Collision
(Disclaimer: I don't own any of the rights to Casualty)
Adam Trueman walked along the deserted corridors of the ED department. Tonight was quiet, not that he was complaining, but it just seemed odd not to have the hustle and bustle of all the patients to deal with. He glanced at the clock on the wall and saw he was only about a quarter of a way through his shift. He hated doing night shifts, it meant everything went backwards. But he enjoyed rare moments like this, when he could gather his thoughts for a few moments and almost but not quite get some peace of mind. He made his way to the nurse's station where he dropped off some notes, murmuring a fellow greeting to the tired looking nurse sitting there. She weakly smiled back but Adam could see that the double shifts were hitting all the staff hard.
He was about to go back up to his office when he heard the sound of someone sobbing, he looked back to the waiting area and saw a figure sitting there, hunched up, knees curled tight and body convulsing which each sob that ripped through her body. He gently moved towards the figure, as he got nearer her saw it was a young girl, her hair was a mousey shade of brown and he could see a streak of red in his hair which he knew to be blood. Adam crouched down in front of the figure and spoke to her gently
"Hey there" he said softly making the figure look up in surprise.
He looked at her and saw she was no older than sixteen or seventeen. She had blue eyes which were red from crying. Her face had some nasty cuts across them which had been sewn up with stitches. He could see some bruising forming on her face and some sore looking scratches breaking the skins surface
"I'm Adam and I'm a doctor. Can you tell me your name?"
The girl swallowed back some sobs before finally blurting out in a shaky voice "Alex"
The name cut deep into Adam conjuring up images of his deceased brother but he pulled himself together for the sake of this girl
"Alex, are you waiting for treatment?" the girl wildly shook her head
"A nurse already saw me" she sniffed back some more tears "I'm waiting for my mum" her voice shaky as it was managed to crack on the word on the word 'mum' and Adam saw some fresh tears roll down her cheeks.
He immediately felt his heart sank, whatever had happened was clearly ripping this girl apart. He stood up and moved to the seat beside her
"Is she hurt?" and the girl nodded before burying her head back into her knees
"We were in a car crash" she said softly "She's really badly hurt, the other doctor doesn't think she'll pull through and it's all my fault"
"Hey, hey" he soothed the girl who's crying had become more rapid "I'm sure it's no one fault"
She turned her head to the side and said "You don't know that, you weren't there"
"Do you want to talk to me about it; I'm a pretty good listener"
"You're too busy, you're a doctor, you should be looking after sick people not worthless idiots like me" she sobbed
"You're not worthless and you're certainly not an idiot. Also there aren't many patients here tonight and I don't particularly want to leave a lovely girl like you sobbing her heart out in the ED waiting room, why don't you come with me and we'll get you cleaned up"
The girl turned her head once more to look at him. She studied his face for a few moments and it seemed there must have been an expression in his eyes that she knew she could trust because after a moment she slowly nodded her head and mumbled in agreement.
She shakily stood up and followed him down the corridor, he stopped outside the door to the toilets and gave her a gentle push in the right direction
"You go and give your face a quick wash, you'll feel much better I promise you. I'll be right here waiting for when you come out" Alex nodded and made her way into toilets
Adam sighed as he leaned back against the wall, this was far to close to home, he remembered all those years ago when he'd been sitting in the hospital waiting room, just sitting there waiting for any news on his parents or brother. The realisation that he was powerless to help them and all he could do was sit and wait. He could see the same pain and torture that he went through reflected in the girl's eyes. And he could see it was ripping her to shreds.
The door opened again and Alex walked back out giving Adam a brave smile
"Feel better?" he asked gently
"A little bit" she said as she sniffed back some fresh tears that were building up in her eyes
"Do you want to go and see your mum?" he asked but Alex shook her head "I'll come with you if you want"
"I can't deal with this" she said breaking down into tears
"Hey come on" he gently soothed leading her to one of the chairs in the corridor "You've been through a lot today and it's ok to feel overwhelmed"
The girl cried harder and Adam gently took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze "Come on sweetheart" he soothed "It's all work itself out"
Eventually the girl's sobs subsided into mere bleats and she was back in control again
"Did that make you feel any better?"
"A lot" she nodded and Adam smiled
"Crying is good for you. Tears contain a natural painkiller so it's sort of your body's way of trying to soothe the pain you're feeling"
Alex looked up, apparently stunned by this revelation "Really?"
