Tara and the rest of the girls in the hall with an eager smile, the group getting ready to walk outside to the garden enclosure on the large estate to stand in their positions as the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Richard watched as the door to the room shut behind the changeling and the rest of the bridal party with slight disdain. He peeled his eyes away from the entry that was just used after a few more moments to glance at the mirror again, thoughts consuming him once more. Crossing that threshold would be it. His life was about to be turned around. Forever changed.
And it wasn't even his wedding.
Never should've let you go
Never found myself at home
Ever since that day that you walked
Right out the door
"Ready, Best Man?" Richard looked over his other shoulder, surprised to see Wally approaching him, glass in hand. Richard shoved his hands in his pockets and fully faced him, mouth a fine line. He didn't have to pretend with Wally. With no response, Wally continued in a lowered tone, "I know how you felt about her. I'm sorry, Dick. Truly."
Richard gave a shrug of his shoulders, "Thanks… But it's probably for the best." Wally nodded and patted his friend's shoulder, setting the glass down on a nearby table, eyes still clouded with doubt and sincerity.
"Donna and I will see you up there," and with that Wally walked passed him and out the door, silence encompassing Richard once more. He let out a sigh he hadn't known he'd been holding and closed his eyes, head hung low now.
This should have been his wedding.
But he knew he couldn't have loved her like she needed… couldn't always be there for her like expected. He was the biggest asshole on the planet and wished he could change that – change this, wished that he could do anything to not hurt anymore. But he knew that he couldn't have given her what she desired, what she deserved…
Not in full.
Richard loved her though – so helplessly, so thoroughly, irrevocably, and completely. He knew that. Nothing would ever change that. But he couldn't be selfish.
You were like my beating heart
That I, I can't control
Even though we've grown apart
My brain can't seem to let you go
Yet during their relationship so many years ago, if it could even be called that, he knew he had been. His cerulean eyes opened once more, holding emotions at bay as he clenched his fist and swiftly began to make his way to the door.
Flashback –
Nails dug into firm delicate flesh as their worlds and bodies collided. Eyes shut tight, hands searching blindly with need and passion. They moved in unison – he led, and she followed, just as she always had when they were younger and he had been her leader. The mattress springs below them yielded to the urgent rhythm of their bodies, and soft panting and moans were all that could be heard in the moonlit bedroom.
He'd held her close in this way so often that her body felt as though it'd been formed to fit his own. Every motion was so natural, perhaps because he had imagined this happening so many times before. He breathed words over and over into the soft skin of her neck as he kissed it. His hands grazed over every accessibly inch of her body, and once those places had all been explored, his fingers tangled themselves in her soft hair. He took in the sweet scent of her smooth, violet locks as he drove himself deeper and deeper into the heat of her body. The headboard tapped persistently against the wall as she ran a hand through his shaggy, sweat-matted, ebony hair. As she raked her slender fingers through it, she forcefully brought his lips to hers, silently urging him to continue on. The intensity of her kiss told him what he needed to know. Here and now, they were physically the closest they'd ever been; yet it was still not close enough. As he pushed himself nearer to the edge of his control, he opened his eyes and looked at the goddess of a woman beneath him. The only light that managed to leak in from behind the curtain was casting a soft glow upon her ivory skin. Her eyes were closed gently as she bit her bottom lip, stifling a moan as she grasped the sheets on the bed tightly. Seeing her in this way he knew he could no longer hold himself back and brushed his lips softly against her forehead. Just as he'd hoped, she opened her eyes, and when her amethyst ones met his blue ones, they wordlessly agreed to finish this together.
Before she could catch another breath, he began to drive himself deeper into her, harder and faster. She followed his lead; ready to go where he was about to take her. Their eyes locked intensely while they pushed themselves past any limit they'd ever known, until there was nothing but a state of euphoria – pure and sheer ecstasy.
The memory made heat rise to his face and he froze in front of the door, sick to his stomach knowing what took place just moments after that.
Continue Flashback –
Her head was resting on his exposed chest and his hand was playing with her hair as she suddenly asked him a question.
"What are we now, Richard…?"
She rolled onto her side to look at him and gage his reaction, but his eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and she could see them scrunched. He was fighting for words.
"We're… we…" he tried to answer her, tried to say something that wouldn't hurt her too much if at all, but he knew that he couldn't. Couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear. "…Friends… we're friends." Richard spoke up at last, still not looking at her, because looking at her meant seeing her pained expression. Not that it helped, because he could feel it – the confusion and complete rejection; could feel the way he had hurt her with his mere words that were once so sweet.
