I watched her breathe, her chest rise with every breath she took. She was as beautiful, as always, it doesn't matter how old she is. I knew today was her last day; I could hear it with every beat of her heart, every breath that she took. She's dying. Is it trauma? A disease? I don't know. I left her years ago, my only regret in this never changing life.
In her sleep, she mumbled, incoherently. Only one word, stuck out, piercing me like a saber. "Edward," she cried out miserably. She was having a nightmare of me after years of leaving her. "Don't go," she begged unconsciously. I could see tears dribble down her cheeks. "Please," it was only a desperate whisper now. I knew what she was dreaming about and I couldn't help but be remorseful. I was mad at myself for leaving her. I was in complete rage, at war with myself. Should I hold her for the last time? Should I tell I love her? Should I sing to her till the end? Should I let her die?
"Oh, Bella," I spoke softly. I walked closer to her hospital bed and took her hand in mine, crouching down to eye level with her hand. Her eyes fluttered open, her hand went to hastily wipe the tears, but the wires and tubes connected to her restrained her from doing that.
"What are you doing here? I really am dead, aren't I? I don't have to face the pain and suffering anymore. I'm in heaven," she murmured.
"Shh," I comforted her, reaching up with my free hand to stroke her cheek. "I'm here and I love you. I just wanted to say goodbye. I don't want you to die, thinking that… that."
"Edward," she whispered in awe. "You don't have to be here. I'm making you uncomfortable, you should…maybe I should," she tried to scoot over, but winced in pain, falling back onto her pillow. She breathed in heavily. She was in pain.
"Are you in pain? I never did find out why you are here?" I spoke lightly.
"Cancer. They found a tumor in my brain and it's too large to get out. They gave up on me," she explained, in a weak, hoarse voice.
"I wish…I stayed with you. Now, I won't have time anymore. I wanted you forever, but I had to…I had to…" I mumbled to myself. I shook my head fiercely, she had to know. I don't want her to die like this. "I had to make sure that you were happy with someone else. I didn't want you to be in danger. I wanted you happy, and look what's happened."
"Edward," she whispered weakly. "I've waited day after day, hoping you'd come back, and here you are. This is the only thing I've wanted ever, to die in your arms." She sighed contently and squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you…"
"Good enough? Bella… you are my everything; you make me who I am. I would die for you, Bella. Once you leave me, I'm going to follow, right after. I…I can't live in a world were you don't exist."
"Don't be ridiculous," she muttered. "I'm pretty sure you found someone else. You should go back to her; I shouldn't be around much longer. I mean she deserves you more than I do right now."
"Bella," I scolded her. "Do you really think I found someone to replace you?!"
She nodded her head sadly. "It never made sense for you to love me."
"It never made sense for you to want me. Bella, I love you. I need you. And to show you, I want you to have this." I reached into my back pocket. I've been carrying it around for so long, just in case my walls of restraint fell. "I want you to have this. It is a symbol of how much I love you. No one else can have what you have, a part of me. You're…all I have Bella." I slid my mother's wedding ring onto her finger and kissed it. Bella weakly pulled me to her and pressed her lips to mine. I pulled away. "I want you to know that all I ever wanted was for you to be mine."
"As I wanted for you to be mine," she whispered. "Edward," she started fiercely. "I want more time. I want to spend the rest of eternity with you. I don't want to leave you, I don't ever want to. Please." She gazed into my eyes. "Please," she prayed.
"Hopefully, after this life, it'll be our turn to be happy together. Once you're gone, I'll meet you there. Wait for me. Promise?"
"I promise," she vowed, faintly squeezing my hand. It was the beginning of the end, and I am going to stay with her till her last breath. "Edward," she whispered barely audible. I met her gaze. She patted her hospital bed, softly. "Please."
I couldn't deny her anymore. I wanted this more than she does—I want her safe in my arms again. I gently got onto her hospital bed, sliding under her, pressing my cold body against hers. If it was going to end, I want it to end like this—to die in my arms, tonight. Bella turned toward me and rested her forehead against mine. "Edward," she whispered.
"Yes, Love."
"I don't want this moment to end. Why do these things always happen to us? Why is the world so against us?"
"We're proving a point Bella—a point that no one agrees with. That there are no boundaries around what love can do, no matter how irrational. We'll prove it. We'll show them. I got this," I showed her the poison in a shot that I acquired when I heard about Bella dying. "We'll die together. That will prove how strong our love is."
"Edward, I know you can do better," her weak voice managed. "You can have a family, a life. Don't die for me."
"Bella, I wanted to have a family, a life with you. I don't want anyone else. Once you're gone, I'm going after you and then we'll prove to everyone—we'll prove it." I rocked her in my arms, humming our song.
And tell me that we belong together
And dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated; I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.
Bella started singing along with me in a soft gentle whisper.
And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
And you're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive, not dead.
