Disclaimer: I don't own anything in or related to Yu Yu Hakusho.

For Love of an Illusion

By: Fier Shadowquest

PROLOGUE

How far would you go to achieve a dream? How long would you wait, holding on to that fantasy? Would it be worth it? I have been to the brink of insanity and back for what others have deemed impossible. My love, my passions, my dreams, they are the only things that have held me together all these years. The people that call themselves my family have condemned me. My friends have abandoned me, moving on to "greater things" as they liked to say.

They are all the same.

No one believes me. I have been through counseling, and therapy, and many other "helpful" programs, each one more hellish than the next. Delusional. Schizophrenic. Nut-job. Every conclusion came out the same. I was beyond help, as one doctor said.

Not true. I wasn't beyond help. It's just that no one here, in this world could help me.

I was waiting for someone.

I know, silly girl, waiting for some boy long gone. Waiting for a boy that never existed.

But I don't care what others think. They don't understand. Even if they were there, even if they saw it all, they still wouldn't understand. Not really.

Not us.

So I wait for him. It will take time, years of it, but I know that he will come to me. This he promised, and he has never broken a promise yet.

I have a new doctor today, since the last one finally decided to wash her hands of me. She's young, I note. Her blue blazer complimenting her neatly pinned blond hair. She smiles brightly, arranging crisp sheets of paper in front of her, and asks me to sit down. Behind oval glasses, her blue eyes shine with genuine friendliness, a trait so rare in this drab place.

I decide that I like this woman.

"Hello Miss Kheldon. I'm Mrs. Wheeler, but seeing as we are going to see a lot of each other you can call me Rhiannon."

"Rhiannon . . ." I repeat slowly, thinking. A tiny smile touches my lips. "After the song or the folk tale with the fairy queen?"

She blinks once, obviously surprised. "Well, I'm impressed," she admitted. "You're the first one who even knew about that old tale. But no, the song has nothing to do with me Miss Kheldon."

"Jade," I corrected. "If I can use your first name, then it stands to reason that you can use mine."

"Alright."

I gave her a smile, and feeling chatty said, "About the name, you shouldn't be so surprised. I know lots of legends. I had nothing else better to do, so I raided a friend's library. And I must say . . ." I flashed a wicked smile. "She had a lot of questionable books in those shelves of hers."

We talked for a while. Idle chatter really. All the other doctors did this too, but she seemed more at ease than the others had been. It made me fell relaxed around her, a good quality in her line of work. I wondered briefly if she was aware of it or not.

Finally, she brought up the main topic, the one she was hired to analyze and remedy. As tactful as can be she asked me who he was, the one I spent so much time waiting for. "Tell me about him."

I pointed to the papers on her desk, and the thick folder next to them. "You have my file. You already know, if not, my previous . . . advisors would be delighted to tell you."

"I want to hear it directly from you. No hearsay."

I sighed and folded my hands in my lap to keep them from toying with the neckline of my shirt. "Well, if you insist. What do you want to know?"

Rhiannon looked at me evenly. "Anything. Everything. Jade, you can tell me whatever feels comfortable to you. As much or as little as you like."

Since she asked so nicely . . . "I can tell you the whole story, if you want. But I'm warning you it may take a while."

"We have time."

"Alright," I nodded. "His name is Hiei. And this is how we met."