"Friends…" Raven repeated, turning around so her bare back was facing him.
It was now Richard who turned on his side to face her. He reached out a hand, his heart urging him to hold her to him and caress her soft skin, to tell her the truth. That their dates had been the best he'd ever been on, that what they had was more than a simple fling or fleeting romance. No, what they had was something deep – a burning passion. But, even with all this encircling his head, he let his hand fall onto the bed and ignored his heart's plea.
'I love you…' he thought desperately. 'I'll love you forever, Raven."
End Flashback
He hated himself. Completely, utterly, totally hated himself. Nothing had been the same after that; he hadn't been the same. His fist connected with the doorframe and he heaved a couple of deep breaths before calmly reaching for the handle with his freehand.
Thinking back to the old times
When you kept me up late at night
We used to mess around
Laugh and play, fuss and fight
Once outside the door, he wasn't surprised to see that none of them were still there. His quiet footsteps led him down a wide hallway, which opened up to an outdoor area with an arch, cobblestones and an elegant staircase that would lead down and outside onto the grass below where the ceremony was to take place. He saw Kori waiting inside just before the archway and calmed his features, walking up to her and taking a small breath. Her green eyes were bright as always as she smiled in both an encouraging and sympathetic way once she saw him. No words between them were needed; he knew she was aware of everything and felt similar in a sense. All their years together fighting crime and confiding into one another had made for a short lived romance that turned into a close knit friendship Richard was increasingly grateful for. Especially right now.
She nodded toward the stairs where every one of their friends had already walked together and were waiting at the front with the rest of the bridal party, with the exception of the bride, and took his arm with hers. He gave a small nod back and the two began their descent, the chairs full of their friends and comrades glancing back to look at them. The pair beamed in response, putting smiles on their faces.
Richard wished his could be real.
I guess it's too late; I'm dancing this dance alone
This chapter's done, the story goes on
Richard's eyes locked onto Roy's figure, each step he and Kori took making his stomach plummet just a bit farther. The aisle seemed to him a path of destruction, something that represented the true end to any hope of a future with the one he wanted, she one he needed, while she'd begin her life officially with another. He tightened his arm and tensed up. Ever so slightly, Kori squeezed her own arm back reassuringly before they had to part ways and take their places among the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Roy leaned back slightly and turned his head to the side, whispering in a low hush to Richard.
"Thanks for being my best man, Dick. You and Kori looked good, walking down the aisle together. Who knows, maybe in a few years this'll be you two," the archer said with a small smirk and a nudge of his elbow. Richard shook his head with a pained grin of his own he was grateful Roy couldn't see.
"Who knows I guess. You know that probably won't happen, though," he responded, "How about you worry about your own special day."
"You know I am, I just hope I didn't rush it," Roy chuckled quietly, playing with his hands and rubbing them together, "I don't know where the time went sometimes."
Richard knew exactly where the time had gone and how much of it had passed. Some of the tension he'd felt earlier disappeared at the simple thought that Roy was possibly holding any form of doubt in his mind, anything to signal a possibility of this nightmare ending. Granted, Richard wanted the best for his friend of course. Roy was like one of the brothers he'd never had. Even so, the selfish side of his heart couldn't help but tingle at the thought of such a thing in his favor happening.
Suddenly, the music gently picked up and everyone else stood.
Baby
Can't believe that you are not with me,
Cause you should be my lady
All I want is to set your heart free
The moment she came into view atop the staircase, the tight, cinching feeling in Richard's chest and stomach returned with a vengeance. Her head was down, eyes focused on the steps beneath her as she walked beside Arella. Richard shut his eyes and inhaled slowly, feeling his heart rattling in his rib cage. It had been the first time he had seen her since the team had disbanded those few years ago. He never imagined it being in this way, them meeting again. A touch on his arm from his left made his eyes open once more and he looked over to see Wally, eyes telling and a small, sad smile on his face. He nodded toward the aisle and gave Richard's arm a light squeeze, as if trying to transfer strength into him. In appreciation, he rested a hand over Wally's in return and gave a squeeze back, lips drawn tight, before looking back ahead to the aisle just as Raven finished descending the staircase and started walking toward them.
Richard's lips parted, breath hitching.
She was stunning in everyway. Her long, flowing, violet locks were compiled into a slightly curly, sleek but easy going up-do, with even her normal bangs that framed her face pulled back with the rest of her hair loosely. A single white flower was placed in it on the side. Her face was pristine, skin flawless, but what had taken Richard's breath away was the off the shoulder lace and organza wedding gown that hung on her body so perfectly. The mermaid style of it hugged her voluptuous curves in all the right places, with a sweetheart neckline and purple sash across the middle to accent her hips, the dress going out and flowing beautifully even before it reached her knees. The train hung behind her along the ground elegantly like her cloak, and the sash's bow in the back went along with it.
