Two weeks till school's over so please bare with me. I promise to update all my crap once I'm finished.
I DARE YOU TO READ THIS WHILE LISTENING TO 'BOSTON' BY AYGUSTANA.
Life passes. Time flows. And everything's okay.
But for Kaoru it's different.
The numbers 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 are all printed around his left wrist.
They are all printed along his wrist horizontally so that they all connect together on his wrist like that of a bracelet.
Except this isn't a bracelet. It's a scar that can't be erased no matter how hard he were to try. It's permanent.
Almost like his own skin.
Except, it's more of a remote.
It puts him in control.
He can stop time.
Reverse it.
Forward it.
But just like everything else in the world, it's powers are limited.
He wasn't born like this.
It was an accident.
~~oO0Oo~~
About five years ago, he was standing up on the roof of an abandoned building next to his school. His closest friends and siblings would eat lunch there as their own little tradition. He was always the first one there since he was the youngest of the group and got to leave for lunch thirty minutes before the other grades. One day, he was standing by the roof's ledge waiting for his friends and siblings alone. He relaxed and stared down at the river that passed along the side of the small building. Before he knew what was happening, someone had come up behind him. With a forceful shove, he was pushed straight into the river from the six story building.
It was as if, his entire body shattered from the impact on the water. He sank further and further down as the light on the water's surface dulled over. Water penetrated his lungs and he couldn't receive any oxygen. He had lost consciousness almost immediately. When he regained consciousness, his eyes slowly opened to look at his surroundings. Somehow he was on land right next to the river, yet there was no one around to be seen. His nerves which had been hibernating for what felt like a long time had finally recovered from their dormant stage. A hurricane of pain shot through his body. He opened his mouth to call out to somebody but his voice felt like it too had been shattered. Not a single sound came out. He passed out for the second time just as he heard the screaming of his siblings as their footsteps vibrated the ground into his ears.
Later, he had woken up in a hospital. The doctors were perplexed. When his family had brought him in, his entire chest cavity was destroyed. No rib was left unbroken and his heart had completely stopped beating. At 11:45, the doctors prescribed him as dead but by midnight, his heart had restarted. In fact when the doctors reached his room and checked him over, they were perplexed. There were no injuries. All his previously broken bones were fine, not even the slightest crack. No more internal bleeding or bruises or punctured organs. Not even an ounce of pain either. The doctors exclaimed it as a miracle.
When he rolled up his sleeve as he left the hospital, along his wrist blazed a small red horizontal 10.
~~oO0Oo~~
Months afterward, he was back in school as if nothing had ever happened.
"Hey, WATCH OUT!" Someone screamed out amongst the hallway.
A knife sped towards him. He saw it coming but he wasn't fast enough to get out of its range.
STOP!
Before the blade came any closer, it froze.
Everything froze.
Everyone was motionless.
As if playing a perfect game of red light green light, except without any green.
Kaoru turned his head and glanced around, only he was in motion.
He grabbed the blade of the knife.
As he did so, everything went back into motion.
The knife, firmly in his hand, was no longer a danger.
Everyone, now mobile, stared at him with disbelief.
He dropped the blade and scraped at his wrist.
Slowly, a deathly color spread across his wrist as a small 9 melted it's way right next to the 10.
~~oO0Oo~~
Kaoru had used his powers very few times except for when his family was in trouble or something along those lines.
He refused to waste his precious gifts and didn't use them for years.
He was scared to death about what would happen if he reached zero.
Somehow he knew.
If he reached zero, he would die.
He refused to let that happen and promised to never use his powers any more.
But that was much before he met him.
