A Necessary Risk 8-30-2017
Bellamy made his way through the main hall of the Ark, various delinquents mulling about as they all slowly recover from the festivities of the previous evening. He rubbed the tense muscles of his neck gently, his hair flying in all directions, and his clothes rumpled.
"Looks like someone had a fun night last night," Jasper commented wryly as he passed the dark headed man.
Bellamy's head was still pounding slightly from the after effects of that tea plus all of the moonshine he had consumed.
"If by fun you mean having a pounding headache then yes, I had a fantastic time last night." Bellamy replied sarcastically, a small smirk toying at his mouth.
Jasper cocked his head to the side. "But I thought…" He spun to glance behind his, his eyes searching the hall. "You and Bree…?"
Bellamy's eyes widened at Jasper's words and he sputtered. "No, that definitely did not happen last night. I went back to my room and locked the door to make sure it didn't."
Jasper pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Alrighty then, your choice. I'm sure your night would have been even better had you left it unlocked." He winked suggestively.
Bellamy snorted and shook his head before turning to walk towards the Rover.
Monty looked up from his seat beside the radio, a serious expression on his face.
Bellamy squinted. "Monty, what's up?"
Monty sighed, trying to gauge the older man's reaction to what he was about to tell him. "Something happened last night."
Bellamy raised his eyebrows, urging Monty to continue.
Monty sighed before saying in a rush. "Something happened to Clarke."
Bellamy felt the air freeze in his lungs and his pulse skyrocket. He blinked once, and Monty could see the panic rising in his eyes.
"What happened?" Bellamy asked, urgency taking note in his voice.
Monty blinked as he spoke, afraid of making eye contact with Bellamy. "She injected herself with the Nightblood solution."
Bellamy felt his blood run cold because he knew that Clarke injecting herself meant that she became the test subject. She would be the one whose life would be on the line. She was the one who had a high probability of not surviving the test chamber. She was the one sacrificing herself for their people's survival—again.
Bellamy slammed his eyes shut and ran a hand over his face.
Monty could see the pain and the loss in Bellamy's face.
"Why am I hearing about this now? Why wasn't I told last night?" Irritation crept into Bellamy's voice as simmering anger filled his eyes.
"Abby radioed thirty minutes ago. She tried transmitting last night, but it wouldn't go through for some reason," Monty took a breath before adding, "She said that Clarke made it."
Bellamy's eyes shot up at those words, and Monty had never seen so much relief and torment gathered in one place before.
Bellamy swallowed thickly. "Get Harper. We're leaving."
Ten minutes later, the Rover was packed and the trio made their way towards the sea. As Bellamy drove, Monty could feel the worry emanating from Bellamy in scalding waves as he sat in the back of the rover. He and Harper shared a concerned glance before Harper cleared her throat quietly.
"She's going to be okay, Bellamy," Harper said softly. "If there's one thing we know about Clarke it's that she's strong. I don't think she's made it this far to be taken out by radiation. She's survived worse."
Bellamy's jaw clenched at Harper's words. He knew she was right. He knew Clarke was strong, ever since she did something he couldn't when she killed Atom. She had a strength that Bellamy admired, one that he even attempted to emulate himself.
"I know," Bellamy replied quietly. "She's strong, but she's not invincible. That's what worries me."
Harper nodded, silently understanding. She knew that Bellamy and Clarke had a deep connection. How could they not, what with everything they had gone through and the decisions they had made together. She respected Clarke as her leader and cared for her as a true friend. However, she felt that Bellamy's concern ran deeper than that of a partner or friend. She stared out the passenger window as her mind wandered, silently praying that Clarke would indeed make a full recovery and soon; the Death Wave was encroaching quickly.
Clarke opened her eyes blearily, her vision blurry as she looked around the room slowly. She could faintly hear voices, but couldn't decipher their words. She saw the unclear outline of someone who long brown hair.
"Mom?" Clarke rasped, her throat sore from the radiation.
