A/N: hello you lovely people. I have missed you. These last few years have been filled with a strong case of writers block. I would love to go back and write another chapter to my other stories but I can't figure out where to go with them. Hopefully writing this story will shine some light on them. But, this is a companion piece to a chapter story I am working on. I wanted to shine some light on Speedy and Raven's relationship prior to the start of the other story (don't worry that story will be coming soon. I already have two chapter done on it). Sorry if the characters seem OOC. But, I really like the way this came out. It hasn't been edited so sorry about that also. I'm looking for a new beta so if you know anyone please let me know. As always please read and review. Love you guys 3
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Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Teen Titans.

It was a rainy New Years Eve at Teen Titans East. The annual Teen Titan New Years Eve Party was in full swing. But, our story doesn't
start at the party. Instead we turn our eyes upon the tower roof. A lone figure sits on the edge, letting the rain drench him. His red hair sticks to his face; green eyes stare down into the water below him. So lost in his thoughts, he doesn't notice
that he is no longer alone. A violet hair girl has come looking for him after feeling his emotions. While she was slightly enjoying the party, his feelings hit her like a knife in her gut. She knew that she couldn't ignore him in his hour of need.
While everyone else was busy drinking the night away, she sneak up to the roof. She stood watching him for a moment before she finally decided to speak up.

"Speedy, are you ok," the girl asked sitting down next to him.

Speedy made no indication that he had heard her. She tried calling him again but with no luck. It wasn't until she placed her hand on
his did he notice her.

"Raven? What are you doing out here," he asked finally looking at her.

"I came looking for you."

"Ahh, Rae, I knew you like me. Did you miss me that much," he asked smiling at her. The smile was forced and never reached his eyes.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Of course not. Why would it be," the 17-year-old look away from her, hoping she would be like the rest of the Titans and drop it.

"Speedy, you know you can talk to me...I know something is wrong. I won't judge you," she said looking out into the water along with
him.

Speedy didn't say anything for awhile. Too lost in his thought. Raven could feel the demons eating him alive. She knew that he wanted
someone to talk to, he just didn't know the right words to say.

Raven turned her head to look at him. It has been awhile since she last saw him. Raven shudder thinking about to how he looked a year
ago.

"I still get the cravings sometime, you know. I mean, I never want to go down that road again. But, sometimes I wonder did I make the
right choice when I chose to get clean. The drugs and women were a way out for me. A way for me to forget things and feel whole. Even if it was just for a few hours. THese last couple of months have been hard. Don't get me wrong the beginning was
hell. But, now that I have made it past the withdrawal stage, everything feels exactly how it did before I turned to the drugs. Green Arrow is never around. Hell, he doesn't even want anything to do with me anymore. All he does is send a check in
the mail once a month. That is the only form of contact between the two of us...All the other Titans look at me different now. They all fear that I might go back. Most of them didn't; even want to be around me tonight, its clear in their eyes when
they look at me," Speedy said throwing a lone rock off the roof.

Raven followed the rock with her eyes before she answered him, "I understand what you are going though. I never did drugs. But..."

Raven took a deep breath. She was about to tell him something she has never told anyone before. She understood what Speedy was going
though. It got hard always trying to be good. Always trying to do what is right. While she didn't approve of what Speedy did, she could understand. "But, I did use to harm myself."

Speedy was shocked by what she just said. Raven was waiting to feel the disappointment roll off of him. But, all she felt was anger and
confusion. "Why Raven?"

"It was just after Beast Boy and I broke up. I was down. I didn't think anyone cared about me at all. I just...I just thought that
the Titans were only pretending to be my friend so that I didn't destroy the world. I'm sure you heard, but Beast Boy and I didn't exactly end things on the best of terms. I was just at a really low point. I have stop now. But, every now and then
I get this feeling. Its hard to describe. But, when things are too emotional, I just get this feeling like everything would just be okay if I pick up the knife again." Neither one of them said anything for a while, just watching the water below.

"It may be hard for me to express myself, but that doesn't stop me from feeling things. Even I need an out sometimes. I can't promise you that the feeling will go away. But as time moves on, I can promise that you will be able to ignore it. Most days, when the feeling of harming myself comes up, I am able to quickly move past it."

"I hope you are right, Rae. Some days it is just so hard. It would be so easy to just go find the drugs and some women."

