A/N:
So, this is my very first piece of fanfiction. As in ever. And I had a lot of doubts whether or not to even write it, but ideas, plots, and dialogues just kept popping up in my mind all the time. Finally, I accepted that I had lost the battle and wouldn't be able to let this go unless I wrote it. So here we are.
Please, consider the fact that English is not my first language and this story is not beta-read. I apologize for all further mistakes (because there most likely will be some) - I will do my best to avoid them and/or edit them out when I stumble upon them.
With that said; I really hope, you'll enjoy going on this ride with me. I know, I will. Happy reading.
I just want to state right here from the beginning that I love Alexander Lightwood. Have so for quite some time now. With all my heart and soul - Whatever that's worth for a Downworlder.
But despite that, I was never naive enough to believe that we would have all eternity together. Mortal/immortal-relationships normally don't work that way. I know that. After several hundred of years of living, believe me, I know that. But then again... There was never anything normal about me and Alexander.
No, I'm not just talking about the fact, that he was a Shadowhunter, and I a warlock, and that for itself was enough to place us in two completely different places. Let's not forget that when I first met Alec, he was completely in love with his parabatai-brother, and every single person around him knew it. Except for him of course.
If there is anything I've come to learn about Alec, it's that for a very sensitive guy, he was never really good with feelings. You all remember how long it took me to finally get him to go out with me, right? I mean, Jesus, he was so close to getting himself married to Lydia before he finally accepted who he was.
But that's Alec in a nutshell. He was always the more rational, logical one of us, and don't get me wrong, sometimes that was a good thing. He kept me grounded, whenever I needed it, which - let's be honest here - was quite so often.
But we were always very different. Sometimes that was a good thing as well. At other times...not so much.
I will never forget our first official date - where I told him, how many people I'd been with. And he told me how many people he hadn't been with. I remember thinking "This is when you're gonna lose him, Magnus." But as so many other times Alexander Lightwood had a way of surprising me when I least expected it.
But that wasn't the only time I've thought I was losing him. For a long time, it seemed like every single cell in the universe were against me and Alec figuring things out together. Things got in the way of us. A lot.
Like that time when Jace was with Valentine, and Alec almost died trying to find him. Or when Alec was possessed by a demon and accidentally killed Jocelyn. And it almost killed him. Or when he got me DNA-tested for a Shadowhunter-kill by orders from The Clave (don't even get me started). And do everyone remember when Valentine broke into the institute to activate the Soulsword and created a complete Downworld-massacre?
At least there came something good out of that one. Something very good. Like Alec telling me he loved me for the very first time.
Of course, this was just to mention a few things that have gotten in the way of us over the time. And it's all history now. Valentine got locked up. After a while with The Clave, they sentenced him to death. The Mortal Cup found its rightful place again thanks to Jace, Clary, Alec, Simon, and Isabelle. And myself of course. I honestly don't know what they would have done without me at times. And for a while things were good. Quieter. As quiet as it can be in the Shadow World. There were still demons to kill for Alec. Still an institute he had to run. The Clave was still on his every move. And we still lived in completely different worlds.
But I never thought that I would lose him the way it actually ended up happening. But who am I to predict the future anyway?
Sometimes I think, that I should just be grateful and happy for the time I got with him. I mean, when you think about it, it is quite amazing that we lasted so long giving that all odds were against us at all times.
But then there are those nights... Those nights where I lay awake in my bed and think, that if it were ever possible to die of a heartbreak - Well. Then even I would be gone by now.