Woo-hoo, my fanfiction début! I'm so excited, I could do a dance! Except I won't, 'cuz no one wants to see that.
This oneshot was originally going to be longer, with descriptions of what everyone in the Straw Hat crew did on their day off. However, the only idea I had that was actually any good was this idea about Usopp. I decided to extend it and this is what I got.
The time frame for this story… Hmm, I would have to say some time after Arabasta, of course, as Robin's around. So, sometime between Arabasta and Enies Lobby.
At the end is a VERY short teaser for my first big One Piece fic, "A Chef's Hands." This is just to get people interested in my writing before I start my big projects. I hope you all enjoy!
Chalk
By Dandy Wonderous
"Looks like the climate's stabilized," Nami announced, standing by the galley door of the Going Merry. She moved to the railing and leaned against it, looking down at the exhausted men laying on the deck. "Good job, everyone! We made it through another storm!"
Usopp raised his head off the deck just enough to glare at the navigator. "Jerk! You didn't do anything!"
"Of course I did. I led us through. If it weren't for me ordering everyone around, you'd still be stuck in the rain and snow." She smiled coyly.
"Don't bother Nami-san!" Sanji snapped, finding the strength to defend one of his so-called "loves." "She works so hard!"
"Thank you, Sanji-kun!"
"You're welcome, Nami-swaaan!"
Usopp let his head flop back to the deck, too tired to argue further. "Sure, whatever."
Nami went off to check their course, then returned. "It'll take us a few hours to get to the next island. You guys are free until then."
"Alright!" yelled Luffy, springing up and running for the galley. "Sanji! MEAT!!!"
THUD!!! The incorrigible captain was sent flying back by a swift kick from the cook. "Idiot! Wait your turn! I'm making lunch for Nami-san and Robin-chan first!"
Usopp pulled himself up and watched Zoro wander off to take a nap. Nami and Robin went into the galley, Sanji close on their heels in full-on flirt mode, while Chopper and Luffy went below. With a groan, the sniper got to his feet and looked around the empty deck.
What to do now? He was running low on Tabasco and sure-kill stars, and he'd had a few ideas on some new ammo as well. He decided to work on those during the few hours of calm, provided they weren't attacked by evil pirates or marines or sea kings or some other monster. He decided to work up on the forward deck rather than below where he was sure to be bothered by Luffy, and he snuck down to his "workshop," retrieved his things, and spread out to work under the blue Grand Line sky.
He looked through his things, mulling over the materials and random odds-and-ends he had collected at the last port. String, buttons, marbles, marshmallows (he ate a few before continuing), different sizes of pachinko balls, and…
Some chalk.
What was he supposed to do with chalk, exactly? It had seemed like a good buy at the time, when the salesman was going on and on about how Gold Roger never went anywhere without a full box (in all colors), but looking at it now, he didn't see how it helped him.
He stared off into space, trying to think of all the things he could do with the chalk. It really seemed like a useless thing, when you thought about it. What could you do with chalk; draw things? Yeah, that was really it.
"I, the great Captain Usopp, was cornered between a huge cliff and thirty-no, forty!-Marines," he said to himself, fabricating the tale from thin air. "I had only my trusty slingshot and a few pieces of chalk. My allies were all unconscious, and I alone was left to save them from our impending doom!"
As though of its own accord, his hand had begun scribbling on the deck's wooden surface.
"The leader of the Marines, he was this huge guy, a giant of a man, over four meters tall, at least!" Usopp's left arm made appropriate hand gestures to demonstrate the size of the man to his invisible audience.
The scribbles began to turn into shapes.
"And he was strong, too! He had this huge battle axe that weighed five tons!" Usopp laughed. "Of course, this was no problem to me, since I often fight with my own five ton hammer. It would have been great if it had been with me, but I had carelessly-no recklessly, I RECKLESSLY left it back on the Going Merry, not thinking it would be necessary."
The shapes began to look vaguely like people.
"So here I am, alone, the fate of my nakama resting on my shoulders, with only my slingshot and chalk. And, of course, my mammoth strength, massive brainpower, and-" he smiled winningly, "my dashing good looks. The big man laughed, sure that this would be a simple fight, but underestimated me. He swung!" Usopp jumped up and mimed the battle. "I dodged! I turned and ran up the side of the cliff like a spider!" He drew his slingshot and aimed it at his imaginary foe. "Loading the chalk, I aimed and BAM!!! It went straight in his eye!" Usopp paused for a second; was that too violent for Kaya and the Usopp Pirates? "But it broke in midair," he corrected, "and his face and eyes were coated in fine white powder. He screamed and rubbed at his face, trying to get it off, and I took that moment to deliver the final blow!" Usopp pretended to shoot his slingshot once more. "Boom! Knock out!" He through his head back and laughed his most heroic laugh, then sat back down on the deck. His hand found the chalk once more and began finishing the picture. "And the other fifty Marines ran away, scared of the defeat waiting for them at the hands of Captain Usopp, fierce warrior of the sea!" He looked down at the deck. "What do you think of that, Kaya?…Huh?"