I traced the ring that circled her finger. I slid it off and showed her the engravement. It said, 'I'll love you forever, Bella. Never doubt it.' "I've always wanted to spend my life with you. It was just the fear that I wasn't good enough that…stopped me. Bella, we haven't gotten to experience much together." We haven't made love, gotten married or…or had a family. I've always wanted a baby with Bella. Always. I can imagine him or her now, with my bronze hair and Bella's chocolate brown eyes. He or she would lie in our arms cooing adorably and we'd bend to nuzzle our nose to his or her cheek. Bella would look at me with a proud smile and kiss my lips as we marveled at our miracle. My adoptive parents, brothers and sisters would look at us, how happy we are.
"Bella, have you ever pictured how our baby would look, if we had one?" I asked awkwardly.
"Yes," she laughed weakly. "Actually, I have."
"Well…" I trailed off excited to get into my loves mind.
"Well, I always pictured us having a bouncing baby boy," she laughed weakly, reaching out to brush a strand of bronze hair off of my face. She ran her thumb across my cheek bone and on instinct, I leaned in. "He had your bronze hair and piercing green eyes. He was quite a lot to look at, adorable. We'd hold him in our arms, watching him sleep as we marveled together. He would be perfect, he'd be ours… Oh, God, Edward, I wish I'd have more time. More time. I just want to be with you again, more than anything." She was crying.
"Its okay, Bella," I soothed, stroking her hair. "You're here in my arms, now and I love you. We're together, now. That's all that matters. We're together." I repeated.
"Edward," she spoke softly. "Have you ever prayed so hard to God and you thought that you would never get what you wanted, no matter humble you would be?"
"Yes, I have. I prayed for you, but you are mine now aren't you?" I raised her hand with my mother's ring. "Maybe God will do the same for us—that we'll be together wherever we will end up."
"That's all I'm asking for," she sighed, leaning her forehead back against mine.
If you're lost
You can look
And you will find me
Time after Time.
If you fall
I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after Time.
"Time after Time," she murmured into my ear. I smiled at her and kissed her nose sweetly. "I wonder what would've happened if you stayed with me."
"I don't know, Bella. But we definitely wouldn't be in this situation." I just held her, not needing her to say anything, just her presence was enough. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I kept apologizing. Just then Bella clutched my body in her arms. "Bella," I exclaimed in a scared voice. "Don't leave me," I sobbed.
"Edward," she replied in a small whisper, the energy draining from her voice. "I love you," she reminded me. "I'm yours, I'll be waiting. Please, don't forget me." Her voice faded then, her eyes holding mine, and then falling closed. The machine by her hospital bed recorded as her heart thumped the final beats before going into a monotone continuous blaring that announced her death.
Somehow, I managed to get a pen and a piece of paper out of my pocket and wrote.
"I love you, Bella," I murmured. I kissed her lips and the ring one more time, before holding her tighter and injecting the poison into my arteries. I could feel the killing substance seeping through my blood vessels bringing me one step closer to accompanying my love in a different place. I could hear the blaring of the loudspeaker, but all it sounded like now, were sirens. They were probably calling for doctors, but it was almost over. Bella and I are off to a better place, where we can finally be happy together. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan. She's mine. From somewhere inside me, the tugging became too much and I finally lost consciousness. Finally, I'm with her again.
Charlie's Point of View
"Mr. Swan, I'm sorry," the nurse spoke. I broke into tears then. I lost my princess.
"Can I see her?" I asked in a broken whisper, looking at my shoes, wiping my tears.
"Of course." She walked then, motioning for me to follow to the room Bella spent most of her last three months in. It hurt seeing her go through all that pain. No father should ever go through that. "Here you are," the nurse spoke, "I leave you here." I walked up to Bella's hospital bed, looking at my shoes the whole.
"Oh, Bella! You were so young." And that's when I saw Edward Cullen, underneath her, his eyes closed as well. He was pale and not the radiant teenager that he was before. There were tear stains running down his cheeks as well as Bella's. Somehow through it all they looked happy, their arms wrapped around each other, their foreheads resting on one another. "Edward," I murmured, moving to pat his shoulder. Instead of anger, I was thankful. But he didn't respond. His skin was cold and pale. "Edward," I called again, shaking his shoulder. Wha…What happened? That's when I saw a note folded up in his jacket pocket. I unfolded the note and out fell a syringe and a tiny dose bottle of cyanide. "Edward?" I shook him harder now, no response.
"DOCTORS!" I yelled.
"Mr. Swan?! What's wrong?!" a nurse came running in.
"Check him. Please…oh God, please," I whispered pointing out Edward. She quickly walked over to Edward and checked him out, shaking him, then finally taking his pulse.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Swan, but he's gone." I felt horror play on my face. "I'm sorry." She walked out then.