Abby flew to Clarke's side, smoothing her blonde curls away from her face.
"Clarke," Abby breathed, relief flooding her body as tears clouded her eyes. "I was so worried about you, honey."
Clarke blinked heavily, her eyes finally focusing on her mother's features. "I've had worse."
Abby shook her head softly, amazed at the strength her daughter always exuded. No matter what was thrown her way, Clarke always found a way to overcome every obstacle—not matter the cost.
"I radioed the Ark. I had to tell them what happened." Abby said quietly, and Clarke closed her eyes, sighing.
"He's going to kill me." Clarke whispered, her throat scratching painfully. "I need water, Mom."
"Of course, sweetheart." Abby rose before disappearing from the room.
Once she was gone, Clarke was able to focus on the person her mother had been talking to. Roan leaned against the wall, his eyes watching Clarke carefully.
"Thank you." Clarke murmured.
Roan dipped his head. "You don't need to thank me, Clarke. We all knew it had to be tested, I just made sure your mother didn't inhibit it from happening."
"You tied her to the railing," Clarke responded before shuddering. "I can still hear her screams."
Roan pushed himself from the wall. "It was a necessary risk, and now we know that it was worth it. You're still here, and despite what your mother thinks about your decision, you're healing. That's what matters."
"Thank you again, Roan." Clarke said softly. Roan nodded in recognition before leaving the room.
Clarke closed her eyes, exhaustion weighting her body down. She could feel the lesions littering her body, along with the muscle aches throughout her arms and legs. Clarke rolled onto her side, and gasped as pain shot straight through her spine. She fell back softly, wincing.
"That's what happens when you make stupid decisions." A deep voice commented snidely from the doorway. Clarke sighed softly, not wanting to face him already.
Clarke opened her eyes, turning her head slightly to see Bellamy, his arms crossed and his hips resting on the doorway. Clarke opened her mouth to speak, but Bellamy shook his head forcefully before she could say a word.
"You don't get to talk right now, Clarke." Bellamy snapped, his dark eyes a mixture of worry and anger.
Clarke simply stared as he crossed the room before stopping short several paces.
Bellamy shook his head softly, at a loss.
"Did you even think about me?" His voice was alarmingly soft.
Clarke felt her throat constrict at his tone, and she swallowed thickly before looking away. She understood why he was upset, she would have been equally upset with him had Bellamy pulled a stunt like this. But she also would have understood his thinking. After all, they were leaders. They made the tough calls, they made the sacrifices for their people. That was just who they were, always had been.
She felt more than heard Bellamy take a deep breath, the tension in the room heavy.
"Did you?" Anger filled his voice and it grew in volume. "You could have gotten yourself killed, Clarke. Did you stop to think about what it would do to me if something worse had happened to you?"
Clarke forced her gaze to meet his, and she grimaced at the pain she saw etched in his eyes. They were no longer angry, but rather lost, fearful as tears pooled there. Clarke felt her eyes growing misty before sniffing loudly and taking a deep breath. The last time she had seen Bellamy like this had been at Arkadia when she had told him that she needed him, needed his help in making peace. Her stomach clenched at the memory of that day, of the disappointment she had seen written in Bellamy's face.
"It was a necessary risk." She murmured, Roan's words feeling both right and robotic on her lips.
"The risk might have been necessary, but you being the one taking it was not," Bellamy insisted, his voice wavering dangerously. "You're lucky to be alive. Abby is lucky that she wasn't the one letting you go through with this." He continued darkly.
"Bellamy," Clarke searched his face, willing him to understand. "I had to do this. Our survival was on the line, and now we know that Nightblood works."
Bellamy closed his eyes, willing himself not to release the tears threatening to spill over. He sighed, blinking rapidly before moving to sit on the couch beside her.
"I get it, Clarke," He said softly as he rested his elbows on his knees. "I know why you did it. I know that you'll do whatever it takes to save our people; we both would," He shakes his head softly. "But sometimes I want to shake that notion out of your head."
