Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. The title is from Linkin Park's 'Minutes to Midnight'. I don't own anything.

A/N: This is the third instalment to 'Beyond Repair' and 'Attempting Repair' (God I hate that name). I tried to make it a standalone but if there's confusion please read the first two, but I shall warn you – any pain caused due to the suckiness of my fics is not my responsibility. Feel free to leave me a flame, I may or may not get back to you :P

A/N 2 (More serious one) – This is different from my usual style. It's very dialogue heavy and very… weird. Hope it's not a complete disaster.

The Little Things Give You Away

Posted on March 10, 2008

"You're sure?" Duo spoke into his cell phone as he sat in his car, looking out into the spiralling snow. He slapped his hand on the steering wheel in happiness when the answer came back affirmative. "Yes man, Quatre… I owe you. I really, really owe you." Quatre returned his sentiments and before he could end the call Duo said quickly, "I'm sorry, I know you wanted to see Heero but… I have to do this… you understand right?" Duo could hear the smile in Quatre's voice when he answered and he knew there were no hard feelings. Then Duo flipped his phone closed looking outside the windshield, through the snow at the shady motel, his violet eyes narrowed as he looked for the familiar head of chocolate brown hair and crystal blue eyes.

Heero had gone missing a year ago. Duo had gotten together all the ex-pilots to help out, to find Heero again because this was not over. He had to find Heero and talk. Just talk. As Quatre had said to him when he had informed him of Heero's disappearance, 'If you two had just sat down and talked instead of running off and avoiding each other, this wouldn't have happened.'

Really… they needed to talk. And he had missed him. Heero's bedroom remained locked and untouched through the year, no one had stepped in there. Caleb, his ex-boyfriend, had understood and backed off. He said that clearly Duo cared more about Heero than he did about his own boyfriend and maybe this just won't work out.

Duo had no idea what he had been going on about but he answered, 'Whatever man. See you around.'

The search for Heero had consumed him. If it hadn't been for the support of his friends he may have burned himself out but Wufei, Trowa and Quatre had been there to take the task of looking for Heero off him for a little bit while he ate, drank, showered and slept.

If only… if only Heero hadn't said those three little words to him nothing like this would have ever happened.

Duo shook his head as the familiar 'blame Heero' train of thought started. It wouldn't help, not now.

Heero had been elusive. He had not made any purchases on his debit account or even used his credit card. He had not gotten a job that took down his information. He had disappeared off the map. Now, finally, they had located him to this small motel across the country.

One small slip-up on Heero's part had allowed them to finally catch sight of him… literally. He had let his face get caught on a security camera at a bus station two states down. Quatre had an acquaintance working there as a security guard who had recognized Heero and called them immediately.

Next thing he knew the search had shifted from national to city wide. Huge improvement, in Duo's book, but the real break through had been when he had had the acquaintance trail Heero while Duo had flown across the country to get there. He had rented a car and gotten tipped that Heero was at this shitty excuse for a motel.

A whole year… a whole year of blaming himself, and blaming Heero, a whole year of looking at an empty room and seeing the ghosts of his best friend reading, sleeping, working.

If everything went well, he would see Heero today. What will he do when he first saw him? Maybe Heero would walk out and see Duo sitting in his car… how will he react? Will he smile and come to him or ignore him and run off?

Knowing Heero he'd probably run. He would take one look, his blue eyes would widen in surprise and he would turn and run, straight into the most packed place around and disappear in the crowd. Next he would try to get out of town. Of course, Duo won't let that happen. He will jump out of the car the minute Heero showed up and punch him so fucking hard that he'll wish he had never been born.

Seriously, what had the guy been thinking? Just getting up and disappearing? As though ignoring your problems will make them go away! Especially when your problem was one Duo Maxwell because Duo Maxwell did not go away when ignored. He came back with guns blazing.

And while Heero would be reeling from the punch Duo would swear at him. Tell him how much time he had put into finding him and just how much of an ass Heero had been. He will punch him several times more, then cuff him and gag him and then throw him into the trunk of the rental to haul all the way home.

Yes, that's what he'll do.

Duo watched, worrying his lower lip and playing with the end of his braid until the ends started to split. Just as he was on the verge of barging into every one of those rooms until he found Heero, he saw a door open across from him and a guy dart out. He was wearing a thin, long sleeve grey tee shirt and light blue jeans. Duo saw him curl up immediately in the chilly wind but started making his way resolutely along the string of rooms down the motel heading towards the diner attached to it.

Heero!

Before Duo could get out of the car and make good on all his promises another guy came out of the room, fully dressed for the weather and he started following Heero.