His hand had turned the scribbles into a picture of the Going Merry. There, on the figurehead, stood himself, striking a heroic pose, his slingshot held aloft triumphantly. Behind him stood not the other Straw Hats but Kaya and the Usopp Pirates, Ninjin, Tamanegi, and Piiman. The Straw Hat flag had been replaced with his own flag and symbol.
Usopp stared down at his own drawing in shock. He hadn't realized that he had been homesick, but now, staring at the picture, he suddenly found himself wondering what they were doing now or if they were thinking of him. Did they know he had made it to the Grand Line? Were they still expecting his return? His eyes traced the picture, especially Kaya's face, again and again. Was she proud of him?
A sandaled foot crashed down on his drawing, and he jumped up in shock. A second foot came down on his chalk likeness. "Oi, Usopp. What're you doing?"
Usopp could only gape at his captain in stunned silence for several seconds. Luffy finally poked his forehead experimentally. "Usopp? Still alive?"
Usopp awoke from his trance and jumped to his feet. "Aah, Luffy, you jerk! You've smudged it!"
Luffy was genuinely confused. "Eh? Smudged what?"
"The drawing, you idiot!" Usopp explained, pointing at the deck.
Luffy looked down, then his eyes widened in shock. "Aah! I'm sorry, I didn't see it! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He began running in a frantic circle, repeating his apologies over and over.
"Aah!" yelled Usopp. "Stop it! You're making it worse!"
The careless captain skid to a stop, then looked down beneath his feet. Usopp's beautiful chalk drawing had been reduced to a cloud of white on the deck with nothing recognizable. "Usopp, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" he apologized again, then looked up at the sniper.
"Luffy," Usopp said slowly, cracking his knuckles. For once his voice was low and menacing. "You IDIOT!!!"
POW!!!
Luffy sat on the remains of Usopp's picture, rubbing the bump that was rising on his head. "Can't you just draw another?" he suggested.
Usopp shook his head, crouched on the deck and tracing the wood with his finger. "No. The muse is gone."
Luffy had no idea what "muse" meant, so he tried again. "Why don't you draw a picture of all of us? That would be so COOL!"
Usopp studied the other boy for a moment. Luffy had an eager smile on his face. "Geez, you're like a little kid… okay, fine. I'll draw another."
"Yosh!" yelled Luffy, jumping up excitedly. "Get going, Usopp!"
"It'll take some time, so give me some room."
"Okay!"
"That means go away, jerk!"
"Nwami-saaan! Robin-chwaaan! And the rest of you louts!" Sanji leaned out the galley door. "Lunch is ready!"
The scattered members of the crew made their way to the galley, chatting sporadically about the good weather and their last adventure. Zoro, the last to arrive at the door, stopped and looked around.
"Hold on; where's Usopp and Luffy? They're usually the first here."
"Why do you care?" asked Sanji, taking a drag on his cigarette.
"I don't, ero-cook. Except usually, if he's not around for a meal, Luffy's causing trouble."
Sanji sighed, blowing smoke in the swordsman's face. "True. Maybe you should go look for them."
"Me? Why don't you look for them?"
Before a full-blown fight erupted, Luffy appeared from out of nowhere. "Everyone! Come see Usopp's drawing!"
Cook and swordsman broke away from growling at each other to look at their captain. "Usopp's WHAT?" they asked together.
"Usopp can draw?" Chopper asked, appearing in the doorway. He was followed by Nami and Robin, who were also curious.
"He painted our flag," Nami explained to the little reindeer.
Chopper looked up at the jolly roger, eyes wide. "Really? Wow! He's good!"
Lunch forgotten, the crew walked to the forward deck to see the sniper's masterpiece. Usopp was striking a heroic pose next to it, looking smug. "It's finished," he announced unnecessarily.
There on the deck was a perfect 2-D reproduction of the Going Merry. On the figurehead sat Luffy in his customary pose. Behind him stood the crew in various poses. Everyone stared at their chalk likenesses in shock.
"Wow," said Nami finally, breaking the silence.
"You're so GOOOD!!!" cried Chopper in awe.
"An uncanny likeness, Long Nose," said Robin with a nod.
"Pretty good," said Sanji. "I even have a lit cigarette."
"Eh, it's alright," said Zoro flatly.
"It's great! Amazing!" yelled Luffy happily.
They continued to look at it for several minutes. After a moment, Robin leaned in close to Nami.
"Won't it simply wash away with the next rain?"