She was so close yet so far. She was well more than halfway down the aisle at this point, her eyes up and looking at Roy. Her mouth spread into a natural smile, and Richard's heart dropped. Seeing that smile – her smile – aimed at another hurt, and he wished so badly that it was meant for him and him alone that he almost mistook her gaze for being directed upon him. Still, he felt a tiny smile form for himself, the joy of simply seeing her so immaculate overwhelming. He held his hands together, clasped them in front of him at his waist, and kept his eyes on her, unwavering. This was not the time nor place to break.
But if you believe that you belong with him
Promise me, you wont let anyone hurt you
Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you
In that wedding dress, dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress, dress
See you in that wedding dress, dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress, oh no
Richard watched as Arella pecked her daughter's cheek and pulled away, holding both her hands as they looked at each other for but a moment more before letting her go to stand beside Roy, who took her hand in his and squeezed it. The music playing went quiet, trailing off to silence after the heroes out in their audience took their seats. Part of Richard wished he could join them, to sit amongst the rows of Justice Leaguers and Titans and simply fade into the crowd. He felt he already had for her anyways – he; they as a couple, were just a memory, a singular point in her life that had once held so much meaning, only to become nothing in the end. And him now, replaced, by one of his oldest and best friends. He'd relinquished his place by the side of the woman he loved unwillingly but knowingly, in the back of his mind, not realizing in doing so the full extremity of the consequences that would come out of it – from letting her slip from his grasp so easily.
"Dearly beloved," Victor suddenly said, calling all attention to the couple he stood between if it wasn't there already, as well as freeing Richard from his thoughts. The vigilante's eyes roamed over Roy's shoulder and onto Raven. Had she even seen him? "Heroes and friends alike. We've gathered here today to witness the joining of this man, our redheaded archer, and this woman, my little sis, in Holy Matrimony. The bond that marriage is between these two lovely people signifies to us a beautiful union, and is to be honored and shared among all y'all here today."
Bond… union… Raven and him already had those things and more. Or maybe they didn't… not after how things had ended between them. Victor continued.
"The union between husband and wife is something in heart, body, and mind – it brings mutual joy. So in this holy union Roy Harper and Rachel Roth now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why these two shouldn't be married," Victor stated coolly, looking around, "Speak now, or forever hold your peace."
'Forever.' The word echoed in Richard's head and he felt his heart squeeze in agony, protests from his mind the only thing he could hear. He'd known this part was coming, and it was taking immense strength to keep his mouth an expressionless line. Of course this wasn't right – of course there was reason these two shouldn't be married. He should be the one standing in front of Raven, looking deep into those amethyst orbs that used to sparkle up at him. He gripped his hands tighter together, as if letting go would release the secret he was holding inside.
Snappin out this misery
Depression this ain't me
But I always turn around
180 degrees
"Well alright then!" Victor called happily, clapping his hands together lightly, "Roy Harper, do you take this woman to be your wife, to have and to hold? To love her, comfort her, honor her, and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for all the days of your life, for as long as you both shall live?"
Roy grinned widely and nodded, squeezing Raven's hands in his own lovingly, "Oh, I do."
Victor shifted his attention to Raven, "And do you, Rachel Roth, take this man to be your husband, to have and to hold? To love, comfort, honor, and cherish, in sickness and in health, for all the days of your life, for as long as you both shall live?"
Raven's gaze shifted to the right slightly and Richard's eyes widened as she looked straight at him for but a fraction of a second, the first time she'd made any acknowledgement to his presence – the first time they'd even so much as looked at each other in years. His lips parted, but just as her eyes looked away back to Roy, her gentle smile returning.
"I do."
Richard's heart stopped.
You got control of me
And I, I cant explain
Somebody call 911 Emergency
Before I go insane
Cyborg chuckled happily, "Present the rings and say your vows to each other."
Roy glanced back at Richard and held out his palm expectantly. Richard didn't move for a moment, wondering if he lied to Roy and told him he couldn't find the ring and that he didn't think he had it to begin with if that would postpone and even stop the wedding from finishing. In the long run, what good would that do though? Forcing his hands apart from one another, he reached into his jacket pocket with white knuckles and pulled out the white gold diamond ring, lightly placing it in Roy's hand as he turned around to face Raven once more, taking her right hand in his.