Heero was with another guy in there?! What the hell?

The other man, who looked to be a couple of years older than them caught up to Heero easily and grabbed his arm pulling him back and throwing him against the wall. From this distance Duo could see Heero's mouth moving showing that he was speaking but he couldn't read his lips. The guy manhandling Heero had his back to Duo so he couldn't see his face. Instead he let his eyes take in Heero. He had lost weight and he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked frail and tired but still wiry.

Right now though, the cold seemed to be getting to him as Duo watched his lips turning blue and his body shaking violently trying to warm up. When Duo saw how difficult it was getting for Heero to fight the guy who was now grabbing his shoulders and shaking him that he got out of the car and started making his way towards the two of them. Immediately the snow slapped him on the face, icy needles on his skin, and he burrowed deeper into his jacket as he approached them.

Heero's eyes darted up at him and he saw the flicker of recognition in them right before Duo grabbed the man who was holding Heero and ripped him off of him.

"Get your hands off of him asshole." Duo snarled as he shoved the man backwards. "You okay Heero?" He asked as he turned to look carefully at his friend's freezing form. Heero regarded him with a shiver and tightly pressed blue lips.

"Hey I was here first!" The guy grabbed the back of Duo's collar and pulled him away from Heero but didn't count on the fist that came flying out of nowhere. Duo turned and punched him hard in his stomach making him lose his breath and double over.

"You were saying?" Duo prompted smugly and the guy wheezed and then backed away from them. Turning back to Heero he started shrugging out of his jacket to put it on his half-frozen friend. "Let's get you inside, you're freezing…"

"Duo?" Heero asked, his eyes wide and disbelieving, before he hesitantly wrapped his arms around Duo's neck, hugging him hesitantly. Duo put his jacket against Heero's back and hugged him tightly to himself, wrapping him up in between his jacket and his chest. He breathed in his scent deeply, felt Heero's heart beating against his chest and he was suddenly struck by just how much he had missed his best friend.

"Let's go inside." He said again letting Heero go but tugging his jacket over Heero's shoulders fully before hurriedly making their way to the room Heero had just vacated. Duo was started to feel the chill seep into his back and making his muscles ache uncomfortably. As soon as the door closed behind them Duo breathed harshly on his hands trying to rub some feeling back into his frozen hands. Thank god the shitty motel had good heating. The room itself was pretty average with brown carpet and beige bed covers. The curtains were a deep red while the rest of the furniture was in varying tones of brown. Average… and somewhat muddy looking.

"What are you doing here?" Heero asked, his lips no longer blue and his cheeks flushing slightly in the heat of the room. Duo glanced around the room noting the single king sized bed and a jacket and shirt that lay discarded haphazardly.

"No. What are you doing here?" Duo shot that question back at him. "Who was that guy? Why were you letting him manhandle you like that? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Heero cringed at the assault of all the questions. "You won't understand." Heero said quietly as he sat down on the bed. He leaned forward and started taking his shoes off slowly, stalling.

"Make me." Duo challenged and hovered in front of Heero, making sure to stay in his line of sight when he looked up.

"You. Won't. Understand." Heero gritted out, more bite in his voice but he didn't elaborate any further.

"Of course I won't if you don't tell me anything! I'm not a fucking mind reader!" Duo said, his voice increasing in volume.

"Why are you even here?" Heero said finally getting his shoes off and he got up, padding across the room in his socked feet to go sit down in a chair on the farthest corner from him.

"I came for you. You're coming home with me." Duo toed off his own shoes and sat down on the bed, facing Heero.

Heero gave a small self deprecating laugh. "What for? So you can ignore me again and then yell at me?"

"I wasn't ignoring you!" Duo said agitatedly. "I didn't have anything to say to you – "

Heero interrupted him, "That never stopped you before. All the inane things you would talk about before…"

"Well I didn't have anything to say to you. That didn't mean I was ignoring you." Duo ran his fingers through his bangs in frustration. "I just… you… you weren't supposed to say that… ever."

"Ever?" Heero raised an eyebrow.

"Ever." Duo nodded. "Never ever. You don't tell your best friend that you love him, just like that."

"If not my best friend then who do I tell it to? Who do I talk to if not you?" Heero asked softly, tilting his head in question and Duo swallowed thickly.

A moment of silence followed before "How long?" Duo asked looking away. "How long had you…?"

"Since I first met you… maybe."

"At the docks?" Duo leaned forward, entwining his fingers in between his knees.

"Attraction then… but when love happened I don't know." Heero looked nervous now.