Adam nodded "I promise you, what you're feeling is natural right now. I bet you also feel kind of numb?"
She made a noise of agreement "That's your minds way of protecting you from all this you've been through. It blocks things out until you're able to deal with things better. You're not the first person to feel like this, you're in shock and you've been through so much today. So do you know what we're going to do now?"
She shook her head so Adam continued "We're going to go and see your mum. We're going to take this one step at a time so first you need to explain to me what happened"
"It's too bad" she said burying her head in her knees as she brought them up to her chest
"I don't believe that for a second"
"It was my fault. We were arguing in the car and she took her eyes off the road off a second" her voice wavered but did not break
"What were you arguing about?"
She frowned "It's stupid"
"Go on…."
"The length of my school skirt, she kept going on about how it was too short. Things have been bad between us for a while and this argument sort of lit the fuse. It was the most petty and insignificant thing in the world and look what happened"
Adam sighed "It wasn't your fault"
"If I hadn't been arguing with her then she wouldn't have taken her eyes off the road"
"You can't undo what's been done believe me. When I was little my family was in a car accident, me and my brother, his name was Alex were in the back fighting over this toy. My parents were distracted with our arguing and the car crashed"
Alex looked up in shock "I'm sorry" she murmured
Adam shook his head "It was a long time ago"
"Were you scared?" and he nodded "I'm scared" she admitted
Adam stood up and took her hand "You're not alone in this Alex"
She nodded and the two of them made their way towards recuss, when they got to the door they could see the room flooded with doctors and nurses. Alex wailed and tried to go in but Adam held her back tightly in his arms
"Let them do their job" he whispered holding her firmly
After a few minutes everyone stopped what they were doing and the sound of the monitors stopped. Adam could see Nick Jordan pulling off a pair of gloves and saying the time of death. He looked down at Alex whose eyes were wide with fear, she'd gripped onto Adam's arms around her and was shaking with emotion. Nick came to the door of recuss with a grim look on his face
"Alex…" he said gently "I'm really sorry but we were unable to save your mother"
Alex stood there on the spot not moving. Adam released his grip from around her
"Alex?" her knees buckled and she sank to the floor
"I didn't get to say goodbye" she sobbed
Nick shot Adam a knowing look and the two of them crouched down before Alex
"Do you want to say goodbye now?" Nick said softly
"I think it'll be a good idea" Adam said gently
Alex nodded and stood up shakily, supported by Adam and Nick. She moved into recuss where the nurses were finishing removing the tubes and wires from the body
"I'm sorry mum…I didn't mean to say any of those things, I don't hate you and I'm glad you're my mum…I'm so sorry I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I love you mum…."
She broke down in sobs, with each wave of emotion racking her body; the girl's world had been torn apart. Adam took her gently in his arms and hugged her
"I'm sorry" she sobbed
"Don't be. None of this was you're fault" he pulled away from her "Say it Alex…"
"It…it wasn't…my...my fault" she stumbled over the words
"Now you have to be really brave for me now" he said leading her out of recuss "And I know the pain inside hurts so much right now but you have to be strong"
She nodded though her body was shaking "Alex listen to me, don't let these feelings overcome you. You have to let them out; it's the only way to deal with them, talk to your friends and let them help you. You are a brave young lady and I know you can deal with this but you have to promise me to be brave"
"I promise, I'll be brave like you"
"Good girl" Adam smiled at her
"Alex, you're uncle is waiting in reception" one of the nurses called
Alex wiped her eyes and nodded "Thank you" she said to Adam and he smiled
"Good luck Alex" he called as she walked off to reception to see her uncle. He held her tightly as he comforted hid niece.
"This has gotten to you hasn't it?" Nick said as he watched Adam's expression
"It dig up some old memories"
"Of your Alex?" and he nodded
"Drink?" Nick offered and Adam nodded
As he watched the young girl in reception, he felt a whole range of past memories reawakened. He knew what that girl was feeling and he knew she was strong enough to get through. He also knew he had to deal with his past to move on. The collision of tonight's events had made him look at things differently and he knew now was the time to deal with it. He passed Jessica in the corridor and he smiled at her
"I have something to tell you" he said taking her hands "I love you"
Authors note: And there you have it, my first ever one shot. Exciting I know :P