March 2017
The hospital hallway was quiet compared to the cascade of sounds that had erupted here moments ago. All was calm now, and he hated it. Nick thought that by taking a director position at the lab in San Diego that the drama would be out in the field. He was wrong. The violence had found a way to breach the cozy office lifestyle he had embraced over the last two years. After being called in as a consultant on a series of violent gang attacks, the consequence of those attacks was now laying here in this hospital bed. Arrests had been made and charges were being filed as he stood here but nothing could force this kid to wake up. Doctors did not know when or if he ever would again. Seventeen was too young to end up like this, hooked up to machines and wires, but for Nick it was an all too familiar sight.
February 2015
"I need to see her," he demanded.
"She's still critical sir, family only," the nurse informed him politely.
"She doesn't have anyone else," he begged "please"
The nurse looked at him with sympathy before reluctantly letting him in to the sterile white room Julie occupied. When he saw her lying there, hooked up to all the noisy machines, his heart broke. He collapsed into the chair beside the bed, staring at her, his heart aching for her to open her eyes and pierce him with some annoyed look the way she did when he was convinced Dallas would win the game, or roll her eyes the way she did whenever he said something silly, anything to let him know she was okay. As he watched her, she looked so peaceful but her face told a different story. Winthrop had hit her so hard; there were terrible bruises and cuts all over her face. A violent rage overcame him now at the thought of what had happened tonight, he wanted to get his hands on the monster and beat him senseless.
"Baby I'm right here," he called out softly to her, reaching for her hand which lay motionless at her side. He squeezed it, feeling how cold it was which scared him but only for a moment because he remembered how she always layered with so many blankets when she slept and was now limited to just the one the hospital provided.
"If you can hear me, squeeze my hand," he tried, hopeful for a sign from her.
But nothing happened. So he tried again, this time a little harder. She still lay there, unresponsive, barely alive, but somehow, miraculously, here.
Nick sensed a presence beside him now and he reluctantly tore his eyes away from Julie to look up and see Russell standing there.
"Doctor says they stopped the bleeding," Russell murmured as if his tone would make a difference to the unresponsive Julie "but they need to watch the swelling in her brain, the next twenty four hours are important."
"Can't they wake her up?" Nick asked feeling stupid but also slightly hopeful.
"She didn't respond to their tests," Russell said "all we can do now is wait"
And wait they did. Day in and day out, Russell would come and sit by her bedside, reading books and talking to her about work as if she was participating in cases.
When Nick had to leave for his new job in San Diego two weeks later, he spent his last day by her side; hating himself for leaving but knowing she would hate to see him wasting away slowly in this hospital with her. He sat as close to her as he could, stroking her hair, admiring her now healing face, taking that as a positive sign towards her recovery.
"This job is a great opportunity for us," he dictated to her "more money, more traveling, I can't wait for you to wake up so I can take you to San Diego, miles of beach, sunny all the time, you'll love it."
He paused, only hearing the steady beeping from the machine monitoring her heart rate. The sound he had grown accustomed to, hated, but also was grateful for as it meant she was still alive.
"You'll be safe here," he continued "Russell's gonna stop by everyday, and Sara and Morgan, Greg, they love you and they'll be here."
He glanced at the clock on the wall, noted the time dwindling down before his flight. He stood up now, and leaned over the bed to be closer to her. He gently brushed her hair aside, finding a tiny scar from the doctor's sutures on her forehead. He traced the jagged line with his thumb, wondering if it was causing her pain, wondering if she could feel anything at all. When he could no longer stop time to be with her, he placed a kiss on her forehead, lingering like he always did, expecting the scent of her shampoo to hit him like a wave of comfort, but feeling crushed when he could not smell it, knowing it had been too long since her last use of it.
"You keep fighting okay?" he whispered only for her to hear "I'll be back soon, I promise."
One last kiss and a heartbreaking "I love you" concluded his soul crushing goodbye to her as he vacated the room in tears.
March 2017
The loud beep from the hospital PA system made him jump and come back to reality. The room in front of him began to swim and he felt dizzy. He couldn't shake the images of Julie lying motionless in the same type of room all that time ago, but it really wasn't that long ago to him. This poor kid in front of him might never get to graduate high school or go to college or do anything again now that life had been robbed from him and yet, he was still technically alive. He suddenly felt the urge to run, to get away from this place, to get to Julie and make sure she was safe. The doctors would take care of the patient and his colleagues would take care of the rest of the gang. So he tore himself away from the room, the hospital and the entire city.
Once in his car, he drove, out of the city, onto the highway, shadows dancing inside his car keeping him awake. The radio was silent, the hum of night traffic almost lulled him to sleep but he thought of her and kept driving.