"Rachel Roth, from the first day I met you, I knew you were a different girl. You were someone special, someone that was a mystery to me and everyone else, and I wanted to know more. And when the chance came around for me, I took it and never looked back, and I'm so glad I didn't. You've become my closest ally and friend, and nothing will ever change that." He paused as he took a deep breath, "I, Roy Harper, take you, Rachel Roth, to be my wife, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part… or you get mad at me, and I don't make it through to see another day." Raven giggled and glanced away from him, shaking her head as a few onlookers joined in at Roy's small comment. "This is my vow to you."
He slipped the ring on her finger delicately and Richard couldn't take his eyes off of it. It was a symbol now, a reminder that she was forever taken, and she no longer could be his. He drew in another calming breath.
"Roy Harper…" Raven whispered, smiling slightly before sighing, "You showed me that no matter what happens, there is always a silver lining. You showed me how even someone like me, who never dreamed of one day finding love, could have it, and so fully. You found me, and helped me more than you will ever know… you found my heart, I let you in, and there you'll stay. I promise." Richard's eyes saddened as he looked down, teeth clenched unnoticeably. Each word hit him like a knife to the heart. "I, Rachel Roth, take you, Roy Harper, to be my husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part," she slipped the ring on his finger and the two held hands, fingers intertwining, as Raven whispered out finally, "This is my vow."
Since you've moved on
You took a piece of me give it back
So much pain in my chest,
Blacking out, heart attack
Victor once again spoke up and Richard looked up to him. "Then with the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride!"
With that Roy wasted no time in pulling the beautiful woman to him and wrapping his arms around her, kissing her lips. Everyone rose and cheered for the happy couple as they continued their kiss before parting, looking at the crowd warmly, Raven smiling shyly in a way all the while that Richard knew all to well. And suddenly, all too soon, she was walking away from him again, down the aisle with her arm linked with Roy's. It took him everything not to reach out his arm to her, to call out her name. He sighed and looked beside him to see Kori already waiting to walk down the aisle once more, the same encouraging smile on her face. They laced arms once more and followed behind the newly weds, Wally and Donna behind them, and Garfield and Terra behind them.
Even so, Richard's eyes never left the back of her figure, as everyone retreated up the staircase once more and followed their path back down hallways, the pairs now coming up to all walk with each other and laugh and talk. All except for the bride and groom, though, who were holding hands and pecking lips whenever they had the chance as they walked. The bridal party suddenly stopped one another, Tara whispering as she spoke up.
"Let's give them some space, guys, and head back to the rooms over here," she said, pointing down a different hall. There was agreement as they all began to walk on ahead, Richard staggering behind though, hands thrust into his jacket pockets. All he wanted to do now was to go to her and talk – to at least try and say something. He watched as the last of the bridesmaids and groomsmen disappeared through one of the rooms they'd been getting ready in before glancing back behind him. He was going to find her.
He turned on his heel and walked calmly back down the hall, wondering what words he would even start with. He didn't have much time to think about it though or look hard for her, as he saw her and Roy standing in the hall, embracing and kissing slowly. He could barely pull his eyes away at first, anger clouding his mind. He should have expected to see this though… should learn to get used to it.
I guess it's too late, I'm dancing this dance alone
It's too late
Suddenly, he watched as Roy pulled away and pecked her cheek, excusing himself with something inaudible Richard couldn't hear before the archer stalked off down the hallway and disappeared. Raven leaned against the wall and looked after him. Without thinking, Richard walked towards the beauty just a short distance from him, ever nearing as he approached. Just as he was a couple feet away, he noticed her body shift and she glanced behind her shoulder. She obviously must have sensed his presence. He stopped getting closer to her and inhaled calmly, eyes boring into hers. She smiled care freely.
"Richard…" she trailed off, almost somewhat surprised to see him standing there before her. She turned her body to fully face him, hands behind her back. "It's nice to see you, it's been so long."
Nice? He hadn't been expecting her to think that seeing him again would be a joy or even great, but not even just good? In his mind, this was heaven to see her again, but under such circumstances also his own personal hell. Yet for her, this was just 'nice'.
'Yeah,' he supposed, 'that's how people in our situation would probably feel... nice. At least it isn't worse.'
He cleared his throat. "Yeah, it's good seeing you too, again," he managed, not able to help himself from smiling back at her. Finally, after so many years of defeating Trigon, it amazed him how much lighter and happier she seemed to be. "I was hoping we could actually talk for a bit, and – "
"You know, now isn't a great time to talk, you know? We have to get going to the reception now. All of us do," she said casually, her tone simply matter-of-fact, almost detached of any kind of emotion that he had been expecting for her to express to him after everything he had done to them. "If you want, we can later sometime when we're there with everyone tonight."