~~oO0Oo~~
Kaoru had been invited on a trip to stay with his half-brother in Europe for the entire three months of summer vacation before going back to school for his junior year. For a bit of fresh air after the long flight from Minnesota to England, he stepped outside and walked to a park not too far away from his half-brother's house. He walked along until the sun began to go down. When he'd decided that he'd been out long enough, he headed back towards the house. As he walked along, there he was. A rather small boy slept soundly on one of the benches. Kaoru looked around. It was almost dark out and was probably going to rain; he should probably wake the other teen on the bench. It was a pretty big park so at night, finding your way out would probably be a nightmare. Quietly he walked over to the sleeping boy. He had brilliantly white hair. Snowy and soft looking.
Childishly, he poked the younger teen in the face between the eyes. Surprisingly, that immediately snapped the boy awake. His eyes bloomed open with a large burst of violet and blue. The waking boy was also pleasantly surprised by sweet russet red-brown eyes to calm him from his random awakening.
"Wake up."
"…Fine…" The sleepy teen responded. He sat up and stretched. Unlike himself, he actually didn't feel threatened by the random stranger waking him up.
"It's getting dark out and it's about to rain. I think you might want to start heading back to your home." Kaoru advised.
As if on cue, rain began to pour out of the heavens. The smaller teen began shivering. Kaoru pulled out a large red umbrella with paw prints on it and held it over both of the two.
"Thanks, by the way I'm Emil." Emil mumbled as his face reddened.
"No problem, I'm Kaoru." As he replied, he even smiled. He wanted this boy. He wanted to be near him, to hear his voice, own his every affection, and listen to everything he had to say. His brain knew it way before his consciousness or heart could catch up.
After that, time seemed to begin to speed up. That night Kaoru had walked Emil home. The whole time, they talked and joked throughout the entire storm. After that, they began to hang out. It grew to many things. In fact, they even started dating.
It was easy for both of them to fall in love. Kaoru knew he loved Emil. The violet eyed boy lingered in all of his thoughts and he was sure it was the same for the other teen. Emil was the only one who could get genuine smiles out of him and he was the only one who could bring Emil out of his shell.
Before it became apparent to either of them, they had already been together for all three months. Now he was to move back to America. But he wouldn't be alone this time. Emil was planning to come down to America for all the amazing schools that the country offered.
It's been four years since they moved to America together.
They moved into a small apartment and struggled to keep everything together, but they were happy nonetheless.
Everything was perfect.
~~oO0Oo~~
Kaoru sighed in content as his boyfriend snuggled into his side. They were both in a slight blissful trance from their previous activities. He rolled over to plant a light kiss on Emil's forehead. The latter curled into him tighter and made a sound similar to a purr.
"I love you, so much." Kaoru whispered into his ear.
"You do?"
"Of course, I'd give you world and even more."
"Would you… be willing to spend the rest of your life with me?" Emil blushed and hid his face in his hands when the question slipped out.
"Every second of it." Kaoru replied while bringing his hands away from his face. Emil looked halfway between tears and excitement. The European wrapped his arms around his lover's neck. Kaoru smiled gently before yawning.
"I love you. Goodnight."
"I love you too. Goodnight."
~~oO0Oo~~
It was another accident.
Quicker than anyone would have ever thought.
At Emil's university, there was a break in with a gun.
And everyone had to evacuate.
But it was too late for his lover.
His death was quick and painless.
And Kaoru never got to say goodbye.
Emil's body was in the last of his family's hands now since they were closest to him or at least on paper. The only immediate family the boy had left was his older brother.
Lukas hated Kaoru.
For taking his only family member left to a different country.
One that wasn't safe.
One that would ultimately be his death.
Lukas had no family left and he would give anything for the source of his suffering to feel his pain.
The decision was easy.
Kaoru was banned from the funeral which was hosted two days after the shooting.
Emil was buried in Iceland, his home country.
The boy spoke fondly about the place so Kaoru guessed he would have been pleased with being buried there.
The two were barely making ends meet while balancing college funds so he couldn't afford to visit the grave.
He never saw him again.
~~oO0Oo~~
Kaoru tried to keep everything together, he really did.
But everything fell apart.
It'd been two months since Emil died.
Kaoru fell far behind in rent to where he could be evicted any day now.