Soon, the lights of Vegas gleamed in front of him, his eyes blurry with exhaustion but he pushed on, driving straight through the night until he reached the suburb where his house resided. Since it was only after eight in the morning, he figured she would still be asleep as he pulled into the driveway of his first home.
He got out of his car and had to squint against the sun that had just barely risen over the horizon. He traced the familiar path up to his porch and slowly let himself into the house. The first thing he noticed was the aroma of coffee and he knew she was awake. He called out for her, unable to hide the unsteadiness in his voice but knowing it was unwise to sneak up on her when she was alone, especially since the coma. He turned the corner of the entryway that led into the kitchen but was met halfway by her charging at him with open arms, her hair still messy and tangled from sleep, bouncing as she moved, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug and gushing happily "You're here!"
"Yeah," he said quietly unable to mirror her excitement in the moment, instead just happy to physically hold her.
Out of habit, they both tightened their arms around each other as if this would be the last time they would hug for a while. His hug was so strong, she felt him lift her off the ground for a moment.
"Why didn't you call?" she asked him as he reluctantly lowered her back to stand on her own "and why so early?" I could have picked you up from the airport."
"I drove babe," he said plainly.
"What?" she asked stunned by that revelation, breaking the hug to look at him "why? That's too far Nicky."
"Well I uh- I wasn't planning to but I just, I had to see you," he said, his voice trembling with emotion and she knew something was wrong.
"What happened?" she immediately pressed him for information.
But he didn't answer right away. He just reached out and held her shoulders with both hands, looking her over with concern but also relief. He raised one hand to brush her hair back and find the tiny scar leftover from the attack. He traced over the small jagged line the doctors had stitched together in their life saving efforts. He wondered how many scars that kid in San Diego would have if he ever woke up.
Her hand reaching up to hold his bumped him back to reality again.
"What Nicky?" she tried again to get him to talk "what's wrong?"
"There was a case," he finally began "this gang we've been dealing with shot up a party and this kid got hit, he's in a coma now and the doctors don't know what's gonna happen to him and I- I was at the hospital and I saw him just laying there, hooked up to all those machines and I couldn't help but think of you and-
He had to stop talking because his voice faltered again with emotion. But she had all the information she needed. She grabbed both his hands in hers now to hold but he pulled her back in to a tight hug, squeezing her shoulders and resting his chin on the top of her head. They swayed back and forth in the middle of the hallway in silence, the raw emotions from both her attack and this innocent kids weighing on them like bricks.
This was all he wanted and needed a chance to hold her, to know she was okay and safe. He had spent too many nights worried about her being alone here, worried about her at crime scenes, worried that he would get that dreaded phone call telling him she was hurt again, or worse, taken from him violently. That thought made him tighten his hold on her as if that alone would shield her from any harm.
She knew how terrifying it had been for him and everyone else to sit by her bed everyday in that hospital and wonder if she would wake up. But so much time had passed and she wasn't afraid, she could take care of herself.
"I'm sorry," she said lifting her head from his chest where she had rested it while he was hugging her "that's not fair to that kid."
"No, it's not," Nick said "and there's nothing I can do to help him just like there was nothing I could do to bring you back."
"But I came back," she reminded him "I found a way, I don't know how or why, but I did it."
She pierced him with a sympathetic look, her eyes watery as if she was on the verge of crying but was trying not to. She had reminded him of the fighting spirit that she had.
March 2015
It was his first weekend off in March since starting the new job and he had immediately flown to Vegas to see her. As expected, Russell was there by her side, reading to her quietly.
"Hey how are we doing today?" Nick asked as if they both could answer him, taking the seat by the bed like usual.
"She was doing that twitching stuff again," Russell answered "her fingers, her arm, the nurses were pretty optimistic when they saw it."
"That's great baby," Nick praised Julie, kissing her forehead "you can do it sweetheart."
He settled back in the chair and asked "What are you reading to her?"
"Well we finished the last book and this is one she gave me for Christmas so I figured I'd start it," Russell said.
As he turned the page to continue, the heart monitor exploded with a frenzy of rapid beeping.
"Whoa," Nick said sitting up "what's that all about?"
"I don't know," Russell said closing the book as a nurse came rushing in.
"What've we got?" she asked reading the monitor curiously.
Nick watched her face go from curious to alarm in less than a second. She pushed the call button on the bedside for the doctor.
"What's happening?" Nick asked.
"She's crashing," the nurse said without any explanation "her stats just plummeted, I can't get a reading."
"What?" Nick cried out, horrified, leaping out of the chair as Dr. King entered the room.
"Talk to me," she ordered.