Richard looked up from Raven's face finally to see Roy coming back a ways from the end of the hall behind her. He clenched his hand into a tight fist in his pocket where he had kept it, simply nodding to her as he turned away to return back to the rest of the bridal party. He was sure to put a happy face on as he did so.
"Sounds good… see you back at the Tower, Raven."
Baby
Can't believe that you are not with me
'Cause you should be my lady
All I want is to set your heart free
"Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for the new Mr. and Mrs. Roy Harper!" Beast Boy's voice boomed over the intercom system as Raven and Roy entered the main room, hoots and hollers from everyone greeting them as they walked in. Richard hung off to the side, lightly clapping as they passed.
The Main Room to the Titans' Tower had been recreated into a beautiful place to hold the reception. The black ceiling was covered and draped elegantly with strings of white lights, giving a starry effect inside, with white cloth-covered round tables put inside near the largest window where the U-shaped sofa usually was. Decorative purple and white lilies were the centerpieces for each table, and Victor had built in dim mood lighting all around the room on the walls to add to the cozy atmosphere. The bridal party's table was at the front of all this, closest to the window in front of the others, looking out to the ocean and view outside. The middle area to the room was lined with the usual cabinets and countertops and held on them deserts and snack foods for anyone who wanted it after the main courses, but there was space enough for the dance floor and Argent's DJ booth to be put off to the side amidst it all. Between Kori's talent for decorating with a feminine touch and Raven's overall vision, the two had pulled it off.
"And now, if everyone could take their seat, your meal is already at your spots and the drinks will be a-flowing, courtesy of our favorite half robot!" Beast Boy announced to everyone, laughing to himself as he saw the glare Vic was shooting at him as everyone made their way to the tables to continue their conversations, enjoying the good company and equally delicious food.
After a while there was a clinking of a glass and Richard looked up from his fork where he was idly pushing a penne noodle aside to see Kori slightly floating off the ground, smiling warmly. She set the knife down and kept her glass in her hand.
"I would like to propose the toast to our newest super couple, Roy and Raven, before Friend Richard gives to us his speech." Richard tightened his grip on his fork and reached for his beer with the other. Shit. The speech. "May your days be always cheerful and in each other's company, as well as here among your friends. I have known Friend Raven for a very long time, and it is most spectacular to see how much things have changed and how far you have come today, my dear sister," Kori said, smiling to Raven now alone, both girls with tears in their eyes. Kori raised her glass and turned her smile to everyone else watching. "To the happy couple!"
Everyone voiced their agreements and raised their glasses, clinking with everyone around the tables and laughing happily. Suddenly, people started chanting 'speech, speech, speech' and stared at Richard, who took a short breath before standing up as Kori had, taking his tux coat off and slinging it across the chair, beer in hand.
"Well, just so we can all spare ourselves a long speech about how long I've known these two and how much they mean to me, let's get on to just say how… proud I am, and happy, to see these two in front of me today," Richard got out, eyes on the couple beside him at the head of the table. "Because, love is important. Maybe the most important thing in this world…" Richard's eyes landed on Raven's and she stared back, her hand tightening its' hold on Roy's, "And I'm glad that they'll be able to experience it for many, many years to come. Just make sure you never hurt her, buddy. Or I'll kick your ass like I did back during our younger days."
Richard winked to Roy good-naturedly who playfully glared and punched his friend's arm, everyone beginning to laugh, the old Boy Wonder's charms infectious. He raised his bottle and called out above the clapping and laughter, "Once more, to the happy couple."
Glasses clinked once more and Richard sat down, just realizing now how unsettled his stomach was and how shaky his legs had been. He took another small swig of his beer.
But if you believe that you belong with him
Promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you
Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you
In that wedding dress, dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress, dress
See you in that wedding dress, dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress, oh no
Richard glanced to the side as Roy got up and offered his hand to Raven, who took it and followed him around the table. Richard's eyes followed them as he mumbled over to Wally on his other side, "Where they going?"
"First dance as husband and wife I'm sure, keep up Dickie," Wally said with a chuckle, facing him, "You haven't been to very many weddings, have you?"
"Nope," Richard said, deadpanned. He watched the two lone figures on the makeshift dance floor pull each other close, smiling. The feeling in the pit of his stomach – jealousy, he had realized it was – stirred again. Suddenly Beast Boy was in his line of vision, blocking his view on the other end of the table across from him.