He minimized buying groceries to once a month.
He was laid off last week from his part time job since the economy dropped and he couldn't pick up anything.
He had to drop out of his first choice of college since he needed to go job searching.
He'd completely stopped eating yesterday and hasn't had anything since.
Mirrors scared him to great heights.
All he could see in them was a deadly pale thing that looks as if it hadn't eaten a full meal for a long time. He couldn't find himself in there anymore.
Recently his wrists had been burning. He knew what they were trying to tell him.
He was dying.
He'd received his gifts as compensation that keep him alive so of course they'd make themselves noticed when he was in this kind of situation.
Should he go back in time? When he'd told Emil about his power, Emil made him promise not to endanger himself with his power.
He couldn't break promises after his lover was gone.
But then again, his lover made a promise to live their lives together and where is he now?
Twenty feet in the ground in a country that he would never get access to.
Kaoru sighed.
"Would you… be willing to spend the rest of your life with me?"
Yes. Yes he was.
He'd protect him this time.
And everything will be okay.
REWIND.
~~oO0Oo~~
The world twisted as he was brought back to the past 4 years before.
Kaoru's eyes widened as he felt a burning sensation in his right wrist.
4.
He jerked his head up to see where he was. There he was, standing in the park in England. He bolted over to a familiar bench. His breath caught in his throat. Anything he would have said was immediately forgotten. There was Emil, sleeping on the bench the exact same way he had when they first met.
"Emil!" He called before poking his love in the face.
The boy sat up a tiny bit startled.
"What's going on?" The Icelander stared into his eyes. "Do I know you?"
Kaoru's heart shattered on to the floor. He didn't remember him. 'No, this is fine.' He thought. 'If he could love me then, he should still love me now.' He calmed himself. He could start over fresh now. This time, he'd keep his love from harm's way.
They fell in love again, even faster this time. They had fallen in love by the first month. They did exactly as they did before. They moved after three months to America, got in the college they both wanted, got a small apartment; they promised life everlasting to each other and most importantly they loved each other the same. Four years after restarting, on the day of the shooting, Kaoru made sure to keep Emil from going to college on that day. At the end of the day he almost felt like crying of happiness. He'd saved him. Now his lover was back in his proper place, nuzzled against his side in bed.
Another accident struck.
Emil was hit by a semi driver.
His lungs were damaged and he painfully suffocated before the paramedics could arrive.
Kaoru didn't know that was coming.
He knew what was going to become of him if he didn't rewind then. And he had 4 more chances.
This time he knew what else to look for.
He'd save him both times next time.
He was sure, everything will be okay.
REWIND.
~~oO0Oo~~
He was back to the Park with Emil asleep on the bench.
3.
Was scrawled around his wrist.
His chances were slowly dwindling.
But this time things would work, he was sure.
They fell in love after just a few days.
Just as every time before, they moved to America after only one month and thrived for four years.
But this time he kept Emil from going to college on the shooting day and inside from the street.
Another accident.
At work, the building Emil works at had a wire problem and this time a fire raged.
Emil survived.
But he gained severe third degree burns.
He was treated at a burn hospital for an entire week.
But the pain of the therapy was too much.
He struggled to death.
Kaoru had 3 more chances to do things right.
Everything will be okay, it has to be.
REWIND.
~~oO0Oo~~
2.
Kaoru woke up where he always was. Standing near his soon-to-be-lover's bench.
This time he was lost.
He'd gone through this three times for 12 years all together.
He could try everything in his power to keep the boy safe but it wasn't working.
This time, he knew what had to be done.
To wake him up, he gently pressed his lips to his lovers.
Oh how much he'd missed those lips.
The ones that would tell him everything would be okay.
The boy woke up surprised.
He fell in love after at first sight.
Kaoru intertwined his fingers with Emil.
PAUSE.
1.
His wrists burned intensely as a 1 blazed into place, completing both sets of numbers.
