My breathing is heavy, and my pupils have shrunken dramatically. My heart is pulsing. My head is aching. What happened? Where am I? Scratch that. Who am I?

"Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Assisted Enrichment Center."

Who said that? The voice produced a forced male voice that cheerfully tried to make light of the situation.

"We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one."

Detention? Relaxation vault? What is that guy talking about?

I look around at the room I'm in. It's small, has glass walls and white-tiled floors, and does not have a single exit. There's a cot in one corner, a toilet in another, and a radio by my bedside. Underneath the radio is a clipboard with notes scrawled on the paper attached to it, but the handwriting's so illegible that I can't read a thing that's on it.

"Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper."

Excuse me? You did what now?

"Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur."

Start what? What do you mean by 'serious injuries may occur'? Someone get me up to speed!

"The portal will open in three...two...one..."

All of a sudden, a blue-rimmed circle opens up in front of me. It leads to the outside of the room I'm trapped in. How is that even possible?

Oh, God. I'm gonna...ah...ah... "ACHOO!"

I turn my head to the side as I sneeze several more times. Then, I open my eyes and see...myself? How is that possible? There's another circle on the other side of the room, and I can see myself through it. The only noticeable difference between this circle and that one is that it's rimmed in orange—not blue.

Should I...?

Daringly, I stick my hand through the colored hole in the wall. I look at my reflection, and I see it do the same thing.

I wonder...

I walk through the hole. Holy crap. It is a portal!

There's a closed gate in front of me. It's colored silver, and it has a simplistic design of a stick figure man exiting a portal. All of the color has been made murky as the result of years of wear and tear. Suddenly, the gate unlocks itself and parts like the Red Sea. There is a sparkling sea of blue behind it. "The incandescent particle field in front of you is an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill. It will destroy any foreign objects that may get smuggled from one testing chamber to another. Please note the following side effects..." Then, a bunch of gibberish is said to me in a manner too speedy for my ears to comprehend.

I stare at the Emancipation Grill for a few moments.

"Please enter the chamber lock," instructs a new voice. This voice is more feminine, and it sounds extremely auto-tuned.

Assuming that the gate that just opened is the chamber lock, I enter the room that's been revealed to me, and the chamber lock closes behind me. An elevator is illuminated by a faltering light. The thing is hardly an elevator, though; it's just a clear tube with a door that slides open for me to enter it. With curiosity, I accept the elevator's invitation. The door slides closed, and the tube shoots up a floor.

-x-

"Please place the weighted storage cube on the Fifteen Hundred Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button."

I listen to the robotic female voice's instructions. I go to one end of the white-colored room and pick up the giant cube that's lying there. God, this thing is heavy. Then, I quickly scurry over to the button and drop the box onto it. Another chamber lock opens, and I walk through it.

-x-

"My, you are progressing quickly through these puzzles. Why don't you try this on for size?"

It's three puzzles in, and the voice claims that I'm moving quickly? These things are cake! Must be a defective recording or something.

The room is pretty empty—no platforms; no cubes; and no anything, really. Then, all of a sudden, a podium rises out of the heart of the room. On top of this podium is a white, gun-like thing.

"Please collect the dual portal device—or "portal gun"—from the podium."

Hesitantly, I do just that.

"Good. Now, the fun begins."

All of a sudden, the room transforms. The podium sinks back into the floor. Makeshift platforms rise in several areas of the room. The floor below me caves in, and I land on my butt. Hard.

"What was that for?" I shouted at the voice who has been talking to me this whole time.

She answers, "Oh, good. You're not another one of those mutes. Things are looking fabulous already."

"Answer me!"

The voice cackles. "Use the portal gun and figure it out."

"Fine! I will!"

Okay, so maybe this isn't cake.

I look at the white portal gun. How the hell do I use this thing? Let's see...

...If I press this button, then press this trigger...

I accidentally shoot a blue portal in front of me. After fiddling with the device some more, I manage to shoot an orange portal onto the ceiling. I step through the blue portal, and...

"OW!" I cry as my butt once again makes a painful impact with the floor. Hmph. Let's try that one again...

I shoot a blue portal in front of me and shoot an orange one at a wall adjacent to a solid platform that's protruding from the floor of the chamber. God, I hope this works...

I enter the portal and end up atop the platform. Good. It worked...but where do I go now?

Above me is a thin platform; across from me is a slanted platform. I wonder...

I shoot an orange portal at the floor and a blue one at the slanted platform, then jump into the orange portal. My body is flung out of the blue portal and thrown across the room. I make it to the thin platform that's suspending in the air, but i hit the wall as I do so. My body aches.

"Well done. Please enter the chamber lock for your next task."

-x-

I wonder what she's got in store for me this time, I think as I wander down a hallway. It should lead me to my next task, but why haven't I gotten anywhere?

Wait, what's the point of this testing anyhow? Am I a beta tester for this portal gun thing? Am I just a lab rat?

I notice a small crevice in the wall that's to the right of me. I peek through it and see a hidden annex. The graffiti on one of its crumbling walls is illuminated by a weak, flickering spotlight that's dangling from the ceiling. Can I fit through this thing?

Daringly, I deviate from the path the voice has sent me down and squeeze myself through the crevice. I get a better look at the graffiti scrawled on the wall. Don't even try, it warns me in red crayon. Underneath it, there's another phrase repeated several times: Her name is poison. There are also drawings of weighted cubes that have hearts in the the center of them. Overall, the graffiti looks like something that was drawn by a madman.

Still, it's fascinating.

"Hey, where did you go?" asks the voice that has been testing me all this time. "Come back. If you don't come back soon, I will find you, and death will be a breath away."

"You better listen to her, mate."

I jump. "Who was that?" I ask.

My answer came in the form of a blue light that emanated from a once-darkened corner of the room.