Spoilers: Ummm…. References to a few Season 2 episodes and possible hints for Season 3.
Disclaimer: Shockingly I don't own Stargate Atlantis, but I'd gladly take the characters if TPTB get tired of them.
A/N: Reviews make my day!
"It's choice, not chance, that determines your destiny"
-Jean Nidetch
Free will, it's what makes us human. The ability to choose ensures that we're not just mindless automatons. Fate, in the way most people mean it, doesn't exist. Our choices have molded us into the people we are and pave the way for our futures. Choice is an awesome force that has the power to save or break us. Think how different our lives would be if at some past crossroad we had chosen another path.
I think about it all the time. What would have happened if I hadn't joined the Air Force? What would have happened if I hadn't disobeyed orders and gone back for my fellow soldiers? What if she hadn't taken a chance on me? Where would I be now if that coin had landed on the other side? I know the answer to the last two; I'd still be suck in Antarctica, that black mark on my record making in impossible to rise any higher in the ranks. What I would have missed! Already in my short time in Atlantis I've seen and done things most people never dream of. I feel like I belong here, and this incredible city feels a lot more like home than Earth. People here respect me, believe in me, her more than anyone; and, though begrudgingly at first, I came to return the sentiment. I took the risk, made the choice to trust her, a risk I haven't taken with anyone in a long time.
Because of her I chose to once again disobey a direct order from my commanding officer. When she asked me to be a host for Thalan's consciousness, I chose to give up control of my body. Because of her I decided to help turn Michael into a human. It was her gentle prompting that convinced me to agree to an alliance with the Wraith. After boarding the hive ship headed for Earth, I chose to fight my way back to her. Once I made it back to Atlantis I chose to envelope her in a hug, thankful we were both still alive. When Earth sent someone to question her leadership ability I chose to defend her as she had once done for me. After I found out she had been taking sedatives I chose to confront her about why she hadn't let me help her, and then held her in my arms as she finally broke down and cried.
When I realized I was in love with her it surprised me. It wasn't something I had decided upon or consciously planned on doing; but my soul made a choice, long before my mind recognized it. It took all the courage I had to choose to tell her how I felt, and I was the happiest I'd ever been when she replied she loved me too. It was because I'd never felt that way about anyone that I chose to stand by her side and risk everything to fight for our relationship when the SGC objected.
And today? Today I chose to get down on one knee and put everything on the line. I've made my choice, now it's up to her.