"Do you still-" Duo wasn't even able to finish asking his question before Heero answered with a resolute 'Yes'. Duo bent over and put his head in his hands, emotionally exhausted. "I want my best friend back. Just give him back."

Silence followed that request and Duo looked up to see Heero curling up in his jacket that suddenly looked so large on him.

"Who was that guy?" He asked instead and he wondered if he had imagined Heero paling at the question.

"Just a guy." Duo swore mentally at Heero's answer. Getting him to give a proper explanation was like pulling teeth.

"I'll need a bit more than that you know?" Duo glared at Heero as he rubbed his face with his hand tiredly.

"You don't need anything. He was just a guy, let him be."

"I can't let it be when the connections I'm making in my head are making me feel sick! Please just tell me there was no money involved." Duo pleaded and Heero's eyes widened.

He got up off the chair, suddenly furious. "What? You think that just because I couldn't have you I'd turn into a whore?" He spat, then as though remembering the jacket he was wearing he pulled it off and threw it forcefully towards Duo. "I can't even believe you'd ask me something like that!" The expression of anger was less then fulfilling when the jacket didn't reach Duo and instead fluttered to the ground in between them. The stretch of carpet between them suddenly felt like no man's land. Neither of them was going to approach the jacket and pick it up.

For a few moments there was no sound in the room except their harsh breathing, both angry and agitated. Then Duo said quietly, "Just tell me there was no –"

"There was no money. I don't sell myself." Heero interrupted him in a cold voice.

"Then that guy was…?" Duo prompted again and Heero glared at him. Duo kept watching Heero trying futilely to read his mind but he had his answer when Heero ground his teeth together and looked to the side, his cheek dusted lightly with pink with embarrassment.

Duo laughed a broken laugh. "Great, so you're not a whore but a slut instead. That's so much better."

"You don't get to say anything!" Heero almost roared, feeling something snap. "You don't get to say ANYTHING. I love you and you made me feel like I had betrayed you! You made me feel like I was worth nothing, that there was no way you could ever love me back like that! And when I got approached by other men and they wanted me I said yes. Because I can be a slut but the one thing I'm not going to be is YOU!"

"Don't you dare put this all on my head! You knew I was with someone then, what did you want me to do? Huh? Just roll over, call Caleb and say 'Sorry dude my best friend just confessed his feelings for me so we're done'? Is that what you wanted?" Then he added in a mocking voice, "Or maybe you wanted me to tear your clothes off you and 'make love' to you?"

"I don't know what I wanted but the least you could do was not to bring your boyfriend over and…" Heero blushed but continued after a pause, "I was in the next bedroom Duo! That was insensitive even for an asshole like you."

"That is my apartment as much as yours and I'll do whatever I damn well please!" Duo roared at him and then a brief moment of silence followed.

"It is only your apartment now. I moved out." Heero informed him. "You can sleep with as many guys as you want. It's not my problem."

Then he headed towards his discarded jacket lying on the ground and shrugged it on. Duo watched his movements curiously. "Well, you're moving back in. You're getting your job back and you're going to be my best friend again." He said, his tone of voice just short of ordering.

Heero didn't respond to his demands and instead pulled his shoes on and headed towards the door. "I'm leaving now. Don't look for me because I can't do what you're asking of me." He grasped the doorknob and twisted it open.

In a flash Duo was up and slamming the door closed before it had even opened properly with one arm. "You're not going anywhere. I spent an entire year looking for you and you think I'll let you go just like that? I'm here to take you home whether you want to or not."

"So you'll tie me up and haul me all the way back without my consent? That sounds like kidnapping." Heero said but he was starting to shift uneasily at his proximity to Duo. Pride demanded that he not step back, but he was nervous this close to him.

Duo opened his mouth and then closed it again. That was exactly what he'd had in mind but clearly it was not going to work. He looked to the side and then quickly back at Heero again, worried that he'll disappear the moment he took his eyes off him, but then he'd dart away when his eyes would make contact with Heero's. He opened and closed his mouth several times weighing options in his mind. Threatening wouldn't work and neither would cajoling. He was out of ideas.

"Come back with me. I'll do anything, just come back. Please." Begging was not his strongest suit and he didn't feel like much of a man when he resorted to it, but for Heero he was willing to be brought down a peg. Or two. Maybe even three.

"Duo… you can't just… I mean…" He looked frustrated and he had crossed his arms over his chest, a defensive posture. He took a deep shuddering breath and then looked Duo straight in his eyes. "No." He said, his voice strong and broke no arguments but it was his eyes that told Duo that this wasn't as much of a 'no' as it was a 'maybe but probably not'.