"Pulse is dropping, O2 is dropping, everything's failing," the nurse explained.
"No way, she was fine a minute ago," Nick tried to explain but no one listened.
Dr. King descended on Julie with more tools, something to check her pulse, a little light to shine in her eyes.
"Get me the crash cart," Dr. King ordered the nurse.
As the nurse turned to leave however, all of the monitors ceased their rapid beeps and instead drew out a long steady beep as the green line on the monitor no longer pulsated up and down, instead it had gone flat.
Dr. King read the machines and looked crestfallen.
"No pulse, no readings," she confirmed, sadly "I'm sorry but I have to call it."
"What?" Nick and Russell both yelled at the same time.
"I'm so sorry," Dr. King sympathized as the monitor continued to show no signs of life.
"Do something," Nick yelled at them "fix her."
"We can't do that," Dr. King said grievously.
"Yes you can," Nick demanded, rounding on Russell now.
"Bring her back, she'll listen to you," he begged.
But Russell was lost for words. His world had just ended in a split second. Fifteen years of friendship, camaraderie, trust, a bright beam of sunshine on the cloudiest of Seattle's days, gone, violently taken from him, his heart shattering into tiny pieces.
Something behind them beeped, once, twice, several times in a row. Then, a tiny whimper made them all jump and turn to look at the bed. It was her, moving more restlessly now, first her head, then her whole body. Her whimpers, though faint, were continuous. Stunned, Nick dropped to his knees in front of the bed, grabbed her hand, and held it tight.
"Come on," he encouraged her "you can do it."
She turned her head towards him at the sound of his voice and cried out hoarsely "Nicky?"
"Yes," he cried, relieved, "it's me sweetheart, open your eyes."
The brightest light she had ever seen hit her face and she winced in pain. She turned away from it, squinting around to see what was near her, and then her eyes landed on him.
"Nicky," she called out again, feeling a tight constriction in her chest as her heart raced.
Suddenly she noticed the nurse and Dr. King and felt panic rise in her chest. She leaned sideways, almost toppling out of the bed.
"Easy," Nick said standing up now to catch her, feeling her latch onto him weakly, trying to claw her way out of the bed and into his arms.
"What is this?" she asked shaking "what's happening?"
"Tell us what you remember," Dr. King interrupted, knowing Julie's memories would be a test to see if there was any damage.
"Winthrop, he- he was in my condo," she uttered "he hurt me, he's going to hurt me, you have to stop him."
"We did," Russell interjected now "we got him Jules"
"You're safe," Nick assured her, squeezing her shoulder, trying to calm her shaking.
"But- this is a hospital," she noticed now "oh God- what did he do to me?"
She started to cry which alarmed them all.
"Baby listen," Nick soothed her "he hit you pretty hard, he put you in a coma, but we got him okay, he can't hurt you anymore."
"Coma?" she murmured, looking up at him with tear filled eyes "how-how long?"
"A month," Russell confirmed which made her sob harder.
"No," she cried, her breathing becoming more rapid as panic set in "no you guys- I have to go, I have to get out of here."
"You have to rest," Nick said gently settling her back against the pillows "the doctors have to look at you and make sure you're okay."
"No," she protested fiercely, grabbing onto his shirt, burying her face in his chest as Dr. King and the nurse stepped closer to the bed to examine her.
"I wanna go home," she begged him "please take me home, please Nicky?"
Her crying and pleading with him broke his heart. She was terrified and confused, but alive.
"You will sweetheart," he soothed, sliding in bed with her, scooping her up, settling her in his arms, cradling her, shielding her from the agony she had endured "I'm gonna help you get better and I'll take you home, I promise."
He uttered those words for what seemed like an eternity, until her sobs quieted into small cries and they could calm her down long enough to start her on the road to recovery.
March 2017
"Yeah," he said, bumped back to reality when she nuzzled him after he delayed in answering her, reaching out to tuck loose strands of her hair behind her ear to make up for it "yeah you did sweetheart."
He embraced her again, feeling slightly less worried and much calmer now.
"And maybe that kid will wake up too," she assured him, the tone of her voice and the optimism she held lifting his spirits.
"If he's anything like you, he'll find a way." Nick said, hopeful.
A few silent minutes passed between them in which all they could do was hold each other, lost in separate memories of their lives pre and post coma and how they endured and came out on the other side stronger.
"Are you going to stay for a while?" she mumbled now from where she had buried her face in his chest again.
"Well I didn't drive all that way for nothing," he teased swaying with her.
"Good," she said excitedly lifting her head to glance up at him "we can make breakfast together."
She stood on tiptoes to kiss him before taking his hand and pulling him into the kitchen to start cooking, not a worry in the world.