"W-what did you do?" Emil stared around at all the still people.
Kaoru smiled and gives his hands a squeeze.
There.
He'd won.
If time never moves, then he'd never lose him.
Now they could be together.
~~oO0Oo~~
Kaoru refused to unpause the world.
He could forever be with the one he loves.
But Emil objected.
He still fell in love but now it was strained.
He missed when time would pass.
When he could talk to other people.
"Please fix the world. I don't want this." Emil begged.
Kaoru was torn.
All he wanted was to live happily.
Even if it did resort to this.
Why couldn't he have that?
"All I want is to protect you. I can't live without you and when you die, I can't go on. I've watched you die too many times." Emil reached up and softly kisses him.
"If I die, then that's the way it must be. I don't want you to feel like you need to change that." Emil sighed before continuing "There's no reason to continue in a world if the world isn't continuing around you."
A voice ran through Kaoru's head.
He's right.
Why? Why must he always die though?
Because you're doing it to him. When you make time loops like this, his life time per loop gets shorter and every time the death is more and more painful.
Exactly, so if I pause the world he won't suffer some horrible death.
You're wrong.
Emil started up an awful wave of coughing and choking. After a few minutes, he began coughing up blood and his lungs burn.
"Kaoru, what's happening!?" He started choking and could barely breathe.
Kaoru ran over to the dying teen and cradled him in his arms.
"Emil… I don't know what to do." He whispered to his lover who is slowly getting paler and sicklier.
"You can always rewind time, right?" Emil's eyes widened in panic and winced in pain. "When we meet again, I'll fall in love with you again and we'll be happy again, right? I'll keep loving you over and over. As long as you can keep rewinding time… I'll never forget you and it'll be just me and you together again. Everything will be okay, right?" His grip tightened as his vision began to blur over.
Kaoru clenched his fists as his wrists burned.
The life began to trail out of the boy's eyes.
He nodded.
"Everything will be okay, I promise."
He couldn't bring himself to tell his lover.
Tell him that he can't keep rewinding time.
Tell him that they'll never meet again.
Kaoru stood up.
But that's okay if they never meet again.
He should've died when he fell off the building.
After all, his life was just another accident.
REWIND.
~~oO0Oo~~
Emil Steilsson lived a full and healthy life. He met some amazing people, saved the lives of many animals, and enjoyed so many things. Although he'd used to be rather reclusive, he opened up to the world the older he got. He found the beauty of life and traveled all around the world. When he retired, he'd gotten extremely close to his brother and they almost became inseparable.
After his vacation in England, he moved to the United States. He was accepted in his first choice of college and graduated at the top of his class. He jumped between careers before settling as a travelling ornithologist and veterinarian. The love of his life came around in his late twenties and he moved in with her while continuing to stretch his knowledge with his studies. They married at age 29 and had 5 children.
For many years, he'd always believed that there was someone missing in his life. He could almost recall a voice in his head of someone he'd never met before. One day in his late teens, Emil was sleeping in the park one day on a trip in England, sadly, no one woke him up before it started raining. There was a large red paw printed umbrella on the bench next to him but he never found who it belonged to. He talked to his future-wife about it when they were dating and she helped him ignore the feeling. In fact, he forgot about it.
He died at a pleasant old age of 83. At that time, he'd had 10 grandchildren with some great grandchildren on the way. He was buried in the heart of Iceland.
He never remembered the boy who gave his life to him.
When the boy was in middle school, he'd fallen off a roof and almost drowned in the lake. He'd survived the fall but died later in the hospital. He was just 14 years old.
Just as the boy had promised, everything turned out the way it was supposed to.
And everything was okay.
For those wondering why I mentioned the song earlier, I was inspired by "Boston" by Augustana to write this story and this is my little attempt at representing the feelings of it.
It broke my heart to write this story and I hope it's worth a review or two. I wrote this at 3:46 in the morning so if there are any mistakes, please notify me.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the story.