He had no idea what to do. In his long life as a creature of God he has seen many things and not all good. Usually he was able to accept the bad with the good with a sense of balance but not today. Today as he watched the woman he loved writhe in pain and the tears flow freely down her face he could not see the balance.

"Cas, how are you holding up man?" he heard his best friend whisper as he stared hopelessly at his wife in the hospital bed. She was so small and so fragile to him and he knew that no longer was he the all powerful creature she needed him to be.

"I…I don't know what to do Dean." Castiel said as he looked over at the Winchester with tears in his eyes. Dean was also a little misty eyed but he was trying to stay strong for him. He should appreciate that but right now he didn't want anyone to be strong, he wanted them all railing and fighting against the injustice of the situation.

"No one would Cas, just try and be strong for her ok?" Dean said with as much hopelessness as Castiel felt.

"How can I be strong Dean? We've had our life ripped apart, our child taken away before he even lived." Cas said and the hopelessness changed to rage. He wanted to fight, he wanted to destroy, he wanted to kill.

"Cas, Cas, come on Cas, don't go there. Not now. Look at her." Dean spun him around to see his pretty little wife in the bed in absolute pain, physical, mental and spiritual. Her soul, which was normally a shining beacon of love for Cas was now a small withering whimper.

"She needs you Cas, she needs you now more then ever before. All the shit you've gone through, all the shit she's dealt with? Its nothing compared to this. This could break her Cas and you need to make sure you're there to stop that from happening. I'm not saying its fair, hell nothing about any of this is the tiniest bit fair, but its your job. She is your responsibility and you have to take care of her. Understand?" Dean asked turning Cas back so that he could look into his eyes.

Slowly Cas backed away from the anger that wanted to engulf him. Dean was right, Dean was usually right. Castiel needed to swallow his own sorrow and be there for his wife. He had brought her into this life with him and he would be less then nothing if he didn't do everything in his vast power to help her now. So finally he nodded to Dean and the hunter sighed with relief.

"Me and Sam will take care of everything else, you just be there for Perri." Dean said drawing the angel in for a tight hug before leaving the room. Castiel watched him leave and then walked back to the bed.

"Perri?" Cas asked in a gentle voice as his wife lay on her side sobbing. He tentatively reached his hand out to touch her shoulder.

"Castiel." she wailed and grabbed at his hand like it was the last lifeline she had. And maybe it was. Cas lay down on the bed with her, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her in close to him. Her entire body was easily covered by his own and she shook against his chest. Her normally vibrant blonde hair was dull and dry in his face.

"I'm here Perri. No matter what happens I'm here. I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you, not strong enough to save our son." he whispered a confession against her hair and she sobbed harder.

"Everything hurts." she said in a voice so soft he barely heard her.

"But everything can heal." he whispers against her hair as he kisses the top of her head. He closes his eyes and just hold his wife hoping its enough because its all he can do.