Clarke gives him a sad smile before attempting to sit up. She struggles, and Bellamy gently helps pull her up. She places a blistered hand on his arm gently.
"I was scared, Clarke," Bellamy whispered. Clarke blinked at his words. "I haven't been scared like that since you were taken by Roan."
Clarke saw his jaw clench tightly as he spoke.
Before she could speak, he continued, "I can't do this without you, Princess."
His words were spoken so softly and with so much trepidation that Clarke thought he would crumble there beside her.
Clarke closed her eyes, pressing her forehead to his shoulder. "You don't have to."
Bellamy stifles a laugh, his shoulders shaking softly. "You know, you thanked me for keeping you alive once. I still stand by what I said."
Clarke lifted her head, brow furrowed in question. "What you said?"
"'You don't make it easy.'" Bellamy recalled that day outside the tower in Polis.
Clarke chuckling softly, looking at her hand on his arm. "No, I don't. But our job isn't meant to be easy."
"I know that, Clarke. But it'd be even more hard if you weren't here." Bellamy replied softly.
Clarke nodded in understanding, not trusting her voice in that moment. She blinked slowly before leaning forward, her chapped lips pressing a soft kiss to Bellamy's cheek.
"I'm sorry." She whispered against his skin. Before she could react, Bellamy turned and enveloped her small feeble frame in his strong arms, pulling her to him. Clarke nestled into the crook of his neck, closing her eyes in the comfort that he provided. The warmth of his skin seeped into her veins, and his heartbeat thundered against her chest.
Bellamy curled his arms around Clarke, the familiar scent of her hair calming him. He turned his face to gently plant a kiss on her head before gently lifting her even closer to his chest. He felt Clarke's hand come to rest on the nape of his neck, toying with the curls resting there. Bellamy felt his eyes fall closed in the pure solace that Clarke Griffin provided him.
He had meant every word. There was no way he could be a leader on his own; history had proven that. Nor could he lose Clarke. She was his strength, his logic, and his partner in their curse of a life on Earth.
"If you ever try something like this again," Bellamy murmured into her hair. "I will personally lock you up on the claim that you're a danger to yourself."
Clarke laughed, her body shaking happily in his embrace. "Understood."
Bellamy smiled softly before another thought entered his mind, darkening his tone. "Roan will be getting a piece of my mind, too."
Clarke pulled back enough to look into his face. "Bellamy, this was my decision. Roan just helped me execute it. You've already yelled at me. Plus, I'm pretty sure Roan could kill you before you got two words out, and I need you alive." Clarke's tone turned serious, her blue eyes searching his dark ones.
Suddenly, Clarke was very aware of the lack of space that currently existed between them. They had embraced before, but they had never stayed in each other's arms for an extended amount of time. Clarke saw a flicker of an emotion she immediately recognized—desire. Bellamy's eyes softened as he tucked a stray curl behind her ear gently. His eyes never left hers as he slowly pushed his head forward to gently press his lips to hers.
Clarke's eyes closed reflexively as she sighed into the kiss. Bellamy moved his mouth with hers, gently moaning into her mouth. Clarke deepened the kiss, allowing him better access before knotting her fingers in his dark curls. Bellamy moved one hand to cup her face gently while the other remained firmly wrapped around her waist. Finally, the couple broke apart when the need for oxygen became too great.
Clarke rested her head against his, smiling.
"Understood, Princess." He whispered, sighing in contentment.
Clarke smiled brightly despite the rapidly healing wounds that dotted her face, and Bellamy returned the smile, contentment shining in his dark eyes. The air surrounding them was warm, filled with breathless pants that mingled in the inches between their faces. The Death Wave was coming, but the world could give a moment of tranquil bliss to two people afflicted with life-altering decisions and the burden of humanity's safety. Fortunately, neither of them would ever have to bear those crosses alone.