"Dude don't worry, we're allowed to go up next. Don't have such a long face," he assured him, eyeteeth pointing out from his grin. "We'll bust the moves!"
Wally laughed, slapping his hand lightly on Richard's back, making his friend look over at him. "I dunno about that BB, I don't think Dick here can keep up with me."
"Honestly, who can, man?" Beast Boy chortled, before peering over at the girls' end of the table. "Hey Tara! Get ready to shake it, girl." He gave a wave to the two men and walked off to go talk to her and the ladies, giving Richard his sight of the pair back. He went quiet and Wally noticed his gaze, sighing.
"Man, you've gotta get that look out of your eyes. You have to try and enjoy tonight," he reasoned, resting his hand to Richard's shoulder and squeezing it before giving him a good shake. "I know it hurts, but there's nothing else you can do."
"Maybe not," Richard said with a frustrated sigh, "But theirs is something I have to."
He pushed his chair back and stood up just as the slow song Roy and Raven were dancing to ended, a few of the still sober heroes clapping around them. Wally simply watched as his friend walked past him and made his way towards the dance floor, eyes focused on one thing.
And I see you with your man
and it's hard to understand
If we belong, if I did you wrong,
where we even began
"Mind if I interrupt?" Richard asked Roy with a friendly smile, eyes showing no hint of his feelings moments before. Roy grinned.
"Sure, buddy. Take care of her for me," he pecked Raven's cheek and let go of her, leaving the two birds to stand with each other, eyes not leaving the others as other couples joined them on the dance floor finally as another slow song came on. Richard held his hand out to her.
"Shall we?"
He saw a slight hesitation in her eyes before she nodded and placed her delicate hand in his outstretched one. The moment she did, he gently tugged her body into his, resting his hand on the small of her back. She gripped him tighter in slight surprise and looked down, her other hand resting on his shoulder lightly before she looked back up at him again, calmer. Richard smiled down at her as they started to sway and dance to the slow, rhythmic song. Try as she might have earlier, her simple shyness just now and quietness indicated to him she wasn't being completely open with him and had her guard up. He was sure that wouldn't be the case for long.
We would always fuss and fight
and it seems nothing was right
But I loved you girl and you were
my world but you'd never trust this guy
"So, when did this happen?"
"When did what happen?" Raven asked, eyes intent on Richard's face, somewhat puzzled.
"You and Roy," he cleared up. She sighed.
"Almost two years ago."
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, keeping the questions coming. They twirled around slowly a few times before Raven answered.
"Richard, we haven't spoken in years," she murmured, eyes downcast once more, head facing sideways. "I never exactly thought to give your communicator a ring, let alone it be about that."
"Fair enough," he murmured back, their voices inaudible to everyone else. "So what was it, then…?"
"What was what, Richard?"
His voice became gentle and soft, almost sad, as he pulled her closer against him, "What was it that made you fall for him?"
Heat rose to Raven's cheeks as she looked back up to him finally in surprise, her eyes showing a hint of pain and confusion. His eyes didn't leave hers as he watched the hesitation on her face.
"It was nothing big, it just happened…"
"Rae, just tell me. Tell me what he did that stole your heart."
"He didn't steal it!" she whisper-hissed back, holding back the rising tone in her voice. This made Richard tighten his grip to her. Oh, but he had. The archer had swooped in and stolen the heart of the woman he loved. That was something he was sure of. Something so precious that had once belonged to him. He felt his composure ready to give way and suddenly he broke away from her, but kept a firm grip on her hand, beginning to walk with her toward the doors of the Main Room. She didn't fight him, but her eyes looked back to the masses of people partying, oblivious.
"Richard?"
"We need to talk. Now."
'Cause the things I do when
I'm on the stage,
they say I'm a superstar
You couldn't understand all
the female fans
and then we grew apart
"Richard!" her voice rose when they were out of earshot from anyone. It didn't matter now anyways, as the music had picked up to a much faster beat inside the reception. She glanced back at the closed doors before looking back at his fast moving figure as they rounded a corner, walking further down the hall before he finally stopped and released her hand. It took him a moment before he turned around, a hand running through his shaggy ebony locks.
"Why, just why can't you answer me anything? What's so hard?" he asked straight forward, his eyes pleading now at this point. He walked closer to her again and she tried to keep her ground, arms crossing over her ample chest.
"There's nothing to say, now…"
"Like hell there's nothing to say!" His tone rose exponentially, making her jump slightly and dig her nails into her own arm. "You can't tell me that you just let go everything that happened between us so suddenly in a matter of two years – from the good to the bad – you can't tell me you've forgotten."