"I'll do anything Heero…anything." He said and the moment it was out of his mouth he regretted it. 'Anything' implied total control and that was a scary thought. And he wasn't sure he reallycould do 'anything'. Heero telling him to fuck him would be just that 'anything'.

Heero's eyes caught his and held on. He looked searchingly into Duo's violent eyes before sighing softly and stepping forward, leaning so that his head rested on Duo's shoulder and his hands wrapped loosely around Duo's waist.

"You confuse me." He mumbled against his shoulder. "But I can't. I'm sorry." Heero said, his voice tinged with regret and started pulling away. Duo's arms came around Heero's waist quickly and held him there. "Duo?" Heero whispered and he only had a moment to look at Duo's face, taught with anger and his lips thinned into a line before a hand gripped the back of his head and pulled him straight into Duo's face.

The kiss was harsh just as Duo had meant it to be. He ground his lips into Heero's, gnashing the soft flesh against hard teeth. It was meant to show him that it would not work between them, that Heero did not really want this, but somewhere along the line those objectives changed and Duo's hand tightened in Heero's hair until he whimpered and Duo's teeth bit into Heero's lips until he bled.

"Duo… stop!" Heero grasped Duo's shirt tightly pushing him back but anger was fuelling Duo and he refused to budge. In one quick move Duo had pushed Heero onto the bed and straddled his hips, locking his wrists above his head and was looking down on him.

"Isn't this what you wanted? Huh?" Duo growled and pushed his hips down into Heero's, crotch to crotch, only that Duo wasn't really hard and so the movement didn't do much… other than the fact that it made him realise that Heero was half hard.

Eyes wide with incredulity Duo said, "You're enjoying this?!"

Heero flushed uncomfortably and looked to the side. "Get off of me."

"Clearly you don't really want that." Duo bit out and rolled his hips again causing Heero to gasp and then let out a strangled moan. "My god you really are a slut."

His words caused Heero's eyes to snap to his with shock and his mouth gaped open, soundless in his surprise, disbelief and then fury. Suddenly Duo was thrown off him and Heero got off the bed quickly stepping backwards away from the bed until his back hit a wall.

"I don't ever want to see you again." He said, his voice shaking slightly. Only Duo could make him feel dirty for loving him, only Duo. "I don't want you to look for me. I don't want you to contact me." He ran his fingers through his hair making them stick up slightly and then ran them through again, this time gripping them tightly and pulling. "I don't ever want to see you again." He closed his eyes pulling harder at his hair, forcing that pain to distract him from wanting to cry. "Never. Don't ever, ever come near me again."

Duo's eyes narrowed at Heero and he jumped up, rushing towards Heero who only had a moment to see him advancing and all he could yell out was, "Don't touch me!" before Duo tackled him to the dirty motel carpet, trying to force him into submission but Heero was making it too damn difficult. He kept squirming and struggling, trying not to hit him but wanting to hit him at the same time. He wanted to hit Duo so hard that his jaw would break and his throat would collapse but at the same time he didn't want to hurt him, no matter how much of an asshole he was being.

"Stop!" Duo's voice was commanding and it took only the flash of a second's obedience on Heero's part for him to flip Heero onto his stomach and pull his arm back, holding him down.

Duo sniffed, feeling liquid seeping from his nose and realising it was blood from the coppery, tangy scent of it. He moved his jaw carefully and touched his nose. Nothing was broken. "No more fighting. I'm sorry I said that, I was being stupid. Now let's talk… like civilized people." He said and saw Heero grinding his jaw. "Deal? No more fighting?" Then after a moment there was a small, terse nod. Slowly Duo let Heero's arm go and crawled off him, cautious in case Heero decided to attack him.

He didn't. He did, however, dart away from Duo's reach again, in the opposite direction of the door so Duo didn't worry about him attempting escape.

Heero's cheek throbbed slightly but he knew that Duo had gone easy on him. He had seen Duo punch hard enough to cause concussions easily and all Heero had was a mildly aching cheek.

Once Duo had gotten up and resumed his seat on the edge of the bed, several tense moments of silence followed. Heero fidgeted slightly, glad that Duo wasn't looking at him while Duo twisted and then untwisted the end of his braid repeatedly.

"I don't understand." Heero said finally and Duo's head snapped up at his voice. When he shot him a confused look Heero decided to elaborate. "I don't understand why you want me back."

Duo studied Heero's face, seeing the swollen lip where he had bitten it, the slight reddening of his cheek where he had punched him, and the general skittishness that he had unknowingly caused. He thought hard about Heero's statement and realised that he didn't know. All he could capture were random bits and pieces of thoughts along the lines of I miss you and You're my best friend and the more adamant thought Come back, please come back.