"You are stronger than that Speedy. You are so much stronger than this. This is just a small thing to get over. Once you do, you will
realize that things aren't so bad."

"Maybe...maybe Raven," Speedy said as the rain stopped.

"Speedy, can I ask. What made you turn to drugs?"

"I just felt so alone. I know, it's weird to feel alone when I am surrounded by 5 other Titans 24/7. But, while we may live together,
we aren't close. Not really. None of us really know who the other people are. Hell, we don't even know each others real names. Sometimes we don't even see the other without their mask on."

It was then that Raven realized that Speedy wasn't wearing his mask. At no time during the conversation had he made a move to put it
back on. "Rachel," she said staring away from him.

"What," he asked looking at her.

Raven stared into his green eyes. She would have never guessed how beautiful his eyes were. "My name is Rachel. Rachel Roth."

Speedy smiled a small smile at her before saying, "Roy Harper. It's a pleasure to met you Rachel."

Raven couldn't stop the laugh that came out. "See. Its weird isn't it? We have known each other for years and yet something as simple
as name is unknown to all of us."

"Spe...Roy, you know, I may live on the other side of the country, but if you ever need anything, I am here for you. I don't want you
to feel alone. I know all to well what that is like."

"See, Raven, this is why I like you. People are always saying how mean or creepy you are, but that's just because they don't know you.
You are kind and caring. You came all the way up here from the party just to check on me."

Raven laughed before she answered him, "You say that to all the girls, don't you?"

Speedy stared at her confused. "You just said this is why you like me. I may not live here, but I've heard about you and your ways."

Speedy shook his head. He should have known she would hear about how he used to be, "That was in the past. Somethign else I left behind
with the drugs. I mean it when I say I like you. And no, Raven, I don't mean like the same way I would say it to Star or Bee. I mean I "like" you. I have for awhile now."

Raven was glad she still had she hood on. With it, he wouldn't be able to see the blush that just appears on her checks. "Why me? Star
is beautiful. Bee is pretty cute also."

"You must not look at your self much. Raven, to me, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. I haven't forgotten the time you came
to visit me while I was going through withdrawal. You came on one of the bad days. But, you stay with me. You held me through the pain. You even try to take most of it away from me. I remember waking up next to you on the bed. The sun was setting,
so the light was a soft pink color. You looked so beautiful with you hood down. You were so relaxed and at peace as you slept. It was the first time I ever saw you like that. That was when I really decided to get clean. I wanted to see you like that
again. At first I was only getting clean for the team. So that we wouldn't look bad. But, after seeing you. I wanted to do it for my self. I wanted to be able to see you like that again."

Raven was at a lost. She didn't know what to say to him. She knew excatly what day he was talking about. She had planned to just go see
him and leave. She just wanted to see with her own eyes that he was still alive. That he didn't OD. But, she couldn't bring herself to leave him when she saw him. She knew everyone else was taking the time to distant theirselves from him. But she
couldn't bring herself to do it. After that day, she made a point to visit him at least once a week. It wasn't hard to do seeing how she could teleport anywhere.

Raven was about to speak when they heard the other Titans start shouting.

"10...9...8...7...6...5...4..."

"Hey Raven?"

"3...2..."

Raven turned towards him but before she could answer, his lips were on hers. She stood still for a moment. Shock that he was kissing
her. But, a moment afterwards, she began getting into the kiss. She moved her lips against his as he brought his hands up to cup her face. Raven felt his tongue trace her lips. She gasped when she felt his hands slight touch her butt. That was enough
of an opening for Speedy to slide his tongue into her mouth. Both of them felt the need for air, but neither wanted to break the kiss.

"Raven...Speedy there you two are. Come on. Its midnight. We are all waiting for you us before taking a shot," Robin said opening the
door to the roof.

Raven and Speedy jumped apart. Both we blushing like crazy. "We will be down in a moment, Robin," Raven said as Speedy slipped his mask
back on.

As Robin left, Raven stood up. She was almost to the door when she suddenly turned around and said, "Roy, you have a lot of work to
do to prove to me that you do actually like me. I am not making the same mistake I made with Malchior and Beast Boy."

Speedy stood up and smiled at her, "Don't worry Raven. I got a taste of you. I don't plan on letting you slip through my fingers."

Raven smiled at him as they both made their way back downstairs. They were both wishing that Robin didn't walk in on them when he did...

~FIN~