Her cold eyes softened, and her tough exterior slightly waned as her thoughts were forced to retreat back to the past. "Of course I haven't forgotten, but I wish I could," she whispered, "Wish I could forget the way you've made me feel and think about you, because it didn't work… you didn't let us work."
He didn't know what to say to her. She was right; he hadn't let them worked, hadn't fully given them a chance because he had been scared – terrified, actually, of his feelings and where they could lead. His mind had been on one thing and one thing alone, and that was protecting the city as Nightwing. His future as a man in a steady relationship, as a married man… it seemed non-existent, something he didn't need. But he knew that had been a terrible lie he'd created to try and make himself feel better. No, he wanted her. He still did, he always had and always would. The look in her eyes reminded him of all those years ago, before anything bad had happened, when they were just realizing themselves and what they were feeling for the first time. His memories circled in his mind, overwhelmingly so, until all he could see was the woman before him staring back at him the same why he was looking at her. He didn't care anymore, didn't care about the consequences that were sure to ensue or that his frustrated emotions were getting the better of his pent up feelings. Without thinking, he closed the gap between them, pulled her body to his and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her passionately. He heard her gasp into his lips.
And I just don't get when
you're acting like some other person
But I try my best to hold on
at the times when it ain't working
He didn't care if she pushed him away, he was going to try, was going to see if any remnant of the past was left in her, in them. His lips moved against her smooth ones beggingly, in need of her. He wished he could convey everything in his head, everything in his heart, to her through this single moment.
His eyes flew open suddenly when he felt her lips slowly begin to move back against his own, a slight groan and whimper emitting from her. He didn't question it, didn't stop it. He eagerly tightened his hold on her hips.
They moved in unison – he led, and she followed, just as she always had when they were younger and he had been her leader…
She smelled sweet, and tasted even sweeter.
Soft panting and moans were all that could be heard…
Her hands hesitantly rested on his chest. His clothing didn't even matter, where she touched burned him, set his skin on fire and made him feel alive.
Every motion was so natural, perhaps because he had imagined this happening so many times before…
Her kisses were slow and gentle with him, nothing compared to the heated ones he was giving her. He lightly bit at her bottom lip and sucked on it, knowing exactly what she liked and what to do to her – how to touch her and where to touch her. A hand moved up her back and touched at her spine lightly before going over the bare skin above her dress.
Her eyes were closed gently as she bit her bottom lip, stifling a moan as she grasped the sheets on the bed tightly...
"Richard…" she breathed his name out weakly. Oh god, her voice. It drove him mad. This wasn't for Roy, wasn't for anyone else but him. He moved his kisses to her neck and whispered her name over and over into the delicate skin, as the hand that had been on her upper back moved into her hair, gripping it gently.
He breathed words over and over into the soft skin of her neck as he kissed it...
His lips moved back over hers eagerly, not able to get enough of the dark woman. She gripped his buttoned up shirt.
She followed his lead; ready to go where he was about to take her...
He couldn't hold back. He pushed her up against the wall; their bodies pressed together, their kiss holding back nothing.
Here and now, they were physically the closest they'd ever been; yet it was still not close enough...
Suddenly, her grip on him left and she pressed her palms to his chest, pushing at him. Surprised, he pulled his lips away, looking down at her, both panting from the sudden, heated moment. She couldn't bring herself to look at him or meet his gaze, finally gasping out in a stammer,
"This is wrong, this is all wrong. This is my wedding day." She covered her face with her hands and rubbed at it, trying to focus her jumbled thoughts. Richard's eyes widened, pain overtaking him once more. Of course she wasn't about to be his. But god, that kiss…
"No, Raven, please. It's okay, what we feel here, this," he quickly started, grabbing her arms gently and smiling at her, "this is so real, realer than anything that – "
"Than what? Than I have with Roy? Richard you don't know anything that's gone on in my life, I don't know yours…" she shrugged free of his grasp and finally looked up at him, holding back tears with everything she had as her blushing face began to wane of her previous revelation of emotions. "We will never be what we once were… we can't, no matter what trace of feelings still linger. You're too late… and I'm… I'm somebody else's."
"No! Don't say that, this isn't it, I know it doesn't have to be, I know this looks bad but, but," he continued to try, knowing he was in a losing battle. The once unstoppable leader of the Teen Titans knew he was no match for her. He wished his words were enough, wished her words were a lie. But she was resolute. She shook her head sadly and pushed him away.
