The Sacred Bubble Wrap

It was about midday on the Flying Dutchman when Davey Jones rushed into his cabin, A few minutes passed before he returned with a sock on each of his tentacles. He started flailing his sock-covered-tentacles around, chanting, "I am the mastah sock puppeteer! Fear mah mad ski-zilz, yo!"

Meanwhile, the UPS boat pulled up alongside the Flying Dutchman. Sao-Feng stepped out of the cabin of the UPS boat with a package. He reached out and grasped the starfish-and-barnacle-covered knocker that just magically grew out of the side of the Flying Dutchman.

knock, knock, knock

Davey, completely forgetting about the socks that were on his tentacles, peered over the side of his ship.

"Delivery…", Sao said gloomily.

Davey's face lit up. "Sao-Feng! Long-time-no-see! I didn't know that you worked for UPS?!"

"I didn't have much of a choice. Well, actually I kinda did have a choice. Beckett arrested me for becoming a cannibal and eating Will's head. He gave me a choice as to my punishment. I could either serve an eternity of community service as a UPS delivery man, or I could eat a years supply of ketchup-doused-avocados, rancid tapioca and horse raddish."

"Okay…"

Davey anxiously climbed down the side of the Flying Dutchman, grabbed his package, and climbed back up, waving good-bye to Sao-Feng. Maacus, who was looking at the package over Davey Jones' shoulder, realized that the package was from E-Bay, and burst into song.

"WHAT I BOUGHT ON E-BAY!!!!!!!!"

Davey Jones used his uber-sharp lobster claw to open up the package. The contents of the package was wrapped in bubble wrap. He cautiously removed the bubble wrap, taking no notice of the object it protected. (Which happened to be the air-conditioner that he ordered last week off of E-Bay) As he held the bubble wrap in his demented hands, he unconsciously started to drool. It was then that Maacus stopped singing and caught sight of the bubble wrap. He too started to drool.

Davey Jones then moseyed on over to a bench inside his cabin and sat down. He placed the bubble wrap upon his lap and removed the socks from his tentacles. (gasp Yes, ladies and gents, he took off his beloved socks. )

Then Maccus kicked down the door and put his hands together Buddah-style, and bowed to Davey Jones.

Davey Jones bowed back, saying:

"Watch and learn, young pupil."

The he started popping the bubble wrap like there was no tomorrow. (Believe me, with that many tentacles, he could probably pop at least 10 bubbles per second.) After the bubble wrap was completely deflated, Maccus stood and replied, "I am not worthy of your skills, master." Then he walked out through the broken door with a stupefied expression on his face.

Jinxeh : Lol! Oh man, that was hilarious! It's awesome to find a Crack!fic on this site that's actually really funny, instead of just really stupid. For some reason, the mental image of Davy Jones popping bubble-wrap with his tentacles makes me laugh. . Good job!

Thanks! I luff making peeps laugh.

NazgulQueen: Wow... That is so funny! Brillient little...thing! Love it! I like the image of Davy Jones running around the Flying Dutchman with sock puppets. Great story!

Thanks, I always appreciate a compliment.

PadmeOnPaper : Myself and my siblings emensely enjoyed this little story, of which I read aloud. It was a side of mr. tenticles we had never seen before and, thus, were amazed at his mad ski- zils! loved it. really. -PadmeOnPaper

Awwww... I feel luffled and warm and fuzzly on teh inside.