~*~Three Words~*~
by Hatter of Madness
"But love, I've come to understand, is more than just three words mumbled before bedtime."
Alice loved everything about him from the moment she laid eyes on him.
He was pale—really pale—which was contrasted nicely by his bright orange, maybe red, hair. His green eyes sparkled when they fell upon her at three inches tall. When he saw her, jumped on the table, and walked the length of it to where she was, she saw him as an acquaintance. When he greeted her, he became a friend. When he invited her for tea, it became something more.
She wasn't sure what it was, but ever since she arrived in this 'Wonderland', she became fascinated with the place and could scarcely speak, finding no words to describe its beauty, yet simplicity. Now, she couldn't even say a simple 'hello' next to him. He talked animatedly and she was so struck by his speech she could scarcely speak herself.
What happened next moved so quickly she could scarcely fathom what was happening when suddenly the Hare said, "Red Knights!" Before she could even look over he was handing her a small bottle.
"Drink this," he commanded. Alice obeyed and forced the rancid liquid down her throat. She shrunk to about half her size and he quickly stuffed her into a teapot. "Watch your head," he warned, his touch sending shivers down her spine. The feeling did not leave once he let her go; she had a feeling that the Knights wanted her dead.
"Greetings, gentlemen," he said, his voice sweet as honey.
"Well, if it's not my favorite trio of lunatics," was the reply. Alice tried to look out at the Knights and the trio of lunatics—mainly him, however—through the spout, but only succeeded in seeing one of the Red Knights.
"You're late for tea, as usual," the Hare replied. He seemed agitated by this fact. Alice wasn't sure what the Hare or her sweetheart, as she decided to call him, were talking about. Were they trying to hide the fact that she was there? Were they friends with these 'Knights'? What was going on? She craned her neck to get a better view.
"How fares the Red Queen?" asked her sweetheart. "Or is it White? Who is sitting on the throne these days?" Now she knew what was happening. They were trying to make themselves look innocent and protect her at the same time. They had to be—had they not just been discussing the Red Queen just minutes before these Red Knights made their appearance?
"We're looking for the girl called Alice," said one of the Red Knights. Alice's heart skipped a beat. No. Alice crouched down, afraid to be seen. Odds of it were unlikely—as long as her sweetheart kept one hand on the lid at all times, she would be safe. He wouldn't let her be caught. Suddenly Alice was quite aware of a bloodhound sniffing around under the table. Looking for me, no doubt, she thought in a panic.
"Speaking of the Queen," someone—Alice wasn't certain but she could have sworn it was the Hare—said, "here's a song I sang at her concert: Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you're at!" Alice peeked out through the spout curiously as one of the Knights grabbed the Hare's throat. She gasped and covered her mouth, catching herself.
"The Alice!" the Knight snapped. "Have you seen her?"
"Before we answer that, you'll have to answer a riddle," her sweetheart said.
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" the Hare said.
"That's a good one. Answer that if you can."
Suddenly he was being attacked. Alice grew fearful, both for her life and for him. Surely anyone else would have screamed out for their darling, but Alice was too gripped with fear to do anything except observe the scene.
"Have you seen her?" the man barked again.
"Have you guessed the riddle?" her sweetheart said back, as if this were all some big game.
The Knight chose to ignore the question being asked and went on, saying, "If you are hiding an enemy of the Queen, you will lose your heads!"
Alice was nervous. Not him, she thought desperately. You can take me if you want but leave him alone! She clenched a first from within the teapot.
"Already lost them!" the Hare said. "Sing together now!"
As if on cue—probably because they did have a cue—the three started to sing, "Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky!"
Alice, knowing what would happen next, shut her eyes tightly, as she could hear her friends being attacked again. She dared open them again—she could see the dog getting closer…when suddenly…
"Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid."
The dog stopped. Alice couldn't believe it. Alice refused to believe it. Her sweetheart had pretty much been speaking Gibberish and the dog stopped what he was doing. The dog was looking up and, as if understanding, pretended to catch a new scent. The Knights took notice immediately and one of them paused even to say, "After him." The same one lingered for a moment, said, "You're all mad," and made his exit. As soon as the Knave of Hearts was gone, her sweetheart lifted the lid off of Alice's teapot.
