Creepy Fan Mail
Diana Allers seated herself at her private terminal, logging on to check on the droves of fanmail in her Email account. Even with the massive storage capabilities of her Email, it could only hold up to ten thousand pieces of mail. Needless to say, with a body and reporting prowess like hers, she easily exceeded that number on a weekly basis. So she made it a practice to read through all her mail and delete it accordingly.
Diana entered her inbox, and sighed slightly at the first Email:
From a Turian Fan:
Oh God, Turian fan mail was the worst kind, especially with the Reaper War going on. Still, she may find a few chuckles within the Email. She clicked the Email open and began to scan paragraph.
I just wanted to tell you that I think your opinion on the newest model of the Dark Matter Cannon incredibly unique. I always love it whenever you talk so candidly about guns of any kind, no matter how small or large. You always bring up such great details about them like the weight, thickness, color, which species uses it, and whether it requires two hands or one! For a human, I'm surprised you know so much about other species' equipment and tools. I find it so awesome!
From,
Your Greatest Turian Fan
Diana gasped slightly, her hand going up to her mouth before several loud squeals left her mouth. These fans never stopped being hilarious! How could a single paragraph have so many dick euphemisms in it? She burst out laughing and threw her head back.
After she had calmed down, the door to her personal office opened and one of her fellow reporters walked in with a datapad in his three fingered hand. He was a Turian, named Kerric, with a large build and sloppy posture. Diana found him to be a huge hard ass.
Kerric looked up from his datapad and narrowed his eyes, "Aren't you supposed to filing a story on the Reapers."
Diana scowled and crossed her arms, "What do you want?"
Kerric came over and looked over her head down at her computer questioningly, "What is that?
Diana glanced back at the still open fan mail and shrugged, "It's nothing you need to worry about."
Heedless of her words, Kerric scanned the mail and his face suddenly transformed into a mask of horror. He stumbled back from the computer; much to Diana's confusion, "I need to go," He said quickly and hurried out the room.
Diana glanced back at the computer, specifically the, Your Greatest Turian Fan part. Her eyes widened at the thought that struck her like a lightning bolt, and she grabbed her datapad to storm after her so call 'Greatest Fan.'