Author's Note #1: This is a modified version of the song Another Brick In The Wall (Part II) by Pink Floyd. You know, the one that goes 'We don't need no education …' Yes, of course you know it. Perhaps you could listen to it to 'get in the mood' for what you are about to read.
But whatever. Modified song. I like to call it a mod-song. It expresses my feelings towards the media coverage and extreme fan base of Robert Pattinson, or R-Pattz, as he is fondly known, who as we all know plays Edward Cullen in the Twilight Saga. But was clearly better as Dig-Dig in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Especially because his face got touched by Ralph Fiennes' foot.
Don't get your hopes up.
Hey, Fangirls, Leave R-Pattz Alone
He don't need no teenage girlfriend,
He don't need no stalker vids,
No vamp get-up will win his heart now,
Tween girls, leave poor Ced/Ed alone!
Hey! Fangirls! Leave R-Pattz alone!
All in all he's just a vamp who is good at baseball,
All in all his complexion is much like a mothball.
He don't need your topless photos,
He don't need your fan websites,
No way you're ever gonna touch old Patty,
America, leave Diggory alone!
Hey! Fangirls! Leave R-Pattz alone!
All in all he lives in Forks which has a high rainfall,
All in all his vamps can cook some mean meatballs.
Author's Note #2: I told you not to get your hopes up. In my defence, it was a difficult song to work with. Because it has, erm … a chorus. And not much else.
Also, when I refer to vampires making meatballs, I'm thinking of that FAIL of a scene in Twilight where the Cullens cook Italian food for Bella but she's already eaten and then comes that scene soon after where Robert Pattinson utters the words 'spider' and 'monkey' in the same sentence and the whole audience groans at 'teh skriptwritterz' for creating such a lame film.
Please review. Cheers man.