I kinda knew all along that this would happen.
But ignorance was bliss.
I just wanted to be called his.
So I can only blame myself for it hurting.
Way back when we were young
I told him on day one, I said,
"It won't be long
before I cry a tear for you.
It won't be long
before you break my heart in two."
Oh baby I hope you know
what you're doing to me.
Oh baby, I hope you know
what you're doing.
Royalty~ Won't Be Long
Only the dim red emergency lights lit the med bay. The high grade reflected the light in shimmering pink in his glass. He didn't know why he was still using the glass. His optics didn't move from the far wall. The high grade rippled, lapping against the sides of the glass when his hand trembled. In his other hand his thumb stroked over a dull piece of cobalt armor.
He looked up in surprise when a bag of his favorite sweets landed in his lap. He'd left the city joors ago needing peace and quiet. The clinic was overflowing with the refugees from east Kaon flooding in and they were short staffed. He was trying to keep up but general practice wasn't his field. He could only do so much. "How? How did you even find me?" His bewilderment began to warm to something that made him blush.
"You wanna get away from me you're gonna have to do better than this. You're stuck with me for life," a warm husky voice whispered. Gold optics reflected the suns above that damnable smirk firmly on his face.
He brought the glass to his lips and felt the sting of high grade hit his glossa but didn't taste it. The wall drifted out of focus and it was too hard to concentrate on it again. The glass stuttered against the metal surgical table he was sitting at. He picked it up again and tossed the rest of it back before pouring more. His shaky hand splashed some out of the glass. His thumb scraped over a sharp edge on the armor where it had been sliced against the grain.
"Do I look like a mech who does heavy lifting?" he asked sitting on the low wall watching the bigger mech heft a beam onto his shoulder. It had to weigh at least as much as him but he carried it with practiced ease. Even in the chill cloudy day condensation beaded down his spinal relay and across his shoulders as he worked.
Golden optics bright as the suns laughed at him as he strapped the beam into a harness so it could be lifted to the top of the building. "Nah, you look like one of those decorative things we put on last after the marble's all shined up an' ev'rything."
Wrinkling his nasal ridge at him he held out the box he'd brought. "Keep it up and both myself and your lunch are leaving."
Confident swagger and knowing smirk. "You gonna go find someone shiny like you?"
He stood up and looked up at the taller mech dusty from work this orn and roughened from almost a lifetime of similar orns. "You can be shiny, I've seen it." He rubbed off some of the dirt on his chest. "See?" he said playfully. Standing on his toes he pressed a quick kiss to his mouth. "No one will ever be shiny like you," he murmured.
Climate control kicked on sending a wash of cold air over him. His claws clinked against the glass when his fingers tightened. The longer he stared at the wall the more the shadows in the corners began to resemble that big broad shouldered frame. He didn't look. He let the illusion flirt at the edges of his vision. His thumb stroked over the smooth flat side of the armor. It was warm from his hand. If he tried hard enough he could imagine it was warm against another's frame.
Snow cocooned the city. His apartment was high enough the city noise was already distant, but now with the snow still coming down it was silent even as it stretched into mid-orn. Stroking his hand across the warm chest under him he smiled a little. "I wish we could do this forever," he murmured.
"Forever's a long time," that slightly husky voice murmured, rougher in his half drowsing state. "You sure you can put up with me that long?"
Straddling that strong body he kissed him slow and deep. "You think forever will be long enough?" he whispered watching those sun bright optics darken to gold. Warm hands stroked up his sides and held him close.
"It just might."
The glass shattered against the wall. A second later the scrap of armor followed. The stool he'd been sitting on clattered to the floor when he stood his body trembling from head to toe. He turned to look at the taunting shadows but there was no tall frame leaning in any of the corners. There were no golden optics peering at him from the dark. Intakes short and ragged he tried to blink away the sting of optical fluid until it tracked down his face. Lurching forward he fell to his knees near the wall. Shaking fingers picked up the scrap of armor and held it close to his chest. And if he tried hard enough he could imagine the ragged pulse of his spark against that small piece of armor was another's.
oOo
A/N: Experts agree that the healthiest way to start your day is with a well-balanced breakfast and a strong portion of angst.
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