And every time that you say
it's over it breaks my heart
and I don't know why
'Cause you've done it a lot
of times in the past
but I get back up and try
He watched sadly as she pulled herself away and silently retreated back from when they came, her back to him once more. He couldn't force her, couldn't make him come back to him. All he could do was try. And it hadn't been enough…
Before Raven could round the corner, Kori, Donna, and Wally did. They looked somewhat surprised when they saw the bride walking past, hesitating whether they should say anything or not. They decided against it when she didn't bring her gaze up from the floor, Kori looking to Donna with a troubled look on her face. When they looked up again they finally noticed Richard, who hadn't moved from his spot, arms at his sides and breathing slowing. The trio rushed to him.
"Richard, what is it? What just happened? We noticed you two were gone so we – "
"Follow her," Richard interrupted, his eyes meaningful, as he looked straight at the two girls. "Make sure she's okay… and that she has a great time."
"Friend…"
"Please Star."
At the use of her old nickname he hadn't refereed to her as in ages, Kori blinked and shared a glance with Donna, before the two girls nodded and without explanation ran back down the hall as best they could to their friend. Wally looked at Richard worriedly, having heard the pain in his voice and seeing the new dark expression that had taken hold on his features.
"Dick, what happened?"
"I can't stay anymore," was all he simply said tugged at the bow tie, ripping it off from around his neck and shoving it in his pocket. Wally's eyes widened as he quickly zipped to Richard's other side when he tried turning away.
"But – "
"But nothing. I tried my hardest…" he trailed off. "But this, this is too much."
"Then where are you going off to? What are you doing?"
Richard lightly rested his hand on his friend's shoulder and pushed past him, walking toward the elevators and not looking back.
"What I do best."
You said we could work it out,
how could you hurt me now
And you moved on to the next,
I'm left with an imperfect smile
The wind whipped the vigilante's hair around his masked face, his lithe, red and black costume-covered body tensed and crouched on the edge of a tall building. His heavy breathing was finally easing, after having taken his frustration out on a group of not-so-innocent thieves, and his eyes were staring straight into Titans' Tower. The building right on the outskirts of the town nearest was in perfect view and perfect height to see everything – including the small group of people that were left.
The bridal party – or what remained of it after he had left – was standing around, embracing and giving one another small kisses on the cheek, signs they were saying their goodbyes at last. His focus honed in on one pretty bird in particular as her groom kissed her lips softly before pointing in the opposite direction as he walked off with the other guys.
He watched as Raven saw him go before walking away, going to the large bay window and staring outside, eyes aimlessly looking to the far end of the downtown area that was Jump City. Nightwing wondered if he had made a terrible mistake in leaving, wishing that her searching eyes were looking for him. Had she even cared he had gone?
As if on cue, Raven's gaze shifted with ease to the other side, and she met his eyes immediately, as if knowing he was there all along, watching, even from a fairly great distance. He didn't move, he hardly even breathed, wondering if he did, if she would as well, and be gone from his sight forever. But she remained there, staring out at him in the dark of the night, the two locked in an odd moment, as if lost in each other. Nightwing wondered if her thoughts were racing as his were, if she regret everything that had happened as he did. He saw her tilt her head slightly and touch her fingertips to her lips. Yes, she was thinking about him, about what had happened. The thought she wanted it again made him almost get up and go to her.
Almost.
Without warning, Roy came back into view behind her and touched her hips softly, whispering something into her ear before kissing at the back of her neck. Nightwing's teeth gritted, his heart pumping with rage once more, wishing he could rewrite the past. He noticed, as he kept his eyes on Raven, that she flinched slightly from the touch and kiss, hesitation crossing her face. Nightwing slowly stood up from his crouched position, wanting nothing more than to know what was on her mind. But he knew he never would.
Like a true woman, she composed herself and looked back at Roy, a small smile appearing on her face, as if to not only reassure him she was happy, but also herself. Nightwing continued to stand there though, hoping still that she would give him a sign, something. Something to show she cared.
He received nothing.
For what must have been the third time that night, she turned and walked away, not looking back, as he was forced to watch. He clenched his fist almost as tightly as he closed his eyes. The pain was too much. Without allowing any further time to dwell, he turned in the other direction as well, blue eyes wide open now beneath his mask as he got to the edge of the building and leapt off it, a police siren in the distance calling out to him.
This was his life. This was who he was.
But if you believe that you belong with him
Promise me, you wont let anyone hurt you
Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you
In that wedding dress, dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress, dress
See you in that wedding dress, dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress, oh no
No… he could never be the man she needed him to be.
The End
If you're seeing this, thank you for reading my story, and thank you in advance for reviewing it. I hope you enjoyed. Criticism is greatly appreciated and welcomed.
DarkGirlRavenGrayson