"Yeah," the navigator replied with a shrug. "But let's not spoil their fun."
Meanwhile, Sanji had crouched down next to the drawing. "Oi, Usopp. Who's this girl over here next to you?"
Usopp looked over the chef's shoulder. "Oh, her." He stared at Kaya's likeness. "She's just a friend."
Sanji looked excited. "She's cute! What's her name? Where's she from?"
"Like I'd tell you, ero-cook!"
"Aw, come on! Her name won't hurt!"
The others laughed as Sanji chased Usopp around, begging for her name, while the sniper flatly denied to give him anything.
And he was already thinking of how the Tale of the Chalk was going to make a great story for Kaya and the Usopp Pirates.
The End
A/N: Woo, my first story complete! Okay, now for important points…
"Jerk! You didn't do anything!"
Anyone else notice that Usopp calls people "jerk" a lot (or he does in the fansubs, anyway)? Actually, I've noticed that everyone has a preferred insult. Sanji originally said one of his favorites, but since there was no other reason to rate this story T, I changed it to "idiot."
He decided to work up on the forward deck …
I'm sure there's a more nautical term for that, but I don't know what it is. Forgive my ignorance!!!
…marshmallows (he ate a few before continuing)…
This reminds me, I haven't eaten supper… oh, that has nothing to do with the story. Sorry!
…he was this huge guy, a giant of a man, over four meters tall, at least!"
I'm from the good ol' US of A, and we, like the crazy nonconformists that we are, don't use the metric system. If a meter is close to a yard, then that's around twelve feet tall or so, but my apologies if I've gone temporarily crazy and that's totally wrong.
…the Usopp Pirates, Ninjin, Tamanegi, and Piiman.
I know what you're thinking: "Wow, she knows all the names of the Usopp Pirates? She must be one dedicated fan!" But it's all a sham!!! I looked it up on the One Piece wikia! Those guys are my saving grace, though. A HUGE thank you to all you guys who edit it!
He began running in a frantic circle, repeating his apologies over and over.
It's such a Luffy thing to do.
Luffy sat on the remains of Usopp's picture, rubbing the bump that was rising on his head.
Usopp isn't a strong guy, but if Nami can give Luffy a bump for comedic effect, then so can he!
"Nwami-saaan! Robin-chwaaan! And the rest of you louts!"
This is basically one of my favorite Sanji lines. He says it on Little Garden, only with "Vivi-chan" instead of "Robin-chan" (obviously). I think he says something other than louts, too, but I can't remember…
"Lunch is ready!"
No, it's okay; I ate some ice cream before finishing the author's notes, so I'm good.
On the figurehead sat Luffy in his customary pose.
You know, Luffy, sitting on that thing that looks like a goat, his arm in the arm, maybe, or holding his hat… no? Eh, I know what I was talking about, so there. Heeheehee…
"An uncanny likeness, Long Nose," said Robin with a nod.
Poor Robin; she has practically no lines! It's not that I don't like her, it's just that she's almost as unnecessary to this story as Chopper. Poor Chopper…
Okay, now, as promised: the teaser for my first big One Piece fanfiction project, entitled "A Chef's Hands"!!! (It's going to be rated T, by the way, but this teaser is plenty tame.)
"Zoro!" Nami called, running down the alley to catch up. "Any sign of him?"
Zoro waited for her to draw level with him, then continued down the street. "No. Are you yelling loud enough?"
"Huh?" she panted.
"Usually the ero-cook comes running at the sound of your voice." He sounded annoyed, but maybe, really, really deep down there was a minuscule hint of worry…
Nami followed the swordsman, peering into the shadows of every side street and alley. "All the shops were closed, so I don't know where he could-AAH!!!"
She shrieked, looking down at her ankle in fright. Zoro was at her side in an instant, ready to draw his swords.
A bloody, broken hand had emerged from the shadows of a particularly dark and sinister alley and grabbed on to Nami's ankle. It gave little resistance when she tried to pull away.
"N-nami-san?" whispered a weak voice from the shadow's depths.
"Oh my… Sanji-kun?" she asked tentatively, peering down at the hand's owner.
"The hell?" asked Zoro aloud, looking at him as well.
Sanji was laying on his stomach, and looked as though he'd been trying to pull himself back to the ship. His black suit was torn and bloody, and a trail of dried blood extended from the corner of his mouth to his chin. His right eye looked up at them through a half-closed lid, glazed over. "And… marimo-head," he moaned.
Nami crouched down next to him and looked him over. "Oh, Zoro!" she cried after a moment. "Look at his hands!"
A Chef's Hands
Coming to a computer screen near you
For my last word, my cat, Sweetie, has been crawling over my keyboard all night, making this very difficult to write and almost deleting it once. So, because she's so persistent, I have given her the last word:
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Thank you Sweetie.