I fell to my knees, breaking down, letting my tears fall. I unfolded the note again and read:
Sorry,
Carlisle and Esme: I couldn't live without Bella anymore. She is my life and my heart and I have made my decision. Please don't judge me in the way that I would've been a bad son, please just understand. That's all I want—my last wishes.
Chief Swan: I know I put your daughter through a lot while I was gone. I apologize for all the pain you had to see her go through. No father should ever have to see that. Please forgive me. She's finally in a good place—where she belongs.
Everyone else: Love is irrational. Don't ever doubt that. Love will make you do things that you will never think possible. That's what happened with me and Bella. Our love couldn't be torn apart by time, distance, or even action. I love her so much, that I sacrificed my own life, just to be with her again. Even though, she thought it was sick and demented, it was for her. It was all I could offer. Don't make the same mistake I made. I knew she would be my only love through my life, but I thought I wasn't good enough. But in the end, she told me that I was all she had. Don't make a decision you will regret.
"He loves her," I whispered, incoherently, still sobbing. I walked back over to the hospital bed, sitting on the edge. I stroked my princess' hair and looked guiltily over at Edward. "You love her." I gazed at them, then to where their hands were joined. Around her ring finger was a gold ring—an engagement ring. "Oh, Edward. My son." Reluctantly, I pulled my cell phone out of my sheriff's jacket and dialed a number that seemed foreign to me.
"Hello," a voice spoke on the other end. It was Carlisle.
"Hello, Carlisle," I spoke, sniffling. "It's Charlie."
"Oh, hi, Charlie. It has been a long time since you've called. How are you?"
"Not so well. Carlisle, I need you and Esme to come to the hospital, quick."
"Why, is there something wrong?"
"Terribly," I replied, sobbing again.
"We're on our way." I hung up and looked back to Edward and Bella.
"Edward, you were so young. Both of you." Edward killed himself, injected poison into his body, just so he could be with Bella again. "Why?!" I questioned sobbing. "Why does this have to happen to you two? Why? You guys were so innocent, never did anything wrong. What did you do to deserve this fate?" I sat on the edge of the hospital bed and just cried, until Carlisle and Esme busted through the doors of the hospital room.
"They're gone," I cried. I handed over the note and showed Carlisle the dosage bottle of cyanide poison and the syringe. Esme and Carlisle read the note, and soon, we were all crying.
"At least, they're both happy now," Esme spoke.
I nodded in agreement. "They were engaged before they died." I motioned to the ring on Bella's finger.
"Our daughter," Esme cried.
"My son," I agreed. "I'm sorry."
"I am too." Well at least, they are happy and together again.
Edward's Point of View
Once I regained what I thought was consciousness again, I heard a voice calling for me, like a siren's song. "Bella," I whispered searching.
"Edward," she called again, her voice getting closer. That's when I saw her. "Edward!" she screamed joyously, jumping up into my arms. Once I could breathe again, I pressed my lips to hers.
"Where are we?" I asked her.
"Where we belong—Edward we're in heaven, together."
"Thank God. I love you, Bella."
"I love you, too." Then I heard another pair of voices—they were the ones that I thought I'd never hear again.
"Edward," they called for me, a male and a female.
"Mom? Dad?" I questioned, pulling Bella with me towards the voices.
"Edward!" they yelled in unison, when I finally found them.
"Mom! Dad! I thought I'd never see you again," I cried.
"Edward, why are you here?" my mother asked.
"I couldn't live without my love," I explained, lifting Bella's hand and kissed it. "Mom, Dad, this is my Bella."
"Isabella, thank you for making our son happy. Thank you, thank you." They showered Bella and I with kisses and hugs.
"Mom, she's mine, forever." I showed my mother, her ring that now is Bella's.
"Oh, Edward! I'm so proud of you," my mother, Elizabeth gushed, as my father congratulated us. And then somewhere from behind us, a little cry erupted. A tiny cry of a baby. Bella and I turned to see a bronze haired baby, in a bassinette. "Edward, is this your son?" my mother asked. I heard a voice in my head saying, Show your son how much you love him. You and Bella deserve him.
"Yes, mother. This is our son." I picked up the baby from the bassinette and cradled him to both Bella and my chest. He cooed adorably, like we both dreamed.
"Edward, our son," Bella cried, kissing me. She had the brightest, happiest smile on her face. I smiled back at her, then at our son.
"What do you want to name him?" I asked Bella.
"All me?" she asked. She hesitated, then spoke. "Charlie Masen Cullen."
"Charlie," I cooed. "My dear baby boy, open your eyes." And as if he understood, he slowly let his eyes flutter open. "Charlie," Bella and I crooned, gazing at his emerald green eyes.
"Hi, Charlie!" my mother, whispered, reaching out to stroke his hair.
"I love you, Charlie," I whispered into his tiny ear. "I love you, Bella. Mom and Dad."
Finally, Bella and I could be happy after years of suffering. Thank God for everything. So much Love, so much happiness.