"You're safe now," he said. The way he said it sounded like a conversation between lovers. "The Bloodhound will lead them away," he said reassuringly.
"I wish I could help you," Alice said, completely transfixed, "but I'm not who you think I am."
He picked her up gently. "You'll speak to Absolem. He'll know who you are."
"But can he tell me how to get home?" Alice didn't want to go home. She could spend the rest of her life with this man for all she cared. She was starting to feel like she loved him. She didn't want to leave him, not now.
"He's wise," he said. "He's absolute. He's Absolem," he finished, as if this settled it. He set her down on the table. Alice's heart ached.
"Do you have any of that cake that made me grow before?" she asked, trying to sound strong, when inside, she was anything but.
"Do you mean upelkuchen? Do we have any, Thackery?"
Alice assumed that Thackery was the Hare, as at that moment the Hare shook his head. "Sorry, no upelkucken," he said.
Her sweetheart nodded and took off his hat. "Your carriage, mademoiselle." He sounded sweeter, gentler somehow. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. He also sounded somewhat romantic, the way he referred to her as 'mademoiselle'. I must be going mad, she decided.
"You mean the hat?" she asked.
"Anyone can travel by horse or rail, but only the best people travel by Hat."
She had no idea what this was supposed to mean.
However, she stepped onto the hat and sat down on the crown. He smiled and put his hat back on. He started to stand when an idea came to mind. "By the way, Thackery, how is a raven like a writing desk?"
"If you don't know I'm not telling," the Hare replied. Alice was somewhat disappointed. She, too, wanted to know how a raven was like a writing desk. She couldn't possibly fathom it. "Ta-ta, Alice," the Hare said, saying his good-bye to her. Her sweetheart started to walk, with her still sitting on his hat. They were alone.
However, the small mouse from earlier started to follow along. "I can't wait to see what Absolem does when he finds out she's pretending to be the Alice," she said excitedly.
"Sorry, Mallymkun," he said. Alice was immediately filled with glee at this. They would be alone after all. "Just us this time. You know how Absolem can get."
The mouse frowned, jealousy in her eyes. "Wait!" the Hare called. "You haven't had your tea!" And at that, he plucked the teapot off the table and sent it hurtling toward them. Suddenly her sweetheart ducked as the teapot narrowly missed colliding with his hat.
"…more than just three words…"
The Red Queen called forth the Jabberwocky. The Jabberwocky's vast wingspan darkened the clearing. It swung its reptilian head, whipped its pronged tail, extending one deadly claw. Alice was immediately terrified. The creature was so large she was considering just pulling out of the match. Taking in the daunting size of the creature, Alice could barely contain her fear. He took her hand.
"Listen to my voice," he said.
"But this is impossible," she said, fear striking the core of her being.
"Only if you believe it is."
Suddenly finding a bit of strength, she said, "Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
He, however, did not seem to understand the way she had hoped for. "An excellent practice, but just at the moment, you should focus on the Jabberwocky." She smiled.
"Where's your champion, little sister?" the Red Queen barked.
"Here," Alice said, stepping into the clearing, finding her strength. Just keep your mind on him, she thought. Just keep your mind on him…
She looked up at the huge, terrifying creature. The Jabberwocky roared. Alice whispered to herself, her voice trembling. "Six impossible things," she said. "Count them, Alice! One. There's a potion that can make you shrink," she said, suddenly thinking of six impossible things to believe in. "Two. And a cake that can make you grow." She drew the Vorpal Sword. The Jabberwocky lowered its huge head and hissed. He striked out suddenly with his long spiked tongue. Alice lifted the Sword to defend herself and the Sword sliced off the Jabberwocky's tongue. It fell to the ground wriggling in the dirt. The Jabberwocky thrashed his head, but he could only make a burbling sound.
"Three. Animals can talk," Alice said, continuing her list of impossible things.
As the Jabberwocky drove its spike tail down to stab her, she barely managed to roll out of its way in time. When she spoke next, her voice was faltering.
