WARNING: This fanfiction may contain a plot!
The Animorphs began to come out of Cassie's barn, one at a time, having finished their meeting about the latest mission against the Yeerks.
Unknown to them, their every movement was being watched, by a presence hidden even from Tobias' steely glare. From the bushes it watched as Jake came out, obviously brooding AGAIN. He was closely followed by Marco, who was having a clandestine nose-picking session and nervously scanning round to see if anyone was watching him. Cassie came out soon after with Ax and Rachel, and finally Tobias flew out of the rafters. Cassie was in mid-protesting with Jake.
"We can't just KILL them," she wailed, accidentally treading on a rabbit. "That would be WRONG."
"They're Yeerks, Cassie," said Jake in a bored tone.
Cassie's bottom lip trembled and her eyes began to fill up. "Just because they're Yeerks doesn't mean they're not HUMAN."
There was a long pause as everyone tried to figure out how this worked out biologically.
Cassie tried to explain. "If they came from like, really messed up backgrounds, and some totally messed up parents..."
The hidden presence was growing tired of this conversation. It hadn't sneaked into the meeting for nothing.
A couple of seconds after that there was a SHVOOOM sound, the sort a dart might make if it had been fired through the air.
"OW!" screamed Cassie, clapping her hand to her shoulder. "I'VE BEEN SHOT! LOOK!" She pulled the tiny dart from her shoulder.
A small droplet of blood welled up from the skin. Jake trembled and fainted dead away, closely followed by Marco.
Cassie looked at the blood and ran away bawling into the forest.
That left three people. Ax, Tobias and Rachel.
Rachel grinned, picked up a random brick from the floor and whacked Ax round the head with it.
Okay, two people. Tobias and Rachel.
"Let's do it," said Rachel, managing to sound amazingly like Arnold Schwarznegger. "Now those twits are out of the way. Chloe?"
A pretty blonde girl stepped out from behind a tree, holding a dart gun. "Here Boss."
"Let's do it," Rachel sneered, and morphed to mole.
There was silence, only broken by the small scratching noises as Rachel tried to dig through the soil.
"Um, boss?" asked Chloe.
{Quiet, you fool!} Rachel shouted, and carried on digging unsuccessfully.
Chloe looked across at Tobias, who shrugged. {Want to get a Cinnabon and come back later?}
They did so.
Half an hour later, Rachel was digging at the bottom of her pit.
Which was about six inches deep.
"Um, boss...why don't you just use the secret lift?"
{I – can – do –this!} Rachel panted. {Just – a little longer now!}
"But boss, you're going to ruin your nails."
Mole Rachel looked at her paws. {Fine,} she pouted, morphing back to human. (And completely forgetting that, as she was morphed, her nails would be completely restored anyway.) "We'll do it your way." She leant over and pressed a button on a tree that was cunningly disguised as a leaf. Well, they'd painted it green anyway. "Let's do it!" she said into the little hidden microphone.
The square of earth where Rachel, Tobias and Chloe were standing dropped away and the three plunged deep underground.
Silence reigned.
{What the - ?} wondered Ax, who had woken up about five paragraphs ago.
He shook his head. {I have got to stop drinking.}
A thought occurred. {But I don't even drink!}
Another thought occurred. {I have got to start drinking.}
In the end, he trotted off to find Jake.
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Back in Cassie's barn, Jake, Marco, Ax and Cassie were holding an impromptu meeting.
Since it was Ax's idea, they'd brought cinnanbons.
Which was much better than when Jake called a meeting, as Jake always demanded carrot cake.
Why was anybody's guess.
"So let me get this straight," said Jake (Hah! Jake! He's anything but straight...). "Rachel hired someone to shoot Cassie..."
Cassie sniffled, clutching at the plaster on her arm, which she'd taken off a dead mongoose.
"...um, dispose of me and Marco..."
Marco scowled.
"...she knocked Ax out with a brick..."
{It was not a brick. It was merely a dense oblong cube.} Ax put in helpfully.
"...and then she, Tobias and this girl all disappeared underground in a hidden voice-activated lift." Jake frowned.
"Did she have a white cat?" Marco asked.
They all gave him strange looks.
"You know, a fluffy one...?"
{Why should she have a white coloured feline?}
"Well, you know, it just..." He shook his head. "I dunno...it's just something she should, you know...never mind..." he trailed off.
"So what are we going to do?" asked Cassie.
"Eat carrot cake!"
They all turned to Jake and gave him strange looks.
"Ooor...we could just go and try out the lift."
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Rachel was by that time underground. The lift opened at "Floor 58, Menswear".
Rachel glared at Chloe.
"Wrong button," she mumbled, and they went down to "Floor 59, Top Secret Society of Pissed-Off Blondes Headquarters".
The three got out and yes, a fluffy white cat jumped straight into Rachel's arms, where it proceeded to glare malevolently at Chloe and Tobias in the tradition of evil supervillain's cats.
In deference to tradition however, it had a big pink bow.
And manicured pink-painted claws.
{Get that thing away from me!} Tobias squealed.
"Don't diss Fluffykins!" Rachel growled. "Every supervillain has to have a white cat. It's the ultimate accessory."
Chloe frowned. "What, even Darth Vader? 'Cause he was like, sooo icky."
"But he always wore black. It's a classic look."
"Yeah, but it was ICKY black. And besides, if EVERY supervillain has a white cat, doesn't that make them like, passé?"
Rachel gasped. "You're right!" She dropped Fluffykins, pulled out a mean-lookin' gun and aimed it at the cat, who wisely decided to scarper.
{You could get an iguana} Tobias suggested helpfully, after Rachel had let off a couple of rounds to vent her feelings. {Even Visser Three doesn't have one of those.}
They entered Rachel's lair, which was, in classic evil lair style, a huge underground cavern with hundreds of minions working around a massive laser gun. Except that all the minions were pretty blonde girls dressed in colour-coordinated cheerleading outfits, armed with sharpened pom-poms, and the big gun they were working on was pink.
"Hey girls!" Rachel yelled. "How's the operation going?"
"Phase One complete and like SO ready!" one replied.
"Excellent," Rachel smirked. "My plans are falling into place..."
{Um, Rachel?}
"Yeah Tobias?"
{Your blondes seem to have...erm...built the gun upside-down...}
What are Rachel's plans?
Why does Jake like carrot cake?
What will happen to Fluffykins?
Will I stop asking leading questions?
The answer to all of these is no!
Well, apart from the first, second and third question.
To find those you'll have to read the next chapter.