DATE STARTED: JULY 24, 2015
DATE FINISHED: JULY 24, 2O15
DATE EDITED: PENDING
WORD COUNT: 1149
I sighed once as I put my wad of paper on the desk and sat down, burying my face in my hands as I thought of what could have simply possessed me to want to write to my ex, two months after I broke up with him. Of course, there was no more turning back as I grabbed the nearest pen I could find and spilled out my jumbled thoughts onto the blank pages.
You're a dick and I hate you. I'm glad that every time you write something, you're going to be remembering the helpful tips I gave you. Especially the 'Stick to One Girlfriend' rule. I hope you find a girl that will finally match-up to your level of importance to society. And hopefully, not be some kind of version of me, as my nightmares have suggested. I wish for you to be painfully reminded of me as you think about the Red Cross and blood donations and I hope that that haunts you forever. May I go down in history as your best worst ex and also first ex at that.
To this day you haunt me as my friends ask me about how you've been and how badly I apparently treated you. I'm sorry if I wanted to have a new beginning in college and decided that maybe it was time to finally speak out about how I 'used' you.
Yes, that was the term that had been set to describe how I utilized you as my personal punching bag and used you to boost my confidence up and to rappel me into the higher ranks of society. My friends firmly believed that I was a shithead for deciding to break up with you. But here's the thing. We were poison for each other. You loved me to endless tomorrow and I didn't want that to stop either of us from obtaining our goals.
I could see how badly I screwed up your life and your grades and it hurt me to think that while this was happening to you, I was bathing in glory and delight of everything good that had happened to me while we were together. I was stopping you from reaching your true potential and you were pulling me back from a future I wanted to have.
To explain that last thought further. Your mother said it herself, you were smart and hardworking but then you met me. This volatile, weird, girl that aimed to be the very best she could be and do everything to be made memorable in her senior year in high school. We both spent countless nights staying up late just to talk to each other. Ignoring our schoolwork and other activities. I could see it in your eyes that you were committed and dedicated to me and that scared me to death. I didn't want you to commit to me wholly and then stop yourself from finding out more about yourself that you didn't know about yet.
And then we have me. Someone who has been dreaming of one chance to set things right and to finally be that girl that everyone envied and wanted to be. I was that girl who used to only wish for something like that to happen and then when it did, it turned me into a whole new person. During one of my endeavors to become that someone, I had to stop communicating for you for a period of time and during that time, I realized that I didn't need a man to back me up in my endeavors and cheer me on every step of the way like I had been doing with you for the last ten months.
Another thing was that you were really pulling me down. During those days that we didn't get to communicate, I had been stuck with the dawning thought that you were guilt-tripping me into regretting going through with the process of attaining my rank now. And then I started thinking about how it might be if you continued to involuntarily guilt-trip me into not doing things that would lead me to the better pastures that I've craved all these years.
Look, apparently, you've met someone new and so have I. He's great. Sure, we don't exactly have the same interests and sometimes he's such a seaweed brain and probably the complete opposite of me but I've grown to love him. He's good at things that I'm not and is finally someone who I know can understand the stress that I'm going through right now. Sometimes, I don't understand anything he says but maybe that's because I'm too busy looking into his eyes.
Luke, we had a great run and I'm sorry for being an idiot and breaking up with you like I did but there's nothing I can do about that now.
You know, my friends say you really did love me. I mean, you impressed Thalia and we both know she's a tough nut to crack.
I don't even know why I'm writing this letter. I know it will never change your opinion of me and it's not like I'm doing this to get you back.
I guess it's because I probably realized that you deserved closure and I thought this was the way to give it to you.
Don't get me wrong, you deserved the break-up and I hate your guts after you called me countless of times while I was at the office being very busy with an upcoming event just to try and get back together with me.
But let me end this with a sincere and heartfelt 'Fuck you. You're a dick'.
-Annabeth
I felt myself exhale as my fingers dropped the pen and settled down on top of the letter that I had just wrote. It held about ninety percent of what I wanted to say and I was happy with it.
Folding the papers, I put them into a white envelope and sealed it in, writing his address on top. The next thing I did was stand up and grab my backpack and walk straight to the nearest post office so I could mail the letter to him before I got to chicken out of doing it.
My mind wandered to what his reaction might be and then I shook those thoughts away as I got nearer to the post office. This wasn't the time to reminisce old memories with him. It was the time to say 'Fuck you' one more time before grinning like a maniac and returning to my undone college algebra homework at home.
After I had paid for the international postage stamp and left my letter to the postmen, I walked out of the establishment with my head held high and my phone unlocked and ready to text Percy that I was dropping by for coffee before I went home.
Hi. Uhhh. I just sort of felt like I needed to write something and this just came out of me for no reason at all. I don't even know why I've been feeling really blue today. I mean, I went on my first date ever that just had to elaborately sound a lot like a story I co-wrote with my ex.
So, call me weird ass ho or whatever. What's important is that I finally let this out of my system. It's weird. Like really. My current boyfriend has always felt really bad about how I ended things with my ex and I guess I do understand his point of view and maybe that also pushed me to write what I did.
I guess you can say that I wrote the story based on a lot of very personal things in my life and didn't write it for my ex to see or for people to feel anything for me but to just kind of remind myself that I made the right decision.