"Four. Four, Alice!" she snapped. She jumped to her feet. "Cats can disappear."
At that moment, her sweetheart shouted, "Zounder!" She ducked in time to avoid the creature's snapping jaws. Immediately she continued on her list.
"Five. There is a place called Wonderland." The Jabberwocky swiped at her with his long curved claws.
"Stang!" her sweetheart called out again. She did not understand this language one bit, but she leaned right to avoid the claws of the Jabberwocky.
"Six," she said. She stood still for a moment, then slowly lifted her head to face her nemesis. All fear is gone. There was nothing but relentless intent and bloodlust in her eye. "And I can slay the Jabberwocky!" She swung the Sword and attacked with fury. The Jabberwocky was surprised by her fierceness. That was when they finally officially started the battle. Her sweetheart gave her the occasional warning.
"Ezel!" he called out. "Sloth now!"
"What?" she called back, as claws scrape the back of her armor.
"I said…sloth," he repeated.
Alice backed up toward him, fending off the Jabberwocky. "I can manage. Thank you."
The Red Queen saw them talking and shouted, "He's interfering! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"
Alice leapt up onto the Jabberwocky, pulling herself up his scales as he twisted and snapped, trying to shake her off. The Vorpal Sword practically pulled itself out of her hand in its relentless pursuit of the creature's head. Alice makes her way to the Jabberwocky's neck where she clings and tries to slash its neck with the sword. She clings desperately as the Jabberwocky's thrashed its head. Alice slashed with the Sword. And Alice propelled herself into the air.
"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" Alice shouted.
With one powerful thrust, she cut off the Jabberwocky's head. Both Alice and the head fell at once, the Jabberwocky's jaws still snapping at her in its death throes.
Alice hit the ground hard. The Jabberwocky's head rolled a few feet away. Silence descended in the clearing. Alice lay on the ground, breathing heavily. Finally, she stood. The Queen stares at the Jabberwocky's head, then up to Alice with a furious glare.
"Kill her!" she shouted.
The nearest Red Knight threw down his weapon. "We follow you no more…bloody big head," he said to her command.
"How dare you!" she snapped, then pointed at the Knight. "Off with his head!"
But no one is listening. The others threw their weapons down. Suddenly, the crown lifted off the Red Queen's head. She snatched for it as it floated over to the White Queen where it gently lowered to her head. The Chesire Cat materialized next to her.
"…three words…"
Alice paid no attention after the Cat appeared. She was exhausted from defeating the Jabberwocky. Everyone else looked upon her as a hero.
"Oh, Frabjous Day!" her sweetheart called out. "Callou! Callay!" And with that, he broke into an enthusiastic dance of unbridled joy.
"What's he doing?" Alice asked the Chesire Cat.
"Futterwacken," was the response.
As he ended his dance, Alice smiled and walked over. "Tell me…how is a raven like a writing desk?"
"Haven't the foggiest," he said happily, "but love, I've come to realize, is more than just three words muttered before bedtime."
Alice understood immediately what he was trying to say. She didn't care if anyone was watching. Alice stood on tiptoe—even at her full height she didn't quite measure up to him—and kissed the Hatter.
FAQ - I've had a few friends of mine read this before I posted to FF, so these are questions they asked.
Q: Why didn't you call the Hatter, "Hatter"?
A: That was the point of the story was to keep the reader guessing who Alice was so in love with. However, it should have been obvious to those who have seen the movie, or even to those who haven't when it said that Alice stepped onto the man's hat, or during the tea scene and the only person missing was the Hatter.
Q: Why'd you skip parts of the movie?
A: Do you know how long that would have taken? My original plan was to have every Alice/Hatter scene in the movie but of course that would be too long.
Q: How did you memorize so much of the movie? And why were parts changed?
A: I didn't memorize the movie, and no, I didn't pirate it. I found the first draft of the script online and downloaded it. It did have pretty much the same material as the movie, but some parts were added, some were taken out, and some of the dialogue and the scenes were a bit off.
Any other question just review! :D
FIN