"Caleb broke up with me." Duo informed instead and from the corner of his eye he saw Heero stiffen. "He said that I cared more about you than I did about him."

He did glance up then and saw that Heero's eyes were wide. Then he heard Heero chuckle. "That's something we have in common then. We both think Duo Maxwell cares more about the other than us."

"I do care about you Heero." Duo said in exasperation, his fingers twitching around the fine hairs at the end of his braid.

"And Caleb?" Heero asked, crossing his arms again.

"We broke up remember? And I spent the last year finding you and not trying to make things right between Caleb and I. Now tell me who I care about more."

When the silence from Heero went on too long, Duo added tiredly. "I have known you since I was fifteen… you were my best friend, my roommate, my partner, my ally… everything. Caleb and I had met only a few months before we were dating. Tell me who I am likely to care more about? A guy I have known for a few months but we're fucking? Or the guy I have known half my life and I count on him from big things like having my back on missions to small things like making sure there's milk in the fridge?"

Heero swallowed thickly when he heard Duo, and his heart fluttered to his words. It was hard to keep hope at bay when Duo said things like that.

"I mean… god! You're… you're everything! You have taken bullets for me, patched up my wounds, nursed me back to health when I fell sick, cleaned up my puke from the carpet after I got smashed… you learned to make pancakes and crepes just because I liked them, you bear your clothes smelling like vanilla because I want vanilla softener even though you hate vanilla, and you didn't even get annoyed at me when I mistook bleach for softener and bleached all your clothes white…" He took a deep breath and seemed to be talking more to himself now. "Caleb…? We'd go to a bar every other day and have some drinks. We'd fuck. We'd kiss in the hallways of HQ… and that's… that's it. That's all Heero. So what makes you think I'll love him more than you huh?"

Heero felt his chest constriction, his breathing sounding too loud in his ears but he still didn't feel like he was getting enough oxygen. He could hear his heart pounding it was so loud and he felt numb but more alive than he had ever been. Determinedly, Heero squashed the blossoming hope in his chest but this time, he couldn't step down on it completely. It hovered, someplace in his chest, somewhere in the pit of his stomach. It danced behind his eyes and ran through his veins.

"I mean… it didn't even hurt, not even a little, when Caleb said we were through… but when you left, you just… you ripped my heart out Heero." Duo continued, his voice soft and somewhat breathy, "I missed you everyday. Every goddamn day that you were gone I'd think of you, and your empty room and how everything went to hell… and I… I think I… I think I love you." Duo said his eyes wide as though he had just realised this himself. All this time he had loved Heero, more than a friend or not but definitely more than Caleb.

"You don't mean that." Heero whispered but the small sliver of hope had bloomed into dreams and wishes and hope. The unfailing, determined kind that keeps whispering 'It'll be alright' and 'don't worry, everything will be fine' in your ears.

"I do." Duo said, looking up straight into Heero's eyes and then he got up. He walked to Heero and leaned in close, his one hand cupping Heero's cheek and another on his waist holding him steady. "I love you more than I would love a friend. But do I love you as a lover?" He breathed. "I'm willing to try." He said before placing a soft kiss on the corner of Heero's mouth. It didn't feel all that different from kissing Caleb… maybe he could do this, maybe he could fall in love with Heero when he already loved him anyway.

"You'll try?" Heero confirmed, feeling heady with happiness and even though he tried to control it he felt himself smile.

"I'll try." Duo said leaning forward with the intent of kissing him on the lips but at the last moment moved slightly to kiss the corner of his mouth again. "But you have to promise, if we don't work out you won't leave me. Ever."

"I won't. I promise."

"And I will do stupid things, say stupid things but you still don't get to leave me. Deal?" Duo said pulling Heero to him and wrapping his arms around Heero's waist lightly.

Heero chuckled against Duo's shoulder. "Deal."

Duo's arms tightened briefly around Heero and then he pulled away, grasping Heero's hand lightly. "Then let's go try, shall we?" He asked with a shit-eating grin on his face and Heero found himself smiling openly for the first time in a year and a half… the first time since he had uttered those three words to Duo.

Yes, let's go try. Heero echoed Duo's thoughts and then pulled on his jacket before following Duo out into the howling snow.

End

A/N: Anybody want to beta for me? I promise it won't be that bad, and you get to rip on me for my poor characterization (in)abilities! Who wouldn't want that? (Grin)

If you're interested, let me know what story(ies) of mine you would like to beta. If you wanna be a general beta then that's awesome too!!

PS: The fic will continue in the next one-shot 'Lifeline'.

Hope you liked! Oh and review please? Thank you!
Persephone